"If it was up to me, I'd just kill you" (Jack Reacher 1 + 2 Best PUNCHLINES) ⚡

Hey, that's our sister. She a good kisser? Hey, outside. Pay your check first. I'll pay later. You won't be able to. You think? All the time. You should try it. It's a great joke, but I'm gonna beat your ass. Do you wanna do that here or outside? Outside. Stay here, Sandy. I don't mind the sight of blood. Well, it means you're not pregnant anyway. You still think you're funny now, creep? Shut your mouth, Sandy. No one is talking to you. It's your last chance to walk away. Are you kidding? It's five against one. It's three against one. How do you figure it? Well, once I take out the leader, which is you, I'll have to contend with one or two enthusiastic wingmen. Last two guys, I always win. What, you done this before? It's getting late. Remember, you wanted this. Okay. Now we know who's who. Let's get this done. That's a pretty impressive response time, fellas. Do it! Hands behind your back! I heard you. Jesus Christ. Lee's Diner, four down and two MS vehicles. What the hell happened here? Somebody run them over? No, man. It was a fight. One guy took them all out in, like, seconds. He's still in there. That's him. Turn around, mister. Let me see your hands. Slowly. Military ID expired. Thirty-eight bucks and a toothbrush, but no home address. In other words, homeless. Aggravated assault is a second-degree felony in this state, mister. Reacher, first name Jack? No middle name. You're looking at 10 to 20 years once those boys you beat out there are fit to testify. Process him. Get him to county. Two things are gonna happen in the next 90 seconds. Excuse me. First, that phone over there's gonna ring. Second, you're gonna be wearing these cuffs on your way to prison. Well, that is one magnificent prophecy, Mr. Reacher. That'll be a Major Turner of the 110th CID Military Police in Alexandria, Virginia. You and those boys out there made a mistake operating on land owned by the U.S. Army. What are you talking about? Kidnapping illegals. Selling them. MPs are on the way now. If it were up to me, I'd just kill you. She's gonna keep on ringing. Sheriff Raymond Wood? The guy you didn't count on. Reacher, is it you? No, I mean her. Well, she's gotta be if you're not here in one hour. Do I have to tell you how this works? You bounce me around to make sure I'm not followed, then walk me into an ambush and kill me. You ruined my surprise. Well, I could do one better. I went down to the gun range at Hinge Creek. Got the picture? Prints? I'm going to the feds. Lawyer's all yours. Hey, Zack. Thank God I'd like to kill you. What's a winner take all? Listen to me, you prick. I will kill this bitch if you're not here in one- Shit. I am not a hero. I'm a drifter with nothing to lose. You killed that girl to put me in a frame. I mean to beat you to death and drink your blood from a boot. And I'll be along when I am damn good and ready. If she doesn't answer the phone when I call this number, if I even think you've heard her, I disappear. And if you're smart, that scares you. Because I'm in your blind spot. And I have nothing better to do. You got a pen? Don't need one. I had a dollar for every time the army called a corps for help. You have something for me? Yeah. You're kidding, right? Just because I saw you shoot 10 years ago doesn't mean I'll let you kill some asshole with my gun. I told you how serious this was. Yeah, I showed up, didn't I? So let's get to it. How long are we supposed to do this? I'm getting hungry. Just be patient. What do you think he's eating? Shut up. New gun? Yep. Ah, it's nice. It makes your hands look big. Hey, you like big hands? Put one of these in your face and then it'll carry on. Hey, hey. Where'd he go? I don't know, maybe he went to the pisser. You're supposed to be watching him. What do you think I've got, eyes in the back of my head? How's it going? Dope. Show me. Throw him back. I don't like being followed. It's a haircut. All you contractors go to the same barber? Arms. I'm gonna break your legs. I'm gonna break your neck. What you hear is excitement. Hey, you! Get out of there! Nice try, Jack. I found a way to hurt you like you've never hurt before. There, Emerson. It was staring me right in the face. One piece that just didn't fit. The quarter. Nobody would have thought to dump that meter. Not even me. You were wrong about my father. I wouldn't make a big thing of it. Who is he? That's John Doe number two. Man on the grass, you know him. The thing under the bed. They call him the Zack. Zack. Prisoner. What's your real name? I was born in October. When I get to my birthday, I'm gonna pull the trigger. One. Two. Choloviak. Prisoner human being. That's your real name? That's what I remember. Were you really gonna shoot him? I knew I wouldn't have to. One look at this guy and you know he'll do anything to survive. One look at me and you know I'm not. Yes, I have an emergency. Yes, I'll hold. We're in no hurry. With a name like yours, you're gonna feel right at home. Prison. In America. Retirement home. If I go to prison at all. You think you're gonna walk? You are our oldest drifter wanted for murder. Meanwhile, I am an old man in the wrong place at the wrong time. Thanks to you. Who is left to say otherwise? Who? We'll see which one of us goes to prison. My bet? Neither one. What did you do? And you're definitely gonna have to kill him. Give me the phone. Wait. Toss it over. Fellas? Good, Jack! Killing you isn't gonna be enough though. So I'm gonna take back my promise about not hurting the little girl. Never gonna happen. Sure it is. One day, she'll be walking home from school. Or she'll be out on a date. Or hanging out with her friends. And you won't be there to protect her.