Billie Eilish's Journey Through the Highs and Lows of Fame

It was such a reoccurring topic for so long, which was like, why are your songs so sad? Fame freaks you out a little bit? Bro, of course it does. It's terrifying. I was so unhappy last year. I was so unhappy and I was so, like, joyless. There was a very long period where I was not doing well. And I mean, it's true. I know a lot of artists that aren't doing well either because this ---- is hard. But I think then I didn't realize how good it could also be. I kind of was lost in my own head, in my own, like, darkness, I guess. And I didn't think any of this would be worth it. Navigating the complexities of youth is a topic that is relatable to most. But when you add in the elements of fame into the mix, we now drift into a territory that very few will ever experience. All we have to sink our teeth into are the tragic stories of all the musicians and entertainers that fall victim to a world that, on one hand, presents them with the access and opportunities to live out their wildest dreams, but on the other, makes them very vulnerable and susceptible to temptation that taints even the purest of souls. Billie Eilish, perhaps one of the most accomplished artists of all time, is an interesting case study of how an artist can successfully navigate the complications of fame and youth if they are surrounded by the right people. When she turned 13, it was kind of the first time I sort of thought it might be appropriate to to start kind of working with her. At 13, she really had like a defined taste. Billie Eilish bursted onto the scene at 13 when her and her older brother Phineas's breathtaking collaboration, Ocean Eyes, took on a life of its own. I think within about a week, it had a thousand streams, which is not many now, but it was a lot then. Just stuff was just changing really fast. And I'd never really seen anything like that. And it was alarming. The duo created the song Ocean Eyes and uploaded the song to SoundCloud to be reviewed by a choreographer they were working with at the time. And once it was uploaded to SoundCloud, it took off quickly. Billie didn't have much time to process it before becoming an Internet sensation. No way to know what to do when you get this kind of thing. Like there's no you can't be prepared for this. You don't know how to deal with it. It's impossible to know at all. And I feel like everybody who's who's gotten to to have this kind of experience that I'm going through right now is like just trying to figuring figure it out for themselves and see what works best for them. Eilish had to play catch up as Eilish learned how to perfect the dance and try not to lose herself within the madness of early popularity. She found herself wrestling with her thoughts and emotions that at the surface produced a quality of music that was unprecedented for an artist of her age. But also it exposed her to a wide range of problems. You always need someone or something, and so many people don't have that. And I luckily had music. If I didn't have music, I don't. Everything would be so bad. Problems that could either stun her growth and potential or propel her forward. When an artist is that talented and young, everyone wants something from them. And not all of it is genuine. A lot of it is exploitative and draining. It presents itself as a trap many artists find themselves in when they are young. And when these artists don't make it out the trap, they are discarded to be labeled by the world as a fall from grace or what could have been fixtured when it is simply because they weren't nurtured or protected. The cycle starts kind of like how Billie's did. Eilish had to grow up in the public eye and deal with a complicated range of emotions, and the nature of the profession left her joyless for many years. It all was because I was actually clinically depressed. That was the beginning of it. But then on top of it was this fame that I didn't want at the time. People seem to forget that when you are a child and a teenager, emotion is the most intense thing in the world. Everything feels like the end or the beginning. If it hadn't been for Eilish's extremely supportive family dynamic, we may not be looking at Billie as the 23 year old superstar that we know now, but maybe as another cautionary tale of how abusive fame in the music industry can be. However, fate had a different outcome for Billie. Right after Ocean Eyes came out, I got injured in dance. Music really came in handy for me and got me through all of that. There's a lot of advantages to being young, especially in this kind of like place I'm in, I guess. If you do something when you're really young, that's impressive. It's way more impressive to people that are older. But it's like if you're talented, you're talented no matter how old you are. I wish everybody had their own way of expression because I have music and I have a lot of things actually that really are important to me. And music especially is my way of expressing myself and just everything that I do. And I feel like a lot of people go through the same things I do, but don't have a way of getting it out, which I think is stressful. Eilish's family nurtured her gifts and allowed her to be free. Their main priority as a family was to cultivate Eilish's interests and creativity. The outcome produced an immense talent. Eilish's vocal capabilities and strong ear for melody and harmony was almost innate to her. All of her life, Billie was given the freedom to explore. So it was only a natural progression that she would constantly seek out evolution in her life and in her music. To be honest, it gets harder and harder just to experiment. I'm not a person who gets scared easily, but there are a lot of things that are ******* terrifying about where I'm at right now. I just want to get out there and get known and not not known that like, oh, I just want to be more famous. It's not that at all. It's literally I want more people to know me so that they can feel me and relate to me and be me. Eilish was only ever interested in making art that made her fans think and feel. When Eilish dreaded touring for the longest due to its exhausting nature, music was her only outlet of expression. Eilish always loved performing and connecting with her fans, even when touring wasn't an enjoyable experience. And Eilish always encouraged her fans to find their expression as well. Eilish doesn't consider herself a role model, which I get because it comes with unnecessary pressure to live up to an idea that at times is unrealistic. But even at Eilish's lowest points, she always considered her fans first. That my relationship to the fans has been so vital to all of this. And I think like what you do for them and how you make them feel is what's going to be the most impactful and rewarding for you and for them. Many artists and celebrity figures become prisoners to their fame as it becomes very restrictive. And Eilish struggled with being a massive star because it complicated her life. All Eilish wanted to do was record, perform and connect with her fans and family without the monstrosity of fame keeping her trapped. Fame can be lonely. It can be a constant and monotonous cycle of obligations, work and disconnection. Fame can also destroy your personal relationships. And as it causes such an overwhelming effect on one's personal life, when that person leaves their house every day, they still have to be a music superstar. They still are Billie Eilish. Social media. Instagram is social media. Reddit is social media. Like, dude, the Internet is the worst. I mean, like I the Internet created, like made me at this place. So it's like I'm thankful for that. But it's like, dude, that place is poison. Yeah, poison. Nobody does anything real anymore. Not the 23 year old human with emotions and real life problems. But Billie Eilish, the music superstar. Depression is a constant action of suppressing who you really are to meet the needs and standards of society and other people. As a music superstar, you are always measured by how much you give to others. Your life, your music and your story is to be offered to the world. I wrote music because I had a lot on my mind and I didn't know how to say it really. And like, I feel like I felt like I didn't have the right words to say it. Or I didn't I didn't know how to say it without sounding just wrong. And I didn't know if anyone would understand. So I just wrote it all down. I remember at the beginning, there was all these labels and radio people that wouldn't play me because I was too sad and no one was going to relate to it. That was just funny to me because I was like, everybody has felt sad. When do they get a time to just be, to exist, to be present? Billie was always so much in her head. And this is a gift and a curse. Eilish was able to pull out these unique visions from her imagination to bridge the connection between so many people that could identify with her and relate to her. However, she was also more prone to anxiety and depression. What kept Billie grounded was the fans, her family and her friends. Her mother, father and frequent collaborator and older brother, Phineas, were her support group. It didn't matter how famous Eilish got. She stuck to a formula that worked for her. For the majority of Eilish's career, she is recorded in her brother's bedroom. And in this room, she was the most comfortable sharing her truth. The emotional depth and thoughtfulness in her music is almost unimaginable for a person of Billie's age. But with great maturity and introspection comes with the heaviest of emotions that have to be processed in a healthy manner along the way. I don't want to make money if it means being someone I don't want to be. I've always known what I want, but sometimes knowing what you want so clearly is torture. Like the thoughts of loving something or someone that is destroying you or the thoughts of existence and the fear she would succumb to an early demise. But I genuinely didn't think I would like make it to like 17. But I'm a die one day, so it doesn't really matter, to be honest. But everything, nothing matters, dude. Like, that's like what I say about everything. Like, I think some stuff matters. Love matters. Matters while you're there, but eventually you're dying and then nothing matters and whatever. Like, but meaning is what you create. I'm not going to we're not going to get into a Nietzschean argument here, but all we can do is try to create the meaning that we have in front of us. No, you're right. Yeah, I just think the fact that I'm going to die one day and that everyone around me is going to die and no one will remember me after a certain point makes me feel so good. Like because I could do the best thing in the world and nobody would remember it ever and I'll die and it won't matter. And everyone else around me will die and it won't matter. Or I could do the worst thing in the world and that won't matter because I'll die eventually. So specific period of time where I was just like in this like this like pit of just like hopelessness about myself because I didn't have much to look up to in terms of girls like me. Being in that, you know, looked at, taken seriously in that in that regard. Billie began to trust herself more. A lot of the negative thoughts she had earlier in her career began to dissipate. I also believe Eilish was so ahead of the curve and so ahead of people her own age, it felt like she was alone for the majority of her career. And that isolating feeling, I believe, robbed her of her peace of mind. I believe she's finally at a point where her artistic growth and success is on par with her overall happiness. I didn't think it was fun. I wasn't enjoying it. And more recently, I've actually like become happy again. And I know that sounds stupid, but like it doesn't. It's just been a year filled with friendship, which honestly, even though I was saying a lot of things that I want to do, that was the real that was like the thing that I wanted to do. I can't believe the way my life has gone and where it is now.