The Fainting Couch - SNL

We now return to Lansdowne House. Amelia! Kenneth! Christian! What a marvellous surprise! My brother in the flesh! Why are you here? Shouldn't you be away in Cornwall? Um, I've left Cornwall. I have something I must tell you. Well, let us hear it over tea. Henry! Fetch the tea, please. Yes, Mum. You see, the Great War has come to England and all of us must fight. No! I felt duty bound to do my bit. No! Christian, no! It's happening! You know your sister has her spells. Amelia, to the fainting couch! So, I've made a decision. I'm off to war. No! Look what you've done! Oh, heaven! She's missed the couch. Henry! Fetch the elixirs. Yes, sir. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. It seems I've had a tiny spell. More than a tiny one, my dear. You had a fright! Oh, I'm perfectly fine. Oh, Christian, it's you! Well, I just had the most frightful dream that you were going to war. That was no dream, Amelia. It's true. I'm joining the 11th Hussars. I'll be on the front lines. The front lines! Oh, no! It's happening! No, Amelia, please! To the couch, my love! Come this way! I'm sorry, but she must hear the truth that I shall leave Cornwall to seek glory on the battlefield. The elixirs, ma'am. She's missed the couch again. Again? How? Well, we need to steady her nerves. Henry, don't just stand there! Bring the sherry. As many glasses as you can carry. Of course, sir. And don't worry, sir. I'm fine. Oh, heavens, I've had a spell! Don't concern yourself, my dear. It's his fault for telling us like this. Go! Christian, there you are! You can still change your mind. Go back to Cornwall. Forget all this war madness. No, Amelia. The die is cast. You see, I've already enlisted. What? This way, my old rat. She went the other way. She is putting on quite a show, isn't she? I'll tell you, she could die. It must run its course. Steady, girl. Steady, girl. Steady. She just stepped and rolled right over the couch. Your sherry, ma'am. Oh, thank you, Henry. Yes, I'm fine. Splendid. Let's reinvigorate your constitution. Henry, bring us a tureen of Saxburg soup. Piping hot. Piping hot soup. Yes, sir. Now, my dear, are you all right? Yes, I'm perfectly fine. I just seem to have a tiny cut on my hand. Is that blood? To the couch. Soup is ready, sir. Oh, no. No, please, sir. I'm terribly sorry. Look, fits run in both our families, you see. Ever since we had a tiny bout of inbreeding for the past 500 years. Ah, so these spells could happen to me? I could have them? Perhaps I should not go to war, then. Oh, yes, marvellous. This calls for a celebration, Henry. Bring out the champagne and our priceless Fabergé eggs. Yes, sir. Fabergé eggs. I like mine. Fabergé eggs.