Conan Visits The Dublin Guinness Brewery | CONAN on TBS

I'm here at the Guinness factory in Dublin. Everybody thinks I'm here to shoot a funny remote segment, but actually, I'm just here for free Guinness. This was my idea. I don't care if we don't get five minutes of footage. I want free Guinness. I'm standing here with Kira. You're a storehouse assistant here at Guinness, is that right? I am indeed, yes. We're gonna get to sample some Guinness maybe? Of course, but not right now. In a little while, maybe. Okay, what would you like to start off the tour? Tell me what we need to know. This lease in the center is the lease Arthur Guinness signed in the year 1759. It's for 9,000 years. Just enough time. 9,000 year lease. Indeed, yeah. This is the ingredients section of the Guinness- Storehouse. Storehouse, yes. That sound you hear is people urinating after a lot of Guinness, is that correct? It is not correct. It's the sound of our lonely waterfall. Oh, that's a waterfall. Sorry, I assume. We also have the barley, we have hops, and also our very special supply of yeast as well. So, all four ingredients come together to make the Guinness. I'm gonna guess that you're gonna wanna show me all four ingredients. Well, usually on a tour, yes. If I can do three pull-ups on this steel beam right now, can I have some Guinness? Got it! We'll see, we'll see. Ah! Quit me, get off. I can't, I can't. I'm sorry. It's okay. So, this is what makes the Guinness, the barley. It's the essence of it. Do cats ever wander in here and try and- No, they do not. Good, because it looks a lot like a, you know, place a cat would go. Is there any chance that by chewing this, I would, in fact, get the effects of having a pint of Guinness? Definitely no. Huge mistake. Put this back. Oh, it's selling on eBay. Yeah, it's the only one in existence. That's the smile of a man who just got a farmer to sign a 9,000 year lease. What is your name? John, I'm tour guide. Guess who I am. Like a TV. Yes, TV, yes. TV. Yeah. I mean, the Guinness Roaster. The unique process of roasting things. TV. Yes. Hoster. TV host. That's right. Huge. You know my work. This looks like the famous Guinness Harp. It is indeed. It was based on the Downhill Harp in the year 1702. Look at the snake on the top. Look at his face. He can't believe I've had to wait this long for a pint of Guinness. He looks stunned. This is the Wall of Fame. Anyone famous who comes to Guinness Storehouse, we try and get a photograph. To the Guinness Storehouse, with appreciation and best wishes from the crew of Air Force One. I don't know how I feel about that. Thanks for all the Guinness. Now we're going to fly the president. This is the president having some Guinness just before his first debate with Mitt Romney. There's the queen. Bill Clinton. Of course, yeah. Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd is here. I think he enjoyed a pint of Guinness. Did Paul Rudd get free Guinness? I can't tell you that information. That's definitely... Look at him smiling. That's a guy who got free Guinness. Oh, look at this. You know what would be a great photograph right here? Let me pitch this to you. Conan O'Brien getting his lifetime supply of Guinness. Can you imagine if I was just right here? I think most of these people did not have to go through a whole tour. I think a lot of them got their Guinness right away. I think the president got his Guinness right away. I think Jorge Garcia got his Guinness right away. For me, I've been taken through the history of oats, barleys, grains, hops. I've watched them grow. I've watched you till the fields. It's all part of the learning process, though. It's really important that you know what's going on. Okay, let's go and see how the steel was made to make the building, and then how the concrete was poured, shall we? I don't think that would be necessary. I think that's a little... No, no, I think we should be thorough. It's a little too far. Before you can get your pint of Guinness, I actually have someone I have to introduce you to. His name is Fergal Murray, and he's a master brewer. Hello, Fergal. Mr. O'Brien, you're very welcome. You're taunting me with an empty glass of Guinness. Are you noticing that? We've been speaking for over an hour and a half, and you're going like this to me. I'm waiting for you to say, Fergal, please show me how to pour one. There's six fantastic steps. Can you do six steps? Six steps to pouring me a glass of Guinness. Yeah. Okay. We'll make it fun as well. Okay. Is that okay? Yeah, six steps. I have a feeling it's going to turn into 11 steps very soon. Step one, I've got my glass. Two, 45 degree angle. Swoop in. Okay, now what did I do wrong? First thing you didn't do is follow instructions. Duh-duh-duh. You're not allowed to do that until you get it perfect. I tried to make Guinness myself once at home. I took a loaf of pumpernickel bread and put it in the blender, and then buried it in the yard for about six weeks. I got sick as a dog. Okay, now show me how to drink it. Now, you see, what men do when they drink Guinness, how to duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Never look down at a pint of Guinness because it's bad manners. Always look to the horizon. Look to the horizon. Put your elbow up, and pull the liquid through the head. I'm fighting the glass with my tongue. Okay, and then you sip underneath the foam? Yes. I'm still looking at the horizon. Are you still here? I can't see you. There. Try it again, try it again, but just try to keep it in the water. Oh, I couldn't try more. Slide in. Nice, smooth, smooth. Answer that, actually. Guinness. Here you go. Here's Fergal. Hold on one sec. It's someone who works here. Hello, Pierre. You, well done. You were brilliant. He's definitely gonna be here for a while. Duh-duh-duh-duh. Now, try to pretend you're not impressed. Ah.