China’s Leftover Women: No Limits—Steal Best Friends’ Husbands, Stop Luxury Cars, Hit on Rich Men

Aren't I your best friend? Yes. What? I'm your best friend, and you're trying to steal my husband? When did I ever try to steal your husband? There's an old joke. Protect yourself from fires, thieves, and even your best friends. These days, that joke seems all too real. Some older single women see friends with similar backgrounds marry into wealth and enjoy comfortable lives. Jealousy can overwhelm their sense of right and wrong, and even close friendships fall apart over the competition for money and status. For some unmarried women, marrying rich and securing a comfortable future has become the ultimate goal. On city streets across China, some go as far as to stop luxury cars and follow their owners, hoping to meet a wealthy man. One vlogger filmed a bizarre encounter. He and his friends drove a sports car to a night market late at night. As soon as they parked, a woman on a scooter approached. She admired the car loudly and began following them everywhere. The group politely hinted that she should leave and even split up to lose her. But she kept following, asking, so who am I supposed to follow? They explained that they were married with children. What she said next was even more bizarre. She asked a vlogger to save his middle school son for her and introduce them someday. Even more outrageous, after visiting the night market, the group returned to find the woman waiting beside their sports car. She even asked whether they had been waiting for her. Her persistence reflects a desire to find a shortcut to wealth, even at the expense of personal boundaries and basic courtesy. A similar encounter took place in Sanya, a popular tourist destination. Two men drove a Ferrari to a local night market and were approached by a woman. We've arrived at the Liwan Night Market, one of the most popular spots in Sanya. Let's find somewhere to park. Bro, look at that girl up ahead. She's pretty cute. She's coming over. Hey handsome, is this your car? Yeah. Want to get to know each other? Sure. Hey handsome, are you here on vacation? I came with a buddy you just saw. Wanna hang out together? Sure, are all the women in Sanya this forward? Mostly because you're handsome. And while you're traveling, having fun is what matters. You can't be this carefree back home. She then suggested traveling together and going for a drive. She even invited him over to see her cat that can do backflips. How far will some women go to avoid spending another 20 years working? A young man from a wealthy family shared his experience. He had earned both his bachelor's and master's degrees in the United States before returning to China to take over the family business. He moved into a prestigious luxury residential complex in Shanghai. No matter the season or weather, he noticed several carefully dressed young women jogging or strolling outside. They wore trendy schoolgirl-style skirts, sailor outfits, and stylish boots or loafers. He later learned that dating influencers online were teaching women to stage chance encounters outside luxury complexes. They would dress up for a morning jog, then approach men driving expensive cars alone. Many women apparently followed this advice and showed up every day. Out of boredom, he went on several dates with one of these women, but he knew the strategy and stayed cautious. She repeatedly hinted that she wanted to see his home, even asking, what does your complex look like inside? I'd really love to see it. He never took her home or even let her through the front gate. Behind these bizarre street counters is the intense marriage anxiety, facing 100 million older single women in China. Do you know why cities have so many older single women? It's simple. The maid refuses to marry a farmhand. She wants the rich young master, but he only wants to have fun with her. Then he marries a woman from his own social class. Meanwhile, the maid grows older, still imagining some powerful CEO is coming to sweep her off her feet. In the end, even the farmhand doesn't want her. One user described a mismatch in the marriage market. Women in rural areas often seek husbands in towns or counties, while women in towns want men in cities. City women also want city men, but there are not enough eligible urban men to meet that demand. The result is many older single men in rural areas and older single women in cities. They're like parallel lines that never meet. They cannot marry up, don't want to marry down, and are dissatisfied with someone at the same level. Years of unrealistic advice online and consumer marketing have also encouraged some women to set extraordinary standards for potential husbands. My ideal husband is someone who can give me 200,000 in pocket money every month. My ideal husband would give me 200,000 yuan a month in spending money, wash my feet, and massage my back after work every day, and give my parents another 100,000 yuan for retirement. That sounds less like an ideal partner and more like an unrealistic fantasy. Mom, I want a man with a government job who makes 1 million yuan a year. What do you think? You'd better hurry. You're not the only one looking for him. The anti-corruption inspectors are too. With 1.4 billion people, why is finding a partner so hard? Are all the good men just unavailable? Money circulates all the time, but that doesn't make you rich. Back in school, you only had four choices on multiple choice questions, and you still got them wrong. Just admit you can't find anyone. Honestly, I just want someone to support me. I just don't want to work anymore. Every woman wants an A7 man. What's that? A man with assets in the seven figures. Why are they so popular? In this economy, ordinary people can't even get close to an A8 man, someone with eight-figure assets. So everyone chases A7 men. In Zhengzhou, one could have hundreds or even thousands of women pursuing him. One woman even posted a rigid checklist online. Her future boyfriend had to be at least 6'1", an only child, emotionally stable, and focused on her. He needed at least a master's degree from China's prestigious Project 211 University, a civil service or public institution job, and parents employed in the government system who could provide substantial financial support. She also demanded a bride price of at least 1.9 million yuan, or 265,000 US dollars. One user sarcastically responded that a man meeting those specifications would be best custom-ordered from a factory, where she could even adjust the manufacturing tolerances. But dreams are one thing, and reality is another. As China's economic downturn deepens in 2026, and men wake up from the pressures of everyday life, the perceived value of older, highly educated, high-income women in the marriage market is falling sharply. Here's what the matchmaking corner in Qingdao looks like now. Women used to choose the men. Today, there are plenty of single women, and men are doing the choosing. Some men say no one over 35, no one whose parents lack pensions, no teachers or nurses, and no women who financially support their younger brothers at all costs. Do you think their demands are unreasonable? The dating market in Chengdu is intense. Women, women, women. Look, they're all women. More women. Nothing but women. It's hilarious. As soon as a young man shows up, all the parents crowd around him. Eligible young men are incredibly popular right now. At matchmaking corners in major cities, parents of accomplished older single women are finding that the market has shifted against their daughters. My daughter is a department director at a public institution and a senior engineer. Ma'am, we work in matchmaking. We know that the more accomplished a woman is, the harder finding a partner can become. She has an ideal husband in mind. Given her height, weight, and education, the man she imagined is at the very top of the pyramid. Men like that have no shortage of women around them. If she won't relax her standards, she won't find anyone. I suggest a man around her age who looks decent but earns less. She could be selective about looks and height, but she'll need to compromise on income. Some men have also developed a strong reluctance to date older unmarried women, framing it as a matter of protecting their finances and future. I'd rather marry a divorced woman than an older woman who's never been married. If she's 35 and still single, there must be something wrong. Stay away. First, instead of choosing between love and money, she wants money from the man she dates. Second, the longer you know her, the more you realize age is her smallest problem. Third, think about it. Would a really good dish be left untouched? They're impossible to please. Look at their hobbies. Cosmetic treatments, traditional culture, travel, designer handbags, they all cost money. Dating these women is like looking for gold in a garbage dump or drinking from a filthy ditch. These harsh words carry strong prejudice against an entire group, yet they reveal the financial risks many men fear. In their view, many single men in their 30s still pursue expensive lifestyles, spending beyond what their modest incomes or families can afford. After years of searching for a partner, they have lost the willingness to share hardships and build a future together. Instead, they approach men with suspicion and financial calculations. Women who have been through a failed marriage often know better how to appreciate and contribute to a relationship. They seek a stable, practical life. Older single women, however, may feel a deep gap between their expectations and reality. Even if they reluctantly marry at 35, they may still feel disappointed and wronged. This incompatibility is driving more men to avoid older single women in the matchmaking market. With both sides cautious and calculating, matchmaking in China's major cities can become an exhausting cycle of suspicion. Men and women struggle to move beyond mutual distrust. In Shanghai, both men and women struggle to find partners because they're stuck in a loop. A woman wants a dependable man for a serious relationship. But when she meets a successful man, she worries he only wants something casual. So she expects him to take the initiative and invest more, proving his serious and making her feel secure. What about the man? He wants someone who likes him for who he is, someone dependable, who wants to build a good life together. Many men have been financially deceived by women they dated when they were younger, so they're cautious. He wants mutual affection, not a chase. He wants time to see her character and decide whether a serious relationship makes sense. But then he notices she keeps checking whether he spends money on her and how expensive their meals are. He worries about being used, so he holds onto his wallet. She sees that and thinks, he's so cheap, he won't spend money. He must only want something casual. And then the cycle continues. Why? Because some men and women really do exploit people financially when dating. Ordinary people end up paying the price. This combination of suspicion and financial calculation leaves many older single women trapped in ongoing uncertainty and anxiety about marriage. In Suzhou, Wuxi, and Changzhou, many accomplished single women over 35 may end up alone. According to statistics, Wuxi alone has more than 800,000 older single women, including over 500,000 above 35. Many have high expectations. They dated successful men when they were younger, but kept holding out for someone better. Reality is harsh. I've worked in matchmaking for years, And successful men also have strict standards. No matter how attractive or accomplished you are, once you're over 30, many won't even meet you. Men from well-off families are especially unlikely to have parents who approve of them marrying a woman over 35. It's painful, but that's the reality we have to accept. Finding a partner is so hard, even harder than making money. I'm starting to think I may never get married. I've been looking for years with no result, and I'm exhausted. If this continues, I feel like my mental health will suffer. I'm about to get sick. I can't take it anymore. But right now, I have to stay strong and wait for my prince charming. I'd rather stay single than compromise. For some older single women, this reflects a painful contradiction. They feel exhausted and anxious about their romantic prospects, yet still cling to online advice, promising that the perfect wealthy partner will eventually appear. Marriage has never been a business deal where one side can set the price and expect a guaranteed return. With China's property boom fading and the economy weakening in 2026, everyone faces changing expectations in the marriage market, from a 24-year-old government employee to women who approach luxury car owners on the street or boast about their advantages online. Time may force a difficult reassessment.