The Ones with the Boys Nights | Friends

No, no, I don't think you heard me. Are you ready to party? No. Gandalf? Gandalf is coming to town? Kathy's with her parents. I have nothing to do. So tomorrow we are partying with Gandalf, dude! Dude, we are so gonna party! Wow, okay. Dude alert. And who is this guy? Mike Gandalf Ganderson. Only like the funnest guy in the world. I'm gonna call and get off work tomorrow. I'm gonna call after you. This is gonna be so cool, dude. We never party anymore. Alright, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van? Really? What do you mean we never have fun anymore? You have fun with me. Remember the time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book? Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandalf is like the party wizard. Why do you call him Gandalf? Gandalf the wizard. Hello, didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school? No, I had sex in high school. Hi. So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler? That's me. Joey Tribbiani. Big fan. So is that a bedroom? Yeah, yeah, right over there. Alright, whenever you're ready. That was weird. Why would she go in the bedroom? I'm waiting. So she's a... Yep, that's one naked hooker. So, tonight's the night of the big bachelor party? Yeah. Hey, thanks for giving me that girl's number. No problem. Say, who's the party for? My husband. You hired your husband a hooker? She's a stripper. No, she's a hooker. Is that what they call strippers sometimes? When they're hookers. Oh my God, Stu, I can't believe you did this. Are you absolutely sure she's a hooker? It's either that or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had. Alright, maybe you should just ask her to leave. Why me? Hey, it's your bachelor party. Which is why you should do it. I don't want to. You do it. Alright, rock, paper, scissors for who has to tell the whore to leave. What? I miss this. I don't think we've actually done this before. No, I miss hanging out with you. Well, we still hang out. Not like we used to. Remember, you and me used to be inseparable. Well, now it's like things are different. Well, you know, things are different. I'm married now. Yeah, sure, and hey, don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for you guys. But I just, I miss hanging out, just us, you know? Yeah, I miss that too. I'll tell you what, for now on we'll make time to hang out with each other. You got it. Come here. Oh, God. Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. She's a hooker! She's a... Joey? Ma? Joey! Chandler? What are you still doing here? I thought you guys took off. Oh, no, no, no, she took off with my clothes! Are you naked in there? Well, not exactly. I'm wearing panties. You always wear panties? No, no, this is the first time. Wow, talk about your bad luck. I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes. I was not trying them out. Susie asked me to wear them. Well, let me see. No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever. Alright, alright. Whoa. Someone's flossing. Joey, some people don't like that. Chandler's wearing panties. What? Let me see. No, no, you have to see. Hi, Tushy. Alright, why don't you give me your underpants? Oh, no, no, no. Can't help you, I'm not wearing any. How can you not be wearing any underwear? Oh, I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot pink thong. Alright, look, Ross, I'll give you $50 for your underpants. Hey. This, alright? Gunther. These guys are trying to take our seat. Fellas, these guys were here first. Oh, sorry, I didn't realize. There you go. Thank you, Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that. He told on us? You told on us? Well, pal, you didn't give me much of a choice. Don't play with this thing. I know. Alright, let's take this outside. Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that? A guy who's about to kick your ass talks like that. You had to ask. Yeah. Okay, okay, look. See, the thing is, we're, we're not going to fight you guys. Well, then here's the deal. You won't have to, so long as you never, ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again. This is so exciting. So glamorous. People taking our picture. How do I look? You're a little tall. What? Would you mind crouching down a little bit so that I look taller? There you go. Good job, Joe. Well done. Top notch. You liked it? You really liked it? Oh, yeah. Which part exactly? The whole thing. Here we go. Give me some specifics. I love the specifics. The specifics were the best part. Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did you, did you like that part? I was surprised to see a kangaroo. In a World War I epic. You fell asleep. There was no kangaroo. They didn't take any of my suggestions. Thanks a lot for coming, buddy. See you later. Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Look, this guy fell asleep. He fell asleep, too. Don't be mad at him. Or call an ambulance. This is what I got going for the party so far, liquor-wise. Get a lot of liquor. Great. Okay, now, in terms of the invite list, obviously I got you, me, and Chandler, and I'm going to invite Gunther, because, well, we've been talking about this pretty loudly. I'll be there. And, oh, listen. I know it's your party, but I'd really like to limit the number of museum geeks that are going to be there. Yeah, tell you what. Let's not invite any of the anthropologists, okay? Just the dinosaur dudes. Okay, we need a six-pack of Zima. Hey, guys. What are you doing? Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man. Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one. Yeah, see, I don't think it's going to be that difficult, considering this one won't take place in the basement of a pizza hut. Oh, I'm Ross. I'm Ross. I'm too good for the hut. Look, I got to go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great, Joey. Just remember, keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker. No strippers or anything, okay? You got it. Okay, see you later. Yeah. Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party. I thought there was going to be strippers there. You didn't say anything about no strippers. He just said no strippers. Oh, I chose not to hear that. In what John Huston film would you hear this line? Badges? We don't need no stinking badges. Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Correct. There's a possible backwards bonus. Madre Sierra, thee of treasure. Yes. I'd like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut, please. Wise choice. How many rungs? Six. That noise can only mean one thing. Hungry monkey. I'd like a wicked wango card. Okay. It's an audio question. Name this television theme song. Oh. Oh, my God. Okay, I know this. Give me a second. Tell it to the time turtle. Shut up! I dream of genius. Yes, yes, you're back in the lead. I'd like to spin the wheel. Oh, come on! Super speedy speed round. Is there a hopping bonus? Of course. Who invented bifocals? Ben Franklin. Correct. Which monarch has ruled Great Britain the longest? Queen Victoria. Correct again. But you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus. Oh, every time! Now, over to Chandler. I'd like a Google card. Are you sure? Yes. No. Google. Oh, my God. Congratulations, Ross. Because, Chandler, you've been bamboozled. No! This is the best game ever! Hey. I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didn't ask me to go do it with her in the vault. Same kind of thing happened to me. Woman pizza delivery guy comes over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves. What, no, like, nice apartment, bet the bedrooms are huge? No, nothing! You know what? We have to turn off the porn. I think you're right. All right, ready? One, two, three. That's kind of nice. Yeah, that's kind of a relief. You want to see if we still have it? Yeah. Free dining! We have a free... It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Not completely satisfied. Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you'd know that or we'd be in the predicament room. Fill these out! Sit over there! Look, look, look. Look, I don't want to make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, all right? My face is dented. Well, you'll have to wait your turn. Well, how long do you think it'll be? Any minute now. Give me a chance to win my money back, okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000. You serious? Oh, yes. Okay, get ready to owe me. Okay. Okay, here we go. Ready? One can beat me. See, now that's why only the little fake men are supposed to do the kicking. Diehard, still great. Yeah. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature? What else did you rent? Diehard 2. Joey, this is Diehard 1 again. Oh. But we watched it a second time, and it's Diehard 2. Joey, we just saw it. And? And it would be cool to see it again. Yeah, Diehard! Dude, you didn't say Diehard. Is everything okay? Yeah, I just got plans. Well, John McClane had plans. You see, the thing is, I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch. What are you talking about, bitch? Fell asleep, that is all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I better go. Yeah, I think that would be best. All right, I'll talk to you later. Okay, but not about this. No, never. Never. So, uh... Bye. No touch, no touch. Hey. Just brought back your videos. Hey, Ross, look, I think we need to talk about before... No, no, we don't. Yes, we do. Now, look, that was the best nap I ever had. I don't know what you're talking about. Come on, admit it. That was the best nap you ever had. I've had better. Okay, when? All right, all right, it was the best nap ever. I said it, okay? But it's over, Joey. I want to do it again. We can't do it again. Why not? Because it's weird. Fine. You want something to drink? Sure, what do you got? Warm milk and Excedrin PM. Boy, I'll tell you, that judging stuff took a lot out of me. Yeah? Yeah. I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. Why would I care about that? No reason, I'm just saying that, uh... that's where I'll be. Great nap. It really was. What the hell are you doing? Excuse me. Hey, it's Dennis. Okay, I'm making a break for it. I'm going out the window. No, no, no, don't. Wait, look, I've been waiting for like forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down. Calm down? You set me up with a woman I've dumped twice in the last five months. Can you stop yelling? You're making me nervous. I can't go when I'm nervous. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. Hey! Listen, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today. Oh, that's okay. You had a thing. Yeah, well, I hear the place looks great. Oh, forget about it. I'm having a ball. How's the apartment doing? Oh, hey, it's terrific. I mean, it's a regular space. Best. Oh. Well, great. Yeah, I just, you know, wanted to call and say hey. Well, okay then. Was that the oven timer? That's right, my friend. It's time for... Bee Watch! Can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer? I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant. Ah, you're just saying that because you're in love with Yasmine Bleat. Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Bleat? Hey, they're running. See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time running. Run. Run, Yasmine, run like the... Hey, listen, man, about the stripper. Yeah? Good call. Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. I've decided that my best man is my best friend, Gunther. What's my last name? Central Perk. Thanks for not marrying Rachel. Oh, hey, Gunther, don't forget your shirt. Hey, hey, what are those? They're little party favors, check it out. Wow, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Aww. Okay, a little announcement. Just want everybody to know the position of my best man is still open. And, uh, you know, so is the position of the bride. Great. Smooth, man. Yeah, you got some chili on your neck. So, welcome. I got beer. I got bottled breast milk. Eh, why don't we start with the beer? Okay. So, um, Phoebe tells me you play piano. Yeah. You know, I used to play keyboards in college. Do you have one here? No. Okay. You know, I'm divorced. Phoebe says you've been divorced? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't really like to talk about it. That's okay, we'll talk about something else. So, you're a paleontologist, right? Yeah. My cousin's a paleontologist. Uh-huh. No peeking. All right, all right. But you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes. Open your eyes. Sweet mother of all that is good and pure. Days of Our Lives picked up my option. Congratulations! I can finally watch Green Anchors the way it was meant to be seen. So, uh, which one is mine? Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. Not that one. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, that's the stuff. Do we dare? We dare. All right, so we'll get a little coffee, we'll get energized, and we'll head back out. Oh, all right, okay. So, we're having fun, right? We don't need that wizard guy. We'll hit a couple of clubs, talk to some strangers, and after this, we'll go down to the docks and see about that boat thing. I'm kind of beat. Actually, me too. You serious? Yeah. Thank God, I'm exhausted. So, you guys want coffees? Yeah, but I don't want to be up too late, so I'll have a decaf. Yeah, me too. Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud? I can't hear a word you're saying. My ears are ringing so bad. I'm just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, you know? I used them as mittens. I didn't want to touch a thing in that last play. How sad are we? Yeah, I know. You know, we're not sad. We're not sad, we're just not 21 anymore, you know? I'm 29 years old, damn it. And I want to sit in a comfortable chair and watch television and go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Yeah. Yeah, and I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends. Yeah. And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G and take a bath? We're 29, we're not women.