HOW TO DEVELOP YOUR AUTHENTIC STYLE (When Everyone Dresses The Same)

It feels like everyone is wearing the same thing. We have this perception of good style. It's chic, yet boring. It's put together, but soulless. I want to talk through today 8 personal style tips that will help us create a more authentic style in the long run. These 8 style tips are all things I wish I knew earlier. And over the years, as I've tried to find my personal style, there's been a few too many trends that have influenced me. There's been a few too many purchases I shouldn't have made. And I want to talk about all of this in today's video and explain how to really cultivate a style that feels authentic. So if it feels like we're all wearing the same thing, we keep on seeing the same inspiration again and again. That's all about the things we can do to try and create this more authentic style. So tip number one. I think one of the major reasons it feels like we're wearing the same thing is because we're shopping at the same places. And if we're not shopping at the same places, the brands out there are making the same things and then slapping their own label on them. So how many times in the summer have I seen this linen vest and trouser combination? If we see something really cool and creative, whether that's a print or a particular silhouette, in a couple of weeks, every brand is making it. And in a couple of months, it almost feels old because now everyone is wearing it. This is probably the most impactful tip I'm sharing with you today, but it's to slow down your wardrobe. When you slow down your wardrobe and it's not all new, it's not all from this season or this year or right now, then you suddenly start to have pieces that not everyone else is wearing. I find that whenever I buy my wardrobe in a season, whenever I buy my winter wardrobe as winter is starting and everything is new, these outfits I create end up feeling a little generic. It's because everything is trendy, everything is current season, and we're all wearing those pieces. I sometimes think back to clothes I had three to five years ago, and a lot of those pieces feel very unique right now. It's because not everyone is wearing them. They're in slightly different styles, different fabrics, different patterns that was of the moment then but not necessarily now. When you mix some of those older pieces with your existing items, then you start creating outfits that feel a little bit more unique. A huge mistake that I've kind of spoken about before as well is in the past I tried to build my wardrobe just way too quickly, and in doing that I also had to let go of things a lot quicker than I needed to because my wardrobe was overflowing. So really I lost a lot of those older pieces I really really loved, and one of them is this sazon blouse. It's a dark floral with this little necktie. It feels so unique now compared to what is out there, and if I could bring in my older pieces with my new, then my wardrobe is more unique and the outfits I create using that wardrobe is going to look a little bit different from everyone else's. My second tip is to start figuring out your style in a way that's deeper than just feminine or minimal or these one-word descriptors of our whole unique style. In the last 10 years over time, I would say my style has made a lot of shifts. However, what I've also discovered is that personal style and the things that you are naturally drawn to doesn't really change. If I look at what I saved on Pinterest five, seven years ago and what I'm saving now, there is a lot of overlap in the things I like. We're naturally drawn to certain things and this is our taste. This is our personal style and this is what we want to develop. I find that when I obsess over things like is my style effortless or is it minimal or is it put together and trying to define my style into words, I start to box my style in and then try to buy a wardrobe that suits that. Whereas when I just let myself be drawn to the things that I'm drawn to, I then create something that feels more unique, more tailored to me. So I guess this tip is don't try to box your style into a look but instead try to understand what you gravitate towards, what you really like and what are the things that stay consistent over time. By looking back at my old photos, my old pins, I found that the more my style looks like it evolves, it also kind of stays the same. Five, maybe seven years ago now, I saved this photo of Leandra Cohen and this bright pop of color handbag is something that has stayed really consistent for my personal style over the years. A pop of red in an outfit is a true staple for me as is these kind of funky yellowy green shades. I always love seeing these in fashion. Patchwork is really having a moment right now, patchwork quilting. And five to seven years ago, I was saving quilted jackets, quilted tops and it's still something I love right now. One of my favorite old outfits is this one where I style red and green and this is a color combination that I feel like can feel a little bit like costumey and festive but it's such a staple in my styling because even now I'm always pairing shades of red, shades of green together. I think style is never about leaving parts of your style behind or trying to like take things that don't fit into this neat box out. It's trying to embrace all of this somehow into something that feels like you. I used to think because I like tailoring then I can't like a Douwen floral dress and because I like the Douwen floral dress, I can't like a fleisha and because I like a fleisha, I can't like this and that and that somehow my style had to be this super cohesive thing that could fit into a description word when actually I think my style is a combination of all of these things together. In a video like this, I also want to talk about something that feels like the opposite. If you want to find authentic personal style, it's also about letting go of the idea that everything has to be different. Everything has to be unique and has to stand out for some reason. So I used to be and I still am obsessed with Leandra Cohen. She has a lot of archival really incredible pieces in her wardrobe and it's such a joy to look at her outfits. So I think it was in this era when I was obsessed with her style that I had a lot of statement pieces in my wardrobe. I love a statement piece but I don't think it's the only way to express style because sometimes I find the most interesting style is when it's very everyday, it's very simple but there are teeny tiny things that you're doing that just makes it your own. It doesn't have to be archival really statement items to be creative or to be unique style or to be personal style. I'll even say that lately I have been drawn to very very simple things in a very neutral color palette that I would say from afar is a lot more boring than what I was wearing a few months ago or a few years ago. Everything is a lot more toned down and I'm repeating things a lot more than I used to and I've started to do like little styling things to make these everyday outfits feel more interesting whereas if I'm just wearing statement pieces oftentimes I just wear them as is because it feels like it's just doing all the work for me. So creativity and personal style I think can take both forms. It doesn't always have to be very bold it can just be creative styling of everyday pieces. It's outfits like this where I'm playing a little with scale so for example you know adding a super thin long scarf to a bulkier outfit or using like a teeny tiny mini bag with some chunkier wardrobe pieces. Little styling things are fun to play with and ultimately just create a look you like. A question we always hear we always ask is do these pieces match or do these shoes match this outfit or does this handbag match the dress or whatever and trying to match things is a double-edged sword because on one hand yes you can have an outfit that just does not work it does not match at all and it's a little chaotic but on the other hand if something is too matched it means that we start getting correct ways of dressing and things when they go so perfectly together can often feel a little flat and underwhelming as well. It's kind of like everything looks like it came off a mannequin or was in a catalog and the colors are perfect and there's nothing that makes us just fall in love with the combination. So if you want to find your style and a style that feels authentic it's finding some middle ground where we are open to mismatched combinations that work. The only way mismatching can really go wrong is when there is no clear vision. It's when things are thrown together in a way that doesn't really feel intentional and we don't know what they were trying to do but if you are trying to achieve something with a particular styling it ends up working out well ends up working out just fine sometimes other times it turns out really really well. As long as there is intention as long as there is like a vision behind it it'll come together. If we start to mismatch things a little we start to create combinations that are unique to us and our own styling that not everyone else is wearing. When we start to do like wrong shoe theory when we start to add in a color that is not exactly the color you would have imagined this outfit with that's when you get really unique looks. So one of my personal favorites is wrong shoe theory. So girly dress going for the shoe that you feel like is not the typical option you would think of. With color sometimes the colors that we match with an item are colors that are in the same family whereas when you add in the accent color that is outside of this color family sometimes it just creates the most striking combination. A lot of time warm tone outfits look really good with silver because the silver almost like clashes with the colors and it pops. If you add gold it kind of matches but it blends in too much. Likewise gold with grays look so good together. It's something about the fact that the gold really pops against the gray. Probably the thing I love most about styling, about fashion is when you do put together these things that shouldn't go together and then it ends up working and you love the outfit and you get that moment where you're just really really excited really happy with how it's come together. I think this is always because of mismatching rather than perfectly matching a look. Tying this back to something I always talk about the first time we wear something it's usually in that really expected combination but if you repeat your outfits a lot by the 20th time you're wearing that you have probably moved on from that and you start to realize how this item is best styled in your wardrobe and by repeating the outfit the combinations get so much better. My next tip to create authentic style style that feels unique is to have your outfits and your style be a true reflection of you and you do this by curating heavily only having things that are practical only having things you 100% love. The thing that inspired this tip is costuming in cinema and I think that when I watch a movie I am always looking at the costuming it doesn't matter if it's ugly or if it's attractive what they're wearing it's about what it's saying about the character and how it evolves from the start of the story to the end and it's such a powerful part of the storytelling experience in cinema. So then with that in mind I often think about how this relates to our wardrobe if we have things that are practical it shows us the kind of lifestyle one lives if you have sporty things mixed in with your nicer pieces it kind of hints to your lifestyle even with accessories things like jewelry when I see like vintage pieces I do wonder whether there is like a story behind it all of these things help to create those more unique more tailored outfits for our everyday so then it's taking possibly even a boring outfit and making it more interesting just because it's saying something about the wearer if something is practical it shows what your lifestyle is and then only having things you love is a part of the storytelling because it shows those little elements of things you're drawn to and I find that really interesting to see in someone's style when it's clear that they love that item they wear all the time and it starts to tell you something about them sometimes on a deeper level something transformative for my style is to learn the techniques use the tools that are already out there this goes from color theory to color analysis it goes from style essences to kiwi body type there's a lot out there and the thing about these systems is that if we follow it completely then it's kind of boring because what they're trying to do is they're trying to fit us into a category to make it easier to look nice but if we're talking about authentic personal style this system is actually also trying to box us in in a way however I have learned so much from these tools color theory color analysis helps me understand why certain colors work and why sometimes certain colors just feel a little bit hard to wear and then what I actually do with this information is that I can then use my styling to manipulate certain colors colors in my palette they just work like that but colors in my worst palette for example maybe I can combine that with like a lip shade that really works or a necklace in a color that looks nice or a scarf to make that color that doesn't look good on me look nicer I've always found color analysis to be one of the things that help me feel more confident in wearing color because now I know how to work with it in my wardrobe and the thing style essences and the kiwi body typing system taught me was that everyone needs different pieces to achieve the same look so if this girl want a classic style and this girl want a classic style and I want a classic style chances are we're gonna need very different pieces to get to that look if we all just wore a white shirt and jeans sometimes it actually doesn't feel as timeless as it could I don't look that timeless in a white shirt and jeans it looks kind of unflattering so then my classic look is going to be styling different pieces the whole point is that if something does not work for you you can now make it work by using what you know to tweak certain details till it works that pastel doesn't work go slightly warmer that neckline doesn't work go slightly lower slightly higher slightly more structured slightly less structured and then you may find that it then looks really good sometimes I'll see two girls wearing almost the same thing and for one person we generally think of it as good style it's stylish it's put together it's good and then for someone else in the comment section or whatever people find it uninspiring and they're wearing very similar things so then it comes down to why the difference in opinion I think having really good style having style that's unique that's authentic comes down to making something work for you whether it's for your body type whether it's for your lifestyle but tailoring something out there so that it suits you in terms of body shape it can literally mean finding a silhouette that works for you finding a piece that is more cropped if you're petite that's going to look better if you're taller finding the right length finding the right drape that is going to give you the most elegant look two blazers the same color they can look incredibly different with different material and these little nuances is what makes something either chic or kind of uninspiring the fabric the details they play a huge role it's not always just about you know flattering I know that's a word a lot of people hate it's also about tailoring it to the details of what you like I often see two people wearing almost the same thing very different reactions and most of the time it comes down to whether they've taken the time the effort the energy to look for the piece that genuinely suits them it's not a science it ultimately comes down to what you like that determines whether it's correct final thing to wrap up this video for your personal style and to create something authentic you want to develop signature things in your style that stay with you as your style changes as you have evolutions in your style I'm thinking of things like hair and makeup and fragrance jewelry outerwear there are certain pieces in our wardrobe that we build on that stay with us for a really long time and what these things do is that they make anything new in our wardrobe feel grounded you're not going to get that feeling which I used to get all the time where I'm wearing a few new pieces and I feel very trendy or I feel not like myself and these outfits are usually my worst they often feel generic or they feel kind of mismatched in the bad way whereas if you have these signature items to always ground your look then you never have bad outfit days even if you add something a bit trendier to your wardrobe it still feels grounded in your signature style I think there is something very charming about consistencies in style whether that is like hair and makeup whether that is fragrance whether that is jewelry accessories when you see something being styled all the time it kind of creates a continuity that feels authentic it feels like someone has taste when they know exactly what they like and they stick to it in certain parts of their wardrobe and then of course you can experiment by bringing fresh things in to play with but you want to have that grounding so that it feels like you have a signature style and you have strong personal style that carries through even when you do go through changes in your taste you've got something to ground it sometimes it's not even specific things sometimes it's ways of styling things that has remained very consistent in my style that it almost does become a signature thank you so much for watching this video I hope you enjoyed it let me know what you thought do you feel like we're all dressing the same? let me know in the comments thank you so much for watching I will see you next time