How Do I Make Sure My Kids Don't Act Entitled?

Michael's going to start us off in Iowa. Hey, Michael, how are you? Wonderful. How are you better than I deserve? What's up? So my question is, as you're helping people in their financial journey and becoming debt free, when you get to that point that you're financially free from any payments and you have children that are in the house. I understand that, you know, instilling the values that you, you know, don't use debt in your everyday life. And, you know, when you get to that point and you're still having, you know, younger kids at home, how do you, how did you do it with your children? So that way, you know, as they moved out of the house, they weren't feeling entitled or, you know, Oh, you know, mom and dad have money. So, you know, I can basically use what they have. So how do you keep becoming from becoming wealthy and it's screwing up your kids? Exactly. Like entitlement is arrogance. It's I'm do something that I didn't earn. Okay. You can, you can, you can fix that with kids regardless of the amount of money in your house. Okay. So Ramsey kids growing up, um, were, uh, entitlement was not something we allowed and self-centered self-centeredness was not something we allowed and they're very similar. So a couple of things we did, and I'm going to send you a copy of the number one bestseller Rachel and I did together called smart money, smart kids. Uh, and so there's a couple of items. Uh, let's start with a very, uh, philosophical highbrow thing. Um, contentment is almost never around entitled people. Contentment comes from gratitude. I'm thankful Lord. Thank you for what I have. And it helps you to be content in what you have. And so our children, it was not an option. We trained them in their gratitude muscle. Thank you, please. Yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. We're from the South. You're going to have, you're going to have manners and you're going to, uh, you're not going to, uh, allow someone to impose themselves across your boundaries or do something evil or wrong to you. That's not what we're saying, but thank you. I'm sorry. Verbal generosity sets the table for the rest of this discussion. And then the rest of the discussion and it's all age appropriate. Okay. But it does melt a grandpa's heart when my two year old or three year old is barely talking is thank you, Papa. Or maybe you can't even, maybe it wasn't even enunciated that well, right? Uh, you know, some baby talk version, right? But thank you, Papa. It changes my whole life when that happens. Right. When I watch that, cause that's gratitude and gratitude is what's missing in entitled people. And so, um, once you do that, then we taught our kids to do four basic things in the money thing that were character issues. We built their muscle age appropriately. Number one, they learned to work. You don't have an option. If you're a Ramsey, you're going to work. Now we didn't send three-year-olds to the salt mines. Okay. It's age appropriate, but when you're 16 and you're exhausted because you've been in the backyard with your old man, cutting trees or cleaning the furniture or whatever all day long. Oh, cry me a river. Your butt's going to be out there in the sun, sweating like your old man doing this stuff. Work physical labor is good work. That is mental that you're mentally and emotionally exhausted. When you're through with, there is dignity in work. There is no dignity in sloth. And so age appropriately, intense intensity, increasing with age. You had to work if you're a Ramsey, because that's where money comes from. It doesn't come from the government. I'm sorry, Joe Biden. It doesn't come from you. I'm sorry, Donald Trump. It doesn't come from you. None of you have ever sent me any money, except some of you sent some of my money back to me, but none of you sent me any money that wasn't already mine in the first place, because I'd already sent you more than that, and so that's how that works now, once you learn to work, then we had three other muscles we need to build and that's the muscle of generosity. And that's not only holding the door and saying thank you and please, and putting the dishes in the dishwasher for your mama, because you say, I love you that way, but the generosity is also you give money away, age appropriately. Oddly enough, you don't have to teach young children that. They will try to give too much away. They're much more generous than we selfish adults are. Number two, they need to learn to give, save. They need to save money, build a savings muscle. Learn to set a goal, learn to work towards a goal, and then number three, spend, wise spending, and people that can do all four of those things when they leave home at 18, don't ever move back into your basement. They work, they save, they give, they spend, they're grateful, they say please and thank you, and they mean it, and they know the access of the world does not run through the top of their entitled little head, and they don't end up becoming activists, they actually get a job and produce something for the culture. I would just add one thing, Michael, and I'm in the middle of it right now with three teens, and I think we as parents need to let our kids struggle more, and what I mean by that is put them in a place where they must struggle and then allow the struggle, whether that be learning an instrument or a new job, right? Because when you're taking on a job for the first time at 15, that's pretty You got one in football practice. Yes, sir. That's strong. I think whether it's a sport or it is some type of extracurricular activity, I interviewed Malcolm Gladwell about this many, many years ago, one of the great thinkers on the planet, and he essentially said this, and what happens is, is when we as parents try to keep our kids from a place of struggle, then what happens is, is they begin to expect benefit or success instead of appreciate it, and it's much like Dave just said on the working part, but you know, entitlement to me is when I expect something, not appreciate something, and struggle is huge. When you grow up in a household like that, or a household like I grew up in, or you grew up in, if we got triggered on something, there were no safe places. No. In fact, we did actually... Triggered meant your butt was about to go to work. Well, you know, to your point, I would never dream of getting triggered with my dad, because I'll tell you what would have been triggered next, is I could hear the leather belt whistling through the belt loops as he pulled it off. No, but I'm talking about, if you get, if you have a problem with something, you don't expect someone else to fix it or to keep you safe when you've survived a struggle, and so that's the thing. But when you actually taste it and feel it, you go, wait a second, I appreciate... Well, when you have overcome obstacles, it builds character, it builds muscle, it builds confidence, it builds dignity. When no one has overcome a struggle, there's no dignity in their life. Hang on, we'll send you a copy of Smart Money, Smart Kids to get you started on that. That's a great question. Thanks for letting us get up on a soapbox.