Raising Grateful Kids In An Entitled World A Message From Dr Conway Edwards

Now here we go, for the, of heaven is like a, stop right there. The landowner in the story is God. God is the landowner. Everybody say, God is the landowner. Good, ready? Who went out early in the morning to hire for his, all right? Who are, the laborers are me and you. Look at the person next to you and say, laborers are you. Good. So who's God? Landowner. Who are the laborers? Me and you. Good, good, good. You got it. And he went out early in the morning. Verse two, here we go. Verse two says, when he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius for the day, he sent them into, whose vineyard? Whose vineyard? Good, God. So here's what's happening. God says, I'm going to pay you $100 for a day's work. A day starts six in the morning, ends at 6 p.m. at night. For 12 hours, I'm going to give you $100. Say, thank you, God. Good, now let's see what happens. Verse three, and he went out about the, and saw others standing in the, what were you doing before God came and called you? What were you doing when you were purposeless? What were you doing when you were gossiping, yapping, chatting, standing? Good. First watch. He says, that's this group right here, to the, where we're sitting, to the right, my right, your left, that's them, right? You started work at 6 a.m. in the morning. That's when you started. What time you started? 6 a.m. Good. Another group, let's send, let's send a group or the group now in the middle. You guys started at, what time you said? The third hour, which is 9 a.m. What time did you start? Good. Now, God says, I'm going to pay you $100 for all day. Then he says, you guys, I'm just going to get you a standing idol. Ain't nobody wanting to talk to you. He came up, he touched you, and he said, come work in my vineyard. Let's see what the rest of the text says. Next one, verse number four, here we go. Text says, and to those, he said, you also go into the vineyard, and whatever is ripe, I will give you my, my, my, my, my. Next verse, verse five. Again, he went out about the end of hour and did, you all started at 6 a.m., you all started at 9, you all started at noon, and you all started at 3. And he says, none of you deserve me calling you, but I called you to come work in my vineyard. So, whether you're working from 6 a.m., how long you all working at 9 a.m., noon, or what? 3 p.m., all of y'all, you are and should be grateful that you got a job. If you're grateful that you have a job, let's give it up for God, everybody. Oh, I'm setting you up. Oh, I'm setting you up. Here we go, verse number six, what he said, and about the, he went out and found others, what were you doing? All of y'all in the back, what were you doing? Somebody said, it is now, it is now 5 o'clock, and somebody says, you come over here, and I want to give you a job, and I want you to go to work too. 5 o'clock, how much time they have to work, everybody? 1 hour is all they got to work. How long y'all working? 12 hours. How long y'all working? 9 hours. How long y'all working? 6 hours. How long y'all working? 3 hours, but the rest of them get to work 1 hour. But guess what? Everybody got a job. Anybody grateful for a job? No, you need to clap. Anybody grateful for a job? Good. Ah, so here's what he said to the one before the 11th hour, y'all, here's what he said to you, he said, and he said to them, why have you been standing here? Now, what you doing again? You're standing what? You have no purpose, no direction, no nothing, no meaning to life, nothing bigger than you, you idle standing there, and at the 11th hour, he says, I know the sun's going down, but by grace, feels mercy toward you, so I'm going to call you, and I'm going to give you a job. Come on over here with me. Now, what in the world happened next? Verse number 7, here we go. And they said to him, because no one had hired him, he said to them, you go into the vineyard, all right? Verse 8, when evening came, the owner of the vineyard, who's that again? Good, said to his foreman, call the labor, who's that again? Us, good, and pay them their wages, beginning, whoa, hold on, hold on, hold on. He's going to set you up now. Here we go. He says, I don't operate like all of you, I operate differently. I'm not starting with the first, I'm starting with the last. What did he say? Beginning with the group, to the, so I don't want you to go, say with 6, 9, 12, 3, 1, because now, I want you to go 1. Come on, and then, good, here we go. Here we go, to all the entitled people in the world, let's talk. Next verse, when those hired about the 11th hour came, each one received a, each one of them get $100. Anybody who worked for one hour got $100. Whoa, whoa, I work one hour, and I get how much? What a great God. Why y'all up there not dancing yet? Come on, next verse, verse 10. This Bible is so good, this is why you need to read it. When those hired first, okay, stop, don't read no more. What you think you're going to say? Thank you, oh master, for giving me $100 and working all 12 hours. It's so good, isn't that good? Let me do another. That's what they're killing, because they were hired, it was not about them, and they should have been grateful for what they had, but they're not going to be. You know why they're not going to be? Because they look old, and they look on social media, and somebody told them, that somebody only worked one hour, and got $100. Let's see what the text says. Text says, text says, when those who hired first, they thought that they would receive, stop, what are you thinking? We already had an agreement. Why are you thinking? Why are you comparing yourself? And because they got one hour, $100 for one hour, you think you should get $1,200. Everybody see? A privilege has now become a right. Now you're ready to sue the owner. Now you're ready to say, you must not know about me. Now you're ready to say, you must have fooled, you fooled with the wrong one. Whoa, there was an agreement. You said you'd work 12 hours for how much? $100. And why are you showing people your finger? Why are you twirling your hand and your neck at the same time? If you would just be grateful, you would realize how good you got it. But you don't want to do that, because now you in the vineyard, so now you think you deserve. Oh, you're not feeling, okay. They bypassed you and gave somebody else the promotion, and so now you were like, uh-uh, no, no, no, no. I put in the work. Why you aren't giving me what I deserve? Now you're ready to look at God. God, what's wrong with you? I've been paying my tithes, I've been going to church, and still, you're going to let this person who's a whirlwind, they don't even love you, and they're getting the promotion, and I ain't getting, the anointed one ain't getting it? Let's see what else happened. They thought that they would receive more, but each of them also received a $100. So they received. When they received it, they, at the, oh, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. God, I've been coming to this church for all of 10 years now. I've been loving you, I've been serving you, I've been worshiping you, and this little girl just got saved two weeks ago, and now she got a man, and she's trying to marry him? What's wrong with you, God? What's wrong with God is, he sees your bad attitude. I know you ain't ready for marriage yet, because you can't celebrate nobody, because you're still confused with your preach, pastor. You may be seated. You may be, I ain't finished with the text yet, but you may be seated. My God, today, here's what happened. When they received it, they what? Come on, everybody, they what? That's what they're doing, they're grumbling. Why are they grumbling? Because they looked on social media. They looked at their LinkedIn page, and saw that somebody got a promotion to a higher level when they came in before them, and when you were higher than them, they now have surpassed you, and said, no, you're grumbling. But you're not just grumbling to God. You're grumbling to everybody else around. That they, they not better than me? I can do their work better than they can? And look where they are now? What is wrong with this situation? And then you have the audacity to grumble to God, instead of saying, God, thank you, because I could have been out there, and I could have not had a job, and I could have still been a laborer out there with no job. You can't even see the goodness of God in your life. So instead, you're comparing yourself with everybody else. You went over to your life group member's house. You see their backyard, and you like their backyard. And you be like, God, why we don't have a backyard like that? And all of a sudden, you complaining, and you fussing that you don't have what they got. Let me help you out. All a kid needs is you spraying some water on them, and make them run all over the place. They don't need the whole pool. Quit paying for all that, and get a little hose, and spray the water on your kids. Be grateful for the water in the hose. Be grateful for the water in your hose, and if you cause some timeout, have a little pool thingy from Walmart that costs $38.99, and get some water, let the kids splash in there. That's what they need. They don't need no fancy jacuzzi. They don't need no fancy lap pool. They don't need no fancy manicured place. Be man of God, because you don't have what you think you have, and appreciate what you do have, which is water coming out of your pot. Because some places, they still have to travel to get water, but not so here. Not because you're better than them, but because of the grace of God. Boy, appreciate that. Lord, have mercy. Anyways, I got more verses. Come here. Verse 12. Lord, have mercy on us. Help us acknowledge God's people. I almost said, help us acknowledge God's people, Lord. Here we go. These last men, listen to their thinking. Listen to how intoxicated with themselves they have become. These last men have worth only one. Turn around and look at them people. Everybody turn around and look at them people in the back. Turn around and look at them people. Them people up there, they only work one hour. Only one hour, God. And you're giving them what? I have worked 12 hours for God. What kind of God are you? And you have made them equal to us. We better than that. We got Louis V. We better than that. We're tripping, God. Give me another one. Gucci. There you go. Gucci. Who have borne the burden and the scorching heat of the day. And you're going to give them and treat them like they're equal to us? No, you got to go talk to my lawyer for this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We don't play this in America. Do what y'all want to do in the rest of the world. In America, we get easy because we got the power. That's 13. But he answered and said to one of them, don't look at the kindness and the mercy of God with your arrogance and attitude. Boy, you can preach that one word. Friend, let me help you, friend. You know, not what you say. Really, if it was me, I said, just shut up and appreciate all that the Lord has done. But Jesus said. That's great right there. He could make you mute so you can't grumble no more. He gets better. Watch it. I am doing you no wrong, am I? I said you're going to get $100 for a day's work. What's the problem here? Did you not agree with me for $100? Is that what we agreed on? I thought, I thought it was the same. What happened? Take what is yours and go. But I wish to give you the last. I wish to give to this last man the same as to you. But I wish to give you. Listen to the question. Is it not lawful for me to do? Here's the phrase, what I wish. Here we go. With what is my own. You can get mad at me because you can't control. You're going to get mad at me because I told you that I was going to give you $100. But because you got nosy and found out what somebody else got. Now you want to blame me when we had an agreement. Is it okay for me to give and bless whoever I want to bless? Why do you want to dictate who I bless and when I bless? And that you should be in the front of the line before they get blessed. Why are you so controlling that you want to control and manipulate everything to your benefit? Are we all right so far? I am shocked that you come back to church sometimes. I am. What's that? I'm going to miss this next one. Or is your eye. Are you looking at somebody? You look at this person here, okay? And all you see is them going to vacation after vacation after vacation. It ain't even once a year. It's like four times a year. This joker's going to vacation. They go to Colorado. And then they go to Florida. And then they go to Dubai. And then they go to Paris. And then they all in one year. And I'm still struggling over here. All I can go on is a carnival cruise for $89. I'm sorry. Flesh and blood didn't tell you that, Pastor. Flesh and blood didn't tell you that. I'm looking at everybody else. Go all over the world. All I can afford is a $89.99 special. From carnival for three days. In the Western Caribbean. I'm going to get an email. I'm sorry already. Or is my eye envious? Listen, listen, listen now. Because God, I am so generous. Are you mad at me because I am generous enough to bless people as I please? And all because you perceive me that you don't get the blessing you want. You're complaining against me instead of appreciating all the blessings I have already given. My God today. Here's the problem. I cannot get entitlement out of your kids if I don't get it out of you. Me and you in the same boat. Went down for my daddy's funeral. My mama said, son, you're staying at our house. Said, no, mom, the kids need AC. They're not used to that, mom. So I'm going back in about a month or so. So mom said, son, you're staying with me on this one? Said, no, mom, you staying with me. She says, what's up? What is it this time? Is it the kids? Are they coming? No, mom, just me. She says, so why you can't stay in your old bedroom? Mom, it's too hot. So mom, I'm going to upgrade you. Why don't you come stay where I'm staying, mama? Mom says, son, I'm just grateful that I get to be with you. Yeah, that's what my mama said, not me. My mama's grateful to be with me. You know why? Because I'm going to be stuck in the truck for six hours. Not overnight, not overnight. Anyways, anyways, listen, I'm bringing this up. Number 16, number 16, number 16. Here's what he said. In his, in his economy, for the last, shall be first. And so, what he's trying to suggest to us all, that if we ever increase our gratitude, we will decrease. If you ever look over your life, every single day you look, and instead of saying, I'm mad at the truck, instead you say, I'm glad I'm driving around. Instead of saying, I can't believe this person just took me off. Instead of saying, I am glad I'm not on the train, but I'm in awe. If you will count your blessings more, and stop looking at what God's doing in other people's lives, you will decrease entitlement. But by the way, you know where all this comes from? It comes from, because there's something wrong in our hearts that we don't want to address. See, there's something wrong. And what's wrong is that we think somebody owes us. Ain't that the truth? At the bottom of it is pride, but right up from pride is the fact that we think somebody owes us. First of all, we think we have jealousy because there's something that we think we should get that we're not getting, and so we're jealous because the other person has it. Or we're angry because we think somebody owes us something, including God. We think God owes us something because we deserve to have this by this time. And so there's heatedness and anger in our hearts. And if we don't deal with the fact that nobody owes us nothing, then we're going to be greedy. You know why we're greedy? We're greedy because we think we owe ourselves something, and we should be further along than here. And it's not where we should be. And we're mad about it. And we say, we're going to do something about it, even if it's a sin to do it. So we end up greedy, angry, and jealous, none of which is the fruit of the spirit. But we justify it, and live in entitlement, and turn these privileges that we should consider privileges and be grateful for, and we turn them into rights, and we demand that God give it to us no matter what. And then he says, and then we misquote Scripture, and start talking about, well, God says he'll give me the desires of my heart. He didn't say he'd give you your dirty desires. And a dirty desire is anyone that doesn't have the heart of God behind them, or that has self-centeredness as its focus. And there are too many of us for too long have basked in, well, I can't wait to get there, trying to please people that don't care about us, trying to get stuff done that we think, when we get here, they will like us more, and they're still not going to like us. And it's all because at the heart level, the part nobody sees, there is jealousy, there is greed, I'm going to get even, and I'm going to show her, my ex, I'm going to show my ex that I can do this. Look at me now. And then you go date somebody and marry somebody because your ex was dating somebody, and you wanted to get married before them. To prove to them that you're somebody, and they were just faking it out to laugh at you, and you're going to make a permanent decision in life. Boy, I'm preaching today, Lord have mercy. Go there now, go stay right there, turn around right there, live right there for a moment. I'm moving on. I want you to ask yourself, which one of these three has plagued my heart? Is it jealousy? Is it greed? Is it anger? Do I believe God owes me something? Do I believe somebody else owes me something? Do I believe God owes me something? The one that has plagued me, and the question on the floor today, will you confess that God, I'm so sorry for not appreciating the privileges that I have, and joining that group. So let's just be informal this time, and see how far we get. All right, everybody ready? The back page is on the app, you can get it all there. Jesus teaches on it, here we go. Number one, entitlement is focusing on what you think you deserve. That's what they did. We are not, we are apt to get our privileges and our rights confused. We mix these up all the time. Be grateful for what God has already given us, and you can invite him to bless you with more, but he's not owed it, you're not owed it. Here we go, number two. God distributes everything. It is God that distributes. We're trying to change God's mind to give you a takeaway. We change entitlement by changing our perspective. What does that mean? In other words, we're saying, I'm gonna increase my gratitude. Whenever I think I'm owed something, I'm gonna increase my gratitude. Increase it more and more and more. Number three, here's what it says. Comparison fuels entitlement. Every time you look over and you're looking at somebody else's life, it fuels, it's what makes you feel, I deserve this, I am owed this, I need this as a part of my life. Therefore, here's the definition of this thing called entitlement. The belief that your privileges are actually your rights. The belief that your privileges are actually your rights. That's what it is. If we can't get it out of us, it will not be out of our kids. When they have an attitude because they don't get to go first, when they have an attitude, all entitlement, you don't get to go first just because you don't have to go first. Nobody owes you going first. Here we go. What are the faces of entitlement? What's it look like? Number one, an attitude of being special. One day, the person had two daughters, true story, and they went into, when they got an office, they went into the movie room and they start telling the maids, hey, get me some popcorn, hey, get me some soda, hey, get me some this, hey, get me some that, and the mom heard it and the mom came into the room and the mom said, excuse me, everybody stop. They don't work for you. They work for the people that serve here. You don't serve here, you get to go to school here. Therefore, don't ask them one more time for the tenure that we're here to do anything for you. They don't cater to your needs. You know why the mom was doing that? Because she knew what would happen when they leave that White House and they go into the real world and they're going to expect that the real world will cater to them like these servants had catered to them and all she was establishing earlier, you ain't nothing. Calm down and go get your own popcorn, go get your own pop, go get your own water. Nobody caters you to girls. Why? Because she's trying to establish you do not have an entitlement period because it will kill you later on in life. Number two, secondly, watch this, an attitude of being old or deserving something. You walked around and said everybody's supposed to cater to you. Jesus is the chief servant. Mark 10 45. I didn't come to be served. I came to serve. You're a believer. Nobody has to cater to you. And even if people get catered to you, you must resist it a lot. Why? Not because you don't have to, but because you want to have a spirit of readiness, not entitlement. Even if, yes, I promise you it's the greatest thing to do to sell yourself. I know I can do that, but I'm going to force myself to just be grateful for something. There we go. Number three, and number three says a denial of one's impact on others. When people just think they're so, they're so foul, they're so loud, they're so, so many different things that other people are uncomfortable around them. And they think just because they show up, everybody should cater to their needs. You have to think of the other person. And then number four, basis of entitlement is a refusal to accept responsibility. You don't own it. You try to deny it. You try to, well, my intentions were good, but I had the right heart. Well, my heart was fine. No, no. You need to own your problem and not try to pass it off to anybody. Yeah. How do we do this as parents? As we get to turn our page. Here we go. How do we do this as parents? Number one, problems that drive it. Praising kids. Praising what takes no effort. They didn't have none to do that. They were born like that. They didn't have none to do it. To praise them for what they do, not how they look. The problem with some of you is you walk around like you floating on air. Hey, I have arrived. Hey, look at me. I'm the one you were looking for your whole life. And because of that, your kids saw what you did. So they do the same thing. Isn't it sad when your kids do stuff like that? Number two, praise what is required. Praising your kids. Yeah. Glory to God. They got up on time. Here we go. Number three, praising what is not specific. Thank you. You got a great game today. No, you did great. Not just generality, because that created that. They just walked around thinking, oh, yes, in our game, again, in our soccer league, we have about 10 teams now. Pretty cool to watch. And some of our boys were doing better. A dad touched one of them. And then these boys started talking about when they scored, they scored the third goal. They're talking about, oh, yes, you talk, you talk, you talk. All of y'all get off the field. Let them score two goals. Just cause y'all have an arrogant spirit. Then they said, well, what did he do to us? I said, his behavior don't determine your behavior. Oh, can I get a witness, somebody? Their behavior don't determine our behavior. You'd be like, oh, yes, it does. There's an amount of food. I'm going to have to go to the bathroom. Therein lies our problem. Because parents think they can just do whatever. Parents think you fight a spirit with the same spirit. Here we go, number four. Praise what takes an ability and creates an identity. In other words, if you're praising, man, you're such a great basketball player. And that's all you're praising. And not specifically what they do. Thank you for practicing dribbling for the last 18 months, every day for 15 minutes. That's the specific. Praising what is not based in reality. No, they can't. They can't do anything. There's something specific that God's leading them in that direction. You praise the specificity, the specific thing that they're moving in the direction. Do not tell them, kids, oh, there is nothing you can't do. Lots of things they can't do. I know you heard them parents talking about, oh, I got my baby girl, oh, my baby girl. Oh, she's going to do anything she wants. Calm down. There's a lane that God's placed there and let her run in her lane. Praise God. Here we go. Last one, no praise at all. You know what this means? No praise at all. This is where, listen to me, this is where parents don't bring their kids around. So then the kids get this little attitude about them. So then now, they say, well, I don't need no praise. I'm going to show you. And then they get this persona, this arrogant persona. Since nobody praised me, I'm going to praise myself. And they become monsters. Now we have to be with over time. For real. Here we go. Now, what I'm about to teach you, I am telling you, a lot of adults don't know. Adults don't know how to self-manage themselves. When you see an adult that gets mad because the boss asked them to do something that they didn't like and they slammed the door, walked out, I can't believe, you know how much time I've been there. This is stuff they should have learned when they were kids. That nobody taught them. And now an adult has to fire them for them to learn the lesson. And usually, they still don't learn it. They talk about, well, I'm going to be an entrepreneur. I'm going to be an entrepreneur. That's what I'm going to be, an entrepreneur. No, grow up. Learn to accept no as an answer. But some people are like, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. It's in me. Have a good attitude and maybe you'll get what you're looking for. So here we go. Put your seatbelt on now, everybody. I need you to take notes even if you don't want to on this one. Because if you don't do it for you, do it for your kids. Pill it up for me, please. Self-government, what does that mean? When you're self-managing yourself, walking in the spirit, self-control. Please, please, please listen to this. Being able to determine cause and effect of any given situation. You have to be able to say, if I do this, then this is the effect that's going to happen. If I do this, if I put in the work, maybe I'll make the basketball team. If I study, maybe I'll get an A. If I put in the work, maybe I will be selected to be the one that sings the song. But, and possessing a knowledge of your own behavior so that you can control that. That means I need to know if I put in the work, I'll make the team. I need to know if I put in the work, I get the grade. I need to know that so I can manage my own behavior to get where I want to go. Everybody tracking with me so far? The fruit of the spirit is self-control. Whenever you see somebody twirling around on the floor, that's what it looks like as a baby. You know, it looks like as a grown person. The grown person that's in a life group, that because everybody not catering to their need and don't want them to talk for two hours in the life group, say, I ain't coming back. Y'all mean to me. You don't even want me to talk. Baby girl, you have already talked for an hour. That's what it looks like later on in life. And you don't want anybody to talk to you because you have not been able to govern yourself. Because you haven't been able to walk in the spirit. That's why marriages fail. You know why? Because they don't want to be, well, I've been keeping score for all 18 years of marriage and I have 100 points and they have zero. You know why? Because you've not been able to self-manage yourself and tell yourself, stop. If this is going to work, I can't keep doing it. Because God don't see me doing it. So here we go. So what does it look like to follow instruction? Look at your sermon notes now. Here are the four things you're going to do are basic skills that somebody should have taught you when you were young, which you need to now teach your kids. Because if you don't teach your kids, it's going to be a generational curse that y'all don't know how to follow people. Here we go. Four basic skills. I'll give you five. Number one, no, go back. Four basic skills. Here we go. Number one, follow instructions. Somebody say, follow instructions. That's all I want you to do. Oh my God, just pause. I gave you a directive, go do it. You can't. Number two, second thing I want you to do after you follow instructions is, can you accept no answers and criticism? Can somebody talk about you and share with you some pointers to make you better without you losing your mind? Talking about this is why I don't work for nobody. Ain't nobody can take me. I'm going to do my own self. Number three, after that is accept consequences. Number four, this is my favorite one. Number four, disagreeing appropriately. Can you disagree? No, most people can't do this. Most people can't do this. They cannot disagree appropriately and still be friends afterwards. You have an argument, you say, hey, let me give you an illustration. Hey mom, I thought you said we're going to get ice cream later on today. Yeah, no ice cream today. Mom, can I respectfully disagree? Yeah, please let me hear your argument. Well, mom, you said this morning that if we did these three chores, we would get ice cream today. The last time, help me to understand, the three chores were done. So can you please tell me why we have not earned the ice cream that you said we should have? Because that's what you said. So as mom would say, I think that's a very good argument. You are right. Let's go get ice cream. Why? Because they presented an argument that made sense. When you don't do that and when you don't teach your kids how to do that, now when they have conflicts at school, it becomes, well, hey man, let me get my posse to deal with your posse and we can fight this out. What the heck is going on? Which is why when you have road rage in your car, you're teaching them when you disagree that somebody shouldn't have cut you off. You're teaching Jada, I mean, everybody. Don't look nowhere. Don't look. Just look at me. Don't worry. She's coming up here next. She'll tell you something about it. It always gets even. It's okay. Here's the last one. Hey, listen, we don't ever talk about it until we are caught. You don't talk. Why are we having this conversation when you walk up, I don't know why. I just don't know why. Sit your tail down. And let's talk about it as, ready? It makes sense, everybody? No, let's go to, let's go to the first one. Follow instructions. So the next, the group of triangles under that. Look, let's go. How do you follow instructions? Here we go. Number one, this, I can't even believe I have to say this. Make eye contact with the person. Here's what most of your kids do. They're upstairs playing a video game. Coming. Yeah, not yet. I don't want to come yet. No, I'm not finished my game. Doesn't matter. Not yet. And until it escalates and you have to go say, enough. Turn this off. Or if you don't get it for a week. As opposed to, hey man, let's talk about this. No, you can't talk about it while we're playing. You can't talk about it while you're doing your own thing. We got to look in each other's eyes. Why? Because the relationship matters. Number two. This is my favorite one. Keep a calm face. Keep a calm face, a calm voice, and a calm body. That's, most people can't pass that. Most people can't pass that. Keep a calm face. Yeah, I'm intrigued by what you have to say. Let me hear, yeah, mm-hmm. Okay. All right. Your face. Your body. If you know I'm telling the truth, amen. You don't have to wave your finger. You don't have to twirl your neck. You don't have to run your lip. You must not know about me. Well, let me introduce you to me. You knew that with all them other people, don't they? That's because you didn't have proper. I can't believe I'm talking about your mama. That's because your mama didn't train you well. Tell your mama I'm sorry for talking about it. Number three. Say, following instructions, right? Say okay or ask to disagree appropriately. Number four, do the task immediately. And then number five. Number five is verify that the task is complete to their specification. That's what regular normal people do. People with attitudes don't do that. But that's what we need to train our kids to do. And don't let them get away with not doing it. Don't let them do it. Okay, the next one is accept consequences. What do you do? This is not in your notes. So you have to take these out. Same thing though. Consequences and the last one. Accept no answers and criticism. You need to honor the boundaries. You need to respect other people. And you need to be okay when things don't go your way. It's okay. You need to learn. Here's my favorite phrase. You need to learn to drop it. Change your mind from thinking about it anymore. Let me say it spiritually. Cast your cares upon God and don't take them back up. Because there, by the way, a lot of us struggle with this. Almost all of us. That you have an issue. It doesn't get resolved the way to your satisfaction. And instead of dropping it, you carry it in your heart. And you carry it in your heart so much so that now they think you owe me. Now you're jealous. Now you're angry. Now you're greedy. And you think you've fixed it, but you haven't. You still carry it. And we train our kids to do that. Instead of teaching them early, I need you to drop it. Think about something else. Go eat something. Go run a lap. But don't think about it no more. Move on. Everybody say this. Move on. Now two more times. Move on. Last time. Move on. You got it. The third one. Accept consequences. Here's what it says. Look at the person. Same thing. Keep a calm face. And then say, okay, is it okay to disagree? Do the consequences. Check back with the person. Say this with me. Drop the subject. Two times. Drop the subject. Last time. Drop the... Just drop it. Don't carry it. Don't keep records. Drop it. The next one. Last one is disagreeing appropriately. Same thing. Look at the person in the face. Keep a calm face. Body and voice. Say they understand the other person's point. Oh my God. This shouldn't be rocket science. Do you understand it? Do you know my next series? My next series is called Stalemate. We started not next week, but we got it. Stalemate. You know what I'm doing? 87. Listen to this stat. 87% of Americans, 87, cannot share their own views because they're afraid. 87% of us, because you're afraid that somebody's not going to like you because you're afraid that somebody's going to talk about you because you're afraid of what? You got an opinion. Can I disagree appropriately? And if they think, quit letting social media and all these podcast people let you fight each other. You're the body of Christ. We walk in the spirit. If somebody disagrees, it's okay. Guess why? God is still in control. Oh my gosh. By the way, just so you know, parents gotta go far. We got some politicians. This we call them. Hey, can I come to your church? I want to be able to just be saying. I said, no, you can't. Bye. Well, you don't come in January next year when ain't nobody voting for nothing. That's why you need to come. But until then, we're talking about Jesus. If you're lifting up the name of Jesus, you can come. Until then, we got enough people politicizing everything else. We are simply trying to walk in the spirit. And if you come in here, either one of y'all come in here, then one person not going to like you, and you're going to raise all kinds of foolishness up in here. Goodbye. Bless you. Amen. Now drop the subject. I got to go. I'm done. 10 ways to raise grateful kids and not entitled kids. Everybody ready? I'm going to give you these 10, and then we're done. Number one, you have to model gratitude. You and I have to model gratitude. If we're not grateful in every situation, our kids won't be. Model contentment. If you're not content, meaning I am grateful for what I have, and if God never blesses me with anything else, I'm good all by myself. Number three, remind them of the importance of relationships. Number four, show your kids. Oh my gosh, show your kids true poverty. Sometimes it's going to be hard for you because you don't like it, but you got to show them. Just take the dark rail. Let's go down there. Let somebody that smells bad sit beside you and don't move. Stay there and hold your breath. Show your kids are giving heart. Require your kids to... Oh my gosh. Require your kids to do something. They're not just coming in and eat your food and go to sleep and play games and go back. No, let them do... Give them something to do. Your parents did it to you. You know what? Your parents weren't even there. You had to do it because they were working while you... Now you're so sedated. You're at home working from home. So your kids don't get to do nothing. Next one. Four more. I have the courage to say no. Encourage your kids to serve others. Allow kids to solve... This is for me. Allow kids to solve problems independently. You don't have to always be there. And be willing to be different. Come on up here, man. Let me end with this. I'm done. Everybody listen to me. Can I tell you the real reason why? I'll tell you when to start pouring, man. Can I tell you the real, real reason why? We have entitled kids because parental pain threshold. Because we can't take pain, we don't allow our kids to go through difficulties. Because when it's tough for the kids, we say, that's too much. That's too much. Just take it, right? Let me explain it to you. Don't pour it yet. Hold on, man. Oh, you started already? Okay, you're good, you're good, you're good. Go ahead. Know what's happening. Your kids won't feel the pain until you get to a threshold. And then you can allow them to feel something. Let me give you a story. Pastor Luke this week, his kid, the young son. His young son has some candy. Got a lot of candy. He was throwing up his candy to take it to school. Throwing his candy on his way out. His wife says, his sister asked him for some. He says, no, I'm not giving any of my candy. His mom said, give your kid, give your sister some of the candy. He said, no, mom, I've been saving this. His mom asked him one more time. Please give your kid, your sister some candy. He said, no. His daddy says, since you want to act grown and tell your mom in a defiant way, no. His daddy said, you have two choices. Either throw all the candy away in the trash or get a spanking. Which one is it? This is not an evaluation of parenting. Don't miss the point. He decides he's going to throw it away in the trash because he doesn't want the spanking. Listen to me now. His mama, the one who started it, got soft. And his mama says, go in the back door. Hey, can we give him when he's, when we take him to school, can we give it to him before he goes to school? Because I don't want him to feel, you know, that he tried to save his first friend. I know he's not going to have anything to give to them. Mamas, mamas, if you can't handle the pain, stay out of the pipe. Come here, daddy's you too, because I'm the main one. Here's what ultimately happened. The candy is still in the trash. Because if you don't teach them in a safe environment today, then they're going to have to learn it in an unsafe environment tomorrow. You know whose fault it is? Ours. Because we don't like feeling and disappointing. And then when they act buck wild crazy in college, you say, God, and if I may, God would say to you, your mama wasn't soft with you, nor was your dad. But all of a sudden you're soft. Is why? Because strong men create weak kids. Because we see further than them and we don't let them solve the problem. We solve it for them. Father, will you help one community church raise a generation of kids that literally are not entitled, but before they can do it, we have to do it. Will you teach us a friend how to count our blessings, count them one by one every single day of our lives, so that we'll appreciate what you've already given to us instead of looking for what we don't have yet. Will you teach us how to do it? Because if it's in us, God, it's going to be in them. So teach us how to be grateful in an entitled world and how to appreciate the small things and not just keep begging you for the big things. Will you teach us how to do that, God? When you do, we will apply it. Thanks for the opportunity to do so now. We pray in Jesus' name. Everybody set?