How I started over at 36 Step by Step Guide

You know that feeling when you've outgrown a version of yourself, but people still see you as that old identity. It's like you've already evolved on the inside, but the world hasn't caught up yet. And the hardest part is actually presenting that new version inside to others because it feels uncomfortable and you're filled with a lot of imposter syndrome. That's exactly how I felt for years. I knew I changed from the inside, but I didn't feel ready or accomplished enough on the outside to show up as this new version publicly. For those of you who know, I've been teaching English for the past 15 years and as a multi-passionate person, that's something I've always done alongside my other interests, whether it was studying, exploring business ideas and diving into neuroscience and personal growth. So when people saw me as only an English teacher, deep down, there was a disconnect because I knew I was more than that and I felt like that I had already outgrown that identity. When there's this disconnect between your inner world and the outer world, you feel stuck in this limbo phase. And one of the things you need to learn for reinventing yourself is how to get past this phase. This year I turned 36 and I decided that's enough. I'm done waiting to feel ready. I'm choosing to reinvent myself to fully embody the next version of who I am. That's actually one of the main reasons that I started this channel. If you're feeling that same pull to start over, here's what's been helping me to reinvent myself and I hope it helps you too. Here's the truth. You can crave change with every fiber of your being and still sabotage it. Not because you're weak, because your brain is wired to protect what's familiar. Even if you've outgrown that old life, your brain still sees that identity as safe and real change doesn't start with habits. It starts with identity. Every thought, belief and story you repeat wires your brain to reinforce that version of yourself. So if you keep saying the same things, like I'm not good enough, I'm not good with money or whatever that is, your brain accepts that as your truth by repetition and your behaviors follow. So your internal dialogue truly matters. It's how you essentially train your brain to see you in a certain way. And this inner dialogue comes directly from the story you tell yourself about your past and who you are because of it. For example, if you tell yourself I was bullied as a child and because of that I can't speak up for myself, you're painting a future where you remain limited and the victim. But if you reframe that story to, I was bullied as a child and because of that I learned to be stronger and more empathetic. You create a completely different empowering vision of your future. And that's the beautiful thing about your brain. It is designed for neuroplasticity. It can rewire itself. You can literally train your mind to support the person you're becoming. And that's exactly how I started reinventing myself. But one of the things that makes this process difficult is the fact that whenever I wanted to change on the inside, it felt like there was a resistance from the outer world. So I decided to change small things in my physical world so that it can reflect the inner world. One thing that I did was meeting new people. I use the app called Bumble for both friendships and business connections. And I tried to connect with people who didn't know the old me, people who were interested in what I cared about, which was personal growth, business coaching, and neuroscience. Some of my old friendships naturally faded away. And at first it was very painful, but I realized it's part of the process. I needed space for new connections, new experiences and a new identity to grow. I truly believe that some people come into our lives for a season and not everyone is meant to stay with us forever. And that's okay. Intentionally changing my external world a little helped me feel like a new chapter was beginning and it reduced the resistance I felt from the outside. And this created some space for me to be able to go deeper for true transformation. One of my most important tools has always been journaling. For me, journaling isn't just writing down my thoughts. It's a way to organize my mind, process my emotions and see myself more clearly. Journaling helped me notice how much emotional baggage I was still carrying from my childhood. And I wasn't even aware of them. All beliefs, fears, and memories that kept me seeing myself as the victim instead of the creator of my life. Reinvention isn't just about creating new habits. It's about letting go of the old identity to create some space for the new one. And as I identified those limiting beliefs and or patterns through journaling, I got help from my coach. I began reframing those old stories, turning those pains into power. And the best way to do that for yourself is to ask better questions instead of asking, why did it happen to me? I started asking what did that experience teach me? How did it make me stronger? And I started rewriting my story consciously. That shift from victim mindset to victor mindset changed everything. Once you see your past differently and stop being defined by it, you take control of your life and become the creator of it. And that's what true reinvention is all about. Embodying a different version of yourself. Now that we talked about the physical, mental, and emotional reinvention, there's one piece missing. Doing these practices helped me to get physically, mentally and emotionally to the right place. And I felt like I was closer to the next version of myself. But I realized that my body was still in the survival mode. Even if I appeared calm to others from the outside, my nervous system was functioning in a fight or flight mode. So it was trying to protect me from the threat that no longer existed because this change felt like a threat to it. If you want to change your life, you need to learn how to work with your nervous system. And how do I know that? There was a period in my life where I would finally get close to what I wanted. My body reacted or something just happened. For example, I would get sick a lot or I start to feel burned out. And in a way I would stop myself or self sabotage. And because of that, I couldn't achieve that goal. What helped me the most was when I got familiar with a holistic approach, I realized that I needed to be a bit patient with myself and take change a bit slower. I created a new morning routine to make my mind more familiar with the holistic success I wanted to create. That small change and patience helps your nervous system to adapt little by little. So creating some space in your schedule to connect with that next version of yourself can help you a lot. Practices that can help regulate your nervous system. For example, doing breath work, mental rehearsal or even creating a vision board. These all can help your nervous system to get used to the new identity. And there's neuroscience to support this. When you visualize with emotion, your brain can tell the difference between imagination and reality. Your neurons activate and form patterns in your brain similar to actually when you do the activity. You're literally teaching your brain and body to feel familiar with your future before it arrives. And your nervous system starts to feel safe with this new change. Working with your nervous system to adopt the new identity is an important part of the journey, but that's a topic for another video. So as you can see, change needs to happen on different layers physically, mentally, emotionally, and even on your energy level. And that's all for today's video. I hope you found this video helpful on your reinvention journey. If you did make sure to like and subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. I'd love to hear from you. Thank you so much for watching and see you in the next video.