Modern Distractions Are Limiting Your Potential

This may be a controversial opinion, but I believe now is a great time to be alive as a man. There are so many opportunities unique to this era, but with those opportunities we also have many new distractions. It's never been easier to get distracted, to be pulled away from the things that you're meant to do. And in today's video I'm going to talk through some of the worst modern distractions that may be holding you back and limiting your potential. Hello, my name is James, and I am on a mission to create a generation of gentlemen. The biggest distraction holding men back today is the thing you're probably watching this video on, which is your phone. The average American spends 4 hours and 37 minutes every single day on their phone, checking it over 100. And I'm sure you know that many of the times you pick up your phone, it's not because you have a particular need that must be fulfilled using the phone, it's merely out of habit. And all of the apps on the phone, whether they are social media apps or games or dating apps, they are designed to be addictive, designed to keep you scrolling. The best piece of advice I can give you here is to simply turn your phone off. for an extended period of the day. Personally, I turn my phone off at night around nine or 10 o'clock, and I prefer not to turn it back on until maybe 10, 11, 12 the next day. I find that eliminating the distraction altogether is much better than trying to avoid it and resist that temptation with a phone going off with notifications and lights all of the time. Some people also find that if they turn their phone to gray scale, you can actually make your phone black and white, that makes it less enticing. ...produces less dopamine when you look at it, so it's much easier to break that phone addiction. As I said, I believe we live in the era of opportunity, but the downside to having so many opportunities is that, as men, we can get shiny object syndrome. We are always chasing the new thing. For people who've seen The Matrix, you may recognize this as the woman in the red dress. Things that seem attractive and seem promising, but they are ultimately distractions from our main goal. Now as somebody who is an entrepreneur and always has new ideas for places I could take my business that's definitely something that I struggle with and I have to deliberately resist exploring avenues that actually may be quite fruitful because I have to focus on my existing thing, my existing customers, my existing product. Back in the 50s and 60s life was a lot more simple for men. If you grew up in a working class or lower middle class house you would get a blue collar job, you might join a trade union. If you were born in more of a middle class or perhaps upper middle class family you get a white collar job in an office. Today men have so many options and that can create a kind of decision paralysis. I think it's great to explore your options as a young man, There's no need to commit to one career path at the age of 15 and never change. But when it comes to actually doing the work, make sure you do that work with the utmost focus. Two other distractions that I see holding men back are alcohol and weed. Now, when it comes to productivity and limiting your potential, I find alcohol to be by far one of the worst drugs out there because not only does it ruin your evening if you drink too much, but it also ruins the next day. And nobody's ever been more productive because they woke up hungover. Weed is an interesting one because I find that the men or the people that shouldn't smoke it are the people that smoke it the most. And people who are very type A, who are very uptight, who might actually benefit a little bit from having a joint now and then, are the least likely to ever touch it and they have the most negative view of it. I find that substances like that often bring out the extremes in your personality. So for many men, if you do struggle with discipline, if you struggle with laziness or motivation, you absolutely do not want to touch cannabis. Now here is something that I believe is a huge distraction, but actually might be something you think is good for you. I'm talking about constantly consuming news and political commentary. And this tends to be something that distracts the older generation more than the younger generation. I personally believe that as a man, you need to be on your own mission. Yes, take an interest in current affairs, in politics, especially if that's aligned with your mission. But don't let it become consuming. Don't spend hours a day reading news, listening to news, watching news because you are filling your head with other people's thoughts and other people's ideas rather than focusing on the things that you can change as an independent person. I used to work in the mainstream media and these companies are just trying to get your attention just like a social media company. Just like a dating app, just like a pornography company. I personally do enjoy reading a newspaper from time to time. I enjoy high quality journalism, but scrolling Apple News all day, watching the television, listening to political commentary all of the time, I believe that is noise and that can be incredibly distracting to your main goal. Okay, I couldn't have made this video without saying video games. You knew this was coming if you've seen my channel before. But really, it's shocking how much time young men are spending on video games. I think it's an average of 1.7 hours a day for the average gamer. And really, if you want to do something significant with your life, an hour a day is all you need. If you want to get in good shape, an hour a day is more than enough time. If you want to learn a language, If you want to master a skill like a musical instrument or a sport or start a YouTube channel, one hour a day can be so powerful. Yet so many men are taking not only that time but also that sense of accomplishment that comes from playing video games and completely wasting it, putting it into something that really will go nowhere. Now if you intrinsically just enjoy playing video games, I think it's okay to do this now and then. But ultimately, I have to include this because this really is one of the biggest distractions that is holding young men back today. And my final distraction that is limiting the potential of young men. This one might surprise you, but I'm actually going for casual dating and hookup culture. If you are like me, you probably have the aim to be married one day, to have children, to have a fulfilling long-term relationship. with just one person. Now for a while I believed that being in a relationship was something I frankly didn't have the time to invest into and something that could have been a distraction in and of itself. But actually being a single man is also incredibly distracting unless you live like a monk, which frankly I don't want to do. Using dating apps, going out to bars to meet women, going on first dates that go nowhere, hooking up with people, this all takes time, it all takes effort and I ultimately realized, why am I going on this very long winding path, rather than just actually looking for what I ultimately want, which is a long-term relationship with a woman that shares my values, that I feel is beautiful and I want to share a life with. So short-term dating, hookup culture, it can be a major distraction for men. And ultimately, you have to ask yourself, when does the game stop? You decide you're going to stop doing this at 30, you decide you're going to stop doing this at 35, if you get to 40 and you've been a bachelor for 15-20 years, breaking that habit and inviting a woman into your life and starting a family is going to be incredibly hard for you and I've definitely seen that happen with many people in my life, many men I've looked up to in fact. But I've also noticed that many of the other men I look up to, many successful men, they've been with the same woman since. They were in their 20s and they've built an incredible, beautiful family life together. So ultimately, it's up to you whether you feel like you are ready for a long-term relationship, but I do warn you against over-investing your time and energy into chasing the short-term validation of hookup culture and easy. short-term dating. If you feel like any of these distractions are limiting your potential or holding you back or you simply have a vision for a better version of yourself that you would like to become, I would love to be a part of your journey and we can work together one-to-one via my private mentorship program. Not only will I help you personally to unlock your potential but I'll also introduce you to a very small community of like-minded men with whom you can share your your goals and they will keep you accountable If you're interested, the link is in the description and I'll see you in the next video.