A Million Ways to Die in the West - Gun Fight With Liam Neeson

All right, sweetheart. Let's find out if your wee boyfriend gives a s*** about you. He's got six minutes till noon. And if he doesn't show, he'll be picking up pieces of you all over the street. Dirk! Look who's here. Let her go, Clinch. True love conquers all, doesn't it, sweetheart? Let her go, and let's you and me just settle this like adults. Lewis, Ben, come and take this s***. Albert, no. Don't be stupid, Albert! Get out of here! Get out of here! Too late for that. He's already been stupid. Haven't you, Albert? You've been with my wife. Well, we haven't actually done it, if that makes any kind of a difference. Okay, look, look, look. Here's my idea, okay? You're a pretty tough guy, yeah? Why don't you prove it? Gunfight. You and me, right here, right now. You really do have a death wish, don't you? I guess you'll have to find that out, huh? Uh-huh. Take out your gun. Point it at me. Good boy. All right. You shoot on three. One. I've been playing cards a long time, and I would never have bet on that start. Where'd you learn to shoot? Your wife. Oh, snap. Holy f***. Okay, look, look, look. Before you kill me, just grant me a few last words, all right? Make it quick. Let Anna live, all right? Let her live. This is not her fault. I kissed her. She didn't kiss me, all right? It's not her fault. I mean, she didn't tell me she was married, so it's a little bit her fault, I guess. Yeah, I guess that's kind of true, so maybe just shoot her in the arm? And one more thing. My grandparents were Arabic, so I'm required by Muslim tradition to recite the Islamic death chant immediately before dying. This will only take a moment. What's the matter, Clinch? You not feeling well? You okay, boss? What's happening to me? You know, there are a million ways to die in the West, Clinch. There's famine, disease, gunfights, and wild animals. You know, like snakes. And you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream, and you're pretty much screwed. For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a holotip bullet, you really only need one shot. Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough to hit you anywhere important, but if I caught you by surprise... Well, Anna taught me just enough to get me in the ballpark. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's... Albert! He's dead. We... You did it. Oh. Yeah. Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? Uh, no. No, I don't think so. Oh. Well, still good, though. Oh, that's great. That sounds really good. No! Albert! I'm really horny right now. Let's go in the shade and f***. Well done, sheep boy. Hey, sorry I killed your husband. Oh, God. That was never gonna work out anyway. He's Methodist. I'm half-Jewish. Yeah, yeah. Are you? You are? No. Oh, thank God. You're not really Arabic, are you? No, no, no, no. Just thank God, because I was like, ah, kill me! I know, right? Ah, no! Oh, my God! No, we're fine. We're okay. Albert! Hey, Louise. Hey. Listen. If you want to... If you want to talk about things, I would like that.