The Turning Point of Fatherhood: Choosing a New Life | American Recovery

Having a baby is a spiritual experience. It really is. It really is. I should say, it can be. Yeah. Well, it should be. It should be. So I had both of my boys by myself, and my son, my youngest son, was asleep right across from me, like right on the other side of my bedroom wall. And I'm by myself, and I'm alone. I'm drunk. I'm just as unhappy as I've ever been. I'm lost. God doesn't exist in this time in my life. And I'm sitting there, and I've got pain meds. I've got nerve blockers from my surgery. I've got PTSD meds. I've got all these meds on my bed. And I did something that I told everybody in my life that they'd never have to worry about. I was the one that said, if you ever find me dead, you better call the police. I was killed. I love me too much to kill myself. And I'm sitting on the bed, and I took a handful of... I couldn't even tell you what all they were. It was just an assortment of them, and just downed them. And I'm sitting there, and I'm starting to get dizzy, starting to get lightheaded. I go to go back in my bed, and my phone rings. And it's my sister. And I answered the phone. And as soon as I answered, she's like, I'm just checking on you. And immediately, my brain kicks. What did you just do? And so I run into the bedroom, and I start just gagging myself. And all of this stuff starts coming out. And I told her, I said, listen, I need to call you back. I'll call you later. I'm fine. I hung up the phone. So this was, sorry, just for clarity's sake, this was a handful of... Just pain meds, nerve blockers, anxiety, anti-psychotics. I mean, it was a lot. And so I ended up passing out in my bed, and God got me up the next morning. It was a miracle. Wow. And I woke up to, what are you doing? Your son would have found you the next morning. All you've ever wanted to be was a father. That's all you've ever wanted to be. What are you doing? And that was the moment. That was the change agent for me. And since then, since that moment, how did that open you up, I should say, to relying on God? Oh, it went, for me, it went full circle. At that moment, that night, I remember laying, my boys went to their mom's house, and I remember laying in their trampoline. I don't necessarily pray, oh, Heavenly Father. I pray on the show, and I pray for dinner and stuff like that. My biggest times with God is doing this right here. I am notorious for getting in my truck and just driving down the road and going, look, dude, you know I've got this going on. I talk to Him like I talk to a normal person. And I challenge anybody to do so. It'll change your life. But that started, I was laying, it was like 11 o'clock at night. I was laying in my kid's trampoline, just laying there, just having a conversation with God. And I made a deal with Him. I said, I tell you what, if you will help me, and I will give everything to you, me, my children, my life, my career, whatever you want, because at the time, I just got medically discharged from the Army because of my hip replacement. So, dude, I lost my wife, my career, and I was already spiritually bankrupt. All this was going on at one point. So it was a make it or break it moment for me. And that night, I laid everything, and I mean everything, at His feet. And I said, this is on you. And I wasn't saved yet, but I knew He was real because of my grandparents. And so I'm like, all right, truce. All right, I'm gonna lay this at your feet. I'm gonna go to church Sunday, where all of my friends go. I'm gonna go there, show me something. And that Sunday, the sermon was on anger and rage, how to be a Christian. It's okay to be mad as a Christian, because it says, be angry, do not sin, and all of that. And it was the weirdest thing, because when it came to the salvation part of service, there was no stand up. There was no come down here. There was none of that. It was, hey, if that's you, I just want you to raise your hand. And I wasn't even thinking. It's like, God, threw my hand in the air, and I want you to pray this prayer with me. And I did that. And the whole time, I had people walk to, my eyes were bludgeoned. I'd been crying the whole service. And it was, once that happened, it's like, because remember, I have a degree in this. So then all of that knowledge that I learned in college, plus now beginning this relationship with Him, it all just kind of came together. And so I immediately went home and started thinking of all of these things that I was told in the past of what salvation looks like, what it's supposed to be. And so 20 years later, I finally decide, well, let me go look at this for myself. And so I read Acts chapter two, and I'm like, wait a minute. Well, that's not right. That guy's not right. And that began my walking, talking relationship with God. And it's still a process. But you learn to kind of, well, I don't need that anymore. Or you know what? I don't need this anymore. Folks, if you enjoyed this episode, please hit the like button on the video, the follow button on the channel. Drop a comment down below with your thoughts and questions. I'll be looking at every single one of them. And if the Spirit moves you too, head on over to PragerU.com to make a tax-deductible donation.