Magnus Carlsen Played the Bird's Opening (1. f4) Just to Troll a 2600 FM

Wow. Okay, let's honor the bird by playing the bird. Let's see what he does. c5, huh? Let's play e3. b5. We're getting a Nimzo-Indian type of position, but with the extra move f4. Now I can choose to take this. It is a somewhat double-edged choice by my opponent. Okay, let's go 95 first. Very simple chess. I'm thinking since my opponent is evidently a wunderkind, then I should try and play according to fairly simple principles. Since that's what you're taught to do against kids. Keep it simple, avoid tactics. If that's the idea, then b4, b3. I'm terrible at drawing arrows, though. That we can already conclude. That's why I think I mouse-slip a ton as well. No pun intended. Hmm. Could also have gone here. I didn't really think that. Yeah, next, probably this. Castles. We're doing good. Okay, well, I'm going to do this anyways, don't I? So, might as well have done it already. But I probably saved myself a few seconds in a blitz game, which you should not sneeze at. This is possible. And d3, bishop b5, knight c3. Reconnecting? Really? My stream is fine though, isn't it? That would have been vexing to lose on time. Because of some stupid-ass connection issue. What should we do here? Queen g4 seems reasonable. I do trade off a few pieces, but the resulting position should be pleasant. Here, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then this is hanging at the end. Hopefully we'll get good knight here against the bad bishop on c8. Okay, looks like we're headed that way. Oh, fe5 as well. Trying to tempt him into making this move, which I don't think is very good. And we take it. d4 Fine, I'll go queen g3. So that is not... That is not a straightforward solution for black, I think. I'm not quite sure about it, to be fair. It's queen e7 now. I'm going to trade. Queen takes e5. A few, rook e8. It's not so easy. It's not so easy for me to prove anything. Well, maybe this is possible too. Yeah, this wasn't super impressive, was it? Oh well, I'm still better. Here, maybe I go rook e8. Ah, there's bishop g4. Nope, don't have a ton. Obviously, cannot take the knight, because of checkmate. I've got to say, he's done very well. To end up in a situation where he's very slightly worse. But realistically, not much at all. That move, I don't particularly like. Maybe it's not a big deal. Knight c5. King f7, rook d1, bishop f5. Should be alright, maybe I should go here then? Yeah, rook e1 was the idea. Just trying to make it a little bit difficult for him to activate his pieces. If he goes a5 or a4, maybe this is a weakness. Ooh, not sure about that. Hmm, I'm going to try and set a little trap. Let's see what he does. Well, he kind of somehow falls into it. I think it's over here. No, this is the idea. Takes here, and this pawn drops. That should be... I'm saying it should be, but it probably isn't. Is there really nothing here? a4, bishop here. Now he might have knight to b6, king e7, a5. Here. a5, bishop b3, doesn't give anything. I think he is just about not in time. Ke8, yeah, knight d6. Here. So I'm going to try this. e7. I'm not sure this position is objectively winning, but... He's running out of time. Can I trade? He can trade. h4. He likes that move. Okay.