DoctorOz: The Signs Dr. Oz Missed That His Mom Has Alzheimer's

And what I love the most about this show is that we always tell you the truth. So I'm going to start the season with the most personal show I have ever done. Now this year, I'm asking you to share your stories in your own words, because I believe that the power of one powers us all. And if I'm asking that of you, I have to be willing to share my own story. So today, my truth. My mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. And even though I'm a doctor, and I do this show every day, I fear I may have missed some of the signs. I don't fear it. I know it. Now I'm letting you in on this deeply personal story in the hopes that you will know what to do for someone that you love. Take a look. Hi, Mom. Matt Pearson. Nestleson. What did you eat today? But what was the food you ate? Ice cream? You remember the ice cream? She remembered she had ice cream, but she wasn't sure what else she ate, which is a problem because she just ate a couple hours ago. A couple months ago, I got news that hit me like a gut punch. My mom has Alzheimer's. The doctors who told me, Where's confidence you could be? Even though her son, me, had missed the clues completely. Mom was special. All moms are special, but my mom had a remarkable ability to deal with me. I was not an easy kid. I think both my parents were proud of me. My father never told me. My mother always told me. And I got absolutely an unadulterated love from my mom at every level of my existence. I loved having my mom on the show, but in the beginning, I didn't know what we'd talk about. And she actually Skyped in from Turkey, and she was a hit. Inhale all the fresh air, and I feel very well. Well, you look beautiful, Mom. I love you. Thanks for coming on. Thank you very much for inviting me. I must tell you, though, I love your show. She came out on the show as recently as two and a half years ago. Completely coherent. I have to say, thank you very, very much. You're such a good nurse. Thank you as well. And especially you. Mom, my sister just sent me a video that I think demonstrates that anybody you recognize, she has a big problem. Hi, Mommy. Hi, love. What are you doing? I am making up my face, so I wait to get prettier, more prettier and prettier. And then I will go with my mom. She says she's going with her mom, who died from Alzheimer's. But you can see why, as a caregiver, I get worried. Because I can't let my mom make decisions if she thinks she's talking to my grandmother. This picture, I think, is the best reflection of what Alzheimer's can do to you. You can see how beautiful my mom's eyes are, but she's not processing what she's seeing like she used to. This is a painful picture to look at, because my mom doesn't remember Daphne anymore. Gosh, they had a good time together. I think anyone who has a parent with Alzheimer's has a bunch of conflicting emotions. One, you're upset and sad at the loss of your parent, but also you're wondering if you're seeing your own future. So you're worried about that as well. He's grateful for the days that he has now that she recognizes who he is, because that's not going to last. I call my mom almost every day, only for one reason. I know I'm not going to cure her. I'm calling her to tell her I love her. All right, Mom, I love you. I'll call you again tomorrow. I want to share this journey with you, because in learning, there is teaching. I asked my good friend Maria Shriver to be here today, because she has walked in these shoes. Her own father, one of the greatest Americans and who shaped this country, Sergeant Shriver, was diagnosed and eventually succumbed to the disease at age 95. I remember meeting your dad later in his life when he had the Alzheimer's diagnosis. And I was stunned, both because I knew and respected him before he had the disease, but also respected the family and what you were able to do to help him. What did you do when you first knew that your dad had Alzheimer's? We got together. My brothers, I have four brothers and my mom. And what's important to know, I think, when someone you love is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, is that everybody goes through it in a different way. One of the things I think that my brothers and I did well that I often advocate for, as you know, I've started a nonprofit to bring attention to Alzheimer's, to bring attention to the warning signs and fund research into understanding the disease. But also, my brothers and I got together and we did a weekly conference call. And we got on the same page. But I would want to know how you're doing. You're approaching this, I know, from a teaching place. But I want to know as a son, because we're children of Alzheimer's. I'm only teaching it because I spend a lot of time processing it. I let my mom deal with it. I am here because of her. She was able to get across the way to feel about life in ways that are unique. And to watch that wisdom, the shine in her eyes, because she has beautiful eyes, begin to cloud over is very painful. And I blamed myself, because I realized that if I had found it earlier, it could have helped, certainly delayed and stall it. The clues were there. She wasn't understanding what was going on. So many kids say, I blame myself. But I don't know that blaming ourselves does anything. And that actually stepping in and trying to find some sort of support system for you, actually, is a great thing. And then using this as a teaching moment. What do you want people to know from this moment? The biggest lesson for me, it's very painful to admit this on my own stage, is that my family lost our truth. How do you mean? The biggest lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves. So we all saw parts of my mom falling apart. Her makeup wasn't perfect. My sister would see that, one of the sisters. She would start giving away things to people she didn't really know. Another sister saw that. She would argue with me about a therapy I wanted to give to my dad, even though normally she trusts my judgment. She's been on this stage. She's spent time with all the audience. She's a smart woman. She should never have pushed back on these ideas. And my dad was the ringleader, because they were married 60 years. He couldn't deal with the possibility that the woman he loved had Alzheimer's. Could you deal with the possibility? I had trouble dealing with it. I remember I was in Turkey when the neurologist came in to say he put her through a mental status test, and she flunked. And as I was just dealing with that gut punch, my dad said, that's not possible. You're wrong. And my father's a doctor and a strong-willed man, and they switched neurologists. I mean, the first step, if you're told you have Alzheimer's, is not to switch the doctor. You might switch the doctor for other reasons, but that's not a good one. And that lie propagated. The diagnosis of Alzheimer's is no time to start lying to each other. It's the time to actually bluntly and brutally tell the truth, and we really struggled with that, and I bet you were not alone. So many people would probably think Dr. Oz would miss the signs because that's your lane, right? So what do you think you could have done differently? What do you think you could tell people? It's a chameleon of a disease. It's slippery. It's like a snake in the grass. You sort of see the grass moving, but you can't quite tell what it is, and you don't want to admit it because it's too painful. The idea that you would lose, which is how I feel now, that I'm going to lose my mom twice, and I'm scared of the day. I was just going to ask you that. One day, my mom, while she's still in her physical body, while that's still alive, so birth certificate and death certificate have not both been signed, I'm going to lose her as the woman that knows me. So since you've described so beautifully a few of the symptoms, are you okay with walking our audience? Let's say pick six things we want you to focus on, and just try to figure out if these are happening to people you love. Is that okay? I love it. This is my mission. So come back over here. Okay. And I put these up on the screen. We'll go in whatever order you want. So challenges in planning, let me take that one. Okay, you take that. My dad required fairly sophisticated care, and my mom began to challenge the plans that I mentioned earlier. So what you're also saying, which I think is important, is that very often our parents are having dual challenges. They're both having challenges. And as children, we don't know, should we focus? Like my mom broke her hip. She was having strokes. Should I focus on my dad's memory? Should I focus over here with my mom? So I think taking turns or trying to focus in is a big thing. It's worse if they enable each other. Yeah. In my case, they enabled each other. That's probably why they're married 60-something years. My dad denied she had Alzheimer's, and she used a non-sensible way of dealing with his illness, and boom. So challenges in planning, difficulty completing tasks, confusing time and place, this became a big deal. My mom would say, well, why don't you come over for lunch? I said, Mom, you're an 11-hour flight from me. I'm not near you. But it was so episodic, I just thought she was sleepy or maybe taking a sleeping pill or something and just missed one point. But the third time, I should have woken up to it. At that point, it became that combined with this was what finally tipped me off that there was a problem. Trouble understanding visuals. This is the kind of thing where Mom says, move the sofa into the corner. You say, Mom, that sofa's not going to fit in the corner. Not being able to do the spatial math that we all do naturally, is that what happened to your dad? No, that didn't. But my dad started doing a lot of repetition. That's a problem with words. In the tape, my mom was trying to find the word for beautiful, and she just kept saying pretty instead. But I know that's not the word she was trying to find. And finally, misplacing and losing the ability to retrace your steps, which wasn't a big issue for my mom, but it happens to a lot of folks. So how do you kind of put all these together and what is your lesson to your overall family and your TV family? So I'm going to share with everybody, as honestly as I can, the shift that my mom's on, the things that I'm going to do, and most importantly, things you all need to do. These are just some of the things that our daughters and our sons and our friends and our neighbors should all be looking for. Anyone can pick up on these things. But if we don't talk to each other, you sort of feel like you're the only one, and you don't want to accuse your friend or loved one of having Alzheimer's, so everyone keeps their mouth shut, which is what happened to my family. Every family will cope differently. My pledge this year is the power of one, because each of us has the power to start the ball rolling. It can be nerve-wracking to be the one who says something's wrong with Mom. It's downright frightening to know that this hereditary gene may be lurking in our own bodies, as it is in me. And trust me, I know. My family's going through this right now, and so am I. But there's power in getting it out, right? Calling it out, letting it know, get early intervention, because it makes a difference. It will. Even prevention is possible. And you're not alone. We are all caregivers to someone, because we all ultimately care. All right, so since I got the news about my mom, I've heard from others who have walked in these shoes. Take a look. Breathe, believe, receive. That's what we say. So breathe in the faith that you're going to get through this thing. Believe that hope and optimism, well, they're your co-partners in caring. And receive the help from the community and so many who love you and want to be there for you, people like me. It's heartbreaking, but you have to stay strong through this. You move forward with love and to show the love that you have for your mother to her, every chance that you get to be present with her, and to continue to share your experiences with the world. I am so grateful for all these beautiful messages of hope and support, not just for me, but for all of you watching at home. I cannot thank you enough, and God bless you for all you do. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Thank you for watching. Don't forget to subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss out on new videos to live the good life.