I Regret Telling the Apple Store My Age | BEST OF Rita Rudner

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What happens when a Vegas headliner turns 50 and the world quietly hangs up on her? Rita Rudner finds out in A Tale of Two Dresses. She takes her first Uber. She forgets the one password that holds all her passwords. A phone survey clicks off the second she says her age. Nobody compliments her legs anymore. A nurse told her she has nice veins.

Rita's counterattack is Forever 51, a store for women the world stopped seeing, where size 12 is labeled size 4 and every bathing suit has sleeves. Plus 30 years of marriage, her dad's 40-year feud with his sister, her mom's fabric softener meatloaf, and a $150 steak from an unmarried cow.