Ryan Reynolds & Rob Mac Take The IKEA Challenge | GQ

These directions make no sense. These directions are wrong. I just fear that I've completely f***ed this. You guys have 30 minutes to build this shelf while I ask you questions. Have you guys ever done anything like this before? Assemble an urtfasen? Oh yeah! The Kalex, that was the Kalex. I thought it was the urtfasen. Okay, this is also a very nice unit. It's Swedish for go f*** yourself. Okay. Your time starts now. The clock is ticking, Rob. Okay, here we go. Bakers, you have 30 minutes. We have to make sure that we have these tools. If I had a hammer. We have that, we have this. You guys think your relationship is going to survive this? We've put together worse. We've done many things together. Rob has performed minor surgery on my daughter. Just an appendix. No big deal. Wait, so I'm taking this very seriously. Your playground is in the middle. Got it. Our what? Your playground. It's in the middle. Oh. God. We've got to get in the middle, Rob. Look. It's like a break dancing circle, but neither of us know how to do any dancing. So there's two units. Aha. Do you know what real IKEA assemblage pros do? They take one screw, and they throw that motherf***er away. That's how you know you know what you're doing. Okay. Because you can still get that sucker up and running. There's a real reason we're doing this, too. It's for Sophie. It's for Sophie, yeah. Our DP's little daughter. She's one. Because there's nothing one-year-old girls love more than a Kallax. I do feel a sense of responsibility. Look at these. They've got two guys looking at each other. One's got a... Here, I'll be the one with the pencil in his ear. Yeah. Okay. No, that's an Allen wrench or key. Put this together. Right? Yeah. I don't know what that is. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, this is... Yeah, so... What the f*** is this? These are two separate units. That is to build the drawers. You're building one of those. Okay. So I say we build the big one first, then the drawers? I think you're absolutely right. Okay. Oh, that helps to see that these are two separate... Yes, yes, yes. ...buckers. That's what really got me busted in the head there. Okay, okay. All right, good. So that... Okay, so we want to go with a base first. The base is right there. I thought that was one big thing. Well, that... No, flip it over. You see? That's the base. This is the base. Yeah, so... Look at this. You see, we're going to go here, shelving units in here, ba-ba-ba, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. But this has no holes in the outside, so this is going to be on the top side. Yeah, but you're looking for this, right? Yeah. Got it. So here, here, and here? Yeah, but this mofo here is putting the drawers together, it looks like, first. Why would he do that? Hold on. That's the bottom. Okay. And then this is going to be... No. Ah. Um, okay. Can I have that Allen key that is in your ear? Here, this one? Unless... Nope, I got one. Never mind. Looks like it. Now, in Canada, it's an Allen key. Here, it's an Allen wrench, right? Yes, Allen wrench. But... They both go on through here? That's why you guys never became a global superpower. Sweden? No. America. We're doing just fine. Heck of a national anthem, though. Between the two of you, who usually takes the lead? Takes the lead? The lead? We actually are very good at sort of delegating who's going to take the lead in a certain area or avenue, and the other one takes, yeah. We work pretty well together. I'm happy to give direction, I'm happy to take direction. I actually really love taking direction, because that's a nice feeling sometimes, especially if you trust the person, you know, dispensing it. I trust Rob implicitly. But where I'm missing what you're doing here. So bottom. This is the power bottom. So I have got the top. I'm unscrewing this enough to get re-screwed, which is fun to say. What the ****? Yeah, this is, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. So we're going to go right, no, that way, this way, yeah. Sides. Yes. Yep, here and here. Yeah. Well, no, if you hold this, just this one on first. I gotcha. I'm going to kind of get this sucker in. This is a subplot to Deadpool 1, though, is assembling IKEA furniture. Blind Al, who's my elderly blind roommate, she has to assemble IKEA furniture. I've never seen any of those movies. No, I've never, except I've seen every single episode of It's Always Sunny, all 612 of them. We did see the first one. I did not, I thought it was a superhero movie, so I watched it with my kids. Oh, no. And we got to the, Oh. Mirena, who is a good friend of the family. Mirena's the best. Yeah. There is a pretty randy scene we have together. I'll do the hard work. Oh, look at this. Rob, Rob, look at this. Wait, wait, maybe I should put together the drawers while you're doing, yeah. Yes. We only have 30 minutes to do this, and little Sophie's counting on us. Now we realize that we can switch so that we can put together drawers separately. If I were in charge of the last episode of Lost, it would just be this. Can I see a drawer? I can't even see a drawer. It must be really hard for you to not have white glove service doing this for you. I love this ----. I just don't love the time pressure because Sophie's going to be so pissed. Well, we all know Sophie can really fly off the handle. She can throw, she can rage. The anger issues once she gets into the bottles, right? I mean. How that works. Okay, hold on. I think Jack's going to fall off because I'm getting sweaty. Which one of you would you guys say is more patient? Ryan. But also that works to our advantage a lot when running a football club because Rob will kind of be more reactionary whereas I kind of tend to sort of sit back and go like, okay, let's just let it play out. Let's sort of have a sober second thought on this and think about this, you know, react later. And his kind of, when he gets a little bit more fired up, it sometimes draws us into real action. Like, you know, I don't think we'd have Sam Smith had you not said, I can play better than these motherfuckers. These directions make no sense. Like how ******* hard would it be to just make this assembled? Well. No, really. I think it's part of the fun. I think it's saving analysis. I think it's getting men to feel like men or getting them to emasculate themselves as part of the process. I'm not very masculine or celebratory of that right now. I feel sort of. It's halfway point. There is no way. Oh yeah, there is a way. Excuse me, how are we going to reverse? We're going to ******* do this, Mac. We're doing it. But once again, I've been failed by the directions and I'm going to blame somebody in something else. And Caitlin, if she was here, would say, this is the part where he blames the directions. Instead of just intuitively looking at it and trying to build it, I'm trying to look at these directions which are for a different piece of furniture. Do you know how fast Blake and Caitlin would make this into a furniture? That is not the piece of furniture we're building and yet it's telling me that that's what we're building. Yep, that's wish fulfillment right there. Okay, I have a legitimate question. These are not drawers. No. That's the drawers instructions that you're looking at. These? Flip to the next. Yep. Flip to the next page. But the next page shows this. Yep, those are all of your tools that you're going to need for your thing. Now the next page? It's this. So, that is not a drawer. You left the sandbox. I know. Does that mean he's out? Page one is going to be the box of stuff with Ryan. You left. Sweep the leg, Johnny. Now I understand. It's meant to confuse and You have the right tools in your hand. The um that little gray screw is going to go in the yes. In here? Nope. It goes into the the drawer. The top drawer with the double holes. The top hole. Yep. Nope. Sorry, the other hole. The top hole. Yep. Put it in there. This is the top? Yes. Screw it in there and you're going to do the exact same thing on the other side. This? Yep. In which one? The other what? The other hole. What? The other hole. There you go. And now yeah. I want to start over. I finally got to this on page five. Page five is a doozy. Which of your players would be the most helpful right now? Well, former players. Steven Fletcher. I bet that guy could probably give us a dirty look. Oh, no. Max Kluwerth is a bit of a carpenter. So is Rob Layton. Wow. Wait, Rob Layton? Oh, yeah, Rob Layton. Those are real men. Men. Macho. Okay. Yeah. It's nice to take the carpal tunnel for a spin. Ah, that's right. You for tonight don't fare dear. Feeling pretty good about this, Rob. Ten minutes left. No way. I'm going for the center. Okay, I got it. I got it. Have I cocked this up already? I did, didn't I? I did. Wait, but I could maybe save it. Hold on. No, I can't. Sophie's going to want to not put her weight on this. Right? That we're going to I can't leave until this is done. I will not sleep. God pray for you. Yeah, it's not something I'm proud of. It's a Okay. Brian, what's going on with the shelf there? Well, I'm just jacking it right up. Just couldn't couldn't **** this thing harder. Really from the whole get-go. Would you prefer if Hugh Jackman were here with you as opposed to maybe other partners? I'll show. No go. Hugh. Yeah. No, no. He would probably just cry right at this point. He'd be crying. Rob has almost a full drawer done. Yeah, but I have this impressive yet non-functional square. So, you know, let's hop off Rob's magic biceps for a second, would we? And let's check in with reality here. Okay, so this goes here. Oh, God. Okay. I just fear that I've completely fucked this. I'm gonna have to take this top off, aren't I? Does it count that it looks right? I feel like I don't have time to take the top off, but I'm going to. Yeah, you gotta do it right. There we go. Couldn't have said something while I was in the middle of this, you know? You know, when I was 18, I left a bar and I had a beer, you know, and I walked back and I looked at my car for a second, and I thought, you know what, I'm not gonna drive anywhere, even if it's four blocks home. Absolutely not. And so instead, I turned around, started to cross the street, and I was run over by a drunk driver. That was the last time I why got it as much as this. You get run over by a drunk driver? I got run over by a drunk driver after making a firmly positive and wise decision for a young 18-year-old male. No. Spent four weeks in the hospital. What? Oh, yeah. How am I not here the first time I've heard that? I broke every bone in my left side. He hit me so hard, his car was not operational. Wow. Yeah. Very bad. You were in the room I had to thank Dr. Meek at Vancouver General Hospital for putting me back together so kindly. Socialized medicine. He couldn't say no. Oh, that was in Canada? Oh, yeah. Vancouver. You know, since we're kind of in this frame of mind, what is the best lesson you've learned from something that didn't go how you planned? Nothing ever goes how you planned. I think. Like, right? It's the old Chinese proverb. Who knows what's good or bad? Five minutes, Mark. No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm the one who's screwed us here. Not you. I went with show over go and look. It looks great. No, I have to take it apart because this has to go in before the lid goes on. God was like, no, I'm just going to keep on driving after these eight beers. See what happens. Oh, look. Skin covered pylon. Okay. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's fine. That's normal. That's normal, Sophie. We're Ryan and Rob and we don't read. We're not readers. There's no way this can, can wait. Why? How does that work? I don't know. Also, like. Yes. That's not good. You know. Feed into your anger. No, but it's just. Sidebar. What the **** do you think gets that in here? Like, is there a magic screw? Oh, I bet it's. Three minutes. Oh, come on. I threw one of your screws away and now I brought it back. I love you. Sophie. I barely knew you. I think whatever we wind up with in the end, we have to give to the little girl. I think it'd be great if I could do it in person. And watch her cry. Ryan, you got one minute to get that side on. I believe in you. One minute? I could blow 30 seconds right now giving you like a limerick. I won't though because I don't know one. But. I know, but according to the photo, this is where I call Caitlin in and I say, look, can you look at the instructions and tell me that I'm right, please. Just tell me that I'm right, that they got these wrong. And she says, sweetie, whatever it is you need to hear, I'll say so I can leave the room. Because you live in the house of lies. But I'm telling you these directions are wrong. Dammit. 10 seconds. We got this, Rob. We got this. There's no way. I'm not kidding. He's not leaving. And 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Bakers, put down your. OK. Can you guys stand up and present your work, please? No. You can't make me. Can you guys look little Sophie in the eye and say with confidence that this isn't just the first of so many disappointments authored by both of you? How do you feel about each other right now? I love this man. I love. I actually do love this man. Genuinely. I'm not that amazing. Joke. Nothing. I happen to love Rob Mack. Yeah. All my heart. Always have. Always will. Rob, what would you do differently next time? I would give it an hour. I would give it an hour. I'd cheat. Watch a video or something. That makes me nervous. I just want to make sure it's safe for little Sophie. I'm little Sophie. Do you see? I mean, that is buckling. No, that's OK. Are you kidding me? I wouldn't engineer something that would be dangerous for a one-year-old child. I would. I probably wouldn't. So guys, this is what it's supposed to look like. What do you think? Well, I think that I feel like we got pretty close here. You know, like, look. A little drawer knob right there. This is humbling though because you can't, you know, you're a smart guy. Put me in that category. This just turned into an intervention. I mean... I have to at least build one drawer and then I can be done. Right? I'm coming.