DoctorOz: How to Beat Burnout With Dr. Sanjay Gupta | Blueprint for Balance

Because we're taking on a subject that I'm most passionate about this season. Balance. The question I get all the time is, how can you find balance in your life? And listen, the answer isn't easy because you're being pulled in a million different directions and trying to figure out which takes priority. And you know what? I hear you because I'm trying to find balance in my own life. After all, how can you be healthy if you're not balanced? That's why this show is so important to me. Now, I've asked my audience, all you kind folks participated in this, to be part of a great social experiment. Everybody here has revealed a part of their life that is most Out of balance. We put them all up here on the big board of balance. Whether it's your work or your family, money, health, happiness, they're all in here. They're all important. Some of them have double layers of concerns and some weren't as much of a problem. But even if one, just one of these is out of balance, it can deplete your life, leading to stress and burnout. So today, I'm introducing my blueprint for balance. It's a year-long project that will get your life from burnout. We're going to start by learning to live in the moment and why your brain craves happiness with a neurosurgeon who has actually researched your brain unhappy, Dr. Sanjay Gupta. Then, living in the moment and living life to the fullest. It's not always easy. So today, I've got the five questions, just five, to ask yourself that will lead you to be present and live in the now. And living in the moment is one of the keys to successful relationships, and it's also one of the reasons many will gain. Happy pounds. You know what those are, happy pounds. When you meet somebody, put a little weight on. Well, we're going to tell you how to embrace those happy little love handles. But first, one of my favorite quotes about balance comes from Albert Einstein. Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. So no matter what part of your life is out of balance, it's okay. It really is. By the end of my plan, you'll have the tools, the steps, the insights to help you manage the areas that you need balanced. There she is. It's taking you right there. And I brought in some of the country's top minds to help you out. Work, family, health, happiness. How can you get it all in balance? And what about food, money, love, creativity, connection, and resilience? Spirit, strength, forgiveness. They're all interconnected and need to be in balance too. If you feel like life is pulling you in a million different directions and everything is out of whack, then this is your year. Our season-long initiative, the Blueprint for Balance, starts today. Make this the year you commit to our Blueprint for Balance and get your life from burnout to back on track. And your journey to balance starts with my good friend and colleague, CNN's chief medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta. I love having you on the show. Thanks, buddy. You make me want to become a neurosurgeon. Most important organ. We always have this conversation, the brain or the heart. No, no, no. Without the heart, there's no brain. What's the point? We're all about our hearts. It's the most poetic organ. Anyways, for a different day. Balance. We struggle with it. What does it mean to you? I think for me, you know, and I give it a great deal of thought, I think it really has to do with mindfulness. And what I mean by that is being really present in the moment. We have lots of different things going on in our lives. The struggle becomes when we're doing one thing and we're focused on something else. You took a shower this morning. Did you just feel the water going down your back when you listened to your kids talking? Are you making a mental to-do list thinking about something else? Are you listening and enjoying your kids? Talking, that to me really gives you the balance. You don't feel resentment or guilt about doing one thing. You give it your full attention. Well, we appreciate its importance. You'd think we'd be able to do it, yet it's elusive for all of us. Me, you, in fact, everyone watching probably. Why is it so difficult to achieve balance? We are pulled in so many different directions. We're taking in so much data. Every minute we may be taking in 35 megabytes of data, just as you and I are talking. We're trying to focus on so many different things. Here's the challenge is that when you're doing one thing, if you are truly thinking about something else, you start to have a sense of guilt. You come home, you say, I really should be at the office still. And therefore you start to have some guilt about that. That takes away your balance. It also takes away your happiness. Instead, a lot of times I'll incorporate my young children now into my work. Hey, I did this interesting thing at work today, girls. Well, what do you think about this? As opposed to saying, draw a line between family life. And your work life. I try not to do that anymore. And they love it. I love it. It helps me get my balance. Wonderful statement. You see why I love him so much. Asante is not alone. We have put together arguably the biggest and best thinkers on balance in one place at one time. So let's meet some of my other Blueprint for Balance experts. First off, Oprah just named her the next generation thought leader, Gabriel Bernstein. She started the quiet revolution and is the author of The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Dr. Susan Cain, one of psychology's leading doctors of using food to balance mood, Dr. Drew Ramsey. She's established herself as a rock star leader in meditation, in part because she's a DJ too. Donna DeCruz, and the CEO of the wellness company Happier, Natalie Colgan is joining us. Aren't they a bunch of well-groomed, well-balanced-looking individuals? Thanks for being part of this. I'm going to start with Gabriel. She talks a lot about the issue of overachieving. We're a nation of people who are cramming all the stuff in as much as we can. And yet, trying to do that argues against the very balance that we're trying to show people this year. Right, yeah. Well, true balance has to come from a desire to surrender. And I think we have to face the fact that we're not going to be able to get everything done overnight. We're not going to be able to please everyone or achieve all of our goals immediately. So we have to really let ourselves off the hook and have that desire to surrender and accept that we're not superhuman and we can't do it all at once. And when we accept that, that's when we really begin the pathway to balance. And that balance will create more flow and more peace and more happiness and more health. And that's what we're here for. I feel more balanced already, Gabriel. Susan Cain wrote a book on the power of quiet, right? But how is it we find calm so we can achieve balance? Well, you know, so much of calm, it's not only about techniques like deep breathing. It also comes from a deep emotional place of feeling entitled to be who you are and to take the alone time that you need. So, for example, in my work with introverts, I often tell people... If you know that you have a morning full of business meetings, make sure that you're scheduling a lunch date just with yourself. If you know that you're going to have a weekend of a family reunion, make sure you feel entitled to slip away for a nice read with a long book or to take a long walk. Because the truth is, when we get the alone time we need, that's when we can be most present for the people we love. And you discovered that a lot more of us are actually introverts than we appreciate. Dr. Drew, who apparently was my second-year resident and this morning confided I was not abusive, Sanjay, despite your claims, says, you said we're a nation obsessed with food, and yet food influences mood in many ways and throws our balance off. Yeah, and we're obsessed with the wrong foods, Dr. Oz. We're obsessed with the simple sugars, the refined carbs, the wrong fats, and they throw off our balance. So we're going to help everybody get on the right foods. We're going to put them on the foods that help improve brain function, balance their moods, sharpen their brain, help with mental health. And it's more than just kale. Well, we're going to give them some kale. We're going to give them a little kale. Donny DeCruz is a world-famous disc jockey. The reason she's here is because you know more about work-life balance than most people that I appreciate. And I'd love to hear you share some of your insights. Yes, well, it's actually really important, I think. See, balance is coming off already. People are falling right behind us. Yes. Hold them over. What can I say? I think it's really important. One of the first things I think fundamentally is we have to realize that it's our right to have inner peace, to embrace connection. And we are so caught up in the doingness, in the busyness, that we forget that we are human beings, not human doings. And it's in our beingness that we actually get to express Our spirit, reconnect to our truth and really expand and live the best life we can. And we do that by really coming to stillness, appreciating whether that's through gardening, whether that's through meditation. We come, we sit, we listen, we eavesdrop into that spirit place. And we should be unabashed about that, to embrace that truthful place. I can't wait to see the playlist. Natalie's going to join us a bit later in the show, so I'll let her speak then. And listen, this plan is a real big idea. We're very excited about it. This balance team, and you guys are wonderful to come today, but we've got even more wonderful people out there who are going to, throughout the season, edge us and nudge us in the right direction. Now, to make it easier for you, we worked together to create... The Blueprint for Balance Scorecard. It's what it looks like. It allows you to track your progress on your journey towards balance. Now, as you engage with our tips and insights at each step on the plan, you're going to feel better. I'm going to walk you through it so straightforward. When we come back, we're going to start with Sanjay Gupta. The new science that proves living in the moment is the first step towards balance and a life of happiness. Stay with us. Dr. Sanjay Gupta is back and he's helping me kick off my season-long Blueprint for Balance. And today we're focusing on living in the moment. What does that actually mean to you, living in the moment? And why do you think it's so critical for the kind of balanced challenges we face? Very few people actually do this, living in the moment. And I think it's critical because I think, first of all, it probably makes you a lot better at what you're doing that moment. Sounds obvious, but a lot of people don't realize that. We've come to believe that multitasking actually makes us more efficient. The opposite is true, and in a big way. So actually, when you're living in the moment, you're paying attention to what you're doing and you're able to actually think about other things at the time that you're doing those other things better as a result. So, you know, and by the way, it's professionally and personally. You got to do this with your family and your friends as well. Don't be checking your phone when you're at dinner. Don't be thinking of your mental to-do list when your six-year-old is talking to you. It drives me nuts. And I mean, look, I'm a relatively new dad still, but I think that's one of the most important things. One of the worst things that happens in my family, I fight it all the time, is we get in the car, all of us, and the kids get on their phones. Like they're not in the car. Simple things like that, but they add up to this balance issue. A lot of folks have been asking about happiness. How do you actually know when you're happy? You know, I think it's one of those things that they've described, like, it's hard to really know it, but you know it when you feel it, you know? It means different things to different people. For me, I think it means a life of contentment and purpose. If I go to bed thinking that I accomplished everything that I could accomplish that day, I feel pretty happy about that. Also, I think if I were to ask you, Mehmet, are you happy, and you answered it, and I know that you meant it, then that, you know, these sound like simple things, but that's really it. I also think, you know, we live in a cynical world. I think we need to decrease cynicism. We should be skeptical to some extent of things, but not overly skeptical to the point where it takes away our happiness. We should let go of grudges. Grudges do no good. Grudges are just basically prescriptions for unhappiness. Absolutely. Taking poison and wishing ill on others because it doesn't get you there. It doesn't do anything for you. We're all here on the same planet. We got one life to live. So Sanjay's found scientific proof that living in the moment and achieving happiness is easier than you think. I love this. Take a look. Let me actually quiz you guys because we got some science around some answers that you may not think exist. So for example, how many of you think it's more important to have one best friend or a large group of good friends? Okay, so hands up for folks who like having just one really good friend. All right. That's a good number of people. About half the people, maybe a little more than half. How many folks think it's more important to have lots of really good friends? Interestingly split. So you actually say there's an answer to this question. I think it comes back to the quality over quantity thing. So one best friend is probably going to do you better in terms of your happiness, in terms of your overall life. There's somebody who knows you, somebody who keeps you honest, someone you're going to listen to. Look, having friends is good. I never had a ton of friends, even when I was growing up. But having that one best friend, I think, really made a huge difference for me. Now, that's a little startling to some of you, I know. And I'm not trying to unend the relationships you have, but I got to say, you mentioned earlier, having someone say that they're happy and knowing that it's true means a lot because you can audit it. That's why having someone who's almost like a soulmate is so very critical. In fact, if I have a patient come into my office without someone with them, I will force them to call somebody so I can talk to them on the phone while I'm having their discussion. And if they still can't find anybody, I'll delay the operation. It's how much I'm passionate about this. Delay the operation. Because if you've gotten to 50 years of age and you don't think anyone loves you so much they'd care if you survived heart surgery, we've got to challenge that assumption. I've never failed, never failed at having someone reconnect with someone to be their partner getting through a crisis. Someone loves you. Someone loves you. All right. Ready for one more question? You guys were 50-50 in the last one. I know they're hard. We all have opinions on these things, but when you have science that can educate us, we ought to know it. Okay, I'm going to ask you a question. You think mostly about what you need or what you have? Audience, who thinks mostly about the things they need, the need group? All right, about half. How many think more about what they actually already have? Slightly more, but not a difference. This is actually a trick question. You know the old quiz about whether the glass is half empty or half full? It's the same question. I just phrased it differently. Sanjay and I came up with this way of needling you guys a little bit. Look at that little diagram there. So what we need is actually the glass half empty group. And what we already have is the glass half full group. So challenge yourself, challenge people in your life about how you're perceiving things that are happening that are objectively the same, but we interpret them differently. Now, Sanjay's research has shown that there are real health benefits to being an optimist. Please share them. We know a lot about it. This used to be in the sort of realm of anecdotal, just stories about it. But there's science now, as you say, behind this. If, for example, you're an optimist, you are 50% more likely to not have certain types of heart disease, heart attacks, or stroke. 50%. I mean, there's not a medication or even your talents probably as a heart surgeon that could do that. I do the opposite sometimes. Right? You know what I mean? You're also more likely to have better scores in terms of your blood glucose and your cholesterol. Again, you and I have talked about this. I think we are way over-medicated. The idea of practicing optimism every day as a true therapy for some of these things, it's huge. Isn't this startling, guys? It's something within all of us. We can all do this. And again, you and I both as surgeons are saying this. Slowing down progression of disease. So now you've been diagnosed with the disease, perhaps. It's going to progress at a certain rate, perhaps. What that rate is can be somewhat within your control as well. We release certain feel-good hormones, certain hormones that can help fight types of cancers, can decrease the progression of heart disease simply through optimism. So, you know, those are some of the things. So I realize that as difficult as these topics are, we're putting more and more meat on them. There's one last idea you brought up that I'm going to once again challenge our audience with. It has to do with laughter. You've heard the phrase, laughter is the best medicine, right? But it actually turns out there's some science behind that. I mean, it's unbelievable. Mom was right. Mom was right. So what is it? Well, laughter is the best medicine. First of all, we know what's happening in the body when someone laughs. There was a study that I found fascinating. People who had had a heart attack, and now they're worried about having another heart attack. People who actually laughed regularly, and they would do everything from just making them laugh, showing them sitcoms, making them watch comedy films, whatever it was. Because 42% of the people who did not laugh regularly are more likely to go on to have Existing heart disease again. Eight percent, eight percent. So, you know, one-fifth in the group that actually laughed regularly, the chance of having a second heart attack. So it was really a remarkable study. So one more time, you have one-fifth the chance of having a major heart problem. A second heart attack if you've had one already, one-fifth the chance of having a second one. If you laugh. If you're a regular laugher. That's worth laughing. That's worth laughing. In fact, let's do it right now. Are you up for it? Just, all right, so Sanjay. I'm glad they came up with this idea, but blame me if you don't like it. I'll point out as well, it doesn't matter whether you just saw anything funny or not. Just laughing. I mean, call it fake laughter, call it whatever you want, but I promise you, as we start laughing, you're not going to be able to help yourself. It just comes out. It's in there. Who's nervous about fake laughter? Yeah, there are a couple there. Look at that. They're different, all right. They're kind of yellow. All right, are you ready? I'm going to put this to the test. We're going to, on a count of three, we're going to laugh for three seconds, okay? You're going to start us off? All right. One, two, three. That's great. Cut! You guys actually made me happy. She's still laughing. What happened? Isn't that bizarre? They're still laughing. All right, when you come back, we'll give you the moment. There are five questions you need to ask yourself. You don't want to miss this because you don't want to miss even a minute out of your life. We'll be right back. I hear you. I really do. Your life is pulling you in a million different directions and you're just looking for balance. That's why I'm kicking off my Blueprint for Balance and help you get started. I've got five questions, five questions that can help you be more aware of life as it happens around you. Natalie Cogan's here. She's the CEO of Happier. It's a digital wellness company. Thank you. There are a lot of folks out there, myself included, who said, how can I find balance and quiet when I'm just busy trying to get things done in my life? I'm a working mom, so I can still relate. But the thing that we have to recognize is that being present doesn't mean, you know, sitting in a dark room, you know, meditating. That's one way. Being present is just paying attention to whatever it is you're doing. You know, it could be laundry. It could be chopping vegetables for recipes. It could be stuck in traffic. There's actually studies that show it's less about what you're doing that makes you happy than where your mind is. If you can focus on whatever it is you're doing, you're actually happier that way. Yeah, it takes you to that zen moment. All right, I'll see you in one minute. Great. So what we did was come up with five questions That can help folks, myself included, become more mindful in every situation. I've applied these to my life. They work for me. They will work for you. Question number one, what do I enjoy about this moment? No matter what's happening. Second question, what can I do to help? What can I do to give? Third question, what can I learn from this? The fourth question. How would I like this to happen next time? How do you improve on things? And finally, this actually is a very important one. What is funny about this situation? Some of the craziest things happen and at least you get a good story out of it. Think of it that way. So no matter what negative situation you're in, asking yourself even just one of these questions can turn that negative into a positive. Now that it works for me, I want to test them out with you. So I asked Liz, who's a working mom with a two-year-old, if she could participate. She says she missed milestones in her daughter's life. Life. I've missed first words, first steps, the first time she said mama, the first time she said dada, the first time, you know, she said I love you, all of that because I've been on my phone and recently I was getting Kate ready to go to the park and my phone rang and it was my sister and she wanted to talk and 45 minutes later now we've run out of time to go to the park and I missed fun mommy Kate time because I was distracted by my cell phone. Liz is here. She does not have her two-year-old with her. Thanks for coming so we can talk. I'm actually homesick with a cold today. So when you're with your daughter and that ever-present phone rings, what's your gut reaction? My gut is, don't pick it up. Don't pick it up. Don't pick it up. Don't pick it up. She's two. She could get into, you know, but then it could be work. It could be my mom. It could be my sister. It could be my husband. He works in the evenings. Is he running late? What, you know, is it going to affect our dinner schedule? So I pick it up. And usually it's... You know, something that could probably wait, but I, you know, am on the phone for 45 minutes, and she's often done something great that I've missed, a tumble roll or, you know, first coloring within the lines or something like that, and it's... A moment. A moment. And it's gone. So, Natalie, which of those five questions do you think would best be applied when Liz is trying to juggle all these crazy balls? You know, the thing I would ask myself is... What can I learn from this moment, right? And as you're talking, what I'm thinking about is you can learn you have a choice. You actually have a choice. And as you said, and sometimes the choice is you've got to answer the phone. You know, maybe it's your husband calling. But then be present with that choice. And maybe I'm a working mom as well, so I can so relate to this. My daughter's a little older. But you've made that choice and be okay with it. And sometimes recognize that what you can learn is you have a choice to not answer it and be there with your daughter. And the other thing to think about is What you can learn is Sure. First time walking or coloring within the lines. I remember those moments. They're amazing. But any moment can be really beautiful and special as long as you're there for it. So it could be as simple as, you know, going for a walk with her from one room to the other. I remember doing this with my kiddo. But if you're there and not on the phone and running around, that's actually a really special moment. You have a rule of thumb that I'd love you to share if you don't mind. This is for everybody who's going to make that decision to answer the phone or play with the child. The way I start to think about is two things, focus and honesty. So the first thing I think of is, what is the more important thing I need to focus on right now? And sometimes it's answering the phone. And I'll actually say to my daughter, I'll say, listen, mom has got to take this call. And sometimes it's being with her. And I'll actually sometimes let it go or pick up the phone and say, hey, listen, I'm with my daughter right now. Can I call you back? And just picking one thing to focus and being really honest with yourself and with others about it really helps me kind of be peaceful about that choice. At least you don't have the guilt. What do you think? Could you see yourself asking some of those questions? I could see myself trying to remember through the chaos of having a two-year-old to ask myself those questions and make myself realize, okay, what's more important? You know, if it's important, maybe they'll leave a message and I can check it when I have a second. If it's not important, you know, they won't leave a message and then I didn't miss the moment that could have been so precious to me for the rest of our lives together. What I'm hearing is take the guilt away. What do you do personally to stay balanced? So there's one thing that I do every day that's my favorite thing is I write down three small things that I appreciate about my day and it could be the smallest things you know I had a great cup of coffee this morning or traffic wasn't as bad as I thought or my daughter hugged me when I came home and that simple practice of gratitude you know there's studies that show it's really powerful it helps you be more optimistic more productive helps you sleep better and the thing that I think it makes you realize is that if you're present for the moments in your life then every day even Even the really bad ones can find something good about it. You know what I did over the summer? I slowed my depth down a little bit, which takes a lot of effort on my part. And I started looking, and it happens mostly in uncomfortable situations, what the deeper lesson was there. What are the... tools, what are the ideas that might come out of that experience that I could at least share with others to get something positive out of it. And oftentimes I find these incredible experiences that I would never have been privy to. I wouldn't have paid attention to them because life was going along nicely. In the fast that you can. Yeah, exactly. And you know, when the engine's purring of your life, you don't pay attention to it. When you start hearing clinks and clanks, then paying attention teaches you much more about that whole experience because it's happening to you anyway. Thank you very much. I appreciate both of you being here. Thank you for watching. Don't forget to subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss out. New videos to live the good life.