Can You Survive This Try Not To Laugh¿ 💀 Kids Saying The Most SAVAGE Things! 🤣

Good morning team. Vacation is over. Buddy, we are retired. I'm your new boss. Now stand up, change my diaper. Okay boss, you're so cute. What are you doing with the Amazon box? Returning my new brother. He's broken. Honey, you can't return a baby. Dad said Amazon takes anything back in 30 days. Ice cream. Not now buddy, I'm busy watering. I help you water. Oh yeah, what's your price? One big ice cream. Deal, just don't make a mess. All done, ice cream. Doggy hot. He's in the sun buddy. No hat, no water. He tired. Tired from following you? Yes, need cool. How can we help? I have to taste it first. Daddy is the safety inspector. You just wanted my chips. No, I'm checking for poison. Then test mom's cooking. That's the really real danger. Mommy, daddy's baby is very quiet. Sweetie, I'm not pregnant. It's just a taco belly. No, you need to push. Don't cry baby, kindergarten is so much fun. Yeah, there are slides, toys and lots of pretty teachers. See, daddy wish he could go to kindergarten too. When daddy, you go to school, I will go to your office. Oh, what are you doing sweet girl? Tuck puppy in. He needs a blankie, just like me. That's so sweet. Is he your baby? My baby, I'm his mom now. Oh no, sweetie, don't pull daddy's plants. Grow cookie. You're gonna grow a cookie in my plant pot? Just give me five minutes honey. Use the sand mom. I have a clock on my phone sweetie. No, mommy's five minutes is a trap. Mommy pretty, lipstick time. Oh sweetie, you're giving me a very special makeup, huh? Pretty, like princess, perfect. Oh my god, I look like a clown. You're such a funny little makeup artist. Grandma, are you gonna sleep in the garage tonight? The garage? No sweetie, why would you ask that? Because daddy told mommy you have a motor mouth. And he wishes he could just park you out there and take your keys. Sweetie, why are you putting puffs on the fridge? Fridge has ouchies, puff band-aid. Oh no, how many ouchies does it have? Lots, need all puffs. All better now? No daddy, stop that stretchy thing. But coach, I need to get these muscles. No muscles, watch me, real exercise. Sweetie, it's not grass, it's daddy's hair. It just doesn't grow as much as it used to. No, we need to water it and no more staying up late. Oh my god, even you're bullying me about this. Have you seen your dad? I need him to mow the lawn. He's playing hide and seek. Hide and seek? With who? You are right here. With you. He said if he sits on the toilet, he is invisible to chores. Oh really? Well the wi-fi is about to become invisible too. Mama, look. Sweetheart, that's a bear, a cartoon bear, not daddy. No, same sweater. That's the store daddy. I want to go see him. Bye bye store daddy. What are you doing with my cotton pads, honey? Bath time, stay dirty. Are you giving them a bubble bath? Yes, and soft. Dinner is ready. I made my special casserole. No thank you, I'm already full. Full? What did you eat? Dad bought us nuggets. He said it builds a protective layer for your cooking. Mommy? Yes, sweetie? If I wish on a shooting star, will it really come true? Of course, if you really mean it. Then can you wish for dad to stop farting tomorrow? It's too stinky. Does mommy's kiss make it better? Yes, it's magic. Should daddy kiss the other hand? No, your beard is sandpaper. It'll cause an infection. Look how good the dog is. He sits for a treat. You are a very good trainer, mommy. Thank you, sweetie. It just takes patience. Is that why you gave daddy a beer when you finally took out the trash? The scale is definitely broken. It says I gained five pounds. Maybe it's just the holiday food? No, it's not broken. It's just counting the donuts hiding in your car. Mama, puppy can't see. He needs a haircut. Oh yeah? You gonna give him a little trim, sweet peas? Puppy, watch me. Silly puppy. Mom, why is daddy eating angry little trees? It's broccoli, babe. He's trying to lose weight. Well, he's drooling at my pizza like a sad puppy. I'm so fancy. Wow, the tiny fashion queen is here. Whoa, slow down. You're gonna spin right out the room. Spin pretty. Okay, okay. You're officially the silliest princess in town. Wow, daddy looks so professional for his video meeting. What do you mean? His shirt is working, but his legs are still on vacation. Mommy, did you paint your face? It's a mud mask, bug. It makes mommy super pretty. No, daddy said you look like a grumpy swamp frog. I'm the chef now. Yes, chef. What's on the menu today? Cookies. Only cookies. No veggies. Oh no, chef. That's not a balanced meal. I'm the chef. I make the rules. I'm shaving like daddy. Yeah? You're gonna be nice and smooth like daddy? But daddy's face is spiky, not smooth. Ouch, that's a burn. What's your solution then, boss? I fix it. No more spiky face. My new shoes. So pretty. You like them? They sparkle just like you. I'm big now. I can walk. I can run. Whoa, slow down, big girl. Where are you gonna run off to? To the park to show all the ducks my shoes. Mommy's beautiful photos on Instagram. Yes, but she uses the magic beauty filter. The magic filter? What does it do? It makes her look like a completely different lady. Daddy asked who the pretty stranger was. Now he sleeps on the couch. Who left all these toys on the floor? Daddy said we are waiting for the magic cleaning fairy. Oh really? And where is this fairy? Daddy said she comes home from work at 6 p.m. Buddy, are your ears broken? Why aren't you listening to me? My ears work fine. I'm just practicing. Practicing for what? To be a husband. Dad says the secret is to just nod and tune out. Mommy, I can be you. Oh really? Excuse me. One, two, three. I'm serious right now. Do you like learning? Yes. Learning what? How adults talk. Did you learn it? Yes. When things happen, just say, I'm only doing this for your own good. Smoke! Daddy, step back. Whoa there, Chief. It's just a little smoke. No fire here, buddy. No, Daddy. Now watch me. All safe. You can keep cooking now.