3 Days Alone in the Remote Canadian Wilderness

At the start of this year, I set a goal for myself to go backcountry camping alone for the first time. When I moved to the mountains three years ago, the thought of camping by myself scared the ******* ---- out of me. Honestly, it still does. But as the year progressed, solo camping stopped feeling like something I want to do and started feeling like something I need to do. So for the next three days, I'll be venturing 10 kilometers into the remote Canadian wilderness, home to bears, cougars, and all sorts of wildlife. A place with no designated campground and no cell reception. Just me and my thoughts. About 20 minutes into this trail, the pack is definitely heavy, but to be fair I did pack a lot more than I usually do just to be safe, make sure I got everything. And it just passed an old man who actually did the trail that I'm doing. He started at 1am and he was telling me that there were definitely signs of bears in the area, so not the first thing you want to hear. But we're still going to keep going. The plan is hike four kilometers today and get to this beautiful meadow that I've always wanted to camp at and hopefully we get a killer sunrise there tomorrow and then hike the remaining 7k to the spot that the old man was talking about I don't know what I'm talking about. and then set up camp there for night two. So that's the plan and I'm going to stick to it. to do it. Yeah, let's do this thing. Adventure begins. Okay so there's this beautiful stream running through the meadow here and I've been trying to find a way to cross it for the past 20 minutes but it's been pretty deep. But I just found a spot here where it narrows out and I'm gonna jump across because I feel like I found a really cool shot with the river as a leading line so I'm gonna try and snap that right now. Yeah it's really cool being out here because I... I've been out here multiple times and I've always looked at certain shots and certain locations to go see and visit and just like explore and I just haven't you know. I've either been like passing through or something like that so it's gonna be really fun to just explore for the rest of the day. But like come on this is absolutely insane. It's crazy that I get to call this my backyard, my home. Yeah definitely grateful for that. Okay so the light is getting pretty nice and I just found this really cool frame. Right here, these two trees framing the peak in the back. What a cool mountain. I love the reds and the yellows in front too. Just absolutely beautiful. Come on! Like how do we not just like... What are we doing sitting in front of just like computers and spreadsheets all day? And this is what it's about, you know? This is what... This is my happy place. So I'm glad to be out here and let's go find camp. All right, so it is dinner time and... I'm learning that I packed a ridiculous amount of food like uh maybe I like subconsciously packed for like two people but there's a ton of food here like it almost doesn't even fit in the bear bin let me show you um so this is where we're at right now she's almost stuffed to the brim but I still have these all this stuff and then uh my noodles are they're cooking right now so kind of yeah I don't know I mean I haven't really eaten today so I have to have a good dinner but this is an incredible amount of food so I don't know I do love to eat I love to eat in the back country it's one of my favorite things to do I mean it's one of my favorite things to do period but uh food just tastes better out here I fine so so good honestly today has been incredible so far like it is so beautiful out here it's actually crazy that you can do this type of stuff for free um but yeah I don't know I feel like in many ways this is like exactly what I needed I know I kind of alluded to that at the beginning of this video, but I haven't given you too much context. But yeah, truthfully, for the past two years, I have really, really struggled with self-confidence and self-love and self-acceptance. And yeah, obviously that's weighed a lot on me mentally, and it's also not just affected me, but it's also affected my relationships, particularly my relationship with my partner. And, yeah, it's just like been a constant cycle of like overthinking, you know, and indecision and, yeah, lack of self-trust and, I don't know, it's manifested in me not knowing what I want to do with my career and not committing to a direction and, yeah, just like really just beating myself up mentally. And in a lot of ways this trip was meant to be Proof, like a way of building proof that I can take care of myself and that I can do hard things and that I can step into the unknown and thrive and come out on the other side. So, yeah, I think it's been that even just until this point. I'm excited to see what the next day holds because I'm going a little bit further into the backcountry. But, yeah, honestly. It's just, like, really exhausting to have your mind constantly getting in the way, you know? That's something that I'm desperately trying to change, and, yeah, you're capable of so much more than you think. I feel like the mind always makes it out to be worse than it actually is, you know? You know? So, I don't know, I just wanted to share that, because if you're struggling with anything similar to what I have over the past couple years, then I just want you to know that you're not alone, and... And, um... Yeah, sometimes it's worth doing things like this, pushing your comfort zone so that you can grow. And I know that's cliche, but it's the truth. So, yeah, just reflecting. I think that's what the mountains do to me. They make me reflect in a beautiful way. That's why I love coming out here. Obviously, it can be daunting to be out here alone, but it's also incredibly peaceful. Like, so, so peaceful. useful. That's one thing I'm loving about it so far. And yeah, that's it for me. The sun is up. Let's go. Look at this. What a morning. We're getting the glow here on the peaks behind me, as you can see, and wow, this place is beautiful. What a morning. Bring you up here, show the view. This is where I slept last night. This is my home. So last night was definitely cold, but it honestly wasn't as cold as I thought it was going to be. So that's a plus. It was also super bright last night. It like literally felt like somebody was shining a light into my tent, but it was obviously just the moon. And I remember like peeking my head out a couple of times and looking at the view and you could see everything like perfectly. It was like kind of wild. So that was really cool. But yeah, I'm just like trying to finish up my oatmeal right here. And I did my morning routine. So I like to wake up and drink water first thing in the morning. And then I like to do some gratitude journaling. So I'll write down like three to four things that I'm grateful for every day. And then after that, I do like a 10-minute meditation. And that's something I've started recently. And honestly, it's been, I think it's been really helpful so far. And it's something I'm excited to like practice more going forward. For someone like me who has such a busy mind, I think it's going to really just like do wonders. Yeah I did that out here and like what a friggin place to do it you know. So today's trail is definitely more rugged than yesterday's trail. It's a bit more like off the beaten path. Not a lot of people do this hike. I have to cross the river I suspect. I guess we'll kind of find out you know. So I'm gonna finish my oatmeal and then pack up and then hit the road. Let's go. Okay so I'm a bit more alert on this section of the trail. It's far less traveled. A lot more overgrown as you can tell already and yeah for whatever reason I was up a couple hours before sunrise this morning and my mind just latched on to the idea of a bear encounter. I don't know why the mind does that sometimes, thinks of worst case scenarios but for whatever reason mine did this morning. So yeah just going to kind of stay alert, make my presence known and enjoy this beautiful hike. So yeah looks like we're coming up on the first river crossing now. Okay so we got a bit of an outfit change here as you can see. It's starting to heat up. I couldn't ask for better weather. If the only thing I got to deal with is some cold evenings then that's a gosh darn good day. It's windy but we made it baby. Let's go! Oh damn. Okay now I gotta find a camping spot. Honestly can't even tell you how happy I am to have this. After three failed attempts at setting up camp higher in elevation I decided to settle on this spot. One kilometre back in the direction I came from. Here, there was far less wind. For now, anyways. This was my first real test of adversity, and I'm glad it didn't end up worse than a broken mic and a lost stuff sack. Because for a second there, I thought I was about to lose the only shelter I have for the night. All right guys, I gotta tell you, gassed. My legs are so sore, and yeah, kind of just taking it easy. We're settling, settled at camp, and obviously this wasn't my first choice of campsite, but this place is beautiful, you know? We still are right next to the river, got this beautiful waterfall in behind, if you can see that, and then this peak behind me, which is the view that I'll wake up to in the morning, is unreal, so definitely no complaints, yeah, just a small hiccup. You know, maybe that was mother nature trying to test me, you know, she knew I came on this thing trying to push my comfort zone and she was like, okay, I'm going to throw something your way just to test you a little bit. And maybe that's what it was. So, but yeah, we prevailed. We've set up camp in a new spot. It's far less windy. That wind was insane earlier. So I'm glad that that's over with. Yeah, settled. Going to try to set a fire later when it gets a little bit darker. But yeah, it's cozying up right now. After fueling up for the evening, I took some time to catch up on a book I've been reading. Green Lights by Matthew McConaughey. In his words, a green light is an affirmation of our way, a sign that we're on the right path. Sometimes they're obvious, other times not so much. For a moment, they may appear red or yellow, but eventually they turn green. In other words, the struggles you're facing now will likely make more sense later, which is something I've been trying to hold onto as I navigate this rather dicey season of my life. You can never really know when the red light will turn green You just have to trust that it will. It's pretty windy tonight as you can tell. Feels like my tent is just gonna completely cave in on itself. So it's kind of hard to sleep. I get woken up whenever the tent gets just bombarded with wind but it's all right. One more night out here and then we're back in a cozy bed. This is actually insane. Like I feel like I'm about to blow away. Pretty sure the left side of my tent is No longer... like structurally sound, so I might have to get out of here and fix that because I can't sleep like this. There's no way. I gotta deal with this. I was hoping the rest of this story would kind of just write itself. An epic sunrise and a clear hike out to make the night of suffering worth it. But instead, I woke up to snow, cold and groggy from no more than two hours of sleep. But looking back on the past few days, I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride. I did it. I did the thing that scared me for over three years and came out the other side. I guess I can take care of myself. That voice inside my head was wrong. And for the first time in a long time, I feel free. Still uncertain about my direction, but no longer in a rush to figure it out. Just curious to see where it goes. Green light.