Nobody Breaks Celebrities Like Emma Thompson!

Hi, it's Donald Trump here. And I thought someone was having a laugh. You're on all fours. It seems like quite a solid, steady position. I have found it so in the past. But are you upset when you're crying or are you just like crying now? Yes, I'm generally speaking pretending to be somebody else. And that person, whoever it is, is in some difficulty for some whatever reason. And that produces the emotion required. Emma Thompson is quite an eccentric person. From telling spicy stories to roasting celebrities, she says things you wouldn't expect from a dame. They were a bit depressed, so I went away and took my car off and put two Mickey Mouse stickers on my nipples. And then I came back out and I showed them. Where do you want me? A snakeskin pet. Python. Hmm? Python, yes. Beautiful. And that's just one python on each leg, isn't it? Yes. I eviscerated them myself. You just pull out the body and then pull them on. Me and Jimmy backstage said we definitely would. Yeah, even I might. Yeah. I was a waiter at the opening night party for that. Oh really? Yeah. Hilarious. I didn't try and shag you, did I? He was very nice. He was very courtly in a way. Austrian and sort of courtly. Yes. Can he act? No, no, no, no. He was so grumpy all the time. I was. So grumpy. He knew me. He'd known me for years. There was nothing there for him. He knew that I wasn't going to cover. He couldn't have been less interested. I'm trying to make him good. The money, titles, and fame didn't seem to change her. She's still very down to earth, and that's what makes her so likable. You have become a dame for the people out there who don't know. Explain what a dame is. Well, I'm not entirely sure. Nothing seems to have changed. We're being so racy. I can't believe it. This place is like a church as well. It's all the stained glass windows. I'm getting nervous. You and Emma, you know each other of old. What do you mean old? Well, no, no. We've met previously. Yeah, fair enough. We have, but we've never liked each other, which is interesting. I got paid £60, which is about $6,000. I don't know what the exchange rate is. He's got four babies of his own. Yes, he has. I rushed towards him going, darling, can I kiss you? And he said, no. He can't kiss me. I kissed him later. Oh, that's nice. I like Eminem. I think he's absolutely brilliant. Did I say that right? Yes. Emma apparently doesn't like AI because it messed with her script. She goes off a little too hard on it. Another thing she despises is clowns or mimes as street performers, and you will see why shortly. When I've written something, I will put it into a Word document. And recently, the Word document is constantly saying, would you like me to rewrite that for you? I don't need you to rewrite what I've just written, will you? I get the feeling, maybe I'm wrong, you're the sort of person, you've got focus, you've got resolve. If you make a New Year's resolution, I imagine you would stick to it. Oh, yeah. No, I think there's very little that can't be clarified or illuminated by a run, a good run of about an hour and a half, which is why I'm very much still in the dark. So this is a New Year's resolution. He's not even listening. He's not even listening. That was quite a good joke. It's like clowns, you know, or people doing mime and stuff in the street. It just immediately turns me into a psychopath. I just want to kill them. They're a public hazard. Did you know Donald Trump tried to make a move on her? Here's what she had to say about it. And you are one of them. Yes. I know. Be the first lady. I could have changed the course of history. If I had gone out with him for dinner, I could have done that. Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. Which, of course, is untrue because you have Trump. And we laughed and laughed and laughed. Well said. Dame Thompson expresses herself in the most unapologetic way ever. During the Colbert show, she explained how a joke is similar to a male orgasm. And the male genitalia, which, as we all can agree, I think, is, upon first sight, relatively alarming. 100%. 100%. Presumably you have keys to each other's doors, that kind of thing. Yes, yes, absolutely. Does she have to knock or cough before she comes in in case... Yeah, we're shagging in the front room or something. And that actually hasn't happened. We've been together for a long time. And after a while, you just sort of think, do you know what? Bed's actually really the most comfortable place. See, I think jokes are very male because you build it up and then there's the punchline. So it is, as it were, a kind of male... Build it up. You build it up. Build it up. Slow down. Build it up. There's a big punchline. A punch... One word punchline? So it's a sort of male orgasm, whereas female comedy is often different. You know, you're kind of funny in the middle and then you're funny again. And then you're absolutely hilarious at one point and then it kind of tapers off. So it's a sort of... Some women, sadly, never get the laugh. No, well, yeah. I find it really hard helping with the homework. He's on your hair right now. Look, I have got, I've got... Is he there? Is he there? He's on your head. He is on your head right there. Well, should we need to get rid of this fly? I think, no, I don't think you should. I think he should be allowed to appear on the rest of the show. Because I do honestly think that there's something about it. Yeah, she's a woman late night talk shows. It's basically science fiction. And, um... Sneaky, sneaky little political remark there from Dame Tompo. If you are still here, press a like on the video and comment. Which celebrity would you like to see next? Don't leave just yet. There are still some hilarious jokes to come. To me, Nanny McPhee, when we see the... Like, how long does that take? Slightly less long than it takes me to look like this. They get you to dress up, then they present you with a square yard of wet cement and invite you to stick body parts into it. Don't you think that's eccentric? I... Like, you're very happy to have your picture taken. No, not really. Really? Yeah, you're entirely wrong. He said, you've written about a magical nanny, now you're playing someone who's written a magical nanny. I wonder if behind every magical nanny there's a rancid, bitter cantankerous old man. That was a good breakfast.