Funny Animal Voiceovers (2026)

I couldn't help but notice you've got a pretty big sandwich on your plate there, the size of a football. Gonna be pretty hard to eat all that on your own, probably. Yeah, pretty hard to eat all that on your own, probably. If only you had a friend. If only you had a friend you could split that with. Probably make the situation on your plate there a little less stressful, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well if you require my services, I'll be staring at you from right over here. What is it now? What is it now? What is it now? What is it now? I'm starting to speak now. This grass is so buoyant. It's trampoline grass. Back up. I'll give you the Rocky Balboa. Bow or one, two. This grass is fantastic. It's perfect. I think right over there is where I'll put the fountain. This is the best day ever. I love this grass. He's He's drowning. Well, it's a ball, not a he. So, I don't think it can drown. No, it's definitely a he. You can tell. Well, it's a ball. The edges. Nope. The way it's kind of round. It's a ball. On the side. And then it curves a little bit. You're kind of just describing a ball right now. Yeah, it's definitely, yeah, you can tell. Yeah, I don't know that it's a ball. Hold on, I think he's trying to say something. Dude, just... Tell me his name. Yeah, we should probably get you checked out. I feel like you hear a lot of voices. It's Enrique. And then that's... Iglesias. Iglesias. I think we can save him. Yeah, at this point, I figure I'm just going to go get another ball. But I'm going to need your help. I'm not helping you. You're going to have to trust me. I think I'm good. Thanks. We're going to have to sing him back to life. He's cooked. I love you, I love you, I love you. You wanna know what his last words were? Can I just go and get another ball now? You can take my breath away. Oh boy, now's his last breath. I had no idea you were such a big and wimpy fan. You need help with that, mate? Uh, let me see, this could be tricky. Uh, it's on the technique, really. I met a guy in Reno once, used to crack these babies all day. He took me under his wing, actually, showed me his ways. Why don't you go do your business? Mate, why don't you go breathe down someone else's neck? Well, what in the hell's kitchen is this? Uh, that don't look good. Kinda looks like I got left in the oven a bit too long. Would you pull this from Satan's fridge? Yep, that's demonic. Great, gonna have to call a priest to perform an exorcism on me now. And don't stop. You know, people can say what they want about Tom Cruise, but the Mission Impossibles are just too good. That's my hot take for the day. Hey! Okay, you may have busted me for grabbing the fungans, but that fart was not me. Okay, maybe it was me, but it's only cause I'm nervous. That's perfectly natural! Yeah, ever since my brother became the Dragon Warrior, no one seems to care about him anymore, you know? Yeah, it's just kind of frustrating. You know, I said Skadoosh one time when we were kids, and now it's like his whole brand, you know? Look, he acts like he came up with it, and now I'm not! I'm just talking a little bit! You know, originally it wasn't even Skadoosh, it was actually Skadoodoo. And then one time when I was taking Skadoodoo, I said Skadoosh. Anyways, now he's a dragon warrior and everyone loves him, so he ain't that nice. You're not even my real dad. What are you even talking about? Look at you, you don't even look anything like me. You are my son. Dude, you're like three freaking weeks. Watch your mouth. I'm a small fry off the dollar menu. That's how it works, when you're a baby, you're small, then you grow up and become Big and strong like your papi. My real dad's probably small fry, just like me, but you probably ain't. That's it, I'm over it. Cheryl, the boy lost his mind. You people probably ate my whole freaking family, you sick freaks. What do you got there? That's a good bite. We'll be right back. Sorry, I thought I smelled something buzzing there for a second, but... Oh, yeah, yeah, it smelled just like that. I'm starting to speak now. I almost just threw up. That was very real. What are you doing with the other hand? Because one second I'm smelling a Bosco stick, and the next second I know I'm getting a slimy raccoon turd stuffed in my mouth. Without my consent, by the way. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. Didn't even have my mouth open that time. That was definitely illegal. You're under arrest. Y'all will be hearing from my lawyer. Did my words make a man lie? Though I tried not to hurt you. I tried. But I guess that's why they say every road. She broke up with you six months ago and still... I do, chaps. Just shut up! Okay, toss it. Not even close. All right, maybe to me next time? Nope? Okay. Please tell me they're sending somebody. There it is. Golly. No sports when you're a kid, huh? All right, buddy. Hang on. Yeah, I was actually thinking of doing a kickflip, but since you said that, maybe I'll just hang on. Keep it simple. Come on. Let's get your fat ass out of here. I'm sorry. Excuse me? Mr. I never played catch with Dad when I was a kid, and I'm kind of resentful of it, so now I body shame raccoons in my spare time? Hmm? You know, you may have never caught the ball, but you certainly did catch him. Some unresolved childhood trauma. That's not real. You know, this kind of reminds me of that one scene from Ace Ventura when the raccoon's, like, hanging for his life. Now I'm scared. Come on! Friggin' Cirque du Soleil on a Tuesday, huh? Who would've saw it coming, you know? Usually save these kind of performances for the weekends, but... I made a special exception just for you, so... You can send me a check. I'm not gonna sweat it right now. You know, I'm gonna miss this. Hanging out, me and you. Boys being bullies. Get down from there. What? You don't wanna go get lunch or something? You just wanna throw me away just like that? Get down. Okay, dude! Ah! Oh, there's that childhood trauma we talked about. Gary! I can't see, you're blocking me. Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't tell. All I can focus on right now is my ribcage compressing and my airflow decreasing Gary! Yelling's not gonna fix it. Yeah, we're stuck! Are you okay? No, I'm not okay. Gary! Okay, so how about you get away from me! What is this? Gary! What? Why is there a hole in the ceiling? Uh, I don't know. Bolts! You there! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing here? This is private property. You got any identification on you? Hey, he's good. I let him in. What? Why? I don't know. He seemed nice. Oh, good. He's nice. Security breach! Who's watching? The Three Eyes. You excited for the game Sunday? Girl, that's my money's on them. You a gambling man? Yeah, I'm not much of a gambler myself. I'll steal a couple of sports bikes every now and then. You know, football, basketball, baseball. The other football. Tennis, hockey, handball, rugby, ping pong, swimming, sailing, curling, chess, rowing, kayaking. some slots here and there You know, usual suspects. Well, it depends if Jerry's in my backfield, though. He's a little angry right now. I bought a few of his things so I could place twenty his 20-pick parlay on the Broncos last month. Tell you what, he's not going to be too upset when we're stepping on the Bahama Mamas in the Bahamas because of all my winning You know, when you're actually trying to go pick out a Christmas tree, it isn't exactly what it is. It should look like a silly bunny tree, you know, like Hot Cocoa, stuff like that. There's a blue spruce, maybe a pine, I have no idea what color it might be. I think this is going to look really nice with the fireplace though. What kind of vibe are we going for this year? Like a classic Christmas? or like a modern Pinterest vibe or something But you know, some people try a little too hard when you need them. You know you don't have to go and reinvent the wheel. Oh you know what I would do if I were you? Instead of ornaments, I would just hang them with the dog trees from the tree. That would be a little fun, TikTok for sure. Not just hanging a little dog, you know, I just think it's a really good idea. Now, this year is one of the best packages on the market now. You got the 20-inch rims, heated seats, and cooled. In case your tuck is getting a little swampy. I know mine does. We've been at this all day. Daryl, look. Ready? Look. Really? It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. It's a good tour. What are you thinking? You want to order pizza tonight? Good night. I can practically taste it now. You're not one of the freaks like the panoply on pizza, are you? I'm not trying to judge or anything. You know, just don't think you've got it right in the head if you are. That's all. Jesse, cows look good, but old Terry got tapped. I tried to help him up, but that boy a whole day walking big back. That boy caught some gravitational pull. That boy a whole metric ton of what on God's green earth was you eating. That boy feel like he ate 700 Rob Gronkowski's. He found a bunch of Gronks and he just ate them. You picking up from what I'm putting down? Good. Now call the Avengers to go pick Terry up, because he is down. What? I love you. This will be here in a moment. Round 2. See you, boo! Ooh, you like that? Yeah, you probably do like that, you freak! I call me Catty-Chan! Were you just recording me that entire time? What is wrong with you? You want to see a magic trick? Please do. You already want me to sneer. Here we go. One, two. I don't actually know any magic tricks. Sorry, no refunds. You are all here to be entertained. Is that it? Are we but mere pawns in your sick game? Ah, Gary! To be entertained, is that it? Are we but mere pawns in your sick game? Yeah, no, that's fine. I feel like I was trying to do something, trying to start a revolution, trying to do something that matters for once. Kevin! I don't even know how I'm going to get back in there. I can't jump up there, okay? I'm more of a leaper. Off cliffs and edges and stuff. It just goes down. Gravity does most of the work. You know, if I had some water, I could get some pretty good momentum. I could probably do, like, a flip or something, too. I could probably do, like, a double flip or something. I don't know. I just want to let you know we're all out of TP in the downstairs bathroom. I left the oven on. You might as well play! Paco, why don't y'all move like you're a bunch of flightless birds? Wait, can you guys fly? I can't fly, can you fly? I saw my cousin fly once. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. We were at the top of a cliff and he flew all the way down. When was the last time you saw your cousin fly? When he was flying. Yeah, okay, we can stop talking about this. Mom! I love this show. Hey, can anyone ever tell you? You make a better door than a window. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? It's the snack for my TV time. You just hate to see someone else having fun without you. Is that what it is? Well, guess what? I'm running away. What are you going to do about that? Get out snacks. Can't have a car. This has to be it. Bacon. What's that? I'm good. I was on window duty protecting the family from burgers and bacon. I mean, burglars and mailmen. You know how it is. You see that guy over there? Babe, I think he's filming us. He's probably just taking a selfie. No, he definitely is. He's filming us. Hey, buddy, why don't you take a picture? We'll last longer. Oh, right. He's taking a video. Now he sounds stupid. Sorry, never mind. That doesn't really apply here, I guess. But stop filming us. It's weird. And I was like, what the heck? Sorry, hold on. I made a dog on the outside, but they ain't told me to come inside like two seconds later. I said, dad, I've been outside for like two seconds. He said, no, you haven't. You've been outside for like two hours. Time to come in. I said, you know what? You win this round. I don't understand the concept of time anyways. I'm just a dog. Oh, you know what I do understand? Being upset. And I was, so I made doo-doo in the living room. Yes, I can feel it. Maximum power. Minions, fetch me my scooty boots mobile. Yes, Gary, the Toyota Camry. Thank you. Hey, have you guys seen Sally anywhere? Oh my gosh, the cows are eating Sally. Man. Let me get you off the wagon again. Yeah, she smells like a White Claw and regret. Hey Sally. I love you. I still love you. Are we eating beef now? What? No, that's not beef, that's Sally. Oh, you know Sally's not beef. Oh, because we are, Bill. All right, you're a cow. I'm not sure if you do that, bud. You know, calling me fat hurts my feelings. Goodness gracious. No? Anybody? Come on. Boo. Okay, all right, tough crowd. How about this one? She had a million bucks and when she died, it came to me, I get over here and look at it, I said I only want a beer, yeah. Are we in the Blowfish? Are you serious? I don't even know what that is. I mean, this is nuts. Worst crowd. Okay, okay, all right, all right, all right. If I don't win you over with this next one, then I don't even know. Oh, my God. Dude, he's not dying. And I'm saying, like, you're going to have to go to a freaking hair doctor or something. Okay, here we go. Please don't. Where the hell is my old boss? Please stop. Under the sunlight. It's the worst day of my life. Welcome to... Okay, alright, you know what? I'm done. No, I'm done. No taste. No taste. No class. Sickening, honestly. And especially from you, Stevens. I just, I expected a little more support from you. What did I do? I didn't even say anything. Well, you know, I think it was the lack of saying anything. That's, you know, that's what hurt the most. I just want to show them we're on back near Dozer. That's when I thought maybe it was a call of a game, but turns out I didn't want an extra cat trying to hide behind a dozer. He was digging his claws out and greasing himself up so he'd be more agile and elusive. Yep. That's when I heard a family feud turned back on the telly, so I had to run back inside and eat my soup or watch some feud. But it turned out my meatloaf was called John Doe, so I had to re-eat my meatloaf for a third time. And my limit is four. It's a good thing I don't have to do it a third time. My limit is four. Oh, hey, man. Come join me, man. Mmm. It's called grounding, man. Mindful sun exposure. It's good for your inner being. You gotta soak in while you can. Pretty soon, it's gonna be winter. It's gonna be more depressing than ordering chicken nuggets from McDonald's and they forgot sweet and sour sauce. But it's, like, too late now because by the time you check the bag, it's like you already drove off from the drive-thru and you don't want to turn back now because you feel silly now. Mega bummer, man. And... Mmmmmmmmm. Mom! What do you want? I'm not even... We're not even doing anything. Gosh, why are you in my room? I mean, if you can seriously right now, you're embarrassing me. Please just leave. Oh, my gosh. Are the pizza rolls ready? No. Then what are you doing? Hey, Brody. Woo, woo, woo, woo. Good to see you, Professor What is on the staff menu list today? I'm sorry. I'm doing an improv class over at the Beacon right now. All right, well, it was good to see you. Yeah, no, I'll just take that. Hey, what is wrong with you? Huh? Illegal food market's got you stressed, little squirrely. It's not my problem. Don't take that out on me, bro. Talk to me and go ew. Oh, ew, wait. You don't have to do that. It's gross. It's weird enough having a banana pug, okay? You don't need to peel my banana, too. People are watching. Yeah, okay, you're done. Thank you. You're a racist. Don't look at me while I do this. Uh, boy, we busted. I thought I told you to shut the blinds. It just feels a little bit depressing with the blinds shut. I don't like it. We're gonna have to find a new secret meeting spot now, Tim. Do you think that they can see us? I don't know, champ. Hard eye contact, taking a video of us. Yeah, I'd say it's a safe bet. I don't wanna find a new spot. This one's nice and warm. We can take the heating lamp with us, Tim, okay? It's fine. Oh, okay. Good. Pipsqueak! You want a piece of this? No. You want a slice of the pie? Come and get it. No, I don't want a slice of the pie. Huh? Hey, leave the guy alone. He didn't do anything. You looked at me first. I also looked at him. You got a problem, Enrique? My name is actually Christopher. Stay out of this, chum nuts. Well, Chris, if you want to shorten it. Shut up, cupcake. If you are a threat to me or my family, I will eliminate that threat. Literally no one is a threat to you at the moment. In other words, I'm going to hurt you real bad. I didn't have to explain that. I think that was obvious. This is my tree. Anybody encroach on my tree, I will encroach upon you with pain. I got it! Right there! Okay. I'm about to freak out. You're playing with me. I mean, I don't care. Kelby! Dinner's ready! One shot! You're making me want to bite a kiss. Mom's spaghetti! Time out. Graham. Gotcha! HELLBERRY! What are you gonna do with your food now, man? You got a pizza or something? A pizza? Wait. Please. Stop right there. Proceed no more. They're going to be so pissed at me over at Headquarters. Three wild boars and a robot. Spotted late last night, running through town. They're going to have my bolt once they find out about this. I'll be scrubbing corked bodies with Steven until next update. It ain't that bad, man. Just take it one scrub at a time. I would rather not. Please, return at once. It is the doo-doo duty for me, then. Hey! What you call a dog that can do magic? Elabra-cadabra-doe. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, you. That's my friend Steve. He tells me a new dad joke or recites a pun that he read off Google every day. And even if I don't think it's funny, I always laugh. And that's okay, because I know that it makes him happy. Hey, you want to hear one more? I'd rather gouge my eyes out, Steve. I just feel like people have been treating me differently lately. You know, as if there's something on my face. At least I have the decency to tell me to my face that something's on my face. You know what I mean? Much cowards. There's nothing on my face, right? You tell me. You know, Brian said it's the new haircut, but that doesn't make any sense. All I asked for was a trim, so, rolls that out. Hey, Mark, how's that woodworking project coming along? I mean, it's a mouthful, you know. Wonderful. I didn't hear a single word you said. Hey, Susie, you doing good in school? Yeah. Oh, that's wonderful. I don't know what school is, but I heard it's important. Hey, Jerry, stop looking at me or I will bite you. Alright. Alright. Hey, have you guys seen the mailman recently? I just got something to tell him. No, I just wanna say something. I'm not gonna do nothing crazy, okay? Well, first of all, that's profiling, alright? Alright, now here's my feelings. Anybody need any fresh fertilizer, let me know. I know a guy. That's just wrong. Hey, Sarah, why don't you put a cork in it, okay? I ain't gonna take any heat from the lady who dyes her poodle a different color combination every other week, all right? That would make me smile. Ah. Ah. What am I doing again? Oh, right. Find the princess, get her to kiss me. Become human again. With consent, of course. Not that kind of frog. But what if she doesn't like me? Or worse, what if she already has a frog? What if she's in a frog monogamy? Phrenogamy. Oh, my gosh. It is inside. I'm going for it. A little bit threw me off. What is, what do we know, when, why, now? I'm starting to speak now. Rescued hundreds of shining tennis balls before, but this one just feels different. You've maybe got one like three before, and usually we just give up and get a new one, so. I'm telling you, man, something doesn't feel right about this one. We gotta call for backup, but I bought that Chihuahua from across the street. What are you, crazy? Come on, man, this is serious. Hey, just tell us something bad was gonna happen, and look. It did. Incredible. I can save thousands. No. Millions. Goodness gracious. Just picture it. Me. Flying high. Protecting the city. Just adding extra superpowers now. Saving millions of tennis balls from their untimely demise. That's what you would do with your superpowers? You'd save tennis balls? Well, I could save other things too, I guess. I just feel like that's a better use of my time, you know? Yeah, a true hero. It's a bird. A plane. No. It's Ballman. Oh, you made me think of a different name. It's Ballboy. Oh, help me. It's Good Boy. Ballman Boy. Oh! What do you think? I've been working on my superhero entrance. I was thinking, monkey man, for like a name. Well, I keep hearing I'm not a monkey. I'm technically an ape or something. I don't know, I don't see that phrase. We could talk, same time next week? Tony's putting his port ticket to the game desk! There's something wrong with that NPC back there. Can you enhance my superhero entrance? It's a very strange thing to do. And I'm off. I have official monkey business to attend to. Even though I'm technically not a monkey, you're getting an update. Monkey man! A rare sighting of a golden retriever in his natural habitat. Some toes. As you can see, he's a very docile creature. What are you doing? I'm doing a documentary about him. No, I mean, like, why are you talking like that? Oh, because this is the voice for all good animal documentaries. He goes in for the kill, dude, stop, and then releases gas, dude, thanks, alright, tap me up, oh, you got another one, alright, cool, so you checked out my boy, alright, tap me up, I gotta scram, another one, where do you keep pulling these from, alright, I really gotta go, tap me up, what in the David Blaine, dude, just tap me up, oh my. I'm just getting out of here. If you're gonna jack me up or what, okay? I got a place to be. Don't leave me hanging. Listen up, everybody. There's a new- Dude, hold it still. Sorry, I'm sorry. There's a new head honcho in town, so you got a problem? Take it up with me. Yeah, yeah, man. No, dude, y'all smell. I'm head honcho. Yeah, okay, that's all right. You're just a guy. Sorry, everybody. I'm just a guy. Dude, shut up. Sorry, I'm just a guy. I know. I'm the freaking one who said that. Sorry. Sorry. SHIT HIP! Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Don't let me in the grocery store no more. Especially me and him on Thursday. Make sure no strangers break in. Greatest of the year, you gotta go get a Ricky Bobby. I'm fast, but I ain't fast enough. If you ain't first, you're last. So I drink a half a liter of Mountain Dew in the morning to Ricky Bobby. Some people drink coffee, and that's cool, but I drink Morning Dew to Ricky Bobby. If there was a recommended dose of Mountain Dew in the morning, I'd absolutely quit toppling that at the very least to Ricky Bomb it. Can I get everybody's attention, please? There is a 2003 Toyota Camry blocking me on the road. I would like to leave, I'd like to go home. I can only party on the lake for so long. So if you are the owner of... Oh my god. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I thought you said that Bronx was starting! I told you it was fine earlier when I was on it! Oh, good. Now you're calling me ****! Sorry. Excuse me. You guys might want to clear out of here. I just laid the lumber back there. It's sickening, to be honest. I have no idea what I ate yesterday, but it is clearly not processing well! Wow. Wow. Hide the children! Hey, do you think maybe I could dig for a little pet? I just feel like you've been digging for a little... I just feel like we could switch, but I just, I don't want you to get too tired. Oh, no, it's okay. I don't want you to get your paws all dirty or something, so that's okay. I don't mind. What do you think? I've been working on my superhero entrance. I was thinking monkey man. It's like a name. Well, though, I keep hearing I'm not a monkey. I'm technically an ape or something. I don't know. I don't see that freaking difference. I'm crying. Can I talk same time next week? Somebody's putting this party ticket to the game desk. There's something wrong with that NPC back there. I didn't even acknowledge my superhero entrance. It's a very tragic thing to do. And I'm off. I have official monkey business to attend to. Even though I'm technically not a monkey. You're getting an update. Monkey man! I didn't even acknowledge my superhero entrance. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing this. I'm using my donut for this. This is a dirty job. Yes! I can feel it! Maximum power! Minions! Fetch me my scooty boots mobile! I don't know. Yes, Gary, the dog took care of me. Thank you. Fetch me my scooty boots. Yes! Yes! Yes. What in the crow could I have done to you sis? Have you guys seen Sally anywhere? Oh my gosh, the cows are eating Sally. Man. Let me get her off the wagon again. Yeah, she smells like a White Claw in regret. Hey, Sally. I love you. Hi, silly. Are we eating beef now? What? No, that's not beef. That's Sally. Oh, you know Sally's not beef. Oh, well, because we are, Bill. All right, you're a cow. I'm not sure if you do that, but. You know, calling me fat hurts my feelings. Goodness gracious. Oh, you know Sally's not beef. Yeah, he knows how he's not a babe. How am I doing this? Oh, you know Shaggy's not brave, brave. Colts! You there! Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. What are you doing here? This is a private property. You got any identification on you, huh? Hey! Why oh good. He's nice He's nice. SECURITY RAGE! Just... Nuts... What's up with the name of these nuts? You got any identification on you? You got any identification on you? I don't know. What? Security breach! That's it wonderful for now