Liza Koshy Best Moments: Hilarious

My friends are coming to visit. Can they, uh, can they come over to your place? Excuse me? What? You asking if they can come to my place? Yeah, why? You acting like it's your place. No, I was wondering. You inviting your friends over? Acting like you own the place? Acting like you pay the bills? You gonna pay the bills this month? No. You paying the bills this month? This month? What month is it? What's month? What month is it? What's month? What month is it? Oh, it's July. July? Yeah. You gonna pay this bill for July? You lying? July. One of the eyes. Where's, uh, where's Liza? Why don't you ask me who I am? I'm just in your girlfriend's house. Do you have parents? Two. Two? Two. Oh, so a mom and a dad? Brother and a sister. What does that even mean? My family loves each other. You want to come help me shoot the outro? Shoot something? No, the outro. I stay strapped, fool. No, it's the video. Yeah. I always put on my seatbelt. You don't even know me. You're my mother. So what? You came out of my vagina. All you know is my puss. What does that mean? That means you're a lesbian. Don't you wave at that man like that. I see the way you look at him with your lesbian eyes. I don't have lesbian eyes. I'm a boy. You like what girls have, right? Yeah. Well, that makes you a lesbian. How many years were you in high school? I was in high school for about four months. Four months? Yeah, I finished it quick because I'm a genius. Your mama's a genius. I was valedictorian. Valedictorian? That's right. Those are three different things? Valedictorian. What's a valet? That's what you get when you're smart. What about a dick? Don't you use that language with me, you lesbian. What do you want me to be when I grow up? I want you to be my future husband. I'm your son. I can't be that. Well, yes, you can. You got to keep it in the family. What do you mean I got to keep it in the family? You got to run the family business. What's the family business? Making babies with mama. Hey, man, what's your name? Are you a surfboarder? I'm a surfboard, bro. You're a surfboard? You've been out here as long as I have. You just become the board. What do you want to know about the ocean? Are there some secrets to it? There's some things you just don't see. Like what? The sea. How'd you get out here as far as I am? I've been floating right here for 13 and a half years. What about sharks? Are there sharks out here? I don't know what sharks are, bro. Sharks, like the little animals that bite you. No, man, those are called sea dogs. Sea dogs? How do you feel about sea dogs? They're cool. I trained them. I know all of them by name. What are their names? Shark. They're all called shark? Yeah, just so it doesn't get too confusing. There's more waves coming, bro. Is that waterproof? No. Oh, then put your technology away and grab a jellyfish instead. This is driving with Liza, or at least sitting in the car with her. Don't touch your mother's breasts this year. I told you to stay away from me, you lesbian. Mom is trying to procreate. I can't have kids with you. I'm your son. Yeah, I know that. That's exactly why you should have kids with me. Don't you think you should find a real husband? Why have a husband when I can make my own? Are you going to play the ball? No, stop putting those in your breath. Don't you touch me like that, you lesbian. What's wrong with your eyes? Oh, I just got my eyes done. Can I offer you a granola bar? No, that's a magnet. Is it a magnet? Yeah. Oh, my God. I ate this earlier. I can't use my eyesight. I use echolocation. Cilantro, avocado, yogurt. You use your echolocation to breathe, right? How many fingers am I holding up? Two. Is that a moth? All right, here we go, Liza. No pressure. Good. Good. Good. No, Liza. No. All right, Liza, seriously, this time just focus on the stroke, okay? No, wrong stroke. Liza, there's one space left on L3. Let's find it. We can do it. We can find it. We can park there for our country, for our nation, for all countries, for America, for United States, for the US, for the USA. Those are all the same thing. There's two now. Never mind. There's one for both of us. I'll go get my coke. I'm sorry, Liza. I didn't know it was that version. Liza thinks she can't make any more jokes. She's freaking out. Don't make me feel self-conscious on it now. Liza, just say something funny. Something funny. No. Yay. No. No? No. I'm going down. Bananas? No, no. I don't even find them appealing anymore. Oh, boy. Oh, God. It feels like I'm going to have to kill off your character in the vlogs. No, David. I'm sorry. Because I can't make puns anymore. Liza, if you can't produce good content, I can't keep you around. So you're going to kill me? Yes. He's going to kill me. No, don't tell people. Why? Because it's bad. Find out on next week's episode of David's Vlogs. No, don't. You want to get some food? Yeah, let's get some McDonald's. What do you want to get for McDonald's? You get the 40-pack of nuggets. 40-pack of nuggets? 40-pack of nuggets, and I'll split it with you this time. You'll split it with me? Yeah, 37-3. 37-3? I think that was my last breath of fresh air that I'll ever have. How does it feel? It feels like amazing. I'm lit. It feels like the highest I've ever been in my life. Guys, Liza's in here right now, so Carlos is going to help me with the outro. Did you hear what happened to your girlfriend last night? What happened? You hear what she made? What'd she make? Loved me. Look how smooth this card's rolling. It's really smooth. I always get the bad ones. I'm so happy I got this one. Look how tiny they are. Yeah, they're pretty small. It's too tiny for a baby body. Will you fit me? I don't know what you're saying. Will you fit me? I don't know what you're saying. Do you know what that means? I'm joyful. No, that's sad. I'm joyful. I'm joyful. I like this pillow. This one? Yeah. I don't really like it. You don't like it? What do you mean you don't like it? Huh? What do you mean you don't like it? Liza, stop. Come on. What do you mean? You're making a scene. What do you mean? Liza, people have cleaned this up. This guy's messing up the music. Hey, David, look. I'm at the police station. Can you take me to the police station, please? Anything else to add, Liza? Do I have anything else to add, David? Yeah. You have something to add to my wallet from your bank account. You need to pay for this month's rent. Try to bring your friends from Bumble Boosie, Wisconsin. I can't take it, Liza. Stop. It ain't Liza no more. It's the landlord, and the law says you need to pay me for this month's rent. Liza. David. David, come here and look at me. Look at me in front of the camera. Okay, yeah. What's up? Look. I'm the Statue of Liberty. No. You're going to put your kids through college? Why would I put my kids in a collage? That's what weird moms do. I don't do that. I don't like scrapbooking. I'm not your ordinary mom. I mean college, like school. They have school for collages? Well, what's the point of having so many kids? So you can start your own company. You want to start your own company? What's the company called? Verizon. What does your company do? Sell lawnmowers. There's already a company called Verizon, and they work with cell phones. But exactly. They don't sell lawnmowers. So I have the world's hottest pepper here, and I'm going to have Carlos try it. You ready? You want to try it? Carlos is a big, tough guy, so I'm assuming this is going to be no problem for him. Carlos, that's not the same pepper. It's a bell pepper. Oh my God, that's so hot. That's not it. Oh, it's so hot. No. Challenge video. Okay, how high can you go? Okay, okay, my turn, my turn. Wow, you look pretty high. Liza, you want to play the word association game? When you say a word, then you associate it with something? That's the one. Amber. She is so weird about names. Chair. Table. Desk. Lamp. Elementary. School. Middle. School. High. Me too. No, what? Huh? School. Huh? Why isn't it opening? So it looks like their door won't open, so let's go sneak in through their window, my window. Through your window? So what do you do for a living? Lock picking. You pick people's locks? Yeah. So you break into people's homes? No, no, no. When they leave, I pick their locks when I go inside. I have the place open and ready for when they come back. Is that how it works? When we go inside, I want you to whisper, all right? Why would I have to whisper? Because I don't know if they're home. Don't scare my furniture. Okay. This is a 40-inch TV. No, those are multiple. Yeah, that's how you change the channels. No, those are multiple stoves. Oh, Nickelodeon. You're already here. You just left so you could film this part. I know. What's going on? Someone went outside and put grass in the pot in my apartment, and it should be outside in larger quantity. No, Liza, this is fake grass. It's just decoration. It's fake? Yeah. Can we just go shoot the outro real quick? No, I don't want to shoot anything. No, it's just the outro. It's just a- No, everything ain't that. You'd probably feel a lot better if you just took out the trash. Take out the trash? No, Liza. Take out the trash? Why'd you get the knife? Taxi! Taxi! Taxi! Oh, thank God you pulled over. I couldn't get a ride. Can I use your phone to call an Uber? Look at his little ear flopping up when you look at him. David, I swear, if you ever kill this bunny- I'm not going to kill the bunny. Okay, but if you do- Okay. I want the fur. You want the fur? Yes. Liza! You scared the shoe off my foot. What's going on, Tyrannosaurus-Tex? How you been breaking it down? Tyrannosaurus-Tex, doing your thing. Breaking it down like no one else. Hit it again. I've been dating Liza for about 11 months now. I've met both of her parents. She's too scared to go and meet my parents. I'm not scared. When they've asked numerous amount of times to meet Liza. Are you scared that my parents won't like you? Yeah. Why? Because they see me in the outros. And that's some good stuff right there. And then they're going to see me. And they're going to say anything else to add Liza. And I'm going to be like, oh. An in-law? An in-law. Jett, and here we have a bunch of different snacks you can choose. Cheez-Its, cereal. No, that one's Advil. You don't want to eat that. Oh, Skittles. They're not Skittles. See, they don't taste anything like Skittles. You want water? Okay, okay, the water. It's fine. It's Advil. It shouldn't burn anyway. But this will definitely help. Jett, that's not how you drink water. My makeup came off. Your what? My makeup. No, Liza. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's definitely your makeup. Your makeup came off. Yeah. Hey, fools. What's up? Y'all want some logs? Come on down over here. I got a log of them. You need some good ones? Si. Okay, what kind you want? Tell me. You want some essay ones? I need some. You want some essay ones? I need some essay logs. Yeah. Anything else to add, Liza? Yeah, no. You hungry? You want me to make you some cereal? Sure. Okay, I'm almost done. All right. I love my cereal. How much milk do you want? I want a little bit more. Can I get extra sauce? Liza, get back in the car. You don't have to order. Extra sauce. Liza, open the door and get in the car. It's going to be your first time driving. What are you doing? Jett, that's not the way to hop inside a car. Grab the wheel to control the car. That's not even a wheel in any way. All right, Jett, as you're driving, make sure you're looking at your surroundings so you're not going to hit anything, okay? That's the most important part. No, Jett, you don't want to do it while you're driving. Put your hands on the wheel. Jett, put your hands on the wheel. The only thing you did well was you put the car in park. You're never going near a car. Jett, you didn't put the car in park. Go put the car in park. That's not how you put the car in park. Anything else to add, Liza? I hate this. You hate what? I hate doing the outro when I look like a little boy without eyebrows. I look sick. You don't look sick. Oh, am I ill? Ill? Am I the illest? Why isn't the outro song playing? Was that not good enough?