FAN CONTEST! I WANT TO DATE YOUR MOM!

Hi, I'm Jason Nash, and I play the desperate failed actor, Jason Nash, in David Dobrik's vlogs. I'm also a desperate failed actor in real life. That's why I'm so good at the part. 2017 is upon us, and I realized I don't have anyone special to spend it with. That's why I want to date your mom. That's right, I want to date your mom. Over the next six months, I will be running an elimination-style reality show where I date a bunch of your moms. You'll see me meet them, take them on dates, and romance them. I will eliminate them week by week, where ultimately we will find them crying in the back of a limousine. Ha! Public embarrassment. It's great for views. I'll be selecting our finalists through an app called Twitter. Simply tweet me a picture of your hot bodacious mom to at Jason Nash. Is this a bold-faced attempt to get more followers on my Twitter account? Why, yes it is. Now, your mom may look like this, or like this, or maybe like this. No worries, I am not discerning in any way, as long as she's got a warm bed for me to sleep in and a full pantry. Now, some of you may be saying, Jason, what's so great about you? Well, I'm definitely on the way up. Recently, I was accepted into a government-subsidized men's hotel full of ex-drug addicts and amputees. It does get a little loud in there, but boy, do we clean up when we're begging for spare change. And let's face it, chances are your mom's over 40 and lowered her standards considerably. Right now, she'd take anything with a pulse. It's hard to find a good man these days, and any man over 40 who hasn't been married is going to be a real weirdo. Luckily, I've been divorced three times and own a ton of child support. You also may be asking, Jason, what if my mom is a total bitch? Well, no problem there. I have barely any sense of self and love being told what to do. Or you may be thinking, gee, my mom's married. Is she still qualified for the contest? I want to say, I would never, ever do anything to jeopardize your parents' relationship. Marriage is one of the most sacred things to me in the world. Now, that being said, if your mom's got big bazooms, tweet the picture on over, and she will be considered. Anyway, that's it. All you've got to do is tweet me a picture of your mom to AtJasonNash. And who knows? Maybe I could be your stepdad and buy you and your friends a shitload of beer.