＂No such thing as ready＂ ｜ What to Expect When You're Expecting ｜ CLIP

Alright, that's perfect. See the bump? Great, you're right. Can we hurry this up? He's pushing on my bladder. Great. Alright, we got it. Okay, but did you get my rack? Yeah. Because I'm going to need evidence that I have these. We got it. You got it? Okay. Yeah, that's great. Thanks, Trish. This is great. Thank you. We are so excited to have you as our spring cover mom. Me too. Listen, can we just try to keep it positive? You know, there's a lot of articles out there that make women over 35 go pregnant with Michael. Great. And I just don't want this to be- No, it's going to be so- Sorry, I got to take this. Oh. Hey, you. Did you watch it? That circumcision video you sent me? Yeah, give me a little heads up next time. I was eating lunch, now I'm scarred for life. Yeah, gross. Nobody needs to see how the sausage gets made. Megan. I'm not going to let somebody hurt my baby like that. Jules, trust me, he's not even going to remember it. It's not even medically necessary. Besides, it actually makes the penis less sensitive. That's why you do it. Give the kid some endurance, a fighting chance. He's perfect as he is. I don't get the point. What is it? Um, because I'm Jewish. Uh, half Jewish? Christmas tree Jewish? That's what you said? But my penis is full Jew. This is my jurisdiction. Okay, so I have no say in what happens to my son. Besides, if you had your foreskin, maybe I would like you a little bit more. How much more? A tip more. I would feel shafted if we didn't do it. Can we discuss this weirdness later? I'm working. Okay. I love you, Pa. I love you, too. Well, if it's any consolation, I like an uncut guy. Yeah, I want to bang my way straight across Eastern Europe. It's fun. I don't know, man. Just out of the blue, I got this call and suddenly... Gun! We got this baby. That's right, you got a baby. It's not good. They said it was going to be at least a year. Or more. All right? And that's the one thing you can count on with adoption, right? Time. Woo, woo, woo. I need that time to save, to get ready. There's no such thing as ready. You just jump on a moving train and try not to die. Great. What's up, man? Terrified? Because you should be. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to get to the hospital room, right? She's going to be laying there with her legs splayed wide open. My woman gave birth doggy style. They can do that, you know. And then out's going to slide a little miracle. Half you, half her, your DNA all mixed together in one magical baby cocktail. The best day of your life. That's sweet, but Alex here's adopted. Oh. Yeah, do it that way. No fuss, no muss. Come on, Jordan! What if he hates me? He will. I mean, what if he tries to kill me in my sleep when he's 15? Well, then I guess you're not a very good father. That's normal. It's like every Greek tragedy. Come on, guys. I'm serious, okay? I need help. Dude, you're going to be fine. You just got to get over your fear of babies. They can smell fear, like bears or wives. You need some practice. Here, hold Henry for a second. No, no, no, no, no. Do not touch his baby. Shut up. That kid's a grenade and he will go off. You know what? Start with Evander here. She never cries. Oh, no. I'm cool, Vic. She fell off the changing table last week. Didn't make a sound. You dropped your kid off a changing table? How is that even possible? It's very possible. It's much more common than you think, but you know what? Rule number two, we don't judge. No judging. Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette. I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday. I picked up the wrong baby from daycare. Found my baby swimming in the toilet. And for the record, the roll-off did not happen on my watch. Ooh, dodged a bullet. No judging. Come on. No, really, that's okay. Come on. That's all right. Come on, hang on. Good catch. Take her back. I hope that adoption agency has a return policy. Big help, guys. Glad I came up.