The Range Rover L322 | The Perfect Car

Morons say, buy something affordable, buy something dependable, and buy something exceptionally economical. All I can say to that, however, is bollocks. Do as Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and his grumpiness Jeremy Clarkson did, buy an L322. The car that you choose to drive every single day describes a lot about you as a person. It tells everybody about your character, where you likely send your kids to school, and it gently reaffirms all of your life's decisions. Are you a risk taker? Are you keeping up with the Joneses? Or are you clinically insane, which begs the question, what do you want your car to say about you? Another couple of things that we have to pay attention to when purchasing a car here in the UK is our irritatingly cantankerous weather, our abysmally maintained road network, and the dwindling skill level of those that we have to share at our highways. And all of this becomes ever more so important when we get to the darkest, wettest, most miserable season of them all, winter. The options list gets even smaller still once you factor all of these incredibly scientific factors into play. But don't panic, because at the tippy top of that now minuscule list sits this behemoth, the icon, the daddy, the Range Rover L322. Now I know what you're thinking, oh look, another YouTuber has gone and bought himself a leather clad lanyard, and he's going to try and convince himself that it was genuinely a smart purchase. And be that as it may, I genuinely believe that this is the best car you can daily in the UK today. And I'm here to prove why. The Range Rover has always been for people that claim they like the countryside, and the lifestyle that comes along with it. Even though they all live in Fulham, and the closest thing they'll ever see to a green lane is the express checkout at their local Waitrose. You see, they want to prove that they're hardy and rugged individuals, but touches of luxury and comfort are essential. And when they launched the Range Rover with the Classic, well, they've since dominated the market really. So what are our options when looking at the badge on the front? Well, we have the Classic, which given its name, it is a classic, so you're never really going to want to daily it. Then we have the P38. And the P38 is gangster, proven with its appearance in Layer Cake, but it's going to be more problematic than Bonnie Blue's child. Then we have the L405, and as brilliant as it is, it's just missing the spiritual spark of its predecessors. And then that brings us up to the latest offering, the L460. And it is the pinnacle of what a Range Rover can be. But the problem is it's so brand new, it's so unbelievably expensive, that it would be cheaper to have an Escort as your full-time girlfriend. Which leaves us with just one option. The mongrel child of BMW and Ford, L322. But what makes the L322 special? What separates it from its competition? Quite frankly, what is all the fuss about? The L322 isn't perfect, yes, they have many problems, and don't even get me started on how expensive they are to run, but all of these things are completely forgiven and forgotten about due to their ability to make you smile like a toddler who's just farted at the dinner table, or cry like Ian Beale when he's realised he has nothing left. When you spend time with these magnificent beasts, they almost become a friend to you immediately, and they inevitably break. You'll find yourself talking to it feverishly in the hope that somehow it'll end up healing itself. And then you'll be beside yourself with laughter when it completely outperforms what you believe its capabilities are. But most importantly, you'll always find yourself looking back at it after you've parked it up and you head to your local pub. Lovely to see you again, chap. How you doing, mate? You alright? How's the L322 treating you? Is it broken down yet? Very well, actually, Graham. Not a single problem so far. Just you wait, sunshine. That thing is going to bite you in the arse and it's going to cost you your kid's inheritance. Look, listen here, you underwhelming meat sack. My L322 is a delightful car which I bought with confidence because I knew all of its history before throwing down the cash. Oh, come off it. I mean, what did you really find out? Is MOT history? Read the service book? How can you really find out anything about a car? It's probably been written off for all you know. It's rather simple, actually. Because when I went to go and view the car, I typed in its registration to CarVertical and it spat out a thorough report telling me quite literally all of its history. Right. So what you're saying is it's just another way to get the MOT history, read the service book, and find out how many owners it's had. I mean, come on, even I can find that out. Alright, fair. But CarVertical is incredibly easy to use. Not only does it tell you its MOT, service history, all of its previous owners, but it also goes a lot further than that. To your earlier point, I could find out whether or not the car had been written off, what the damage was, who repaired it, and to what standard. And furthermore, I can find out if there's any outstanding finance on the car, if it's ever been stolen, and even if the clocks have been dialed back with some cheeky rolling. Bugger me! That's bloody good, that, actually. Buying cars is only scary when you don't know what you're buying. Alright, okay, fair. But getting a full report on all of the details about any car, that can't be a cheap service, right? It's actually incredibly affordable. Especially seeing as every proper YouTuber is now promoting their service. That's right. I'm a proper YouTuber now. Give it a rest. But it gets even better still. Because if you use my code, THATGUYGREY, you'll be able to get 20% off your next car vertical search. Damn! Discount code and everything! And now you can buy with confidence, why don't we just have a look at your dream daily car, shall we? Not a bloody word. Alright? See, I knew he always liked the cars, and because he used my discount code THATGUYGREY to get 20% off his search, not only did he save a load of time, but also his budget for his next L322 has massively increased. I might as well talk to you about the car that I purchased myself. This is my 2012 4.4 litre TD V8 L322 Westminster. Now the Westminster was the last of the line for the L322. It was never the highest trim spec because, well, that had always been the autobiography. However, that being said, the Westminster did come with exceptional standard equipment. Such as thick floor carpets for you to lose all of your spare change in, a sunroof, cruise control, cooled and heated seats. We also got these beautiful 20-inch wheels, and how could we forget the massive brakes that live inside of them that were borrowed from its V8 supercharged brother. This example is finished in Santorini black. And if I'm being honest, it wasn't really my first pick. I would have much preferred a Tonka green version, as seen on Her Majesty's 4.2 litre V8 supercharged version, or Buckingham blue. Essentially, what I'm trying to state is I wanted a much more regal aesthetic to the exterior of my car. Alas, I'm just a commoner. The interior is the perfect blend of ivory and black hides from ex-manure factories, like the piping down here on the seats and the dual-coloured dashboard. If you don't have piping on your seats, you don't own a Range Rover. No, you simply own a Land Rover. And then here on the centre console, we have yet more piano black trim and hard-wearing polymers. And with this later generation of Range Rover, with the introduction of the ZF8 gearbox, gone was the traditional clunky gear stick. And in its place, we had this rotary dial lifted straight from a Jaguar. This one difference genuinely separates the Range Rover from its agricultural cousins, and I won't hear any argument about it. These seats are an utter masterstroke. They're rugged, they can take a beating, but by God, don't they half look impressive. And if you're sat in the rear, they're actually raised slightly above, so you can see absolutely everything all around you. But at its very core, this car still is a Ford Transit, which means with a few little levers, you can turn your Landyacht on wheels into a commercial vehicle. And when all of the seats are folded down in an L322, its load capacity is genuinely insane, coming out at 2,100 litres. Meaning, when I helped my girlfriend move house, I could pack all of her belongings inside here in just one trip, and I could sit comfortably up front without being hit in the head by her air fryer. My only complaint about the interior is the infotainment system. It sadly ages this car like soured milk. It certainly isn't good enough when you consider that you would have paid £70,000 for this car, and back in 2012, it wasn't even good enough then. And if you even adjust that £70,000 to today's money, it would be £108,000. I mean, for goodness sake, I haven't even got Bluetooth to listen to my wide-void tunes through 19 speakers and 1,200 watts of a Harman Kardon stereo. I mean, OK, the touchscreen, it does work, but it has the aesthetic of Windows 95, and it's certainly not what you would call luxurious. You have to remember, before the L322 came to market, Land Rover wasn't the powerhouse that we know it today, because they had actually been purchased by BMW in 1994. And the boys over in Munich, they wanted to revitalise and rebrand Land Rover, and they wanted to start with their flagship, the Range Rover. Internally known as the L30 project, this was going to be BMW's undertaking of completely revitalising the Range Rover brand. As much as the P38 was considered a cool car, it wasn't a very good car. No longer was the Range Rover allowed to be just a luxurious off-roader that wobbled along the public highway, working as reliably as south-west trains, as soon as the leaves started to fall. It needed to be the greatest car in every single class that it was across. Stronger off-road capabilities, more luxury, better reliability, and unequivocally, it needed to be the best car in the world. There was, however, one problem with the L30 project. BMW sold Land Rover to Ford the year before the L322 went on sale. The result with the early cars was noticeable. Yes, it was incredibly capable, it had beautiful road manners, and it was far more luxurious than the P38. The only problem was, is the reliability was utterly pathetic. But they were plagued with shoddy electrics that would completely combust at the slightest whiff that your day was running smoothly. The two engine specifications that we had, both loaned from BMW, were actually pretty good. We had the M62 V8 petrol, and we also had the M57 straight-six diesel. The only problem with these two power plants is in the Range Rover they seemed to be kind of underwhelming and lacking somewhat. And improvements really did need to be made with these early models. There were, however, many positives to rant and rave about. The body, for example, was made from aluminium, which keeps the weight down, much like its centre of gravity. And its four-wheel drive system completely demolished the competition. But then again, you would rather hope so, given that badge on the front of it. Now, the L322 stayed in production from 2001 all the way up until 2012. We saw many little changes throughout. Most notably was with the styling. Now, many would say that they preferred the pre-facelift cars, but because I have a touch of an asthma and grew up playing Need for Speed, I much prefer the Cheshire version. The choice of engines was no longer just petrol or diesel. You could now have many different choices. They were mostly V8s. However, you could have the I hate money pack with the supercharged 4.2-litre V8 petrol or be a sensible human and get one of the TD V8s. Now, Mr Clarkson and Monsieur Metcalfe, they will tell you that the best was the 3.6 with the ZF6. However, it is known that the 4.4-litre with the ZF8 is far smoother and also a touch more fuel-efficient. Why wouldn't you have that one instead? When you drive a Range Rover, you feel as if you are above all of the nonsense going on around you with the other road users. Many people may even refer to it as an imperious driving position. And the engine. The 4.4-litre TD V8, to be specific, OK, it only pumps out 313bhp, which, let's be honest, isn't going to set the world alight. But its torque, that is its master stroke. It has 700Nm of the stuff, which means this 2.5-tonne stately manor can actually feel relatively sprightly. Towing? Yes. Muddy bank? Piece of piss. OK, getting from 0-60mph might still take 7.5 seconds. However, you get the point. Speed is certainly not what this car is about. The ride in an L322, though. Oh, it is. Chef's kiss. Absolute perfection. Nothing rides better than an L322. Period. But that doesn't mean that it bucks and rides and rolls like an over-sprung monster truck. It's confidence-inspiring, it's planted, it's stable. Like I say, it's perfect. The L322's character is that of a faithful family butler that has been with you for generations. Think of Alfred to Bruce Wayne. And you know that every time you get inside of it, click the seatbelt on, that everything is going to be fine. It's comforting, it's relaxing, it's light and it's friendly. Reliability always seems to be a dirty word when discussing British cars. Especially with Range Rovers and more, again, with the L322. I've heard horror story after horror story. But the truth of the matter is I've covered 15,000 miles in my Duchess over the past eight months and she's never let me down besides the AC being a bit of a bastard. But it was broken when I bought it. You see, maintaining an expensive car is a requirement like no other. If you hear a noise or something doesn't feel right, fix it and fix it fast. All you're doing is starving off the inevitable and you're going to give yourself a larger heartache in the future. The other way to look at it, is our Range Rovers actually unreliable? Or is it more still their owners? Now the other topic of contention is fuel economy. Yes, if you drive it like you stole it, you're only going to be able to average 15 mpg. But I don't because I'm not a tit. You see, I quite enjoy driving this car very gently, which means on a run I can get up to 38 mpg, which is really not that bad for a 2.5 tonne un-aerodynamic brick. Now where driving an L322 comes into its own is during wintertime when all of the elements are against you. Driving rain no longer feels terrifying because you're sat high and lofty and above all of the spray. Potholes, they don't really exist. Instead of jumping the car, you just flatten them. And also, let's not forget four-wheel drive, which gives you confidence in any single condition. A Range Rover's true off-road potential will never really be explored or taken advantage of by the average Joe. You see, they'll be too scared that they're going to damage the vehicle, get stuck or even worse, embarrass themselves in front of their friends. The truth of the matter is, with a car such as this, the real limiting factor is the useless, gelatinous blob sat behind the steering wheel. And problems only really arise when the pilot acts poorly. You see, we have over 280 mm of ground clearance, one of the most sophisticated four-wheel drive systems ever produced. Locking differentials, automatic hill descent and much, much more. But the L322's brilliance comes from just how easy it is to use. You see, off-roading isn't scary or have to be uncomfortable. It just all starts correctly when you use the right car. But how does this translate to the black stuff? When the going gets good and on the road? Well, in a word, confidence. If you're confident out here, then you're confident on the road. It's utterly brilliant. Now, let's talk price. Because L322's do vary massively. Yes, you can buy them from as little as £500. Not that I would recommend it. Not unless you want everyone down the pub to think that you are clinically insane. Because everything will go wrong, and I will tell you I told you so. Conversely, you can spend up to £175,000 if you fancy Queen Elizabeth's. But again, I wouldn't recommend it. The sweet spot? Well, that's anywhere from £7,500 to £20,000. For a car within this bracket, you'll find a car under 100,000 miles. Great service history. Zero damage. It's essentially perfect. At the end of the day, you get what you pay for. If you buy a nail, you will find yourself prematurely jumping into the coffin. But again, don't go and bankrupt yourself to get the perfectly fresh showroom model that at best is 14 years old. And so we arrive at the end of this mildly unhinged sermon. No, an L322 is not a sensible car. But if you want sensible, buy a Volvo or a dishwasher. They'll cost pennies to run, they'll never let you down, but they'll inspire absolutely nothing within your soul. Buying an L322 is an act of love, and love has never made sense. You don't fall in love with somebody because they're reliable, dependable and exceptionally economical. You fall in love with somebody because of the way they make you feel when they enter the room. Or in this case, how they rumble into a lay-by with a faint whistle from the turbos and the lovely little back green-lit door shuts that just remind you that you've made it. An L322 is different. They're not perfect. Act like a minor royal, dignified in public, yet so dramatic behind closed doors. It starts from the way that it rises gracefully on its air suspension. It's almost as if it's clearing its throat, as if it's about to address Parliament. It's the way that you get out, lock it, walk ten paces and turn round to check that it's still there. And it always is. Brooding, square and utterly magnificent. You don't park it. You berth it. And you don't get out. You simply disembark. An L322 doesn't shout about success. It simply assumes it. It doesn't need to prove anything. It simply exists, just towering above all of the regular crossovers and hot hatches like a stately home above modern suburbia. In a world obsessed with efficiency, minimalism and electric autonomy, the L322 is unapologetically characterful. It has passion. It has theatre. It has soul. You didn't simply buy a car. Rather, you adopted a personality. A slightly temperamental, occasionally unreliable and expensive, beautifully charming personality. No, they're not perfect. But neither are we. Buy the dishwasher if you must. But if you wish to arrive everywhere as if you own the place, buy an L322. And that is why I love this car. My Duchess. My L322. My Westminster. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for watching this video. I hope you have a fabulous day. And as you... Beautiful thing, this car.