My Mom Expects Me To Pay $25k For Her Funeral

Brought to you by CHL, a budget-friendly, faith-based alternative to health insurance. chministries.org slash budget. So this call is mainly about my mother. She is on limited income. She makes about $1,600 a month from Social Security, and she hasn't made any afterlife plans. And we went to the funeral home recently, and they quoted us about $25,000 to $26,000. I'm sorry. It gets, it gets, it gets better. So obviously, you know, we don't have that kind of money. So they, they said, well, we could do this on a payment plan. $600 for the next five years of your life. And, um, I don't even know. Yeah. I don't even know if my mom has that amount of time. So I, I, uh, I'm torn because I'm not her last wish. Well, that's why I called it. I know. I mean, I listen, I love people in my life, but the deal is it's not her. She doesn't have any money, right? She does not have any money. Okay. So she's not talking about paying for this. She's asking you to pay for this. Well, she didn't, she doesn't put it that way. She hasn't explicitly asked for it, but in a way, yeah, she does. I mean, that's, that's the expectation. Like she's not got a house that's going to be sold that pays for it. She does own her house. It's, it's in pretty bad shape though. And honestly, I don't know what kind of money we're going to be able to get out of it. Well, you're going to get 25,000 out of it. I hope so. I hope at least that, yeah. If she wants to spend her money on her funeral, I don't mind that. Okay. I wouldn't do that, but I'm not going to pay for it out of my pocket if I'm you. Okay. And I think that's absurd. I think she got sold by a salesman. Yeah. They wanted, they wanted $400 for a video that they were going to make with some of her pictures. Like there was a bunch of add-ons and ridiculous things that they wanted to throw in there. So mom, you did not live your life in a Mercedes and you shouldn't die in a Mercedes. 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You're saying that it's going to take some time from the time that she passes to get the money from the sale of the house. A whole lot of time. Yeah. Because her house is in horrible condition. So it's going to take over a year probably. And you're saying how do I pay? Well, we don't know that. You could auction it the next weekend. I mean. Yeah, that's true. Because it's junky. Just have an auctioneer come out and sell the stupid thing and pay for the funeral. But I really would advise her to spend money on the funeral appropriate to her situation. There's no gain spiritually in what you spend on a funeral. There's no gain for the people that are left behind that are grieving over what you spend for a funeral. And so no, I really, I think she got sold. Yeah. I think matter of fact, I would use a completely different funeral operator. I think this person is a Okay. Because I don't think if I'm, if I own that funeral home, I don't sell that lady to a $25,000 package because this lady's broke. And so I'm not asking you to put it on payments. I'm not doing business with this guy. Okay. I would go to a different funeral home and say, I want the cheaper casket. You can buy a casket at Costco. You know that. Yes, I do absolutely know that. And they're what, 1300 bucks or something. I saw it the other day. I couldn't believe it. Costco's got freaking everything. And if you buy six, you get a deal. No, I'm kidding. This is getting worse and worse. But truly, the average funeral cost is somewhere between 7,800 and $8,500. That's the average nationally. Yeah. And that's the average, including rich people. Exactly. That's, thank you, Dave. Yeah. So it just gives you a clear indicator that you were being. I would set a budget of five to six grand if I were her. If I'm you, I'd be willing to pay that and be reimbursed when the house sells. I would not. And, and, oh, and that's after she dies. So after she dies, we'll talk the funeral home and see how long you can wait to pay the bill. A lot of times they'll wait until the state gets some stuff cleaned up. There may be a little bit of money in her checking or whatever. And you, you should have your emergency fund in place. And if you want to pay the six grand under the condition, you're going to be reimbursed when the house sells. That's fine. I wouldn't do any more than that. That's plenty here. Um, and I wouldn't do business with the people you did that too, because that just creeps me out. That's such a, you're 100% right. That is such a hard conversation to have. That sounds like a terrible conversation. Yeah. But I mean, she can choose to do otherwise. Yeah, she can choose. But she doesn't have the choice to prepay it because she doesn't have any money. Prepaying a funeral, by the way, people's really dumb. Never prepay a funeral. Preplan your funeral. That's wonderful. That's a gift to your loved ones. You mean like buying the burial plots ahead of time? If you want to buy the burial plot, pick the casket, pick out how the service, write everything down, how you want it to go and set the budget on it. And they can just write the checks when you die. Then that's a, that's a gift. People that are grieving don't have to make decisions. Yeah, it's already been done. Did mom want the Chevrolet coffin or did she want the Mercedes coffin? I don't know about mom. What would mom really want? Oh brother. Write it all down. Don't bury me in the diamond. Wear it, you know, whatever. Write it all down. Tell people that way when they're grieving, it's all planned, but do not write a check to the funeral home. Maybe by the plots, if you want to do that, but do not write a check prepaying the funeral, the funeral home, because from that point forward, you make zero return on your money except for the inflation rate of a funeral, which is about the normal inflation rate, about four or 5%. So you're making nothing on your money. Funeral homes got your money for what? 5, 10, 15, 20 years. I don't know. That's a good, and don't prepay, just pay it when they got pre-planted is fine. So I would say, mom, here's what I suggest. I love you. I think a $6,000 funeral is fine. The average funeral in America is seven and you don't have any money and I got to pay it when you die and it's got to be reimbursed out of the house. And I need to see the will that says that, and we can set all that up and I'll go to a different funeral home with you and we can pick out everything and plan it and you're going to be just fine. And I'm going to make sure you're taken care of with dignity and we will all be sad either way. Please don't spend the last $25,000 you have on this earth for a funeral home to have a profit. Now, does your thought process on that, does that play out the same if you're wealthy, the opportunity cost on them holding that money? For sure. Never prepay. I haven't prepaid. I don't recommend you prepay. If you want to buy the plot, that's fine, but don't prepay a funeral. It's the worst deal ever. The younger you are, the dumber the deal is. Well, yeah, because then they're holding the money even longer. Opportunity cost on that money. I mean, if you took $6,000 and you're 30, what's that going to be? It's going to be $600,000? $600,000 or $700,000 if it were invested? That's a good point. And what are you, King Tut? I mean, who needs a $700,000 funeral? I mean, come on. Okay. So no, you don't need that funeral. That's a bad deal. No, opportunity costs a big deal on this stuff. And this is how these people make a living. And they do really well. The margins are, as you might guess, based on this discussion, pretty incredible. Yeah. Oh boy. Yeah. Because he was about to get sold. Man, did get sold. Mama done signed up for the whole thing for her son to pay $600 a month for five, just a measly five years. Easy 60 payments. Oh boy. Oh boy. It's like a car payment on a casket. The vehicle, a hearse. Can't even drive it. Can't even drive it. We're making too many jokes. Well, I mean, you got to have some fun with this stuff. People are dying everywhere. You got to have some fun. So we've learned something valuable here. Don't prepay your funeral. And if you want to pay ridiculous sum for your funeral, you need to have that ridiculous sum in the bank. Don't ask your loved ones to pay for that. That's unfair. That is not right. Mom, you should not be doing that. And the funeral home sales guy ought to be smacked silly. That's just irresponsible at a minimum, immoral at a maximum. And so don't sell people stuff they can't afford, people. It's not a good way to make a living. You should make a living otherwise. You should do something completely different from that. Christian Healthcare Ministries can save your family hundreds of dollars on healthcare every month. Learn more at chministries.org slash budget.