sabrina carpenter being unhinged for 12 minutes straight

Who is Sabrina Carpenter? Me. I would have done something really crazy for the second one, but I don't think I can say it again. Go on. No, no, no, no. I had a hot date, and then I would say like... See? Later I'm going to get... Later I'm going to get my pussy flexed. Eight. Oh my god, eight, Amelia. We can't say... Just hot cheetos. Oh my god! Oh my god, it's really... I went to animal communication school. Trust me, we're like type. That's that Mi Espresso. I think you're going to be a big, big star. I think you are too, Dan. No. I see big things for you. People think I'm really short, but I'm actually super tall. Actually, I thought that when you came in, you were like 6'1". I'm like 6'1". 6'1", yeah. I think you're the perfect type. 6'1". He told me I can curse backstage. And I forgot, because usually people are telling me not to curse. And so I came out here, and it looks like a church a little bit in here. It really does, doesn't it? So I was like, don't curse the lords upon us. If I see Khalil Murphy, I'm probably going to leave the party. I'm probably just going to leave with him. I'm not going to leave with him. I'm just going to leave at the same time as him so I can see where he lives. So I can like follow his car. Hey, it's Sabrina Carpenter. Why do I... Hey. Because what do I do with my hands otherwise? Hey, guys. It's Sabrina Carpenter. Oh. Hey. Meow. Purr. Hiss. This is me after one shot of tequila. This is me after two shots of tequila. This is me after three shots of tequila. This is me after a lot of... Hey, guys. This is me. This is actually who I am. But after 11 shots of something that I don't actually know what the specific name for it is. And I would just like to say hello and thank you for joining. And I hope you have a great night. Thank you. God bless. You revealed on TikTok that you did 11 shots of tequila. Would you say that's too many shots? Well, I can tell you what I did lie about. It was not 11. I was just drunk. I don't remember how many I took. Hey, Matt. Hey. Hey, Matt. Came all this way. Had to explain direct from Reynaldo. Matthew's my guy. Said he's not bi, but we did hook up, though. I would have been really pissed if I left and I didn't almost cry or want to, like, jump off a cliff. I really want to jump off of a high cliff into water because I've never done that. Why, Sabrina Carpenter? Genius. You tell me. I ask myself every day. No, I'm kidding. Did someone actually look that up? Are you sure? They're bored. It was a Wednesday. Skiddily dee dat dum. She's a lyricist, isn't she? When I say blah blah blee, that is peak lyricism. I'm trying to behave today and that ruins it. Is this one, like, spicy? Are you a flirt? Do you think I am? Yeah. Why? You just literally did the most flirty thing ever. Me? What is this? Is that a sandwich? Oh, no. You took that again? Yeah, I don't know if that's helpful to anyone, but this is how my makeup looks. I just finished crying quite a bit. Food was average, but the company was great. Four plus four, me and Amelia ate. It's still there. Oh, my God. Life is about balance. And what else could you be? I lost my balance. I moved into a new house, so I love baths now. What's your address? I'm on SNL and you're not. New York City, triceps. What is my birthday? So I don't have to say it out loud. I can do whatever the **** I want because it's my birthday. It's called short and sweet. Notice I didn't call it short and spicy because I like sweet things better. When life gives you lemons, Lady Gaga makes you dress out of them. The reason why I'm not using makeup wipes is because, really honestly, we don't do that anymore. I'm going on tour. Aren't I supposed to, like, try one and then you put more sauce on it? Or is that a... No, that's hot ones. Oh, ****. Sorry. Who did Sabrina Carpenter play in Harry Potter? Great question. I was Ron. So it was a great experience and I, like, grew up on that set. Emma and Daniel. This is Fat Cat Meow's Revenge. I love cats. You see that intimidation in his eyes? I'm deep. I'm so deep. Oh, my God. So, tell me, how did you get into the Carpenter family, Bobo? Somewhere in the world there's a father and a mother and a father and a son and there's a brother and a mother and there's a daughter and there's a man and there's a mother and there's a mother and there's a son. Multiply, multiply, multiply. That's literally the first verse. People are always scared to give me caffeine. I don't know why. Those little espresso things taste cute and I like them. So I was 15 drinking espresso, which says a lot about my parents or me. I don't know. Fans yesterday trying to get me to say pussy-o was so wild. They were like, just say it. Just say it. It's just pussy with an O. I was like, okay, then why am I saying it? Oh, burn it. Burn it, burn it, burn it, burn it. Turn it off, burn it. Where's my dog? I'm all alone. I'm so scared to be here on my own. You're a superstar. Dan. I'm blushing. Look at that. You do realize after this I'm going to do a hard wipe of all these videos on the internet? No one's going to be able to find them. I know a guy. I'm always like, please? And you're like, don't worry. We'll edit it out. We've got your back. You don't. You're not. You're going to keep all of this. Oh, my God. It's still. Wow. That one's so exciting. Oh, my gosh. Like little tiny like Brina ballerina vibe. Serena Carpenter dye her eyebrows? Oh, that's crazy. Someone look that up. Because they were like, they're too dark. I don't. Yeah, actually, milk tastes so bad. Bro. No. Really bad. This is the worst tasting thing I've ever drank. Do we do a chugging contest? Sure. I win? You. So terrifying. Yeah. How fast you drank that? You're an icon. You're a legend. And you are the moment. Love to play a game of pool. Hi, what's your sign say? It says threesome? What? Oh, my gosh. Sorry. I wouldn't classify myself as a rapper. I'm not coming for anyone's careers. Because you've hung out with. You've been on a date. You just don't know it yet. I thought it would be really fun to innocently kill men. I want a driver named Adam so he can be Adam Driver. Has anyone ever projectile in front of you? Never in front of me. Believe it or not. Why, do you think you might? No, no. I just want to make sure that I'm setting a standard. Yeah. I'd rather people be like, was that you on Love Island vibes? Is there any question you're going to dodge in this interview? Absolutely. Which question? Probably the ones that I don't want to answer. Having bangs is like raising a child. I don't actually know because I've never raised a child. They're probably sweet. That's that me espresso. Well, saying it out loud just sounds stupid, guys. Like when I sing it, it's cool. I'm fine. I'm a little drunk, guys. I'm a little tipsy. It's my tongue. Yeah. Right. My Harry Potter wand on display. Just in case I need to cast some spells real fast. Be careful. Unfortunately, they're natural. Yeah. This was the way, you know, man upstairs was like, this was good. Thank you, everybody. I want to bring you everywhere. What's that say? I slept with your mom. Oh, sorry. Please, please, please play espresso. Please don't make this a trend because then I have to promote a song that I recorded when I was 14. Please. You don't understand your power. Please. Just pick a new song. Thank you. Does the person who you wrote Almost Love About know that it's about them? She hasn't told me yet. I haven't. He doesn't know. Think you're a little young to be drinking coffee? I'm from New York, asshole. Keeping this in my mother's breast milk. And here's this bald guy winding it up with a context-heavy question that he's going to land about 30 seconds late. Do you have any favorite songs on here? No. You don't. I was six years old and I wore it in my school talent show and I liked it because it was a crop top and I felt edgy at six. I'm going to start lying now. Just because I want to test it. I want to feel something. Okay, my lips are actually like, are they bigger? That's plump. Pop one's plump. Pop hit, pop quiz. Actually, now that I'm realizing it, it bothers me that I say pop twice. I'm going to change the song. I think I'm going to unrelease it and try one more time. Can I sing for you? Go. No, we've been here before. No, no, no. Period. She's the voice of Bart Simpson. Don't know if you've ever heard of him. Guys, I'm not going to lie. It's not looking good for us. And then the other one was when I turn him on, that dick is doubling. Have I lied yet? Not yet. Lit. So what shampoo do you use? Why do you need to know? Part of the spectacle. What would I like to drink? Um, let's do this one. I have to stand on my tiptoes because I can't reach my sink. Fun fact. I have not slid into anyone's DMs. I just want to let you know that. I know. You didn't even ask me that question. I just gave you a free one. What the f***? Yo. Holy. No. Oh, my God. Yeah, I forgot that one on purpose, I think. I can tell by your personality that mommy didn't give you enough attention. Or you possibly stayed on the nipple a year or two too long. Do you do this to yourself willingly? Has anyone ever sued you? Why? You getting an idea or something? No, I'm just- You signed a waiver. That's ironclad, alright, Sabrina? Oh, my God. Who did Sabrina Carpenter play in Harry Potter? Great question. I was wrong.