How to Find Your Personal Style (Outclass 99% of Men)

To start things off, I want to ask the question, why? Seriously, before we spend all the time and money building your personal style, why in the world does it even matter? Is there a good reason to have a signature style? How about instead of one, I give you four? Reason number one, first impressions. Now, I get why this can be confusing because most of us have received a lot of conflicting information here. We're told by society, don't judge a book by its cover. Take the time to understand what somebody is about and don't judge them based off appearances. Now, as a father of five kids, this is something I wholeheartedly embrace. But, as somebody that lives in the real world and sees how human beings actually interact, I can tell you that that belief is an ideal, not a day-to-day standard. The reality is human beings, we are bombarded with tons of information. So, we're lazy and we take shortcuts. I mean, think about it. How much thinking have you actually done today? Most times in the morning, you are an autopilot. Even when you're driving, do you remember all of your drive, all of your commute? Most of us don't. We're simply thinking our mind is somewhere else and this helps us conserve energy. This is actually a good thing. The problem is it can be completely wrong. And this is where the good intention saying of don't judge a book by its cover actually makes sense. But, the reality is most people are going to judge you based on the way you look. So, if you know this, make a great first impression and use it to your advantage. Reason number two, confidence. So, the clothing you wear doesn't just have an effect on others, it has an effect on you. In the scientific community, this is called enclothed cognition. And it has been documented to show that when people wear certain types of clothing, they can feel more confident, they can feel more competent, and they can even perform higher on standardized tests. Seriously, there's this great study of students putting on white jackets. Half are told they're painter's smocks, the other half are told they're doctor jackets. Both sets of students went in and took a test, but those that were wearing doctor jackets performed significantly higher than those that thought they were just wearing painter's smocks. But, to be honest, anyone that's ever played sports, we already knew this to be true because how many times did you guys have a lucky hat in baseball, a lucky glove? You had some part of your gear that you had to wear. I had a friend and the guy would not wash his shorts, they stank. But, he just simply believed that he would wear the same shorts all track season, they were his go-tos and the guy just simply had to wear them to perform at what he thought his highest level. Now, do I recommend being nasty like that? No. But, what I do recommend is if you've got a set of outfits, you've got clothing that just makes you feel like a million bucks, well, guess what? You will perform at a higher level when you wear it. Next up, we've got self-expression. You are a unique snowflake. I know I triggered some of you guys. Point being is all of us are unique. Our genetic makeup, our upbringing, our environment, all of this makes us a unique individual. So, why not use your image and your style to set yourself apart? Now, there are certain rules here which I'll get into later in the video, but this is such a fun way to be able to wear clothing that really expresses who you are. And finally, let's just mention versatility. This is the practical aspect of simply having a go-to set of outfits that simply suit you. I love this because it makes it easy to get dressed in the morning. Ace from the movie, Casino, did he ever have to think about what he's – no, he knew he's going to wear a suit that day. The late Steve Jobs had his go-to uniform. This look became synonymous with who he was. In fact, so many people that have worked at Apple stores started copying this look. Now, you may be wondering why do people who operate at such a high level who have pretty much unlimited bank accounts, why are they going to this uniform? In fact, if you look through history, some of the most influential people out there had a go-to look that they didn't have to think about whenever they got dressed in the morning. That's because having a signature style, a go-to uniform, a look that works for you allows you to free up time to focus your energies elsewhere. Do a self-assessment asking these four questions. First up, you're going to identify your lifestyle needs. This is your daily activities, profession, hobbies, your social events, where you live. All of this plays into the clothing that you're going to want to look at. A finance professional on the East Coast is going to have a very different wardrobe than a finance professional down in Houston. Or a creative up in Chicago or St. Louis is going to have a different look, a different wardrobe than perhaps that same creative living down in Southern California. Next up, we want to define your style goals. This is the message the clothing says without you having to open your mouth. Seriously, look at these pictures right here. We got the same guy, two different outfits, two different messages being sent. Now, the third self-assessment step is to actually take out the clothing in your wardrobe and to actually look at what you're starting with. Most women are not going to have to rebuild their entire wardrobe. And, in fact, your existing wardrobe, there's a lot of items that we can identify for good fit. Yeah, you like this shirt, it's a little bit worn out, but you love the overall fit and feel of it. Well, guess what? We're going to look at that brand. We're going to look at the measurements of the shirt. Even if you were to get something custom-made, we can actually use that shirt as a block, which is basically a template to make more. There's also going to be certain items in your wardrobe that you just get compliments on. You keep them because you love the color, you love the material, you love something about it. And that's something that you want to take note of and repeat again and again as you look to make purchases. And, of course, let's talk money. You're going to want to set a budget, but a realistic budget. So, it's going to be important that you look at clothing prices and you understand all of your options. You also want to identify the priorities. Like any other guy, I like good underwear. But, before you buy expensive underwear, you want to make sure your outerwear such as your shirts, your trousers, your shoes, and your jackets are good quality because that's the thing that most people see. To illustrate how important this is, I want to lay out a scenario. So, imagine you're in Las Vegas at a conference, everyone is sitting down, you got a hundred people in the room and all of a sudden, some guy comes running in, his clothes are tattered, he looks really dirty. I mean, the guy just is all over the place and he screams, get out of here, everyone get out. What are you going to do? Well, most likely, you're going to call security because it looks like the guy just wandered off the street. Compare that with if a man in a fireman's outfit came running in and said, everybody, get out now. What's going to happen? Everybody is going to stand up and get out of that place immediately. So, what was the difference? Both of them were men, both of them said about the same thing, but one of them said it in a manner wearing clothing that screamed authority. Now, am I saying you need to wear clothing that screams authority? No, but maybe. I mean, if you're in sales, if you're giving a presentation, if you're going to be up on stage, there is a lot of history, there's a lot of science, there's a lot of design that goes into the suit and how it builds up a man's shoulders, how it slims up his silhouette, how all of a sudden we're drawing attention to his face because when he's wearing a necktie, what is it doing? Pointing right at the face oftentimes with the only bit of color we see on that outfit. But, perhaps you just want to come off as competent, as believable, as friendly. So, in that case, maybe you're going to wear a little bit more of a creative outfit, maybe wear something a little bit softer that would draw people in. At the same time, isn't going to push you away because you don't want to alienate yourself from the crowd by dressing too sharp. And we see this all the time with politicians. If they know they're going to be going into a diner, if they're going to be at a construction site, what happens? They dress down, they put on the hard hat because, yeah, they're getting – no, they're not doing any work, but they want to look the part. They want people to feel that they're part of their tribe. So, when you're putting together a signature look, you're looking for your go-to uniform, your personal style, think about the message that you want to send to others and make sure that the outfits that you've got there in that wardrobe send that particular signal. Know the dress code and step it up by about 25%. Oh, there is no dress code, you just go into the local bar. No, there is a dress code, otherwise people could walk in naked. Point being is there is always a way to understand how are people going to look and how to step it up a bit because your competition is not all those guys online. You don't need to be some style maven, you just need to beat the nine or ten other guys that are there in that bar that are your competition. The nine or ten other guys there at work that, yeah, you guys all look like peers and your boss's boss is down there looking looking to give the next assignment to you and you want to be that go-to guy that jumps on it that looks the part that looks competent. So, you want to step it up a bit. Maybe everyone's walking around in ties and dress shirts. Well, maybe throw on a sports jacket, maybe ditch the tie. Maybe go ahead, oh, wow, people are actually really dressed down, they're wearing shorts, t-shirts. Okay. I'm not saying maybe just wear that button down with a nice pair of dark denim, bring in some boots. There are so many easy ways to step it up and I'm not saying being overdressed or being outlandish in the clothing you're wearing. You still want to come off as part of the local culture. But, at the same time, there's nothing wrong with stepping up that next notch that 25% so that you look like the best dressed man in the room. So, first up, any collar that you've got next to your face is in general going to look better whether it's a polo shirt whether it's a dress shirt whether it's a casual button-up shirt. That collar is always going to look better than a non-collar shirt. It's going to feel a bit more formal. It's going to help to frame and balance out the face. Now, if you're going to be wearing a necktie, you want to go for a collar that's going to not, you know, you don't want to go for a spread collar if you've got a round face. If you've got a little bit of a heavier face, then you want to go for a pointed collar, one that's going to better balance it out. If you've got a narrow face, you want to avoid the pointed collar, instead go for that spread collar. Shoes that are going to get you compliments, shoes that when you wear them, you're just going to stand out from the crowd. Now, I'm not saying you got to go crazy here, I'm just simply saying that you need to step it up. Yeah, you're wearing those beat up, you know, running shoes, ditch those and go with a pair of sneakers like this. Or, hey, you're already wearing dress shoes, why not bring in a pair of dress boots? Look at these right here with the broguing on them. These small details right here, it's going to separate you from all the other guys out there. If she's looking, hey, wow, look at those shoes. Women, pay attention. Other men, pay attention. These boots, they're going to make you look taller. These are the type of things you want to go for in your footwear. It's going to do nothing, but help you feel better and look better. Now, I could talk about fit all day, but I love just showing you images of a good fit and a bad fit. A good-fitting shirt, a bad-fitting shirt. Good-fitting trousers, bad-fitting trousers. Yeah, a picture says a thousand words, but, gentlemen, understand that good fit can take a $200 suit and make it look amazing. Bad fit can take a $2,000 suit and make it look like, yeah, you're wearing your big brother's clothing and just, yeah, it does you no favors. The amount of money you spend on clothing doesn't matter if it doesn't fit you. So many guys, they buy clothing off-the-rack and they don't bother to get it adjusted. And I think that one of the best investments you can make is take your clothing to a tailor and just get it brought in a bit, especially those off-the-rack shirts, those off-the-rack trousers that just look like they've got all this excess material around the leg line in the buttocks area. You spend a lot of time in the gym, you're taking care of your body. So, wear clothing that complements your build and makes you look better. Now, if you've watched enough of my videos, you know I'm pretty conservative when it comes to color. In fact, if I had to break it out, in an average wardrobe, 20% of your clothing is going to be white, 18% is going to be gray, 14% is going to be navy blue, 13% is going to be black, 12% is going to be variations of other blues, 10% brown and its variations 7% green. And then, we've got the accent colors 2% purple, 2% red, 1% yellow or gold, and 1% orange. Now, of course, you can change it up however you want, but you'll notice that those brighter colors, those stronger colors are a much smaller percentage of a man's wardrobe. The reason I do that is I treat these colors like a spice. You don't want to overpower the dish by adding too much spice, just enough to bring out the flavor. That being said, I know a lot of guys want to have fun, they want to bring in colors. I'd say if you're starting off, make sure that your classic essential pieces, we're talking the t-shirts, we're talking your trousers, your jackets, those keep in conservative dark colors or light shades depending on what you're grabbing. Now, when it comes to shirts, when it comes to accessories, when it comes to pieces, you can add to your wardrobe that are relatively less expensive. This is where I think you can have a lot of fun with color and reduce the risk of, yeah, buying something that you're never going to wear. Another key aspect to adding colors into your wardrobe is to learn to trust yourself. Most men intuitively know which colors look best on them. Why? Because they've probably at some point had a mother, maybe had a sister, had somebody buy something for them that looked amazing on them. Maybe it was your dad and you got compliments, you felt great, that was your go-to shirt, your favorite just simply accessory because everyone complimented you on it. Think back to your past. I know for me, it was olive, it was dark greens. I just really felt this was my color. It turns out it works great for my complexion. The issue I'm hitting on here is so many guys just don't have confidence in their own ability to choose colors that work for their natural tones. In case you're wondering, there are three major tones out there. This is different than skin color. There are going to be cooler tones, there are going to be warm tones, and there are going to be neutral tones. Now, as you can imagine, most people are going to be near the center, but they are going to lean either towards warm or cool. A quick hack to figuring out your tone is to look at your veins. If you can actually see the blue really easily, you're going to be cooler toned. If it's a bit harder, if they look green, you're going to be leaning towards warmer tones. And why that matters when it comes to metals, if you're cooler toned, a lot of us go for steel, a lot of us go for silver, hence why I love silver and steel. But, I'm not so far cool that I can't actually wear just regular gold. In addition, make sure to pay attention to your eyes and your hair color. These are colors that you can repeat in your clothing and really pull out those colors. So, if you've got blue eyes, if you've got green eyes. Hazel, you wear a piece of clothing that has that color, it's going to naturally make your eyes shine a bit better, which is something that so many guys should do because you're going to get compliments like no other. Jeans are cool and they have a little bit of texture with them, but I really like it when you look at gray flannels. You look at any type of flannels out there, you look at flannels that aren't going to come off the rack maybe made in the jean style, but they're made from this really nice cotton material that has a three-dimensional weave. When you see texture on something, it's just something people want to touch, it feels cozy. It is something that, yeah, just it complements a lot of the other items that you'll be wearing and it stands out. And let's not forget about corduroy trousers. Perfect for the fall, winter, and spring. Cooler weather is perfect for corduroy. That textured look is just going to be warmer, more comfortable. And that textured look is going to work with a wide variety of sports jackets, shirts. You want to make sure though you find a corduroy that has about eleven whales an inch. I think that's going to be the most versatile type out there. Other options are going to be moleskin and cavalry tweed. A little bit harder to find, but if you look for them, you can find them out there. And don't forget about linen during the summer. It has a little bit of a rougher weave and a lot of guys want to stay away from it because they're worried about wrinkles. I find in trousers because it's a heavier weave, it does a better job of retaining its shape and you're usually not going to have that bad of wrinkles. So, I've now I think become synonymous with the idea of the interchangeable wardrobe. So, if you have four pairs of shoes, if you have four shirts, if you have four pairs of trousers, and you have four jackets, sixteen pieces of clothing, but if they're 100% interchangeable, you have a total of 256 outfits. Now, of course, it doesn't always work out that way, but even if you got close, the point is you could own less, you can get more outfits and more wear out of it. And at the end of the day, you have a highly functional wardrobe that you get your money's worth out of. Now, because you did a wardrobe assessment, you're going to notice a lot of items in your closet, you just never wore because you didn't like the feel of, you didn't like the look of. They just didn't work for you and your needs. Now, the items that you did wear, the ones that maybe were even worn out, but you would still find a reason to wear them because they just fit you, they look good, they were for good material, these are the items you're going to want to replace. Now, in some cases, you may stick with the same style, the same brand, the same price point. But, in other cases, you may say, you know what? I really do like those boots and it's worth me spending a little bit more money to get something that's higher quality that looks good because I know that I wore my last cheap boots into the ground. These more expensive boots are not only going to last longer, but I really like the way they look and I'm going to feel better about owning them. Now, let's talk about justifying that high price. I always like bringing up my style theory of value and that's where value isn't equal to the cost. Value is actually equal to the number of times you're going to wear the item times the way it makes you feel divided by the price. So, a $300 pair of boots that you wear every day for a year and you love is actually less expensive than buying a cheaper pair of instead you default to some other shoes in your collection. These are the guys that you are inspired by. You've seen them in a movie, you've seen them in a magazine, maybe you're following them on Instagram. Whatever it is, guys, start to put together your list and it really helps if they've got a similar complexion, if they're maybe a similar age, if they've got a similar build. Maybe you're a big heavier guy, you got a little bit of a belly. Well, find guys that are large and in charge and dressing in a way that other men are just, you know, wow, like this guy, yeah, he's big, he's heavy, but he does not look sloppy, no. He's large and I love that, large and in charge. That's what we want, right? Or maybe you're short in stature. Find a guy who stands tall because he's got the confidence, he knows he looks good. Every time he walks in the room, he owns it. Guys, that's what you do when you find your inspiration, you find someone you can connect with who just simply it's like, you know what? I want to steal his look. There are so many men that you can take inspiration from and I love it when you look to the past. One of the best places to look, musicians. I mean, you go back and you look at guys like Miles Davis. He had style just oozing out of his body. And, yeah, he was through a different time period than you, but you can still bring in so many pieces and so many looks and you can make them your own. Or maybe Michael Caine, anyone that grew up in the 70s knew who this actor was, but he's kind of gone a bit more into obscurity. Yes, he's, you know, an old – he's playing an older man in a lot of movies. But, go back to his younger days, there are some great photos out there, you will be inspired by his looks. Gary Cooper, Walt Frazier, Shah Rukh Khan, Steve McQueen, Johnny Depp, Keith Richards, The Weeknd, even Harry Styles. Now, when you look at these style icons, what you're looking for is inspiration. Try to grab maybe a particular item, you can try to recreate the look and then see how it feels. You want to experiment. Not everything is going to work, but that's the beauty of an experiment is you give it a shot, you try it. Now, guys, really quick, a lot of guys make a mistake. They think that just watching a video like this on YouTube is somehow going to make them an expert. Straight up, gents, you have to take this information and put it into action. And one of the best ways to motivate yourself to take action is to put yourself in a community, in a group of like-minded warriors taking steps to improve their image, their presence, their presentation. And you can find all of that over at our community at school.com.rmrs. Over in our school community, we've got detailed classes, we host challenges, and you can meet and engage with like-minded men taking steps on a daily basis to become their best self. So, gents, instead of saying someday, how about you say day one and join our community? I'm putting the link down in the description, in the comments, or you can just go directly to school.com.rmrs. I really like it when a man brings in his heritage. So, for me, my father, he's from Guanajuato, Mexico, bringing in a guayabera I think is really unique if you've got a Hispanic heritage. Or maybe your grandfather is from East Africa and you want to bring in the dashiki shirt. And I know you Scottish guys are out there always talking about the kilt. Is there a way that you can bring that into your wardrobe or maybe just bring the tartan pattern into one of your jackets, a pair of trousers, or something unique? The idea here is that you know who you are, you know what you stand for, you know your heritage. And even if it's just a custom piece of jewelry, I love to see a man have fun with his style and able to bring in a little bit of his own history. The next step is to step up your accessory game, specifically let's talk watches. So, my advice on watches is to start off with something that's relatively affordable. You want to first see do you actually enjoy wearing a watch. It isn't for everybody. I know when I started wearing a watch, I actually loved it. It was a fashion watch. But, you could start off with an Orient, you could start off with a Seiko. All of a sudden, you start wearing this watch for six months, seven months, you know that you love it, you can start looking for a more expensive brand. Now, the reality is that most people will not notice an expensive watch. They don't even know all the different brands. But, the 1% that does, they're going to take note and they're going to realize, hey, we've got something in common and that's where the magic happens. You start that conversation with a business owner and that leads to you striking a deal. Now, it seems obvious, but the key to finding your style is not thinking about your new style, but actually putting it into practice, wearing the new clothing. Trying it out, putting together the different combinations, experimenting. It's like riding a bike, you've got to do it. Yes, you can watch tons of videos on riding a bike, you read a book about riding a bike, but nothing beats going out and doing it. The same comes with discovering your style. You put the clothing together, you wear it out, you get compliments, you find events. A lot of people are like, well, I'm always stuck at home. Find or sign up for an event to go to. I know for me when it comes to fitness, signing up for a race, signing up for an event really forces you to get in shape and to train. The same thing with style. How about you actually set it up, so you're taking your girlfriend to one of the nicest restaurants in town? Or maybe you're a father of three. I get it, you're incredibly busy. Well, still take your wife out on a date night or maybe take your daughters to a father-daughter dance and actually get dressed up for it. And your goal is to be the best-looking guy for your little girls, so that you can show up for them. Now, when it comes to evaluate, you are going to be your worst critic. And don't always listen to the voice in your head. Really listen to what other people especially the people that matter to you. What are they saying? Does your girlfriend, does your wife, do your friends are like, man, you looked really good? Well, guess what? Yes, they are trying to build you up, but also, they're probably being honest. You do look better, so don't be so hard on yourself. That being said, if you look at the pictures, you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you're like, you know what? If I brought this jacket in a bit, if I hemmed those trousers, maybe if I tried a different color or this color looked really good to me, that color so-so, this is where you evolve. You evaluate what you see and you work to get better. And as many of you guys know, if you're just getting 1% better every day for a year, by the end of that year, you are 37 times better than what you were at the beginning. So, what video to watch next? How about a step-by-step guide on how to dress for the different body types? I know that each of you guys have a different build. Maybe you're carrying a little bit of weight, maybe you're thin. Whatever it is, guys, I've got you covered in this video right here. I break it out. You're going to like it. Check it out. Boom, right there.