The Full Life Crew: What is Mental Attraction in Marriage?

The real question is this, are we living a full life? Are we making the right decisions when it comes to children, marriage, work, faith, and so many more issues we deal with daily? How can we know with confidence we are living a full life? Welcome to the Full Life Crew Podcast. We are your host and life coaches, Jareth and Deborah Navarro. We will help you find the confidence in those critical areas of your life. Our goal is to help you bring to your family the support, structure, and providence we all desire so we can live the life we want to live, a complete life, a joyful life. We are so glad you are here. Now let's get started. Hey, welcome and thank you for tuning into the podcast. I am Jareth. And I'm Deborah. And we are the original founders of the Full Life Crew. If you don't know who we are, we are a family of 10. We have a YouTube channel and many other social platforms, Facebook, social media. You can follow us on any of those platforms. We are a social media influencing marketing company. And this podcast is kind of the serious part of what we do. This podcast also is in conjunction with a blog and a blog post. So if you hear something or see something you like, you can also find more information on our blog post about this particular topic. And we're going to jump right into this topic. Oh wait, you know what? Maybe we should remind them our last series was on parenting. That's right. Our last series was on parenting. You can find that also on the podcast and in our blog. At www.fulllifecrew.com forward slash blog forward slash blog under parenting. Yes. We also have, if you just put in Full Life Crew, Full Life Crew forward slash podcast. Our podcasts are on there. We're also on Anchor. We're on iHeartRadio. We're on Stitcher. We're everywhere. And you can actually, if you own a business or you're trying to get your message or product, you can actually sponsor one of these podcasts. And yeah, you can do that through visiting our website at www.fulllifecrew.com. And our last podcast was tips on marriage foundation. Yeah. The foundation of a successful marriage. So today we're going to move on and we're going to talk about the benefits of being mentally attracted to your partner. Not physically. Mentally. Got to use that old brain. See, I made you laugh. I'm mentally making you laugh. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and it's important that couples go into such a relationship with the right mindset. You know, when you consider marriage, many people focus on strictly physical attraction first, but there's nothing wrong with that. I mean. Well, no, you need to be physically attracted. I mean, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to be honest, I did not know Wranglers made jeans without pockets. Hey, they did. And guess what? I'm here today. And you got me rubbernecking. Well, that, that was the, you know, but Hey, you know, every honeybee sees a pretty flower and that's how, that's how it gets its pollen. That's true. Usually, usually there's a physical attraction first. And once, once the physical attraction is there, then you, then you move on to the mentally attraction. Yeah. So you got to have a strong mental connection with your partner. And that is far more important than physical attraction, especially longterm. And we can vouch for this because we've been married for 20 going on 23 years. Yes. Yeah. Now we are not certified marriage counselors by any, by any means, but we have eight kids. We run and operate two businesses and we've been married for 23 years and we work together almost daily. So we feel pretty qualified on what we do, uh, as far as being a married couple. And so we feel pretty confident in just sharing our story and our tips and our tricks. And hopefully you can find some value in these things. So let's talk about what does it mean to be mentally attracted? What does it mean to be mentally attracted? It means to me that I understand you as a person. Are you mentally attracted to me? I am very mentally attracted to you. Why? Because I understand you as a person. Like I under, maybe not all the time, but I understand, um, I kind of understand when you're, when you're sad, um, when you're on the brink of, I'm fixing to lose it. Um, and we can have the debates. We can talk about things that maybe would upset some people, like as far as like, if they were not in a good relationship, well, you know, mental attraction to me is the ability to connect with your partner on an emotional level, to understand them on a deeper level than a physical attraction allows. You know, it's, it's like, you know, I understand, I understand you too also. Like I know your signals. I know when you're happy. I know when you're sad, you know, when I'm stressed, I know when you're stressed, I know how to push your buttons. I know you like, basically like I know myself. I agree, but that doesn't come with, Oh, you're pretty today. That comes with understanding and knowing your partner at a deeper level. Yeah. I think there's certain things that we discuss that you, you agree with me a hundred percent, but then there's certain things that you don't, that you disagree with me on. Yes. You know, and, and I think it's that, that we are, we can be honest with each other in a safe environment. So in other words, you know, you see out there in social media and you see on the news, people like, you know, you don't understand me, you don't respect me. And I think what it really means to be mentally attracted to somebody is you can have those, those conversations that are on the cuff or off the cuff, but at the same time, I totally respect where you're coming from. And I appreciate the way you think about it. You may not always agree with it, but you're not gonna like belittle me and tell me that's so wrong. You know, like you're going to, you know, discuss things with me. It's almost like I've, sometimes when we, when we go down that road and we're discussing things like that, I find it fun and intriguing and exciting to have those conversations with you. I mean, I find out your feelings, you find out my feelings and... Sorry. And the, you know, the, probably you have to have that mental attraction, but to take it a step further, you have to, there's an importance of that mental attraction. But before we jump into that, we need to thank our sponsor. Have you ever dreamed of owning your own business? Maybe you thought about franchises, but weren't quite sure which one's right for you. Well, let me tell you a little bit about Tiki. 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So let's talk about the importance of mental, the importance of mental attraction. Being mentally attracted to someone means you're able to appreciate their thoughts, their ideas, their opinions without judgment or criticism. This type of admiration for another one builds trust between the two people and it allows for better communication when disagreements arise. Plus all couples will face issues during their marriage and if you've already established a strong mental connection prior to this, lifelong commitment, negative difficult times together become easier because it's already easier to understand between partners. And I think this brings us to a story. Storytime. So a lot of people don't know this, but me and Debra, in 2011, we lost a child. So if we had lost a child in our first three years of marriage, our marriage probably could have ended. Yeah. I don't think we had the mental understanding of each other quite yet. It was a new, we were still newly married. It was still very rocky at times. So I think the stress of that and then me having certain feelings and you having certain feelings, I think either both of us would have, you know, either pushed the other one away or placed blame on the other one. And if you haven't heard the purple clothes basket story, that's in the podcast before this one. So you know, to understand me better, you'd have to go back and listen to the purple clothes basket story. But if we would have lost a child in the first five years of our marriage, I would have probably put blame on Debra. That's just the way my mindset was when we first were married. I was not in the proper place to be, to be married. But we ended up losing a child 11 years into our marriage and by that time we had already been through many trials and tribulations. Yeah. We had four kids already. Four kids already. And not all of them were great, easy pregnancies. Even the first one was really tough. Yeah. And we'd had other setbacks and other challenges in life. And we were able to talk about these things and work through these things. But then to go back to when we first met and we were dating, we had similar values as far as our faith. We had similar values as far as our likes and dislikes. We had similar values in what we'd like to do and not like to do. And that I would equate to a mental connection. Because at first it was, hey, she's cute. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I knew he's cute. Yeah. And, but over time it became more of a friendship. Yes. You know. And there's that strong mental connection that we had. And I would say that for most of the later part of my high school years, you were not only my girlfriend, you were my best friend. Yeah. And the reason, the reason I say best friend is because I would confide in you when I was struggling. Right. And I would, I would confide in you too. I have to say that you've been my best friend for a long time. And I feel that the mental connection has put us there. And when we did lose our child in 2011, there was a lot of other external factors that were, you know, that was always pushing against us. So without me and you having that connection like we did, we were able to make it through that. Yeah. Marriage is tough already. You know, because two people are trying to raise a family. You're trying to fund a family. So there's a lot of external pressure. And then you're trying to find your way, like you and your spouse finding your way to raise your family without others trying to say, hey, you need to do it this way. You need to do it that way. So without that mental connection, you know, it's like you kind of were on the same boat. Yeah. I think you bring up a good point. Like all that external pressure. I wouldn't take that information and then like try to, how do you say that, coerce you. Yeah. We would discuss these things. Right. There was always a discussion. Always a discussion. Even to this day, like if I leave and I got to go do something, within like four minutes I'm calling you. I even call you after I go do the task. Like if I go do the task, the task is done. There's no reason for me to call you. There is no reason for me to call you. I've done the task. I did what I went to. I set out to do, but then I'll just pick up the phone and call you because I just want to. You're like, hey. Hey. I finished it. I'm like, okay. So where are you at? Well, I'm almost home. Okay. I find it funny sometimes. Why? Because it's like you'll be gone for five minutes and you're like, hey, I'm done. I'm coming home. I'm like, okay. Do you find that annoying or do you appreciate that? No, I do not find it annoying. I appreciate it a whole lot. No, I like it when you call me. I don't know what it is. I just feel like, like, I think what it is, is I do the same thing though. I know you do. And I think what it is in our previous podcast, we talked about the foundations of a marriage and being on the same goal and we work together every day. So when I go out to do a task, I'm not just doing a task for me, I'm doing a task maybe for the business. I'm doing a task to help you. I'm doing a task, maybe that like today we fed the basketball team. So I had to go deliver the food, you know, you know, all these little things are like we're on the same team, right? You know, and that's important to be on the same team. So additionally, mental attraction basically provides couples with a much needed foundation, especially for creating a life together as a team and working together as a team is very important throughout your marriage. Working together as a team will be very important throughout your marriage journey, whether it's working through financial struggles or raising children together, having an understanding of each other's thought process is going to make those tasks a whole lot easier. Plus focusing on building up this mental connection before you get married can help create a solid foundation for the years ahead. Like we talked about in our podcast before this one, having a strong foundation. You know, I guess to sum it up is physical attraction isn't everything. It's important. I mean, I want you to feel like I'm attractive. Well, yes, and I want to make sure I'm still attractive for you. Yeah. So, you know, that it's important, but it's not as important as that mental connection because let's face it, we are not supermodels. No, we're not supermodels. And the days just keep ticking by. The years keep going. I'm not getting any younger. I mean, beauty fades. So yes, but mentally, what do you mean? Beauty fades maybe for you, but not for me. No, I mean, as you get older, I agree. I guess what I'm trying to say is having mental chemistry between us or with the listeners, with their partners out there, allows for open communication, which basically helps create trust. Yes. And I think trust and being able to communicate is kind of our key. That's like our thing. Would you agree? I agree. And if we didn't have that mental connection, we wouldn't be able to discuss things like we do. I've always wondered, why don't we fight like most married couples fight? And I think it's because we're always talking to each other. That is true. We're always talking to each other. All the time. You have to, you have to, you have to keep communication. Yeah. And I think the reason we talk to each other all the time is because deep down, we're really mentally attracted to each other. I have to agree 100% with you on that. Oh yeah? Yeah. I enjoy talking to you. Yes. I think it goes back to when we were younger and we would talk on the phone. All hours of the night? And we would basically talk till we fell asleep on the phone. Yeah. The only way you can talk and talk that much and that long on the phone, you have to mentally be engaged with that person. So I guess the real tip is separate yourselves if you're married now or if you're young and you're thinking, can you talk for hours on the phone? There was a movie. What was that movie? There was a movie. Oh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie. And they basically called each other and they were in the same, they were in two different rooms but in the same house. Oh yeah? I don't remember that. You remember? You do remember what I'm talking about? Well, you do know me and movies, right? Yeah, you fall asleep. I fall asleep. Yeah. But anyway, there was a movie and these two, this couple were struggling. And basically what they did was, oh no, it wasn't a movie. It was a Resident Alien. Oh gosh, I don't even remember that one. Yeah, it was an episode on Resident Alien. And they were talking about this very thing we were talking about. And so what ended up happening was he was in another room. She was in the kitchen. And so he called her on the phone. And they spent like four or five hours in the same house but in two separate rooms talking on the phone like they were talking back in high school. I must have fell asleep in that episode. And anyway, they mentally reconnected and in that episode they were having some marital issues. Yeah. So when they mentally reconnected, it helped solve the physical problems they were having and the marriage problems they were having. Yeah. So I guess the secret is talk on the phone. I'll call you. If you enjoyed this podcast and learned something or picked up a tip or a trip, we want to thank you for listening. We ask you to share it and remember while you're out there doing your best trying to live your absolute best life, remember, life's a journey. Enjoy the ride. Did you enjoy the podcast? Would you like to sponsor a podcast? If you're looking to advertise your brand product or message, our platforms are the best place to do it. We reach a large and engaging audience and we can help you get your message out there. If you want to learn more about how you can advertise with us, visit us at thefulllifecrew.com forward slash shop. So thank you once again for listening and tuning into our podcast. And just remember, while you're out there trying to live your absolute best full life, life's a journey. Enjoy the ride.