What Old-School Moms Knew That We Forgot

Did old-school moms know something we've forgotten? Because the more parenting advice I hear, the more I find myself asking, what happened to common sense? Today I'm sharing five timeless parenting principles that I think every mom needs to hear. Have you ever noticed that every generation seems convinced that they're doing parenting better than the last one? We have more parenting books than ever before, more experts, and yet many moms are anxious more than ever, and kids seem less resilient, less prepared for adulthood. I think it's foolish to assume we've outgrown the wisdom of those who came before us. Every generation has something to learn from history, and parenting is no exception. So it makes me wonder, what did old-school moms know that we've forgotten? Now, before anyone misunderstands me, I'm not saying that the previous generations got everything right. We live in a fallen world. We're all sinful people. But I do think there are some simple truths about motherhood and raising children that we've slowly drifted away from, and I want to share five of them today with you. If you're new to my channel, hi, my name is Sheri. I'm a Christian married to my high school sweetheart. Together, we have 10 children, ages 21 down to three. We homeschool, and that's a big part of our life, which I like to share with you here on YouTube and on the blog, ourlifehomeschooling.com. I also help parents in my course, Beyond School, the Home Education Breakthrough, learn the complete approach I've refined in over 16 years of raising and educating our 10 children so that you can build an education lifestyle that truly works for your family. You can find the link for that in the description box below. One thing old-school moms understood is that taking care of children isn't something you squeeze into your schedule. It's 24-7 work. Children need constant care and guidance, and if you're not doing it, someone is. Motherhood is about so much more than just a job. It's God's design. I hear people say all the time, treat motherhood like it's your job. I understand what they're trying to communicate, that motherhood deserves our best effort, but to me, comparing it to a job lowers our view of mothering from the high calling that it truly is. When I think of a job, I think about corporations, spreadsheets, meetings, but motherhood is so much bigger than that. Years ago, when I was a brand-new mom, I read a book that was all about professionalizing motherhood. That was the word that was used, professionalizing, and I understood what the author was trying to do. She wanted to elevate motherhood in a culture that often looks down on it, but for me, it had the opposite effect. Motherhood isn't valuable because it's a profession. It's valuable because it's God's design for the very best care of our children. When I think of motherhood, I don't picture an office. I think of warmth, care, sacrifice, responsiveness, correction, a lifelong touchstone that your children carry with them long after they leave home. Another thing old school moms realized was that hard work is good for kids. They weren't afraid to expect their kids to contribute. Kids had chores. They helped make dinner, helped with the laundry, helped with their younger siblings, and this doesn't seem to be popular sometimes depending on who you talk to, but at the same time, kids are looking for things to do, and they like to do what adults are doing. They like to learn skills. So when did we start believing that childhood should be almost completely free of responsibility? Meaningful work is actually a wonderful gift that we can give our children because it teaches confidence, which builds confidence. When kids learn skills, they become confident, and especially when they can help contribute to the needs of the family. They're not just doing work to earn an allowance, but they're seeing themselves as part of something really important, as part of the family, and it helps make them more capable. So teach your kids to cook. Bring them with you when you're fixing things, serving others. Teach kids to do hard things because learning to function in the adult world isn't something you just begin when you turn 18. It's something that should be practiced all through childhood. A third thing old school moms knew is how good it is for kids to be outside. They realized that children don't need to be entertained every minute. They just open the door, and the kids were outside. You don't have to spend a lot of time researching to learn that it's very healthy for kids to get vitamin D, fresh air, and not only that, but they learn so much from being outside. Young children especially learn through their five senses, and when they're outside, all of those senses come alive. Just climbing trees or watching insects. The other day, my kids found a little nest with an egg in it. It occupied them for like 20 minutes. Running until they're exhausted. Nature helps develop coordination as kids are climbing, jumping, crawling through things, and it's also good for their minds because it's calming, and it wears them out so they sleep well. So it may be a little more work on your part as a mom to have your kids outside. It's easier to just put them in front of a screen, but we know how that can be very addictive, and it's not healthy for them. Children should be outside. Some other common sense that we seem to have lost along the way is the idea that loving parents correct their children, and this is not as popular today, especially in the age of gentle parenting. Children need correction. They don't need us to make excuses for their behavior. They actually thrive when they know where the boundaries are, and when the consequences for crossing those boundaries are appropriate and consistent. The Bible teaches us that everyone is born with a sinful nature. None of us naturally is thinking of the other person first. We don't choose kindness or sharing every time. We're selfish. We want it our way. We want to have the best, and children aren't exceptions. A loving mother corrects her children because she wants what's best for them. Correction is loving. It prepares them for real life. It's helping kids grow into the kind of adults who can live wisely with other people, respectfully and responsibly. Every parent should stop and give an honest assessment of themselves. Who is actually in charge around here? Does my child respect my authority, or are my kids running the show? If this is an area where you'd like more direction, I highly recommend two books. One is Dare to Discipline by James Dobson, and the other is Shepherding a Child's Heart by Paul David Tripp. Why don't you pick out some of your other clothes in this pile? Now, as I'm sharing this with you, I'm going to give you a little bonus tip that is not in my script, part of the five things I was planning to share. But if you want to raise healthy, happy kids, you will make your marriage a priority. As much as it depends on you, you will invest in your spouse because your marriage is the foundation for the whole family. And when kids see that mom and dad love each other, it's a security that allows them to thrive. Now, the last, the fifth thing I wanted to share with you is that old school moms realized that kids need competence more than excessive praise. Our culture tells us to praise kids constantly. And while I do believe children need positive affirmation, they are more motivated by competence, not compliments. Now, don't misunderstand me. I do think kids need encouragement, and they need to know that we're proud of them. But excessive praise is not what builds confidence in them. Accomplishing something hard does. So don't solve every problem for your kids and rush in every time they're frustrated. Let them struggle and figure things out. When a three-year-old finally learns how to button his shirt, what truly motivates him isn't your excessive applause. It's the deep satisfaction of realizing I did it. This is the kind of confidence that kids learn through effort. Now, I don't think we need to go back and recreate life 100, 200 years ago, but I do think we can recapture some of the common sense we've lost. Children need mothers who are warm, present, responsive, and at the same time, mothers who aren't afraid to say no, who expect their children to respect their authority, who lovingly correct, who prepare them for adulthood instead of protecting them from every difficulty. I'd love to hear from you. What's one piece of parenting wisdom from an older generation that you think we've lost? And if you enjoyed this video, you may enjoy the video I did last week where I share how we thrive on a single income as a family of 12. So my challenge to every mom watching, your kids don't need a perfect mom. With a firm dependence on the Lord and His word, they need your present, responsive, and confident mothering. Thanks for watching. I'll see you next week.