Tell Her NO… Then Watch What Happens

People will insult you right to your face and these guys don't even know they're being insulted. Like, you know, for example, when you're together with family, let's say it's like Thanksgiving, you routinely see people often tell the guy's girlfriend or wife, you know, he's really lucky to have you. You never ever hear anybody tell the wife or the girlfriend, you know, you're really lucky to have this guy. And even though that that is probably more accurate and true than the in those situations, because these guys are, are wholly taken care of and enabling these women. So to avoid that for men, when they first connect with a woman after the initial attraction is established and okay, both parties know they're into each other. After you've established that, what are some of the things you start looking for to assess her? Yeah, I mean, there's, I mean, you definitely want to pay attention to her behaviors, her mannerisms, how she talks to servers, how respectful she is of your time, your boundaries. The word no, that's, you know, that's a big one. You know, you can, you can really see what a woman's made of when you tell her no. Yeah, there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of things that guys like they need to really slow things down. They need to turn off the afterburners and slow things down and stop rushing into things. And I know a lot of guys, you know, they're in their late thirties or their forties. And there's, you know, the girls that come along with the baby rabies that are on the dating apps. And they're like 36 and my eggs are drying up and I got to get married in the next year. And if it doesn't happen, then we've got to move on. So should her get off the pot? And these guys are like, well, she's the prettiest thing I've ever had. So I think I'm just going to marry her. And they don't take the time to get to know her, to get to know her family, to see how she behaves when you travel and the luggage gets lost. Does she have a meltdown and yell at the girl at the counter? She say, you know what, babe, doesn't matter. We're in the Caribbean. Let's just go get some bathing suits, you know, down the road. We'll be fine. The weather's good. We'll figure it out later. Right. You want to, you want to see what this chick's made of over time beyond just, you know, you have a intimate connection and she's attracted to you and you're attracted to her. You know, you brought up two things there that I have long considered red flags, um, one, a potential red flag. Uh, and I've been saying this for years and I know I've heard you say it before. Tell a woman notice something. Yeah. Uh, and then watch very carefully what she does. And my take on that is that if she shows even a scintilla of vindictiveness at hearing the word no early on, there's your exit sign. Yeah. Right. Hissy fits are big too, right? You know, if she's going to throw a hissy fit because you said no to her or she doesn't like a boundary that you set, then that's, then that's a no-go zone. That's a no-go for sure. And I think the other thing is what can absolutely be a red flag is to pay attention to what, how women treat people they don't need. Yep. When they're in restaurants dealing with white staff or with members of the public or merchants or, or anything like that, if they're rude toward those people, if they're demanding and insistent, that is an indication of how they'll be treating you. Once the infatuation wears down a little bit and it's a guarantee every time. And I can't tell you how many guys I've talked to that said, yeah, yeah, she does that. She's rude to people, but I kind of like them feisty. Uh, tell me that when you're in family court that you like them feisty. Because that works out when you're untying the knot. Exactly. Yeah. The feisty is expensive. Um, let's talk a little bit about why men ignore red flags. When a man says, I saw red, the red flags, but I ignored them. What was he actually ignoring? Was it the evidence his own self-interest or both? You know, I don't think that they see it as a red flag. I think they see it as, I don't like that. That's annoying, but a lot of women behave that way. And she likes me. She returns my texts. She wants to see me. She has sex with me. And I think they dismiss it because of some ingredient or combination of those ingredients. Um, they like, we inherently know as men good from bad. We know day from night, uh, babies know this, you know what I mean? It's just, I don't think that guys put enough thought into it. You know, I've said this before, guys will put way more thought into the, into the next purchase of a vehicle. What's the trunk size? How many cubic feet? What, how many liters is a tank hold? How many miles per gallon does it get? What's the zero 60 on this baby? You know, how fuel efficient, like they'll go right down the list and study all this thing, you know, but it's like the first girl that that's, that's genuinely, or they think is genuinely interested in them and starts making demands for a commitment for a ring, for marriage, for house, for babies and all these, you know, sorts of things. They just think that that's what you got to do because they've heard all their life, you know, happy wife, happy life, go along to get along. They watch the Cosby kids growing up. They watch home improvement growing up and they saw the men belittled and treated like trash, you know, on the show for comedic value. Um, so even though I think they inherently like their gut knows this sucks, like there's something wrong here. They just pursue it anyway because I think men, when they fall in love with a woman, they want to do things to please them. Right. I mean, when a man loves a woman, he will do things to please a woman and he'll look past nonsense. Yep. Um, but it requires a sort of supportive narrative in order to do, to ignore your gut on that level. When you see inappropriate behavior, stuff that should be a red flag. And what I see a lot of guys do is tell themselves she's different with me. Yeah. Or they get positive, you know, affirmations from family or friends just saying, you know, she's got a difficult job. You know, you should probably look past it. She's a really good person overall. And you know, maybe she's just having a bad week or it's her period or something like some version of something to just dismiss it, to sort of like keep it going. And I think in some cases there's a lot of people out there that are just selfish. I mean, I've seen, um, I've seen parents encourage, um, you know, the rekindling of a relationship. You know, I've seen guys call off a marriage and say, no, I don't want to marry this woman. She's crazy. And usually the mom will convince them to sign back up for it. She's not that bad. It'll get better. Just get married. Cause she wants to have grandkids. Right. Nonsense like that. Right. That's like, you know, no motive there. Yeah. Like you're not getting any younger or, you know, there's something like that that might be behind it. So, um, you know, this is why I'm, I'm, I'm very firm on guys putting themselves first and doing the work that brings up sort of family of origin stuff there. I also wonder how many people, uh, especially men who've been brought up as sort of a servile lifestyle with their mother, pleasing mama. If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy, happy wife, happy life becomes happy mama, happy life too. Um, a lot of these guys get conditions into this stuff by their mothers. I mean, how else could a mother talk a guy into marrying a crazy, crazy woman, uh, despite his better judgment? Well, you've got, what is it? Something like 43% of households are single parent households and they don't say single mothers, but we all know like 80 of them are single mother households. All right, guys, I really hope that you enjoyed that clip. If you want to check out the full length podcast episode, you can find that right over here. Also make sure you visit my website over here where you'll find my supplements, the opportunity to book me privately one-on-one for coaching. And most importantly, my new school of unplugging, which you'll find on the courses tab, newer to the channel, hit subscribe.