How to Say Goodbye
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Video Summary
AI GeneratedPersonal growth and becoming the best version of oneself inevitably require change, and change necessitates saying goodbye. This process extends beyond minimalism and physical possessions to include habits, beliefs, and relationships. By embracing the necessity of letting go, individuals can remove distractions and burdens to make room for a more fulfilling future.
I posted a quote recently here on YouTube, and it was very well received.
Tons of likes, comments. Thank you for that, by the way.
If you didn't see it, the quote was this,
Becoming the best version of yourself comes with a lot of goodbyes.
Clearly, it is a message that resonates with people interested in minimalism.
But the quote is about more than saying goodbye to physical possessions.
Becoming the best version of ourselves comes with lots of different types of goodbyes.
If you've pursued any kind of personal growth in health, faith, career, purpose, minimalism,
you know exactly what I'm talking about. Growth always requires change.
And change, by its very definition, requires some things coming to an end and new things beginning.
We say goodbye to old habits, beliefs, and possessions.
We say goodbye to people and places.
We say goodbye to past versions of ourselves and previous versions of normal.
Not because it is easy or always even forced upon us,
but because growth requires change and change requires goodbyes.
So, if we are going to grow, we need to learn how to say goodbye.
Here's how to do it.
Number one, to say goodbye well, we need to set our minds clearly on who we are trying to become.
Becoming the best version of ourselves is something we should all desire and strive for.
And the best way to start saying goodbye to those things keeping you from it
is to remember why you are making the change in the first place.
C.S. Lewis once wrote,
there are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.
It's a quote that I learned early in my journey toward minimalism,
and I've thought a lot about it since because it applies so often in life.
Picture the better you you are striving for.
The more you can see it in your mind, the easier it becomes to say goodbye.
Not easy, but easier.
Number two, weigh the cost of not saying goodbye.
I define minimalism as the intentional promotion of the things we most value
and the removal of everything that distracts us from them.
Minimalism isn't about removing the things we love.
It's removing the things that keep us from the things we love.
And once we feel the weight and count the cost of buying
and accumulating physical possessions we don't need,
it becomes easier to remove them.
The same is true of every goodbye in our lives.
The more we weigh the cost of keeping the habit, the addiction, the comfort,
the easier it becomes to find the motivation to remove it.
There are some things you need to stop carrying simply because they are too heavy.
Number three, entertain the idea you could be wrong.
Humility belongs in every goodbye.
The people who love us most may see things we don't.
They may recognize patterns that we're blind to.
Now, I'm not suggesting that you let others make your decisions about when to say goodbye.
But if the people who love you best are trying to communicate that a goodbye is not necessary
or that it's incorrect, lend a listening ear.
Stay open and humble and know that there is wisdom in good counsel.
Ask questions before you walk away, not after.
Consider the possibility that you might be wrong, not so that you'll stay stuck,
but so you'll move with wisdom and grace and confidence into the new you.
A fourth key to saying goodbye is to grieve what you're leaving, even if it needed to go.
This is a step we can often miss.
Our thinking is, if this goodbye is for a good reason, why do I feel bad about it?
Sometimes, because of that question, we hold on longer.
But there are lots of things in our life that serve an important purpose for a period of time
that don't need to be carried forever.
And even worse, they may limit our progress going forward.
When Marie Kondo suggests thanking your possessions before letting them go,
it's because she understands this point.
Saying goodbye, even for good reasons, can be difficult.
It's okay to grieve the passing of what was or what you hoped would be.
Growth requires change, and change can sometimes be painful.
Number five, decipher if the goodbye happens all at once or slowly.
Some goodbyes are best done quickly and completely.
I met a good friend for coffee many years ago.
She told me how she was in the midst of going 30 days with no sugar.
I didn't believe such a thing was even possible until I tried it several years later.
And when I did, I learned something important about me.
Simply deciding to eat less sugar doesn't work for me.
If I eat a little, I eat a lot.
The best way for me to eat less sugar is to eliminate it completely.
Sometimes, our goodbyes look like this.
Other times, it's wiser to go slow.
The important thing is to make a plan.
A sixth step in learning how to say goodbye is to get back up again if you fail.
You will say goodbye to a habit, and you'll reach for it again.
You will declutter a room and then buy something you don't need.
You will work desperately hard to overcome a temptation
or change an element of your personality and fail.
When you do, get back up and say goodbye again.
You only fail if you quit.
Or is it you only fail if you don't quit?
Lastly, find pride in the person you are becoming.
It's easy to look back and feel regret.
Why didn't I do this sooner?
Why didn't I declutter a long time ago?
Why did I buy all this stuff?
Why didn't I change my habits sooner?
Why did I live that way for so long?
Why did I hold on longer than I should have?
But regret is a poor use of our energy because you cannot change the past.
You can only learn from it.
But when we do learn from it, we redeem the past by making it serve us going forward.
Ann Voskamp says it this way,
No amount of regret changes the past.
And then she continues,
No amount of anxiety changes the future.
But any amount of gratitude changes the present.
And that is true.
Rather than feeling regret about the past,
find gratitude and pride in the change you are making and the person you are becoming.
Exchange regret for gratitude and press on toward better days ahead.
Becoming the best version of yourself will require goodbyes
to old habits, to beliefs, to possessions that weigh you down,
to comforts you thought were enriching you, sometimes even to people.
But we all have the capability to live our best life going forward.
And that is a journey we should all be ready to embark upon.