How to live a happier and more fulfilling life // 30 life lessons I have learned at 30

It is official, you guys. This video should be going live on Monday, September 4th, which means that tomorrow is my 30th birthday. I cannot believe that I have finally hit this dirty 30. I am honestly just so grateful and blessed that I have lived a happy and healthy life thus far, and to sort of commemorate and celebrate my birthday, I thought it would be fun to share 30 things I've learned in my 30 years on this earth that have helped me live my life to the fullest, chase my dreams, be successful not only in my career, but also in my marriage, having a beautiful home, and more. And before I get into it, remember that these are things that I've learned, not things that I've mastered, so I'm still definitely working on some of these. So with that, grab a beverage, and let's get cozy and have a little chit chat. I poured a little sparkling ice. I've been loving this grape raspberry flavor that they have, so cheers, and let's dive into it. So first is to be super mindful about who you let into your life and into your inner circle. The people closest to you can truly impact how you view yourself, how successful you are in your career, how driven you are. They can also kind of tear you down sometimes, and your inner circle can really have a huge impact on your mental health, your happiness, your success, all of it. So be super mindful and particular about who you let into your inner circle. Two is that people can change if it is their decision to do so. I feel like as I've grown, learned, matured, I have changed. I've changed since I was in high school, I've changed since I was even in college. Even in the last year, like having a new job, I've learned new things, learned how to become a new person. So I think people really can change, but it definitely has to be their decision. You can't force someone to change, but if they decide to do so, don't be afraid to give somebody a second chance if they have proven that they are a little bit different than they were a couple of years ago. Number three is that it is okay to not be okay sometimes. Honestly, going through these ups and downs that I've experienced over this last year of getting laid off, there's been times where I feel like I have to be super strong and I can't be vulnerable and show and share how I'm actually feeling. I want to be the best version of myself for my husband. I want to be super bubbly and outgoing to meet new people in a new city, but honestly, sometimes life is really hard and it's okay to feel those feelings, do whatever you need to do to work through them and just know that it's okay to not be 100% all the time. Number four. I love this one. And it is to talk to yourself the way that your partner, husband, best friend, mom, whoever would talk to you. Pick the person that you think maybe adores you the most in the world and think about how they would speak to you. Would they ever say things like, wow, you are such an idiot for forgetting your keys in the car? Hopefully not. They also probably wouldn't be picking your physical appearance apart in the mirror and things like that. So when I kind of learned this perspective as far as self-affirmations and positive self-talk, one way that I really liked to think about it was thinking about the way that my husband would compliment me, the way that he would say nice things about me, and he would never say things that I might say to myself when I'm in a negative state. So when it comes to positive affirmation, I always try and think about what my husband would say to me and how he would say it and think about that for the lens that I use to think about how I talk to myself, if that makes sense. Number five, this is one, a big one that I've learned this year is that you are always going to be disposable to another company. So take your finances into your own hands, create multiple income streams so that you will never be 100% dependent on a company or for that matter, even just like one source of income. For me, I'm really trying to diversify my income stream by having like YouTube income, hopefully like can grow some of my other social media channels, creating an online website, which if you haven't checked that out, make sure you go check it out, it's down in my description box. I really want to start a podcast with Chris. We also have investments that are paying us like dividends, growing our income through that. One day I want to own rental properties. So I'm thinking about different kinds of sources of income that I can create so that I'm never ever again dependent on one source of income. Learning number six, I wish I knew this one when I was like 10 years old, this is to invest your money as early as possible, as young as possible and as much as possible. I mean, I could have a whole video talking about investing, the pros and cons and like why you should be investing, how it can generate you millions of dollars through the span of your life. That is going to be too long for this video, but investing your money as much as you can and as early as you can will ultimately set you up for such a more comfortable future in life. And I wish that I had started investing in the stock market when I was like 10 years old, even if it was only like 20 bucks a month for my allowance. Like I wish that I had done that, but you know what, there is no time like the present start now. If you haven't started investing life lesson, number seven is to live below your means. I feel like, you know, I kind of had to figure this out as I went make decisions when it comes to buying a car, buying a house, buying clothes and expenses and stuff like what you actually can spend and how much flexibility you have in your spending money and make sure you are living below that saving and again, investing every single month, right? Life lesson number eight is that keeping up with the Joneses, as they say, will never fulfill you. Think about the things that you actually want in your life. If you want a really, really nice car, a super specific car, then great. Get that car, but don't always look at what other people have, compare yourself to them and then think, oh, well they got a new car so now I want a new car or they got a boat so now I want a boat. I don't know. Those are just examples. It's totally okay to want nice things, a new car, a new house, whatever, I don't know, but always be connected to like a deeper meaning to why you want that thing and never because you're comparing yourself to somebody else and what they have that will never make you happy because you'll always be kind of chasing something that doesn't actually fulfill you. So think about the things that you genuinely really want in life rather than trying to find fulfillment from things that other people have. Life lesson number nine is to try your best to embrace the challenges in life. I talked about this in my starting over video and I know that it's hard when life happens. Things suck. Losing your job sucks. Sickness in your family sucks. All of it. Like all of these things happen to us and there's not much you can do to control them, to change them or anything like that, but if you learn how to kind of embrace these challenges in life, you'll be able to learn, you'll be able to grow, you'll be able to adapt, you'll be able to find peace in a new life that you maybe didn't think was even possible before. I think that's definitely true for me with facing unemployment. If I hadn't embraced this change, this challenge, I never would have started a YouTube channel. Things suck in the moment, but you never know what good might come of it. Life lesson number 10 is to challenge your mind to learn new things. One of the easiest ways that I like to do this is through like personal development style books. I like to read a lot of those. I like to learn about investing, learn about business, learn about different diets and ways that I can be eating. I think it's interesting because we go through school for 18 years or however long. Some people go for a lot longer than that and all of a sudden we stop learning. We kind of get stuck in just doing our job day over day. We can sometimes forget like how powerful it is to learn new things and grow. It doesn't have to be like through listening to books like I do, but it could be through learning a new sport, picking up a new hobby, anything really. You could teach yourself a new language. It doesn't matter. Just challenge yourself to learn new things. Life lesson number 11 is to travel and experience new cultures. This one is so, so important to me because I feel like when I go and I travel and I experienced new cultures, I'm able to understand how other people live their life. I'm able to gain perspective on my own life. It really helps me kind of truly value all of the things that I do have in my life. It makes me very grateful for my house, my family, my dog, all sorts of things. It can just be very, very eyeopening. It can help you have a better grasp on society. It can help you form better opinions about your own life. So yeah, do your best to travel, experience cultures, experience the world. There is just so much out there that most of us don't know about and it's on the other end of a flight. Life lesson number 12 is that I'm finding that memories are worth more than possessions. For me, this kind of goes back to the last one with traveling. I am at a point right now where I would rather spend my money on a trip to go experience a new culture, see a new country, try new foods and things like that, over buying a new car or, I don't know, like things for the house or stuff like that. I mean, every person is different, but think about the things that you really, really want. And for me, that is memories, experiences. I want to experience things with my family. I want to experience things with my husband. And in 50 years from now, will I care about a Louis Vuitton bag or will I care about remembering that amazing experience I had with my husband while we were in Africa or wherever? That's the way that I think about it. I know everyone is different, but my point is that for me, memories are worth so much more than possessions and I want to be spending my money on that. Life lesson number 13 is to do the things that actually make you happy. For me, this is something that I felt very strongly about like a little bit over a year ago, year and a half ago when Chris and I made the decision to move to Vegas. Originally, it wasn't specifically Vegas, but I wanted to move somewhere that was really sunny. I was feeling very depressed by the weather in Seattle. Every single winter, it was like at least six months long, if not like nine months long. And it was really, really getting to me from a mental perspective. I wanted to try out living somewhere really sunny and see if that like helped out my mental health. And it has. That was a really hard decision because we have family in Washington. Our close friends were in Washington. Like my niece is up there. I didn't want to leave that, but I also had to think about myself and what I needed to do to make me the happiest. In this case, it was to move to a sunnier location. For some people, it might be starting a new job or I don't know, breaking up with somebody that they shouldn't be with or cutting a friend out of their lives. I don't know. Whatever it is, do the things that you need to do to be happy because ultimately at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is your happiness. Life tip number 14 is to drink water. If you guys have been following my channel, you know I drink a lot of water. I have like, I think like four nalgenes a day, which is like four liters or about a gallon. Water is literally so important for every single bodily function. If you're not drinking enough water, you could be dehydrated and not even know it. Drinking enough water can help improve your joint pain. It's good for skin elasticity as we age. It physically helps your like blood move through your body as well as all of your organs functioning. I think somebody once described it to me as like the oil in your car. Your car needs oil to keep all of the parts physically moving. That's how our body needs water. I have been drinking tons and tons of water since high school. It started because I was on a cross country team and everyone had the nalgenes and I wanted one too. So I got a nalgene and ever since then I've drank a lot of water. Life lesson number 15 is to treat my body with the respect that it deserves. For me, this means drinking water like I was just talking about. Eating high quality foods that make me feel good. Having a good skincare routine. Taking care of my face, my body, all of it. We are given one body in this life so I think that we should treat it with respect and do everything that we can do to prolong its life. And when I give my body like high quality tasty food, I feel good and it's just this like feedback loop. So treat my body with respect and ultimately that will just like make you feel better, feel happier and who doesn't want that? Life lesson number 16 is to move my body. So obviously I have gotten really into lifting weights and that started in like 2017 I think, like right around when Chris and I started dating. Overall, I have found that on days where I'm getting steps in, I'm moving my body, whether that be going for a run, going to the gym, whatever, I just feel better inside. I feel better mentally. I feel like I have a clearer mind. I don't feel sluggish. It like sometimes even helps to wake me up and walking and moving your body can actually help prolong your life by reducing fat, keeping your organs healthy and all of that. So for me, walking, moving my body are just like crucial parts of my day that are non-negotiable and are truly so, so important to me. Life lesson number 17 is that your time is your most precious resource. This one has become so important to me over these last couple of months after I've been laid off, after I'm thinking about going back to a new job, as I'm applying to jobs. I do not want to go back to a company where I feel miserable. I was working different jobs prior to getting laid off and there were a few different jobs that I was in where I truly like did not want to go to work. I was miserable every single workday. I had the Sunday scaries every week and that is just like not a life that I want to live. We are given one life. Our time is incredibly valuable and precious. I don't want to waste that. I think this is also true for the people that you're spending your time with or the things that you're going to, the events that you're going to, just all of those things. You have to realize how valuable your time is. You'll never get a day back. You will never get a year back. Remember that your time is like one of your most valuable resources, if not the most valuable resource that you have and use it wisely. Life lesson number 18 is basically like quality over quantity and I feel like this is true in every aspect of my life. This is something that I'm still very much working on too, which is like food. For example, quality of food is more important to me than quantity. I think about this with friendships. I have a couple really, really solid friends here in Vegas and to that point, like it becomes so much more important to have high quality friendships over tons of friends like we did in high school. Same goes for the things that I buy. Lululemon is a great example of this because I have had like the same pair of black leggings for like eight years and they're high quality. Yeah, I spent $100 on them, but I've only had to buy one pair. So I'm thinking about this with not only the food I'm eating, the people in my life, but also like possessions I'm buying. I want things to last and I want them to be high quality. Life lesson number 19 is that gratitude and staying present in the moment are like the most powerful tools I think for reducing anxiety, reducing depression, and living a happier life. This is one that I'm working on every single day. I struggle with anxiety. It's something that is ever present for me. So one way that I try to reduce it is I literally look at the things around me and I ask myself, like, is there anything actually wrong in this exact moment right now? No, I am healthy. I have a beautiful house. Like I'm sitting outside in the sunshine. You know, I have a great husband. I have the best dog. All these little things add up and focusing on the things that you do have, positive things in your life and physically being present in the moment instead of like letting your mind wander about what could happen, what has happened in the past, et cetera. Like that is such a powerful tool if you can master it to truly living a happier life. Life lesson number 20 is that sleep is very important. Sleep impacts every single aspect of our lives, whether it be decision-making abilities, being able to have coherent thoughts, being able to have productive strategic conversations, being able to be creative, being able to focus. Every single thing comes back to how well you're sleeping. For some reason, when it comes down to like working a busy life, having a lot going on, cutting out sleep is like the first thing that people do. They're like, oh, I'll just like wake up early and work on this project. It's no big deal or it's fine. I can stay up late and study or whatever, but you actually need sleep in order to be more effective with your time, to get more done at work, to be able to remember things and study better. I used to definitely like pull a lot of late nights in college, even in my early 20s. But now that I'm 30 years old, I am realizing how important sleep is for my functionality, for being a nice human being. Sleep is the most important thing. Do what you need to do in order to get a full night's sleep. Just give it a shot for like a couple of weeks and see if anything changes. Life lesson number 21. I only have 10 more for you guys. So this one is to connect with nature. I know not everyone out there is like super into outdoorsy things like camping and hiking and that type of thing. You don't have to go be super outdoorsy to connect with nature. I personally think that connecting with nature and therefore like disconnecting from technology really helps to ground me. Sometimes this just means like going for a walk. We have a little trail by our house and it's so nice. Even though it's like in our neighborhood, there's houses around and stuff. When I'm on those walks, I'm really like focusing on the trees and how pretty the trees look and the grass and the plants and the flowers and I'm looking up at the sky and I'm looking at the clouds and what I'm not doing is I'm not looking at my phone. This is like one of my favorite things to do when I'm feeling anxious, when I'm feeling stressed, when I'm feeling down in general. Going for walks outside, being in nature, just looking at trees genuinely helps my mental health, my mindset, and makes me feel happier. Life lesson number 22 is self-care. Again, this one is something I feel like I've been learning over the last couple of months after getting laid off. I feel like I have had more time to practice self-care and I put more value on it. By doing these little things, whether it be like one big self-care day where I do like a face mask, a hair mask, a bubble bath, paint my nails, whatever, like a whole big day like that can really help me reset and feel good about myself. And by practicing self-care, you're therefore like creating a better mindset for yourself to make decisions about things that are going on in your life, whether it be like about a job, career, relationship, whatever. And also just self-care makes you just feel better. That's why I like to get my nails done every couple of weeks is it just makes me feel more put together. It makes me feel like I've got my life together even if I maybe don't. So yeah, just do little things that help you feel like you're taking care of yourself and see how big of a difference that that could make. Life lesson number 23, this one is maybe one of my favorite ones on this list, which is to laugh. I feel like laughter is the cure all. When I'm in a bad mood, Chris makes me laugh and it really does help turn my mood around. Surround yourself with people that make you laugh, that are funny, that make you have fun. You know, all of those things are so important and I think laughter literally is the best remedy. So find ways to make yourself laugh, whether that be through shows, books, friends, whatever. But just remember how important it is to laugh. Life lesson number 24 is to set achievable goals for yourself. I feel like this is something that I kind of have started doing with the creation of my YouTube channel because I started doing these monthly reset videos where I'm setting monthly goals for myself and I'm actually writing them down and thinking about them every single week and month. By setting these little goals for myself, then when I achieve them, I'm like, wow, I actually achieved something that I wanted to achieve this month. Whether it be reading a certain amount of books or getting to the gym a certain amount of times or whatever, I'm setting achievable goals for myself and then I do achieve them. It creates this positive feedback loop that is almost self-validating of, I can accomplish these things that I set my mind to. I am good at X, Y, and Z. I can be productive. I am effective with my time. And it ultimately just creates this cycle of self-esteem boosting, if that makes sense. I set these goals for myself every single month that I pretty much know I'm going to achieve. I pretty much always think I can read a certain amount of books every month. I pretty much know I'm going to go to the gym at least three days per week. So I set those goals for myself and that way when I achieve them, it's a little self-esteem boost. Life lesson number 25 is to stop caring about what other people think. This is a hard one and this is one that I'm still working on, but the sooner you can let go and not give about what other people think, the sooner you'll live a happier life. Whether that be how you do your hair, how you do your makeup, what car you drive, whatever. Do I think people think I am crazy for having a YouTube channel? Yeah, probably. They're probably like, that's not a real form of income, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what other people think. It matters what I think, what makes me happy, what I want to do. And the sooner you can let go of what other people think and care about, the sooner you will live a happier and more fulfilling life. Life lesson number 26 is to call your family or whatever people that you have deemed your family. Stay connected to those people. At the end of the day, at the end of your life, your family is all you have really. Of course, like I said, there are going to be friends in life that you consider family and that's great. And I'm talking about those people too, but call them, call your parents, call your siblings, call your nieces and nephews, check in on them and make sure that you connect with those relationships because at the end of the day, those are the only people that truly matter. Life lesson number 27 is pets are the best, especially dogs for me because I'm very much a dog person. It is kind of crazy to me how much pets and again, for me, dogs specifically have impacted my life. They are just the best. Like if you don't have a pet, you've never had a pet. I can't recommend it enough, but I will say as a caveat disclaimer, before you get a pet, make sure that you are physically capable of managing the responsibility. But having a dog has changed my life. Pets just teach you so many lessons in life, like how to have unconditional love. They give you a sense of companionship, especially if you live alone. They're just truly like the best thing ever. I don't even know what to say. I just, I just love my dog so much. She's the best. She makes me happy having her wag her tail and jump on us when we get home from the gym or wherever, like the level of excitement that she has, just like if we're able to feed off of it and it makes us happier. So pets are just the best and you should get one. Life lesson number 28 is that you are on your own timeline in life. I think it can be really easy to compare like where you're at in life to other people, like feel like you're behind or something because other people are married. Other people have kids. Other people own a house. Other people have these crazy high paying jobs and you're pretty much never on the same timeline as anyone else. You're on your own timeline. So just remember that you are on your correct path. You're not behind. You just haven't gotten to that point in your life yet. Life lesson number 29, this is especially true for marriage, is that people cannot read your mind. The sooner you can learn how to communicate your feelings, what's stressing you out, even if it's like, I don't actually know why I'm stressed or I don't actually know why I'm upset or anxious right now. I always do my best to tell Chris like, I don't know why I'm in a bad mood, but I am. So just like maybe stay clear and on that note, like also being able to communicate when things are frustrating you, like especially in marriage and living with a partner, communicating when like you really value things like them helping with the dishes or things like that. People cannot read your mind. People come from different backgrounds in life. They were raised in different ways. And the only way that somebody will understand what's going on in your mind is if you tell them. And my last life lesson for 30 things I've learned in my 30 years is to have fun. Don't take life too seriously. I think this is one I personally, again, am still working on. I think being married to a person who is so fun and likes to just like have fun all the time helps me to not take life too seriously and have fun. So do your best to surround yourself with people that do that. If this one doesn't come naturally to you, ultimately, like at the end of the day, I want to look back on my life and say like, yeah, I had a good time. Not wow. I was like really stressed the whole time. Don't take life too seriously. And we're just, we're just going to have a good time. Well, you guys, that was basically it. I just wanted to celebrate me turning 30 and share some like life tips that I've gained over my 30 years on this planet with you guys. Hopefully you found it helpful. Let me know if you resonate with any of those life lessons and if you feel like you've learned them as well. Or if you have any other ones that are super important to you that I didn't touch on, I would love to hear any other life lessons, life learnings out there from people. But that is basically it. That was a fun little sit down, chit chat, shared a little bit of some life talks. And I really hope that if you do start implementing some of these tips, that they maybe help you out in life a little bit, help you feel a little bit happier, more fulfilled, less anxious, all those things. So let me know if you give any of them a shot and how they work out for you. But that is it, you guys. I hope you enjoyed this video. If you did, make sure to give it a little thumbs up and I will check in with you guys next time.