The Ones with Rachel from Season 4 | Friends

Monica, I'm quitting. I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong and she didn't even buy it. I'm telling you, I'm quitting. That's it. I'm talking to my boss right now. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Okay, bye. Call me when you get this message. Mr. Waltham, I really need to talk to you. In a moment, please. I'm in the middle of a task and you have a customer. Hi. Hi, I'm Joshua. Hi, I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for you, Joshua? Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well, my ex-wife. Oh, I'm so sorry. She burned all of my clothes so I got away with two things. This suit that turned out to be a skirt. Well, at least that's a great suit. Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. So, I need everything down to underwear. So, if you're willing, I'm all yours. Okay. Rachel, you needed to speak to me. No, no, that wasn't me. Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. The selection of underwear that we carry. Oh, I'm sorry. It's this way. It's this way. It's this way? Yeah. Sorry. Would you like to go to a basketball game with... No, no. You know, it's funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets to the... Um, who likes the Knicks? What do you think? Oh, well, as a single woman who is available, I think you look great. Huh? Huh? Yep. Oh yeah, you look great. Oh yeah, yeah, this looks great. Um, so you like it? I do, I do. I love it. In fact, I think I'm gonna wear it home. Great. All right, well, thank you so much for all your help. Well, I guess, uh, I guess this is it. Thanks. Maybe I'll see you in the spring, you know, with the, uh, for the bathing suits. Well, you don't want to do that now? That's okay. Anyway, hopefully I'll see you around sometime. Basketball! Sorry? I, uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight, if you're interested, just as a thank you for this week. That would be great. Really? Yeah, that would be fantastic. My nephew is crazy about the Knicks. This is fantastic. Thank you so much, Rachel. Good morning. Hi. Okay, for next time, what do you say? I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not two tickets, I have an extra ticket. So, the first time you asked a guy out, he, he turned you down? He didn't turn me down. He's at the game, isn't he? I got the date, I'm just not on it. What is Chandler Bing's job? Oh, gosh, this has something to do with numbers and processing. Well, it carries a briefcase. Ten seconds, you need this or you lose the game. It's, um, it has something to do with transponding. Transponster! I was just leaving. Good, because I've got a product report to read. It's like eight pages. I hope I don't fall asleep. Why, did you write it? Whoa, look at that. Chip Matthews called. Wonder what he wants. Well, uh, actually... I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex. With another guy? Well, um, why don't you give him a call? Okay. Are you sure you want to hear this? Oh, I'm sure. Chip! Hi, it's Rachel. Rachel Green. Yeah, um, you left me a message? Yes, you did. My roommate wrote it down. Monica Geller? Oh. Oh, that's right. He called to ask out Monica. That's gotta be embarrassing. I can't believe I'm getting my nails done, and you said it was gonna be fun. Which it kind of is. Also, you said there were gonna be other guys here. There are no other guys here. Geller, there's a guy right over there. That's a mailman. That's our mailman. Hi. Geller, don't worry. This doesn't make you any less of a guy. That does. What am I sitting on? I'd hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off. Hey, you know, uh, who used to have nails like that? Oh, my. We can't go now. It looks like Rachel's gonna put on a skit. Oh, my God. Have you lost your mind? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasn't working out too well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, I cannot. I can't let... Actually, I kind of want to see what happens. Hey. Nice, uh, costume. Oh, yeah. Well, I wanted to give Emily a big American goodbye cheer. So, okay. Give me an E. E. Give me an M. M. Give me an I. I. Give me an L. L. Give me a Y. Y. Okay. What do I do now? What do I do now? I think you're done. Okay. Time to take off the bra. Uh, that was really, uh, great. But I gotta take off, actually. Take bra off. All right. Come on. Let's go get your coat. Okay. Rachel is my girlfriend. Oh, I think I saw something here. What is it? Maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die. Living here. What? What is it? Did you see the size of the closets? I can't believe we live here. Get out. I can do that. Ask him out. How you doing? Hi, Joshua. It's Rachel Green from Bloomingdale's. Yeah, um, I was just wondering if you, um, if you, um, left your wallet at the store today? Hey, oh, how was Vermont? Emily is incredible. I mean, there, there are no words to describe her. The whole weekend was, was like a dream. Oh, and you, Rach. Oh, hey. Hey. You were so right. What? Uh, what you said about us finally being in a place where we could really be happy for each other. I mean, I, I admit I, I wasn't quite there, you know? I mean, the thought of you and that, that Josh guy. Joshua. Joshua guy at that club dancing, having a good time, and the thought of it kind of, you know? Yeah. But now, but now I'm totally there. I'm, I'm finally where you are. Oh, thank goodness. And thank you for Emily. Oh, no problem. I'm so glad I could help, you know? Happy for you. Happy for you. Oh, no, happy for you. Buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts. Yep. I, uh, oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning. With extra pulp? Yeah. No. You don't have it. I have so got it. There's going to be rumors about this. There's no way to stop it. Sophie knows. Monica and Phoebe know. How do Monica and Phoebe know? Well, I called them. And when they asked me what I saw, I can be very generous or very stingy. Go on. I can make you a legend. I can make you this generation's Milton Berle. And Milton Berle has... Oh, not compared to you. Hello. Hey. Hello, Chandler. I love you. Hey, what's going on? Oh, no, he doesn't. Two hours that lasted. This is so nice. Thank you for doing this. Oh, please. Cooking soothes me. So digging. Right. Oh, it all looks so good. Oh, my God. Oh, I know. My God, this is so, this rice is, I'm so good. Behind you. Yeah, sorry. They used to live here. Sometimes they migrate back over. Is there a, is there some way that they could, uh, not be here? It's just that, uh, farm birds really kind of freak me out. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. There you go. Hey, how'd you do that? So, farm birds, huh? Yeah, it's my only weird thing, I swear. And I would have told you about it, but I didn't know that they would be here. So, all right. Okay. So, can I serve you a little of what? What's, what? Nothing. I, uh, it's just that I know that they're still out there. They're across the hall. I mean, that's two doors away. It's gonna take them a long time to peck their way back over here. That's, that's not funny. Okay. You know, would you feel better if we went someplace else? I mean, we could pack all this stuff up and, you know, go to your apartment. Uh, they're working on it this week. It's a total mess. But, uh, I'm staying at my parents' house. We could go there. Your parents? Yeah, they're out of town. Oh. I mean, it's a huge place and, and it's got this gorgeous view of the park. It'd be very, very romantic. What do you say? Yeah, that works. They can smell the fear. Hey, new wallet, huh? Uh, yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesn't say cool anymore, you know? Rachel, you just put an empty carton back in the fridge. Oh, yeah, I know, but the garbage was full. Have you ever taken out the trash? Well, I, uh, thought you liked doing it. Third door on the left. Right. Hey, Mr. Trigger. Hey. What are you doing? Um, oh, oh, I'm sorry. It's a little old, but... You're clogging up the chute. I had to spend a half hour unclogging. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't, I don't come in here a lot. Oh, yeah, of course you don't, because you're a little princess. Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing happy birthday to me. What, you think you can just come in here, make a mess of big man in the coveralls, I'll come and clean it up, huh? Well, why don't you think of someone else for a change? Okay, I'm sorry. God, you're gonna cry about it. I mean, my mom never thought this would work out. She was all, once a cheater, always a cheater. Oh, I just wish we hadn't lost those four months. But if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective. We were on the break. Coffee house? Back. And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship. Yeah, you and that girl from the coffee place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for. I didn't know what I was taking responsibility for, okay? I didn't finish the whole letter. What? I fell asleep. You fell asleep? It was 5 30 in the morning and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back! And by the way, Y-O-U apostrophe R-E means you are. Y-O-U-R means you're. You know, I can't believe I'm getting back together with you. We are so over. Fine by me! Oh, and howling tips will come in handy when you're at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica. Hey! Sorry. I just feel bad about all that sleep you're gonna miss wishing you were with me. Oh, no, no, don't you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter! Oh, boy, you are really not a morning person. Back off! What is that noise? You! It's the chick. She's going through some changes. What kind of changes? Well, the vet seems to think that she's becoming a rooster. We're getting a second opinion. Too weak thing, anyway. I just didn't want it to end this way, you know? Maybe you didn't want it to end. What do you mean? You seem to really like her. Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do? I mean, we both agreed it was gonna be a too weak thing, you know? No commitment. Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica's photo albums. I mean, you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks. You think? Yeah. You've got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting here in a hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Thanks. What photo album was it? I don't know. You and a bunch of albino kids. Oh my god, those weren't albino kids. That was computer camp, Rach! Rach, funny story. I bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday. My boss, Joanna? Wow, that must have been awkward. Well, no, actually she asked me if I wanted to get a drink. You didn't say yes to that, did you? No, no. Hello, Rachel. Well, not at first. What is she doing here? I don't understand. Last time you went out with her, you said she was a big dull dud. Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level. Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it. You must end it now. Oh, come on. It's not like this is an everyday occurrence for me. I mean, usually I'm pretty much just in there by myself. I did it! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug! Hey, you guys! I finished the crossword all by myself! Hug me! Congratulations! Thank you! Hey, how'd the catering go? Oh, it was great. The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her till she did. Yeah, I'm a hard ass. And I'm a wuss. And we should be partners. Yeah, hard ass and wuss. We could fight crime. You okay? I'm more than okay. I am really, really happy. I don't know why. Do I? Because I am really happy about us. I think we are, I think we are so on the right track, you know? I mean, I think we are working. I think we are clicking. Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, we're clicking. If there was just like one little area that I think we would need to work on, I would think it was that we're just not crazy enough. I gotta say, I'm not too sure I agree with that. Well, yeah, you're right. I mean, you know, we have our fun. Yeah, but I mean like crazy, you know? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound, you know, a little hasty, but just go with me. What if we got married? What? Oh, I know, I know. It's, it's so, it's so totally like whoa, can we do this, you know? I mean, but I mean, it just feels right, don't you think? It does. I mean, it just feels right, don't you? Wow, uh, Rachel, um, you're a real special lady, but my divorce isn't final yet, and, and, and we've been on four dates, so I'm thinking no, but thanks. You idiot! Well, I just called Joshua. Oh, how'd it go? Well, I did my best to convince him that I'm not some crazy girl who is dying to get married, and I'm just going through a hard time. What'd he say? Well, uh, his answering machine was very understanding. I feel blue. Hey, you know, I might cheer you up. What? I gotta tell you, this really does put me in a better mood. Uh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. Maybe someday there will be. Oh god, that's Chandler. He's gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date. Oh, okay. No, no, Rachel, don't get it. He'll see us. No, yeah, the groom cannot see the bride. I'm not gonna marry Chandler. Not after this. Okay, guys, just relax. I do. That ought to do it. You have to do that. It's Saturday. Oh, come on. Morning's here. I hate this apartment. I hate the color of these walls. I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird. I hate that singing guy. Are you kidding? I love that guy. Morning's here. Stop it! I will kill you. Hey, look at this. They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight. Um, that paper's two weeks old. All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash? I really wanted to take Kathy to this. I can't believe I missed it. Hey, you know, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with. I hate being alone this time of year. Next thing you know, it'll be Valentine's Day, then my birthday, then bang! Before you know it, they're lighting that damn tree again. I want somebody. You know, I want a man. It doesn't even have to be a big relationship, you know? Just like a fling would be great. Really? I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling. Well, let me tell you something. It's been a long time since I've been flung. Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas. You know what? There's some nice guys in my office. You want me to set you up? Yeah. Wait a minute. It's been a long time that I've been single. How come you've never offered this before? Well, I have a girlfriend. I'm happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy. Okay. No accountants. Oh, and no one from, like, legal. I don't like guys with boring jobs. Oh, and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?