Young Washington Movie Review

I had a couple different intros in mind for Young Washington. I'm just gonna go ahead and do both of them. From the studio that brought you The Sound of Freedom, you know the film that opened everyone's eyes to the fact that there's child trafficking going on. Before that movie no one had even an inkling that it was taking place. Truly a touchstone film, the YouTube comments had informed me. Well they're back baby with their most expensive film to date, I presume, called Young Washington. This 4th of July, dust off that powdered wig, clean out that musket, because it's time to lock the **** in with Young Washington, a movie that sets the standards for wartime historical pics for years to come. Is it accurate? Absolutely not. Is it filled with some total BS? You better believe it buster, but it makes for a one hell of a ride. So while you're getting ready to light off those fireworks, remember where it all started. Remember the man, the myth, the legend that set the standard for presidents to come. With his honor, with his dignity, with the way that he treats everyone around him. He's no better, he's an equal, he's a statesman, he's honest, he's hard working, he's youthful. You know, everything we still look for today from a president. So if you're an American, you better bust off that red, white, and blue flag mister. You better look to the sky, find a bald eagle, tip the hat in remembrance of the guy who really put this place on the map. I'm of course talking about... Yeah, this movie's dumb. Um, I'm not gonna beat around the penis. Listen, here's the deal, this film is so freaking hilariously bad in the final act of the movie, it's almost a shame that the first 90 minutes are so blah. What we're dealing with is a historical film about George Washington, a young Washington as it were, who's gonna find his place in this topsy-turvy world as a general. He's actually gonna climb the ranks very quickly, almost comically fast. Starting out as your basic run-of-the-mill, on-the-line soldier to a full-blown general. Now, if you were hoping for a film that's gonna follow George Washington from youth all the way to adult, you're gonna have to wait for the sequels because this feels like it's part of a grander America cinematic universe, the ACU of course. In fact, this movie takes place from 1753 to 1755, just a few year window where we get to see this guy in all of his glory. Unfortunately, because of the time frame, we are not going to get the iconic moment where Washington cuts down that cherry tree, but we do get a tease or two for a future cherry tree chop down as we do see kid Washington with a hatchet, furiously chopping at one of those because he's upset about something. So kind of a, you know, a precursor to what's to come. Little tease. My only disappointment with it, well, I have a lot of disappointments with this, but one of the biggest disappointments is we did not have a cliffhanger ending, to my knowledge, I left, where we have, you know, like a Nick Fury type come out and say, my men have told me of a tall man up north who cannot tell a lie. We think he would be the perfect man to join our cause. His name? Abraham Lincoln. Skee dee dee dee dee dee George Washington will return in young Lincoln. I don't know if Abraham Lincoln's from the north as it were, but that just sounded cool when I said it. I also don't know a lot about George Washington. So it was nice going to a movie in the hopes to learn a thing or two. And I learned a thing or two. I can also sniff out bullshit from a million miles away, and there's plenty of it here. We'll get into it and I'll touch on it later in the film. As it stands though, like I said, the first 90 minutes is just kind of humdrum going along with the motions. You've seen war movies done far more entertaining and better in the past. The Patriot comes to mind. This felt like a Patriot movie on a budget without the excitement or the spectacle. It tries to be grounded to be fair for the first, like I said, 90 minutes, but then the wheels come off later. I'm not just going to dog on this movie outright. There are positives. Number one, it is a good looking movie. It's very easy on the eyes, some very pretty shots, some cool visuals overhead flying over the uncharted territories that George Washington's going to have to map out. There's also some heavy hitters in this movie. We got Kelsey Grammer here. We got Ben Kingsley. We they each make a million dollars from Angel Studios to get the hell out of Dodge. It was still nice to see them show up. Kingsley over the top as all hell. I don't know what Kelsey Grammer's doing with the accent he's trying to provide, but it was entertaining for sure. And we also have Mary Louise Parker playing Mother Washington. Mary, Mary Washington, of course. There's also a character named Sally Carey that's in the mix once in a while for kind of a love interest thing that doesn't go anywhere. Odd character to throw in, I suppose, for history buffs. This is special to you. But for me, I'm like, who is this woman? Why have we spent several scenes with her? And why is there absolutely no closure at all? She just disappears from the film. Let's talk about the real star here, though. And that's our boy, George Washington, played by William Franklin Miller. Ladies and some men, if you're looking for a hot, sexy, young George Washington, you've come to the right place. It's like they had this machine set up and they grabbed Robert Pattinson. They put him in there. They grabbed Heath Ledger. They mixed him in. And what they came out with was this young, fresh-faced Adonis of a man. A man that's got fault. He doesn't know much about how to win a war, but he sure as hell is gonna try, damn it. And that's really the crux of the film, is following young Washington and his aspirations to be a great leader. This man came from little means. I mean, sure, the family had thousands of acres of land and owned over 50 slaves. But really, this is a story about a guy who did it on his own, his own way. And his stepbrother would be his mentor, his guide, his North Star. That would eventually lead him to become the first president of the United ******* States of America. Hoorah! Now, there is a central conflict taking place in this movie. It's a, it's a tinderbox that's about to blow. There is a lot of land in the Ohio Territory that has not been properly claimed. So the French, of course, want it. The British want it. And the Indians are plump in the middle. Sounds like a hot three-way, if you ask me. Not so much for the British though, as they have zero confidence that they can get this done the right way. So, they're gonna go ahead and use George Washington as a scapegoat. This young, fiery kid who's got a lot to prove and everything to lose. They send his ass out there with a small band of brothers to try to negotiate some sort of an agreement. And by negotiate, I mean talk to the French and say, get the **** out of here. This does not go well. And the Frenchman's like, oh, you think you can come down here and scare my men away? I can't do accents. I do movies. Young Georgie boy does not back down from a fight though. And they get their asses kicked. And then he backs down from a fight, heading back home, tail between his legs. And he talks to his mom, who's kind of, you know, giving the sage advice. You know, like she's Peter's aunt in Spider-Man. I believe there's a hero in all of us. And George is going to give it one more college try without even having a college experience. He heads back out there and he gets his merry men together and the British army and says, let's ******* go to war. Yeah, this time I'm gonna let it all come out. Pulls out the double muskets. That's not far from what happens in the final act. I ---- you not, this thing goes so hilariously dumb. I was laughing like a little school boy with my buddy in this packed theater as George Washington single-handedly runs out into combat, explosions on either side of him, musket in hand, pulls out the hatchet. He's riding on horseback, dodges a cannonball at one point. People keep asking if I'm Washington. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm Washington. There was a point where one random black dude's like, I got gunpowder for everyone. And George is like, yes, good. The slave found some gunpowder. Uh, I'm not a slave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a better idea. And then he takes the guy and uses him as a human shield. Whoa, what the ****? What? Thank you, slave. Okay. That part didn't happen, but that would have been highly entertaining. Instead, we get something so insanely crazy. You might find it in the history books after they're done replacing everything in them in the next few years. I ---- you not, this is a scene in the film strap in Georgie boys out in the field. The Indians pop out who are fighting for the French. They all have guns drawn. Washington musket in hand clicks, but nothing fires like that would have made a difference. There's like eight dudes pointing guns at him. What was he going to do? Spread that buckshot and kill everyone at what? Wow. He probably would the Indians reply back. They all open fire. Washington virtually unscathed. How is this possible? Well, we're going to find out in the following scene. As an Indian comes down from the mountains, you there come with me. They walk up the Hill. He sees the rest of the tribe. What is your name? White man. He didn't say white man, but that would have been funny. Washington goes, my name is George Washington. Legends say that there will be a leader that will come along that will be untouched by our weapons. They white savior his ass. I kid you not. This is a scene in the movie. Washington's up on this Hill with Indians around him. And they essentially tell him he was chosen by God to become the president one day. This is high level propaganda. It's amazing. I kept turning to my buddy as this movie was playing. And every time like a prominent actor would show up like a Kingsley or a grammar. And I said, under their breath, they should mutter. That man's going to be president someday. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen, but they all are thinking it. They're all, they're all thinking it soundtrack wise. There's nothing special going on here. There's a generic score. You know, it's very uplifting. Hey, that's that's Lord of the Rings. The action scenes competently executed. There's not a single like exciting shot in the movie. It's all just done very by the books. Nothing's insulting outside of the final action scene where Washington's just on a tear. The acting outside of some of the terrible accents perfectly fine as well. This is the quintessential movie that's on in the background on a Sunday afternoon, and you're too lazy to turn the channel, but you're definitely not sitting there watching this ******* thing. It's just noise in the background in between recording here. I did take the time to look up the angel studios budget for this film and the reporting at between 30 to 35 million. It is not the largest budget film they've ever done that goes to David, which is an animated movie that was supposedly around 60 million dollars. I did not check out David, so I can't speak to the quality of that one. I can only speak to young Washington, and as it stands, it was incredibly lame, very generic, and absolutely insulting to the audience's intelligence by how some of this plays out. I don't expect one-to-one historical accuracy, but get out of here with this Indian bullshit where they seek the counsel of their higher gods, and they said, yep, this is the guy. This is the dude. Oh, I also don't believe that George Washington rode solo on horseback and killed like 15 dudes on his own, but we all have our fetishes, I suppose. Let me know if you checked out young Washington. I sure as hell hope you did if you're a patriot, and please, if you did, let me know in the comments your thoughts on this film, and if you're excited for the American cinematic universe. I think the first couple phases will go pretty well with people, but once phase five or six kicks in, things are going to get a little messy, I feel like. Let me know in the comments. Please think of liking and subbing to the show Adam Does Movies. I would appreciate it. It's free. It's free of charge. It doesn't cost you a dime, and I hope to see you for the next one. All right, now if you excuse me, I gotta go fire up the grill, throw some burgers and brats on, throw some brewskis in a cooler, and set them on the back of my pickup truck bed while I'm blasting Nickelback from the radio, because that's what freedom is, people. I assume this is going to be part of the George Washington trilogy of films, kind of like Captain America. You have young Washington, you have Washington's civil war, and then maybe we jump to George Washington D-Day. It's not going to be historically accurate in the slightest, so it's going to fit right in with young Washington. Thanks again for watching the video. If you didn't know, I'm a one-man operation here at Adam Does Movies. I also have a full-time job. I got a family to take care of, and I would absolutely love if you supported me on patreon.com slash adamdoesmovies like these beautiful people did here. These are the silver and gold members. 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