The Moment Emily Blunt Broke Every Celebrity Rule on Live TV

Someone's motioning something sexual to me over there. He was like this. Most actresses pick their words carefully. Emily Blunt? She picks the wildest ones possible and somehow makes them the funniest thing you've ever heard. Shut the f*** up! She brings that exact same chaotic energy to every single interview. How sweaty are you right now? Uh, pretty sweaty but only in spots. Ooh, which spots? Come on. Under the arms. Crotch? Yeah, when you said it was hot as balls, it's hot as my balls. It's hot as my balls. When you sweat, where do you tend to sweat the most? What makes Emily so lovable is that she is always the first person to make herself the punchline. And he went, taxi. And I went, yes! And he went, taxi. He's Simon English, Simon French. Do your kids, are your kids' friends impressed by what you do? Not really. No? I mean, sometimes the parents try to sort of recruit them. And they're like, that's Mary Poppins. And I'm there in my sweatpants and the kids are like, it's not. Really not. But honestly, nobody brings out Emily's savage side quite like Dwayne Johnson. Watching them bicker is like a master class in sibling rivalry. Where are you going? Oh, no. What do you mean, no? Oh, no. Alright, enough. Enough. Listen, the company's doing great, okay? You're doing great. Guys, I don't count. Just the most followed American in the world. Listen, it's gross. It's gross. Move on. Next question. I don't know. God delivered. I signed for it. This is your new favorite. And do you notice it never quite gets a laugh? No. But nothing captures her zero-filter essence quite like the moment she completely turns the tables on talk show hosts. I was saying, like, is it just unbelievably painful for a guy when you get kneed or punched in the balls or anything like that? And he was like, it's, like, unbelievable. Like, you can't compare it to getting punched in the boob. It doesn't compare. Because I was like, well, surely it's probably the same if I get punched in the tit or something. And he was like, not at all the same. And then he said something which I found very interesting. He said, I think it would be more painful. I can't believe I'm talking about this. And I want to ask you if this is true. More painful sometimes, like, a tap on the ball might be as painful as a punch in the ball. Is this true? I'm glad you asked. That brutal honesty runs deep. And if you think she filters herself around child actors, think again. Before I had this mammoth monologue, I remember, like, really fast-paced monologue. I was just trying to focus for a second. They were like, OK, rolling, rolling. And Joel would be like, Emily, what do you get if you put the letter B in front of the word oobs? And I was like... And they were like, and action. And I was like... What is Dwayne's signature wrestling move? Is it A, the man's shoulder? Is it B, the people's elbow? Or is it C, the gentleman's reach around? It's the people's elbow. No, it's gotta be C. It's not there, the people's elbow. No, it's right in the crotch. That's where he lands it every time. Hey, Jack, could you show us what the C looks like? Can you just show us the gentleman's reach around? I don't know what it is. What is the gentleman's reach around? Show us, Jack. Wow! Underneath? Through the legs? Even Ryan Gosling had to take a hit. Hello, Emily. Wow. Bit of a frosty hello. Not at all, no. I'm just happy that we can finally put this Barbenheimer rivalry behind us. And the way this award season's turned out wasn't that much of a rivalry, so... Just let it go! It's true. You guys are doing very well. Congratulations. Thanks. But you know, I think I kind of figured out why they call it Barbenheimer and they didn't call it Oppenbarby. Why? Well, I think you guys are at the tail end of that because you were riding Barbie's coattails all summer. All right, mister, I need to paint my abs on to get nominated. You don't see Robert Downey doing that! You're kidding! Robert Downey did not paint his abs on. This is insane, Emily. This has got to stop. We have to squash this. Being British herself, Emily isn't afraid to call out her own culture. British people are notoriously terrible at taking compliments. Would you agree? Just like... So you guys, if you really like something, you say, I thought it was quite good. And to me, that is really rude because in England, you say, yeah, it was quite good, which means it was trash. Like, you hated it. How does that translate as bad? Oh, quite means not quite there. It's quite good, you know. So did people come up to you? People have said, I saw your movie, it was quite good. And I'm like, oh, all right, well, you don't have to tell me that. I was doing the best I could not to stand next to McConaughey in that courtroom and go, So that's like all he was thinking about the whole time. Getting sworn in with Matthew McConaughey looking on makes you like a double American. Double American. And actually, as I was getting sworn in, I was like this, and I could see him in my peripheral going, like, as he's hearing the things I had to do, things like renouncing my queen. Oh, you had to renounce your queen, yeah. Which is horrible. Yeah, I guess so. Queen Elizabeth was just like... How do you do it? Sometimes it's just her accidental choice of words that leaves everyone in absolute stitches. Because you had to be semi-naked, or nearly naked with him. Yeah, which is mortifying, obviously, having to do any of those scenes. But, I mean, it was distracting doing it with someone like Tom Hanks, who I've grown up watching, and all I could think of was, like, Splash and Big, and... Oh, no, I didn't say that. You don't have to think about it. T-F-U. S-T-F-U. Sssshh. Shut the f*** up. We mustn't say it. Very rude. BBC, keep it fresh. I think you told me that when your mom met Ryan, she was quite smitten by him. She was so... She was like, you look very nice in that white suit. I was like... I was like, alright. It is weird, like how we... I was like, you're at a 10 on the creep factor right now. Before she was an Oscar-nominated actress, she actually tried to be a pop star. I could have been Britney. You could have been Britney? What happened? Why weren't you... Aren't you Britney? Because I realized that I'm not good at dancing. I think I... Who approached you and tried to get you involved? I don't want to tell you too much because I feel like someone's going to find these songs that I wrote. Oh, you have songs. Do you want to know the name of one of them? Yes, very much. Ring It Up. There's a song called Ring It Up. It will never see the light of day. Did you write the song? No. No, I can't write. Uh-huh. And they said, I think you have a nice voice and I think that you could be a pop star. I said, I can't dance. They said, don't worry about it. Uh-huh. We'll teach you. It didn't work. I tried to learn and then I was doing a play. First job was with Judi Dench. Oh, wow. Yeah, the dame. Uh-huh. And she said, oh, no, darling. You can't do both. You can't act and do that. She talked you out of it. She talked me out of it. She was jealous. She put the kibosh on it. Emily also has this rare gift where she completely transforms into the characters of her own stories. Amazing nurse who came in and she looked at Hazel and she goes, damn, your baby is so cute. I went, oh, really? She went, she is gorgeous. And I went, Mabel, I think you say that to all the mothers. And she went, no, I don't. She said, when I know a baby ugly, I say, you had a baby. Went out for dinner at Chili's, I think. The girl who was serving me was enormous. I think she got freebie meals at Chili's. Nothing wrong with that. And she comes up and she goes, did anyone ever tell you you look a lot like Emily Blunt? And I said, I have heard that, yes. And she went, are you Emily Blunt? And I went, yeah. And she went, what are y'all doing here? And then she was like, are y'all shooting a movie here? And I said, yeah, I'm shooting a film called Looper. And she went, Looper? And I went, yeah. And she went, y'all just made that up. Are your kids getting your accent or are they getting your husband's accent? Well, Hazel had my accent for a really long time and would say things like water, which I was really proud of. And then the other day she goes, can I have some water? And I went, it's water. And she was like, no, it's water. Seriously, she has absolutely zero filter and nobody is safe. You like to touch the wood? I love touching wood. And you like to touch the wood six times? Yeah, each. Every piece of wood I see. How much wood do you say? A lot. Well, first of all, let me congratulate you on your wood-finding capabilities. She's a master at roasting her own appearance, too. I would walk next to him. People would take pictures of us kind of walking next to each other on set and I looked like his child. Well, before I go, I was just wondering really quickly, since you're in a biopic, who would you want to play you in a biopic? Bet you Stanley Tucci can play me. Yeah, my sister did the funniest joke last night. We went for sushi and my sister said to him, she goes, it's kind of like my husband's in front of me, except it's like someone went, and it just blew him off. It was like... Of course, the people closest to her love to give that savage energy right back. But Emily always gets the final laugh. Just ask Robert Downey Jr. You said, ignore Emily. She ate a bad clam last night at one Q&A. Ignore Emily. She's tripping on mushrooms at another. Go easy on Emily tonight. She's had a few margaritas. Yeah. Emily's peaking on a weed gummy right now. And ignore Emily. She's wearing a Z-pack of rash cream. No. Oh. Listen. Here's the thing. And listen, this is going to be such a low-hanging fruit, because I've lost my voice. I sound like I've been raving. I could be on a weed gummy for all we know. But... How did you lose your voice? Because I was screaming at you to take a Z-pack for your chlamydia that you had.