What If Hogwarts Had A Podcast? | Short Film 🎙️✨

Welcome to our first recorded roundtable. Ground rules. Wands remain on the table. Zero ministry oversight. And absolutely no hexes under the desk. Today, we confront seven years of dreadful survival instincts. And naturally, we begin in third year. Draco, by the clock tower. Ah, straight to the moment, the brightest witch of her age committed an unprovoked violent felony against an innocent, distinguished student. Innocent? Mate, you cried to your father over a bloody scratch. She gave you the reality check Dumbledore was too polite to deliver. Though your form was astrocious, Hermione, pure muggle boxing, I would use an open palm stinging hex, but full marks for psychological damage. You broke my nose, Granger. But if we're dissecting weaknesses, that was the exact afternoon I realized your intellect wasn't your only dangerous weapon. Speaking of bad instincts, first year. We were eleven years old, playing lethal wizard chess and dropping through trap-doos. Looking back, why didn't we just find an adult? Because you have a clinical urge to be the martyr, Harry. If a tower is burning, you dive through the window just to see if your scar tingles. It wasn't bravery, Ron. It was sheer terror disguised as Gryffindor stubbornness. I just prayed Hermione had read the right chapter in time. I wasn't playing games, Ginny. I was running out of time. You saw an arrogant boy holding a blood purity grudge. In reality, I was sixteen, trapped in a house overrun by monsters, tasked with an execution. Every night in that room of Riddermaken, I knew if I failed, my mother was dead. I tracked you on the Marauder's Map every night. I thought you were scheming. I didn't understand until the bathroom duel that you were drowning. Cruelty was my armor. If anyone saw how terrified I was, there would have been nothing left to salvage. Fear makes people vicious, Draco. But surviving when you're trapped takes an endurance no one prepares you for. Still can't believe I'm breathing the same air as a Malfoy without reaching for my wand. But fair play, mate. It took guts to show up today. Ron, don't. Thank you, Ronald. Ronald, I've thrilled my impeccable diction doesn't completely overwhelm your delicate sensibilities. Don't push your luck, Malfoy. Next episode, we're diving into Quidditch scandals and who actually cheated during the Eula Ball afterparty. And I believe Granger has a few unanswered questions about what occurred in the restricted section that evening. That wraps up episode one. Tell us in the comments which year we should expose next. And don't forget to subscribe.