Learn Real-Life English: The Hardest Lessons My Children Have Taught Me

Are you ready to learn some real life English with comprehensible input? Well, good, because today we are going to have a special kind of English video. I am going to speak slowly and clearly so that you can understand about a topic that is different but very important to me. Today, I am going to tell you guys the lessons that I have learned from my children. Let's go. Okay guys, this is not going to be a normal English lesson video. This is going to be real life. My real life and you guys can use it to improve your English. So I'm going to tell you the things that I have learned in 11 years as a father. And along the way, I will point out specific vocabulary words and phrases and give you guys a chance to shadow them or repeat after me. Okay, so like I said, this is real life. This is going to be a, here's our first vocabulary word, very profound video. Okay, now if you speak a language like Spanish, you will already know this word, profound, profundo. But it may be new for a lot of you guys. So what does profound mean? Profound means it's very deep. Okay? Very deep. And that's what these lessons that I learned from my children are. Very deep. Okay? Very meaningful. Full of wisdom. Full of things that you need to learn in life. Okay? So this is going to be a very profound video. Let's shadow that word so you guys can practice your pronunciation. After I say it, you say it. Profound. One more time. Profound. All right, so let's move on with this profound video. My son, his name is Connor. He's 11 years old. And my daughter, her name is Abigail. She is only three months old. Now, this 11-year-old boy and this three-month-old girl, ...have been the greatest teachers I've ever had in my life. Now think about that. What can an 11-year-old and a 3-month-old baby teach a grown man? Well guys, you would not believe the things that these two children have taught me. So, we're going to start with my son, but before I tell you the things that Connor taught me, I'm going to make the next piece of vocabulary a phrase. A very good phrase when you're talking about profound things. So in this video, guys, I am going to wear my heart, my heart on my sleeve, okay? That is something that we say when somebody is speaking and being very open, okay? They're telling you the truth. They're not hiding the reality. They're not lying to sound better. They're telling you the truth, even if it makes them look bad or makes them feel a little bit weak. They are being open to you, okay? I'm going to be open to you guys in this video and wear my heart on my sleeve, okay? This part of clothing is your sleeve. So if you wear your heart on your sleeve, it means you are putting everything out there in the open. That's what I'm going to do today. Let's shadow that phrase, guys. I think it's very useful to practice your pronunciation with a whole phrase instead of just a word. So, to wear your heart on your sleeve. Now a little bit faster and more natural. To wear your heart on your sleeve. Very good. Tell me in the comments, have you guys heard that one before? Alright, so, let's start with Connor. My son Connor is 11 years old and he's the smartest person I know. Connor can tell you anything about space, about the body, he knows about the microorganisms that are inside of us, the germs, blood cells, things like that. Connor is so smart and I respect him and love him so much. He's such a good boy. He always tries to do the right thing. He's caring and he's thoughtful. Now, what are some of the lessons that this wonderful little boy taught me? Well, the first one, and most important one, he taught me to be a man. Oh, I found some cool wildlife, guys. A snail. Found a little snail. That's a snail. Come on, little snail. Sorry to bother you. Had to show you guys that. I love seeing animals out here. Connor taught me to be a man, okay? And when I say to be a man... I just mean to be an adult, okay? To be a responsible adult. Now, when I had Connor, when Connor was born, I was 24 years old, okay? And 24 years old is legally an adult, but I was mentally, I was not a man, guys. I was just a 24-year-old kid. All I worried about was having fun. And stupid things, I didn't have goals in my life, I didn't have a direction in my life, I was not a man yet. I think that Connor is what made me a man. Now here, I'm going to open up with you guys, wear my heart on my sleeve, and tell you guys something very deep that happened that changed my life and that I will never forget. So guys, please don't judge me, don't think, oh, Kyle was a bad guy, because I was a human. I've learned my lessons and I've grown so much and this is a good example of wearing your heart on your sleeve. I'm going to tell you guys something that will make me look bad but I'm being honest because it's the truth of my past. So before Connor was born I drank alcohol all the time and honestly you could say that I was an alcoholic and you know what since this is a real life video And not every word in real life is beautiful. Let's make that another word. An alcoholic. What is an alcoholic? An alcoholic is somebody who drinks all the time, and they pretty much have to drink, okay? It's a mental dependence, an addiction, and that's what an alcoholic is. Somebody who is addicted, meaning they always have to do it, to drinking alcohol. So let's pronounce that. I know it's not a pretty word, but guys, in real life, not all the words are pretty. Alcoholic. Alcoholic. Very good. So when I was like 20, let's say from 21 to 24, I was an alcoholic, guys. It's not pretty to say, but it's the truth. Got a family out here trying to walk with their kid. Hey guys. So that's the truth of it. It's an ugly truth, but I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve. I was an alcoholic from the ages of probably 21 to 23 or 24. I drank every day, guys, and I didn't know I was an alcoholic, but if you're drinking yourself to sleep every day, you're an alcoholic. And, you know, it was not a pretty time in my life, but it's the truth. And honestly, I'm happy I went through it because I've learned so much, guys, and I wouldn't have any of the wisdom. that I have today if I had a pretty easy nice life. I was thinking about that a lot lately. Sometimes we're like, oh I wish bad things would stop happening to me. But the bad things are what made me a fairly wise man. So I was an alcoholic. Now when did I stop being an alcoholic? What happened? Well before Connor was even born. Yes, this boy taught me a lesson before he was even I'm not even born. I had to tell my mom that I was going to be a father. Connor's mom was pregnant, so I told her, I said, Mom, you're going to be a grandma. Now, a lot of times if you tell a woman they're going to be a grandmother, they'll cry because they're so happy. I'm so happy I'll be a grandma. My mom started crying because she was sad. She was sad and she was scared. And she told me something that I will never forget, and it hurt, but it was true, and I needed to hear it. She said, you drink every day and you cannot be a parent if you are drunk. Oh, guys. Wow. That one hurt, but it was so, so true. She was right. I drank every day. I was not responsible. All I cared about was having fun, and I could not be a father like that. So that same night that she told me that, I did something different. Instead of drinking alcohol, I took my dog and I went for a run. I went for a run, guys, the first actual run of my life, where I went for a run just to exercise, just to do it. I took my dog with me, and I was tired in about 20 seconds because I was overweight. I was out of shape from all my drinking and being a lazy loser. And from that night forward, guys, every night, it became a habit. I started taking my dog on a run. And that was when I broke my alcoholism. And that was a lesson that Connor taught me. And, you know, being a man or being an adult is about responsibilities. And I've had a lot of responsibilities with my son. And I did a lot of it all by myself. So Connor made me into a man, starting from before he was even born all the way until this day. I knew I had to grow up. I knew I had to stop doing childish and stupid things and I had to become a man because my son needed a man for a father, not a drunk little boy. All right, the next lesson that Connor taught me was what it truly means to love somebody. Now, you know, you think you love your first boyfriend or girlfriend. You think you love them. Oh, I can't live without them. Things like that, you know. But Connor taught me what real love was, what it really means to love someone with all of your heart. And to me, what it truly means to love somebody is to put them before yourself, to care more that they are okay than that you are okay. And that's what Connor taught me. There were so many times, guys, that I had to do something, which will be our next vocabulary word for Connor. And that is to sacrifice. So what does to sacrifice mean? To sacrifice means to give something up, to not do something that you want to do or something that is special to you because you have another reason, okay? So I had to sacrifice so much to take care of my son. I sacrificed my money, my health, my mental well-being because I was trying to protect him from the bad things in the world. And, you know, Connor and I had a very hard situation that we won't talk about in this video because it's in the past and it was the hardest time of my life. But I had to sacrifice so much for him. It really messed up my mental health. But I had to sacrifice all of that to protect my son, and I did. And I took a lot of pain so that he didn't have to. And that is the sacrifice. So let's... Shadow that word. That's a good word to practice. Sacrifice. Sacrifice. Now, I want to share one thing because my wife brought this up to me the other day. And this is a quote that I've always loved. And it was special for me to hear that she's starting to understand what it truly means. And I want to share it with you guys. Now, this is a quote of Jesus from the Bible. If you're Christian, maybe you heard this already. If you're Muslim, I don't know if this quote is in the Quran. I know that you guys respect and love Jesus very much. But I don't know if this quote is in the Quran or only in the New Testament of the Bible. This has nothing to do with religion, guys. This is spiritual wisdom. So let me tell you. Oh, I'm sorry, guys. And now I know it's not in the Quran because it's not a quote of Jesus. It's a quote about Jesus. from St. Paul. So Paul said this. So I really do not think it's in the Quran. Only in the New Testament of the Bible. So Paul said, husbands, love your wives like Christ loved all of us, humanity. He uses the word the church, but what that means is everybody. That he gave himself up for us. Now, you know, that's the story of Jesus died for everybody's sins. That's not what I believe it means at all. I believe it's a spiritual lesson to tell us how to truly love another. And what that means is, to love is to give yourself up completely. Now just imagine that, guys. The story of Christ, of Jesus, which I believe is a lesson to teach us the deepest spiritual lessons in the universe, is that he was tortured and just destroyed, guys. And he took it willingly to protect us, okay? Now, whether that actually happened 2,000 years ago or not means nothing to me. The lesson is a spiritual truth that is everything to me, okay? Now, what that means to me is he completely gave himself up. He took the pain. He gave up his body to be destroyed for the love that he had for everyone, okay? And Paul says, Husbands, love your wives like that. Now, in the Bible, when it says things like that, I don't think that's for a man talking about a woman. I think that's talking to every human, and it means to love the ones that you love in that way. And my wife felt that way because of Abigail. We'll talk later about that, but my wife is learning what that scripture means. We'll do that word next. What that scripture means, because she's had to give herself up to... To take care of a very sick, hard to deal with baby, okay? She found that love means you suffer sometimes so that your loved one can be okay, all right? And Paul says we need to take that to the extreme that we would even give ourselves up to torture and suffering and being just destroyed for our loved ones. And that is love. That's what Connor taught me, what love really is. Scripture is a good word to shadow because it is difficult to pronounce for a lot of different accents and people who speak different languages. So a scripture is a piece of writing from a spiritual text like the Bible, the Quran, Bhagavad Gita. Those things would all be considered spiritual sacred scriptures for their respective religion or part of the world. So, let's pronounce that word together because that S-C-R-I-P-T-U-R-E can be pretty difficult for some people. S-C-R-I-P-T-U-R-E. Very good, my friends. I hope you're enjoying watching me wear my heart on my sleeve. Alright, guys. And this is maybe the deepest one Connor taught me. I don't know. I feel like I'll probably say that a couple times in this video. That, oh, this is the deepest one. This is the deepest one. But all these things have shaped me into who I am, and they're all so deep in my mind and my heart, and I've meditated on them and thought on them for so long. But this is something Connor taught me without trying, and that is to love myself. Now, how can someone else teach you to love yourself? Well, Connor taught me this because I used to get angry. I used to get mad. I found a shiny rock, guys. Connor might like that. Sorry guys, I get distracted by nature's beauty. So, he taught me how to love myself because I used to get angry and mad. I would get mad when I saw him making mistakes or seeing him get angry or seeing him, this is a big one guys, seeing him be weak, okay? When I used to see him be weak, which is the opposite of strong, it made me very mad and I would get angry with him. And I had to learn, guys, I wasn't mad at him. I was holding him to the standard of a grown man who's been through years and years of hard things. How could I expect a little boy to be as strong as a grown man? And it was wrong, and I learned from it. And, you know, I've apologized to Connor for the times I used to get angry, but we were both going through so much hard stuff. So why did it make me mad to see him? I didn't cry or be weak when he was dealing with something hard because I saw the weakness in myself that I hated. I saw myself being weak in the past in situations that I now know I should have been strong and it scared me and made me not want to see him face the pain that I faced from being weak. So that's what I told him. In many conversations we've had, I'm sorry, buddy. I know I expect too much from you, but I want you to be strong because all of the bad things that have happened to me happened because I was too weak. Now I've learned that the pain that the weakness caused me made me go too far in the other direction and be too hard, too strong, and to shut off my emotions. And we'll make that the next word because it's a good one to shadow. Your emotions are happiness, sadness, anger, fear. Those are your emotions, okay? And dealing with all that pain from being weak forced me to shut off my emotions. So let's shadow that for a bit of pronunciation practice. Emotions, emotions. All right, now I had to shut off all my emotions. For years, guys, because I was dealing with so much pain, stress, and difficulties, I had to shut those emotions off because they were just hurting me. And I was at a point where I could not deal with them. I had to keep moving forward. So in the last, really the last year, I've been trying to find those emotions again in myself. And I've become a lot more understanding. And here's our next word, compassionate. And what compassionate means is you care for others. You can feel what they're feeling and see the world from their point of view and care for them. So let's shadow that real quick. Compassionate. Compassionate. Now, you're thinking maybe, how did that teach you to love yourself? Well, when I see Connor, I see this little boy who's dealing with hard things. I had to look within myself and see that little boy who, You know, almost 30 years ago now, was dealing with the same childhood weakness, immaturity, lack of experience. And guys, that child had to deal with those things all alone. Now, this is not, you know, talking bad about my parents. I'm sure they did the best they could, but they did not know how to be open emotionally, probably because of the hard things that happened in their lives. I was a little boy. Trying to figure out life all alone, all alone and I realized I will never do that to Connor. I will always be there for him. I will always be open with him and teach him how to be open with himself. But when I realized that I was going to become the father that I actually needed in the past, I had to somehow build a little relationship with that inner child, that little boy in me and I fell in love with him. I fell in love with that kid because everything I've achieved in my life, you know, where I've become, the man I've grown into, I did it with no guidance. Zero guidance, guys. And to me, that's just amazing. You know, I'm so far from perfect, guys. I'm growing every day. But the fact that I've somehow got to the place where I have this mindset. With zero guidance, I never had a mentor teaching me things, guys. Nobody taught me anything about spirituality, about success, about business, about speaking. I've learned all of this in this 35-year journey, basically alone, guys, my whole life. I've been mostly alone in a room. I've never been the kind of person that had a lot of friends, and I've never had close relationships with my family, so I've been alone my whole life. My whole life, all alone, and somehow I pulled myself out of that and became the man that I am today. And when I realized all that, guys, I found something that is so special, so important, and it's the only thing that will take you forward in this life, and it's self-respect and self-love. I thought, you know, all this time, guys, I was comparing myself to other people. And then, you know, I start meeting people who are successful and things like that. And they're talking to me and they're telling me, oh, my dad taught me this. My dad, you know, I worked with my dad or this person gave me money so I could do this. And I thought, wow, I did all that alone. I did all that alone. I learned these lessons by myself, sitting in a room all alone with books, with videos, listening to my mentors. And now I've become the man that I needed when I was a kid. I became the man that I needed as a child. The man that that little boy needed to guide him. So I built that relationship with that little boy who still lives somewhere in my heart, my mind, my past. I became the man that he needed. And I give that to Connor. And it's built a loving relationship with father and son, but also a love and respect for myself. And, guys, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to go into this later. I'm thinking about creating a community where we could talk about super deep things like this, but that's something that you need to look into. If you have some struggles from your past, some emotional and mental problems, look into inner child work, okay? Because so much of the problems we deal with today came from how we grew up and, you know, the lessons we were taught. Maybe somebody taught us the wrong thing. Or maybe nobody taught us at all, and that child felt all alone. So you've got to connect with that part of you and become the adult that you needed back then. And that's a lesson that Connor taught me. Oof, wow, that's a deep one, guys. That's a deep one. Alright, now I could talk all day about Connor. Honestly, Connor and I have spent so much time together. I tell him all the time that when he's not with me, it feels like one of my hands is gone because he's literally a part of me. And he says, aw, thanks, Dad. But those are the most profound things Connor has taught me. So now we'll move on to Abigail because I don't want this video to be an hour long, even though it's getting pretty long. If you're still with me, I congratulate you because this is not some super easy English but I also want to congratulate you because once you start being able to understand, think about and speak about the deep things in life, that's how you know you're starting to live the language and become fluent. It's becoming a part of you, becoming a part of your heart and soul. So, my baby girl, Abigail. What has Abigail taught me? Well, the first thing Abigail taught me is the value of marriage, okay? The value of a strong marriage and the importance of choosing the right partner. So, guys, Abigail, when we brought her home, she was a normal baby. But about one week in, she started having her problems. And from one week into her life, all the way until now, it has been non-stop. hard times, okay? And in those hard times, we've had other problems too. Family, money, the tornado that made us be without power for 12 whole days trying to deal with a sick baby. And what I've learned in all these hard times is that the most valuable thing I have is my wife. And I know she feels that same way about me. She told me that this morning. She can't believe how I've done She's done what I've done, and I can't believe how she's done what she's done. And, you know, this is another thing. I have to be compassionate with my wife because though she's five years younger than me, but she's much more innocent than me. She has not had the pain and the crazy experiences that I've had because she's been a good girl. I was a bad boy. She was a good girl. So she's never had this kind of pain in her life, this kind of hardship and struggle, and she's growing into a strong woman. I'm so proud of her. What this taught me, this situation that Abigail taught me as a newborn baby without knowing it, is that the person that you choose to make a family with, to spend your life with, is the most important choice you'll ever make. And, you know, I learned this because of all the hard times I had to face alone with Connor. And now that I have a partner to help me, if I didn't have my wife, I would be crazy right now. If I had to take care of Abigail by myself, I'd be crazy. It would be crazy if she didn't have me. she would be in a mental hospital probably and that just shows that the person you choose to be with to spend your life with is guys it's everything and the thing is times are going to be hard there's going to be hard times something is going to happen where you and your partner are tested and you're going to see are you really one or are you two people pretending to be one well There have been some ugly times these last couple weeks where me and my wife were mad at each other, but deep down, we always knew we're together, we're in this together, and we've had to learn to give each other a little bit of forgiveness and understanding because we're going through a hard time. But there have been days, guys, where I was so weak from working, from being sick. From holding Abigail for a whole day, from not sleeping, that I could hardly get off the couch to go to work the next day, guys. And on those days, my wife had to be strong. There were days when I came home from work and my wife was about to cry. I had to be strong and take care of Abigail after working for 12 hours. Now, imagine that if you didn't have somebody To be your other half, to be that other part of the family. Young ladies, you, when you're thinking about a man to marry, do you see this man standing up for you? And let's make that the next phrase. Do you see this man protecting you? Do you see this man holding your family up? If you don't, don't marry that man. And let's do that phrase real quick. To stand up for someone means to protect someone. It means when they are weak, you stand up, okay? To stand up for someone. To stand up for someone. People stand up for people who are getting bullied. If you go punch that bully, you've stood up for the person. You shouldn't punch people, but sometimes you have to. So, like I said, women looking for a man. Do you see that man holding the weight of your family and the world on his shoulders to protect you and your family? If not, don't marry that man. Young men, when you're looking for a woman, look for a woman. Who can be strong when you are weak, who is kind and forgiving, okay? Who will understand that you're just a human, and when you make mistakes, she will forgive you, and she can admit when she was wrong and say sorry. Gentlemen, young men, if you find a woman who can say that she was wrong and say sorry, that might be the woman you need to marry, okay? All right, so the importance of marriage. I learned that with Abigail. I already knew it, but Abigail really taught us that and she's teaching us that every day. Okay, the other lesson that Abigail taught me in her short three months on this earth. All right guys, like I said, I'm gonna be saying this a lot in the video, but this might be the deepest one. Abigail taught me that the negative mindset I've had, that piece of negativity that's been following me around for 10 years, it's my own fault and I've been choosing that whether I wanted to admit it or not. Abigail has put me into situations that were going to be hard. I was going to have to go to work without good sleep. I was going to have to hold a crying baby for eight hours. And she taught me that I have two choices. I can be negative and think to myself, why do bad things always happen to me? Why is this happening to me? Oh, bad things always happen. Or I can choose to be strong and be loving. Okay? The other day, Abigail was screaming for like an hour, and I held her, and I talked to her. While she's screaming, I said, baby, I love you. Daddy's here for you. I got you, because I made that choice. I made the choice to be positive and to be the man that I want to be. Now, for, like I said, 10 to 12, 13 years, I've had... I've said this before, I don't know if you guys will understand, but it feels like there's been a dark cloud following me around. Like even when things are going good, in the back of my mind I'm thinking, okay, when is the next bad thing going to happen? I would think that way, I would feel that way, and I didn't realize that that was a choice I was making myself. Now, bad things are going to come, guys, but you can choose. Are you going to sit there and be negative and wait for them to come? Or are you going to be strong and say, whatever comes, I'll be here, I'm going to survive it, and it'll make me stronger. All right, guys, I could talk about this all day, like I said, but I think I'll end the video there because it's getting long. I hope you guys enjoyed all this real-life English. Hope you got some good shadowing practice and learned some new vocabulary words from my heart to yours. Thank you. I appreciate you being with me. I love every single one of you. Just like I hope you love yourselves. That's an important lesson, guys. Just like the lessons my children taught me. I hope maybe they taught you a little something in this video. Alright, appreciate you. Love you. See you in the next video.