How Korean Men and Women Start a Relationship 💓 • Didi's Korean Podcast

Hello and welcome to Didi's Korean language podcast Today is Monday July 17 2023 Did you have a good week last week Last weekend there was an extremely heavy rainfall in Korea causing significant damage and as a result numerous accidents occurred I couldn't help feeling sorry about it It's still raining outside I hope all of you listening to this podcast are safely and comfortably enjoying it Today I'd like to talk about dating in Korea Dating conversations are always fun Even in awkward situations talking about romance like this you often feel that just a little while goes by and you're suddenly much closer I felt like getting a little closer to all of you today so I thought I'd introduce you to romance in Korea Of course there are truly all kinds of people in the world and I think the way people date can be incredibly diverse That's why not everything I say is necessarily correct— please also keep in mind that there are certainly exceptions I think you'd enjoy listening to the podcast Still I've lived in Korea for over twenty years straight I'd like to share my thoughts based on everything I've observed and experienced so far Among those I particularly want to talk about my dating experiences with people over 30 Since we haven't fully explored or experienced it yet maybe we should talk about love stories from our teens and twenties I tried to wrap this up in one episode but love stories always seem to have too much to talk about I'd like to explain in greater detail so I'll divide this up according to the stages of romance I've been thinking about creating an episode So for now today I'd like to explore one of the dating customs in Korea Let's start by discussing relationships How do Korean women and Korean men typically meet Let's get started right away Just where are Koreans actually finding lovers and how are they meeting boyfriends and girlfriends I've heard that in places like Europe or the West people throw parties all the time But throughout my life I've only attended a birthday party for a close friend I've never been to a party before so I don't really get many chances to meet unfamiliar people But when I was in school at least there were always peers around whether I liked them or not That's why it seems like there are slightly more opportunities to meet people but as time goes on graduating from university and now entering the workforce The more busy I get the fewer chances I have to meet people Not even a boyfriend just no opportunity to meet anyone at all We were already acquainted or perhaps close friends to begin with the more we saw each other the more feelings grew and we ended up becoming a couple Things like that can happen anywhere can't they Not only that but I don't have any close friends or acquaintances around me either Where can Koreans meet their romantic partners in such situations I'll outline three ways relationships unfold in Korea I was going to say but it all ended up with a "ting" anyway Dating meetings hunting Koreans seem to frequently introduce people to one another among those they already know For example I have one really great girl among my friends One of my coworkers at my part -time job is a really nice guy They seem like such a perfect match so that's why we're bringing them together In Korea this is called a blind date It's a blend of "introduce" and "meeting " The act of meeting someone through such mutual introductions is called an introduction date In everyday conversation you might say "Want to go on a date " but you could also say "Want to go on a girl's date " or "Want to go on a guy's date " "Yeosobadeul" is short for "yejosaebadeul " meaning "I want a female matchmaker " Namsoso is short for "looking for a male match " right Especially teenagers hardly ever use the term "introduction date " Most people just talk about it casually like from girl to boy or boy to girl It's the term "introduction date" itself that It seems to have first been used among people in their 20s That's why it gives off a slightly more serious and mature vibe Teenagers are often introduced more casually—were they given a boy's name or a girl's name That's how people talk about it A blind date refers to a one-on-one introduction whereas this is someone who in any case facilitates the introduction It's about carefully picking out one good person at a time and introducing them like that It seems the one with the highest success rate is that Besides blind dates another common thing people do is meetings The meeting is just the English word "meeting" as it is The blind date was the one-on-one meeting we had earlier wasn't it A meeting refers to gatherings where people play in pairs trios or quartets such as 2-on-2 3-on-3 or 4-on-4 Two-on-two meetings seem hard to come by so they consider meeting with at least three people a proper meetup So how do men and women end up like this Could we possibly meet up in groups You might be wondering about that Let me explain the situation that led to this meeting This type of meeting usually happens quite often during college years I'm a sophomore in college I have a lot of friends I know many seniors and many juniors In college there are departments you know Not just my own department but others as well I have a lot of friends but this time I gained a new freshman nursing student junior at the university But what about the nursing program Nursing is mostly female students after all That's why this junior told me this: Senior I thought I'd get a boyfriend right after getting into college There are only women around me How do you say things like "Where did you meet that guy " But just hearing and seeing it one of the seniors I know There's a male senior in the physical education department who a few days ago told me "I've really been out of dating for way too long " I'm so lonely There are only men around me and it's been ages since I've seen a woman I really want to have a girlfriend That’s exactly what I suddenly remembered saying Hmm Nursing bring three friends along Physical Education bring three friends along Meet me here at the store tomorrow at 7 a m I'll set up the meeting That's how it works That's how it continues Especially during meetings between majors—like Nursing Physical Education and so on We call connecting people through shared interests "goting " Sorry my native vocabulary is overwhelming Anyway we've gathered four people like this People usually meet at bars when doing this kind of matchmaking because it feels awkward While drinking together and loosening the mood we just had fun playing drinking games like this If a few men and women catch your eye you end up forming one or two couples maybe a few more It's possible no one will end up as a couple From my perspective it seems like almost none of them work out I don't know why exactly Online dating or meetups don't seem to have a very high success rate Why might that be I think I need to think about this a bit more But for this meeting to work the balance between both teams needs to be roughly equal One team is not only good-looking but also highly capable and entertaining in conversation Another team isn't particularly attractive in appearance lacks much ability and is very quiet to the point of being unremarkable It's a mess Also the balance is okay but both sides are too quiet It feels too awkward You'll be able to have the experience of just drinking and coming home I've only ever done a cram session once in my life back in college and that was the one and only cram session I've ever had It was just a drinking session with no real connection Besides dating and meetings another common thing people do is hunting Hunting means chasing after someone When I find someone I want I take them In the hunt Not doing anything extraordinary They usually just ask for the number Hunting refers to asking for someone's number from a complete stranger you've never met before When actually talking with friends I'd ask for their number or snatch it or get it somehow They talk like this quite often Got the number That expression is slang so it's not exactly a refined way of speaking but it's not particularly favorable either Honestly when talking with friends I almost always end up with the number We talk like this a lot I got your number on the way here We talk like this all the time I was the one who got hunted I would never talk like that Where does this hunt take place Usually on public transportation Or it seems to happen quite often on the streets Even if it's not a place like that such incidents certainly happen in bars and in quieter spaces like libraries people also pass notes I'm interested in that There's also a scavenger hunt held at the library where you're subtly given clues This kind of scavenger hunt is somewhat common in other countries I've heard it's used in a negative sense but in Korea it's not quite that negative In my circle it's just used casually Some friends even ended up as a couple after a stranger asked for their number Cases where people instantly fall for each other ask for a number exchange contact info and become a couple are quite common In Korea this kind of hunting happens frequently which is why hunting bars have even emerged A pocha refers to a type of bar specifically one where hunting for casual encounters is freely allowed Thinking about why such places came into existence It feels like this bar was specifically created to be a place where hunting happens freely especially since it's so rampant here This hunting bar isn't all that different from any other regular bar People keep asking for my number all the time That's why I get rejected so often It's just a matter of numbers really So it won't be awkward the music is really loud the lighting is dim like a club and it's hard to see anything besides the space I'm in That's how it is Personally I don't particularly like alcohol and meeting someone while drinking alcohol I didn't particularly like that kind of thing so I went to a hunting bar just out of curiosity nothing more No big success no major收获—nothing like that And in Korea you have dating apps right Like the kind of app Kinder is It doesn't seem to be very popular right now Or maybe everyone's using it but just not talking about it I haven't really heard it mentioned much around me so it doesn't seem like a popular trend There might be other methods besides the three I've introduced today but as far as I know they generally fall into three categories: hunting meeting and blind dating It seems it will turn out this way Yes today we started by discussing dating in Korea specifically focusing on meetings I've never dated someone from another country before I don't really know if what I 'm sharing today seems unusual or fascinating to you So today I'm reaching out to you If you found anything I said amusing or thought some of it was oddly intriguing I'd really appreciate it if you could share many comments The next episode explores dating actual dating duration Let's talk about what you're like when you're in a relationship Thanks for tuning in—stay tuned for the next episode Thank you so much for listening to and supporting Didi's Korean podcast today I'll be back for the next episode Have a wonderful day and a great night everyone Goodbye