I Became Transgender. Here’s Why I Regret It.

I lived eight years as Laura Jensen until I woke up and realized that it was totally insane to live this out. The first time that it happened in the 50s was Christine Jorgensen but Jenner took it to the next level and then 2015 it began to explode. Are you a woman? Yes, for all intents and purposes I am a woman. My brain is much more female than it is male. Ladies and gentlemen, the courageous, the stunning, Caitlyn Jenner. We're ruining an entire generation of children. I find even hearing about it and reading about it so repugnant and so destructive to children. Trans members of this family all love each other so proudly and they all... Bringing drag performers together with little kids is kind of a perfect relationship. There are people whose gender might be a little bit of both or might even be neither. And it's time that this stuff needs to end. We need men and women to step up and say, stop this nonsense. I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. You know, my upbringing was pretty much a typical California upbringing in Los Angeles in the early 40s. It wasn't really anything remarkable. At least not until my dad began to take me over and drop me off at my grandma's house. Grandma was a seamstress and made dresses. And I became very curious about her work. And my curiosity led to her making me a purple chiffon dress that she made just to fit my perfect little four-year-old body. You know, at first it felt really exciting to have somebody telling me how wonderful and cute I was. But what I didn't realize was happening is the second grandma began to tell me how cute I looked in that purple dress, what she was really saying was that there was something radically wrong with the little boy that I really was. And so that begins this sort of creepy kind of psychological and emotional destruction that starts with inside a young boy, four years old, who doesn't know what the consequences are going to be about putting on a dress at four years old. And keeping it a secret from my parents for nearly two years until I became so accustomed to wearing that purple dress that I decided to take the dress home so that I could put it on when my parents weren't watching or when I was alone. And I could sort of listen and hear those affirmations. I became sort of addicted to the affirmations and hearing her say how cute I was. So I had the purple dress at home, but my mom found it, found it in my bottom dresser drawer. And she said, well, where did you get this dress? And I said, well, grandma made it. And that just blew the house up. My dad was upset. My mom was upset. It was supposed to be a secret. I broke the secret. And as a result of that, I could not go back to grandma's house without my mom or dad being with me. Dad didn't know what to do. His mother-in-law had just been cross-dressing his young boy. He was so angry at my grandmother that he took his anger out in his discipline on me. And he started hitting me with a hardwood floor plank when I would do something wrong. Sometimes he was just being way too critical. But it was that what was built up in him because of what happened to me. He did not know what to do. If you can imagine in 1946, 47, there's no information about kids wearing dresses. But the next part of the equation was his adopted brother, Uncle Fred, heard about me wearing the purple dress. And Uncle Fred decided that I was fair game to be sexually abused. Uncle Fred was not playing with a full deck of cards. And he'd get drinking a little bit. And he would come looking for me. And he would molest me. The emotional and psychological issues that I had from grandma affirming me, I didn't really realize the consequences of those for many years. The hardwood floor plank obviously was very devastating. And then the sexual abuse was sort of the cherry on top of the cake. I was a broken child before I was 10 years old. You know, I decided that maybe I should have been a girl. Not realizing that what I was trying to do was escape the abuse, not actually change who I was. But it resulted in me going through this process for many years of cross dressing, going out in public as a female. And so I went through this with even in my first marriage. I had two children. I was an executive for American Honda Motor Company. I worked on the Apollo space missions as an associate design engineer. But that purple dress, the hardwood floor plank, and the sexual abuse was about to take everything away. Then the next critical step was struggling with my identity. I went to a gender specialist in San Francisco who promptly identified me with gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder and promptly told me that I needed hormones and surgery. That was the treatment that he was prescribing to help me end the cycle of distress I was having about my gender because of what happened to me as a young child. The doctor I went to, his name is Dr. Paul Walker. Dr. Paul Walker was a homosexual transgender activist. He felt his job was to do like they're doing today, is to introduce people to hormones and surgery as a process of treatment. Now, keep in mind, Dr. Paul Walker was not just your average therapist. Dr. Paul Walker was the author, the primary chairperson and author of the Harry Benjamin International Standards of Care, the very same standards of care that's being used today that's called WPATH Standards of Care. His agenda was pushing transgenderism, pushing surgery, and pushing hormones recklessly and really damaging someone's life like mine. I had kind of a devastating run of events. When I was struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction, I went into a treatment facility as Laura Jensen and came out the other side. And I went through a two and a half or three-hour therapy session with my psychologist. And during that day, I went through all of the things that had happened, the sexual abuse, the emotional abuse, the wrong idea about going through this procedure, all the things I'd done wrong, the destruction I did to my children and my ex-wife. And I wrote everything down after speaking about these issues. And he put a match to those yellow line paper in the parking lot. And those papers began to burn. And the wind gently picked up the flame. And the papers were burned up. And it was sort of that cathartic moment where you realized, OK, all of that stuff now is lifted off of my shoulders. And he said, let's go back into my office and let's pray. Well, I'll be honest with you. This guy prays a lot. And he prays for a long time. And I did not want to go back in and pray with this guy because I figured I'd be there for like an hour praying. And as he prayed, I kept hearing him. And I kept thinking, is he going to end? And then there was a point in time when I couldn't hear him praying anymore. And miraculously, what I saw at that moment that I couldn't hear his voice was I saw the Lord Jesus Christ actually descending toward me with his arms stretched out. And I looked in front of me and I saw that he was reaching toward a little baby. And I looked at the baby and I go, that baby is me. The Lord is coming to claim me. And he turned to me and said, your life will be safe with me forever. And the Lord disappeared. I realized at that very moment, the Lord came to redeem and restore my life so that I will serve him every day after that date. I wanted to restore my life, bring myself back to reality. So faith played the pivotal role in me being here today. 35 years sober, married 24 years, and I detransitioned over 30 years ago. Thank the Lord I've been very successful in providing help to many people. I haven't been able to help everybody, but I've been able to help a lot of people. And I'm very grateful for that. And I'm going to continue to speak out. I'm going to continue to work. I'm going to continue to try to help people who have no other place to turn. And so I started a website called sexchangeregret.com. And I work every single day with either a parent, a father, a transgender who has regret like I did. I work with psychologists. I work with college professors. I work with doctors. I work with lawyers. I am working to prevent people from going through this totally unnecessary, insane surgical procedure. And that's why I'm so passionate about trying to raise my voice and give people the opportunity to go, wait a minute, maybe this isn't right for me. And I'm going to continue doing it until the Lord comes and takes me home. And that's my mission is to stop people from unnecessary surgery and stop the advocates from lying to people about them being able to change their gender.