What My Grandma Taught Me About Raising Kids That We’ve Forgotten

I think my grandma understood something about raising children that we've largely forgotten today. She didn't have a lot of money, and she didn't have the conveniences that we have. She certainly didn't have all the parenting advice that we're bombarded with today, but she knew what mattered. And looking back, there are some things about the way she raised her family that I think we could learn a lot from today. If you're new here, my name is Sherry. I'm a Christian, a wife to my high school sweetheart, and a mom to 10 children. I've been homeschooling for 17 years, and I love encouraging other moms to enjoy their children and make the most of these years at home. Today, I want to share a few things that I've learned from watching my grandma. These aren't things I picked up from a parenting book or a seminar. They are things that I saw lived out in her everyday life. And the older I get, and the longer I raise children of my own, the more I appreciate the wisdom she had. One thing my grandma always understood was that raising children is a full-time job. She used to say, raising kids is a full-time job. If you're not doing it, somebody is. I remember hearing a story about one of my dad's friends who came over to the house one day and they couldn't find my grandma so his friend asked where she was and his friend suggested well maybe she's just not at home and my dad said oh no she's she's always here. She was available, her children knew she was there and that's one of the reasons why she was so loved. Now, my grandma wasn't someone who never did anything outside her home. She had interests. She enjoyed visiting with people, but she understood where her true loyalty was. It was to the people in her home. We have a generation of parents who are allowing quote unquote experts, activities, institutions, and other people to have a tremendous influence on our children. And I sometimes wonder how often parents really stop to think about who they've delegated the raising of their most precious children to. Who is spending the most time with our children? Who is shaping their thinking? Who's teaching them what matters in life? When our kids grow up and look back on their childhood, what will they remember about their family life? Will they remember a home where they spent time together and their parents were available? Or they had conversations and shared ordinary days. Or will they mostly remember being driven from one activity to another? So many families today are doing all the things. Their children are in karate, dance, sports, music lessons, all kinds of activities. And none of these things are bad. They're good things that our children can gain from them. But at the end of the day. I think some families have overlooked one very important thing. They've forgotten to give their children a family life. And this is one of the reasons I'm so thankful for homeschooling. It's allowed us to build a family-first lifestyle. All Our children's education isn't something that takes us away from our family life. It's something that fits into our family life. We learn together. right. We spend time every day reading together. We work together every day as we take care of our home, and we have time for all the ordinary things that make up a childhood. This is really the heart behind my course, Beyond School, the Home Education Breakthrough. I created this because I want to help moms see that education doesn't have to mean bringing school home and trying to recreate everything that happens in the classroom. There is another way to approach it. In the course, I teach you my family-first approach to education. It's a step-by-step model to help you move beyond school at home and to build an education that actually fits your family. If you've ever felt like homeschooling is taking over your home instead of fitting into your family, I'd love for you to check it out. So I'll leave the link below. Another thing my grandma understood was that you simply can't do everything. She lived a very simple life. They didn't have the internet. They had the same car for several years. They lived right in town. I can remember them sitting, my grandma and grandpa, sitting on the front porch in the evenings, watching the traffic go by and waving to people that were walking down the street. They seemed to know everyone in the town. They weren't always looking for something else to do or somewhere else to go. They were content with what they had. And I'm sure there might be people who might have looked at her life and thought it was too simple, but she understood her limitations and she was content to do what she could. One thing I remember her saying was, you do your best and that's the best you can do. And I think that's really good advice for moms. We live in a time when there's so much pressure to give our kids every possible experience. We don't want them to miss out on anything. We feel like we should be exposing them to all of these opportunities and making sure they're getting every advantage. And before we know it, our children are going from one thing to the next, sometimes from early in the morning until late at night. There's no room in the day to just sit quietly, play, think, read a book, or even just be a little bit bored. And I think we've underestimated how important having some space like that in your day is, especially for young children. Young children need unhurried time, and they need to be able to explore and make things use their imaginations, and really to just enjoy being at home. And we need that too as moms. Sometimes I think we make our lives unnecessarily complicated because we're afraid of missing out on something good. I've had to remind myself over and over again through the years, sometimes you have to say no to a good thing so you can say yes to something better. You don't have to give your kids every experience. You don't have to keep up with what everyone else is doing. There is so much value in a simple family life. And sometimes the things that our kids will remember the most are the ordinary things we did together at home. Another thing I appreciate about my grandma is that she understood that a parent was the parent and the child was the child. There was no confusion about that. She was loving. She was available. She really cared about her children, but she also had expectations. And there was a line you knew not to cross. She wasn't a pushover. I think sometimes we get the idea that being a warm, responsive mom means always accommodating our children and explaining ourselves or making sure they're happy with every decision we make. But those things aren't the same. You can be a very loving mother and still have boundaries. You can be firm. You can listen to your children, care about their feelings without allowing them to be in charge of the home. Children need parents who are willing to lead them. They need boundaries and correction. And they need to know that someone older and wiser is taking responsibility for their upbringing. I think one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the security of knowing that they don't have to be the ones in charge. This is something we have to be intentional about in our homes, especially when we're homeschooling. We're spending so much time together. There are plenty of opportunities for disagreements and resistance to doing what needs to be done. But every instruction shouldn't be a negotiation. We can be kind and patient. While still expecting our children to obey and respect us, my grandma understood that she didn't confuse love with letting her children do whatever they wanted. The last thing I want to share is probably the most important. My grandma understood that she needed the Lord's help to do her job well. I remember every morning after the dishes were washed, the kitchen was cleaned up, She had started the laundry. She would sit down with her Bible. She understood that she had a soul as well as a body, and she made time to care for her soul. I think sometimes as mothers, especially when we're busy raising our kids and caring for a home, we can get so caught up in taking care of everybody else that we neglect the most important part of ourselves. We make sure that everyone's fed and the children have what they need. But what about our own souls? There's a verse in Jeremiah that says, Your words were found, and I ate them, and your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart. God's word feeds our souls. I love that picture of God's word giving joy and peace. I think my grandma understood where true joy comes from. It doesn't come from having a perfect home or even well-behaved children or having everything go according to plan. True joy comes from the Lord. There's a quote from George Mueller that I love. He said, above all things, see to it that your souls are happy in the Lord. And I think that's such good advice for moms. Do you long for more peace or joy? Do you want more contentment in your work? I don't think the answer is always to change our circumstances or find a better system for managing our home. It's amazing how contentment can give us so much more capacity. We're always reaching for things, wanting to change this, fix this. But when we just stop and be content with what we have, All of a sudden, everything opens up and it seems like we're able to do more just simply by being content with what God's given us. My grandma taught me that we are not simply a body with a soul. We're a soul with a body and our souls are eternal. And that's what makes it a worthy investment. I think this is especially important for those of us who are at home with our children day after day. There are days when the work feels endless and nobody notices when we clean the bathroom again this week and we finish jobs just to do them all over again and you wonder if any of it is making a difference. But when our hearts are grounded in the Lord, we have a source of strength and joy that doesn't depend on how our day is going. We can continue doing the work in front of us because we're doing it for Him. Now, I know my grandma isn't the only woman out there with wisdom and experience. I'd love to hear from you. What lessons have you learned from your grandma? What has she passed down to you? Things that our generation needs to hear today. Share it in the comments. We've been having some great homeschooling days here this fall. This week, we went to a volleyball tournament, which you're going to see in a few minutes. But we've also been reading some really great books. In the morning, I'm reading Hamlet from Tales from Shakespeare to the Kids. We're finishing up the Melody series with Spiderweb for two. I'm finishing up Winnie the Pooh with my kindergartner. And we've been reading Patrick Henry's speech, The War Inevitable. We've been memorizing some poems from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Christina Rossetti. The kids have been loving their co-op classes. I recently got out some more of our Thanksgiving books that I like to read every year, so that's always fun for us as well. When I look back at my grandma's life, I think what made her such a wonderful mother was that she understood a few simple things that I think we've made much more complicated today. She put her family first. She knew she couldn't do everything, she understood that children needed loving but firm parents, and she knew she needed the Lord's help every single day. I think those are things we could all use a little more of today. Thanks for watching. I do one video a week on homeschooling encouragement for everyday moms. I'll see you next week.