Relationship Advice That Will Save Years Of Your Life

If you are tired of wasting your time, or you feel like you're not getting the best results when it comes to relationships and all of that, I got you. I got you. I'ma get you the sauce for free. Free of charge, you know what I'm saying? All you gotta do is give me a few of your minutes and listen. Okay? I need you to understand, first and foremost, that in life, when you want something, you have to become it. You have to prepare yourself for the things that you want to receive. So many people want things, but not everybody gets them because so many people don't do what's necessary for the amount of time that's necessary to get what they want. People tell you, I want a house, and I want a car, and I want a ranch. But you're not doing nothing for it. You want a million dollars worth of results, but you're giving me ten cents worth of effort. Nothing is going to come from that. So if you want a relationship, ask yourself, do you have a relationship with yourself? You want somebody who's ambitious. Are you ambitious? You want somebody to talk to you, but you don't talk to yourself. You want somebody to be interested in you. You're not interested in yourself. You want somebody to invest in you, but you don't invest in yourself. You want somebody to care about you, but you don't care about yourself. You have to put yourself in these situations and these conversations to draw the real out of you, to understand that you attract what you are. If you feel like you're going through the same thing over and over and over, analyze it. I keep running these people away. These people keep running away from me. They say I'm too clingy and I'm too pushy. Analyze these situations that you're in so you can understand, so you can attract what you want. You understand what I'm saying? Become what you want so you can attract who you are. It's a simple formula. Older than all of us. You know, like some people learn, some people don't. But you got to learn to communicate effectively with yourself, first and foremost, because that's how you heal. That's how you get to the bottom of things. When you have a problem, the problem goes out. All right, we have a problem. How do we fix it? That's a solution. We're going to do what it takes to solve this problem for as long as it takes. Problem. There's nothing I can do. There's no solution. You know what I do with that problem? I drop it outside of my control. Genetics, outside of your control. Do something else. You can alter this, alter that. Don't get too crazy. You know what I'm saying? Wide body kit on a Honda Civic. You know, it might look good to some. You know what I'm saying? But control what you can control. Attract what you are. Become what you want. Become who you want. Trick older than time itself. All right. Now, like I said, you got to learn to communicate effectively with yourself. That's how you solve problems. That's how you have a healthy relationship with yourself. But that's also how you have a healthier relationship with anybody. Communication, by far, is one of them ones. Effective communication is a kingpin of keys in a relationship. Learning to communicate effectively when something goes on, not just blaming a person. Not a bunch of you did this and you did that. No, no, no, no, no. I feel this way because I feel this way because this happened. Right. I want to know this curiosity. Just being effective with how you explain things, express and all of the above. You've got to be effective with your communication. One of the things I really wanted to emphasize and really put a lot of attention on is you make the mistake. A lot of people make the mistake of telling people how they feel. Somebody will come up to you and piss you off and then tell you how you should feel. Tell you how you do feel. Tell you who you are and what's going on in your head. And it's not something you want to do. It's not going to work out good for you. That is not an effective way of communicating. A lot of people get very emotional and they immediately go from zero to 100. Hold on, baby. Let's slow down. Slow down. We still got one, two, three, four, all the way to 10. We got 10 to 20. We got 20 to 30. We got 30 to 40. Let's slow it down. Okay? Tell me what's wrong. Because what you're upset about, I don't understand. I just walked in here. And I'm going to do what I can to help you, but don't take that out on me. Now, if it's something I did, let me know. As much as I would love to read your mind, I can't. At least not right now. So bear with me. You know what I'm saying? Let's get through this. There's ways to say so many things. Now I can turn around and say the same thing I just said, ignorant as hell. I don't know what the hell you're yelling about. I didn't even do nothing. You know what I'm saying? There's ways to do these things. You shouldn't even be mad. I don't even know what you're mad for. All right. All right. You understand what I'm saying? But what I'm really hitting at, though. If you can't tell, one of the easiest ways, it's not easy. One of the most simple ways to understand communicating effectively in a relationship is to have a sense of accountability. Okay? Have a sense of accountability. Accountability is not blame. It's responsibility for a certain role in a situation. You understand what I'm saying? Something can happen to you, and you can still be accountable for a certain set of actions. Something can be going on in a relationship that you're not aware of, but you can still have accountability for a certain set of actions. When you're telling somebody something about how you feel or what's going on or how you see things, there's a certain level of responsibility you can have for your perception of things. Right? It's just like if you feel insecure within a relationship. Don't sit there and tell your partner, I feel like you're cheating on me. I feel like you're not trustworthy. Let somebody know. Look, in my past, I've dealt with certain things, and I'm trying my hardest to heal, and I put this on you. But I do feel insecure about certain things. And I felt that it was important to express these things and not take it out on you or have you thinking that something else is going on. You get what I'm saying? There's a certain way to do things. Right? But when you bring things back within and then go without, that is how positive changes happen. That is how effective communication happens. But on the contrary, we go outside. Then back to here. You did this, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now I. Right? Or I. Because you, because you, because you. Just use more I. Okay? Use more I. And for the last thing, I'm going to say this. Ladies, please listen. Men, y'all need to listen, too. But ladies, I'm just speaking from a man. I'm going to tell y'all this. I'm a man. A good man. There's some down bads out here, ladies. Some of y'all to be tripping, too. But for the good people, y'all already know. A good person. One of the things that you can do for them that will pay them more than any dollar amount. Is to make them feel appreciated. When somebody cares about you, when somebody goes the extra mile for you, when somebody is doing something for you. When somebody is in a situation with you. It is important to make them feel appreciated. If you want them to hang around, you make them feel appreciated. Appreciate it. Be appreciative. Show gratitude. Because I'm going to sit there and tell you. I can give somebody something. Anything. Little amount, big amount. And they can just brush it off. I don't care. For one, I'm not going to give it to you if I feel like I can't lose it. I'm not going to lend you $20,000 because I don't have that to give to you. $1, $2, $20, $50, $100, cool. You know what I'm saying? Take that. I'm not telling you have to grovel at my feet. But show a little appreciation because that can help you out in the long run. You never know what a person. You might give somebody $5,000. And you're like, man, thank you so much. That's all I needed. You're like, man, hold on. Take this $20,000. But you can give somebody $1,000. And they're like, oh, ----. Let me get my damn $1,000 back. It ain't even about the $1,000. It's the principle. The same thing goes with a relationship. When somebody comes in and does the simplest thing for you. Even when they're not doing that. Just show that appreciation. Right? I just appreciate you for being here. You know what I'm saying? I got my little lady tucked away on the side with me. Hey. Look. I appreciate your existence. Why do you always say that? Because I do. The hell you talking about? You think I'm going to have you in my proximity if I don't? You think I'm just yapping? Because I'm telling you. Look. We too old for the sweet nothings. All right? We too old for the sweet nothings. I know you might be used to X, Y, and Z. But this ain't that over here. If it's around me, I appreciate it. All right? And that's just what it's going to be. You got to show gratitude. Make people feel like you care about them. Make people feel like they're heard. You know what I'm saying? Their opinion counts in your life. That don't mean people have to run your life. That don't mean people have to. Like I said. They don't have to grovel at your feet. And just because you come home with a lollipop. They got to jump on your back and twirl on it. You ain't got to do all that. It's the simple things that count. When somebody just knows that they have you in their corner. And that they can lean on you for that support. And they know that you appreciate them. It just makes them go 100% harder. I don't know what it is. I know what it is. But I can't make you understand the molecules that's in the brain doing what they do. But it's just. It's a tale older than time. Make people feel appreciated and go a long way. But to bring it back home. Appreciation goes a long way with yourself. It's like I said in the beginning. You attract what you are. So if you find yourself in a situation where you feel like people don't appreciate you. Ask yourself. Do you appreciate you? And if you say. Well yes your ma. I appreciate me. But nobody appreciates me. Well clearly you don't. Because you should have an appreciation or respect for yourself. That is so high. That is so potent. That you shouldn't give a damn. Whether somebody respect or appreciate you. Because you got you. And I get it. It get lonely sometimes. On the road to improvement. I get it. Trust. But there's somebody out there that appreciates you. There's somebody out there. That cares about you. That has respect for you. You just don't see them. Maybe you're overlooking them. Maybe they're overlooking you. It's just the way it is bro. But like I said. You are what you attract. You attract what you are. So become your crush. You want your crush. Become your crush. Right. Now you might not get the person you crush along. But you will get something of that caliber. Maybe better. Because you're improving yourself. Don't get fixated with these people. Don't put these people on pedestals. Care about them. Understand what I'm saying? Care about them. Respect them. Do what you gotta do. But go home first. Take care of home first. Too many people be out here donating. Giving charity to everything else. But living in the gutter. Some people be like well that's noble. He gives out thousands of dollars. And he gives out all these acts of kindness. But he doesn't take care of his own home. It's a major sacrifice. Right. That's cool. If that floats your boat. Hey. Gotcha. Not me. I'm gonna do what I can do. I'm gonna help when I can help. But when it's time. To close that vault. And work on me. Hey. I'm sorry. I got a certain level of respect for myself. I gotta do this for me. I'm sorry. But I can't be your man. I'm sorry. No. If you get the reference. You're an OG. But uh. Yeah man. That's just the message I have for today. That's the message I have for today. So. To conclude all of that rabble dabble. Yabbity yabbity. Lottie dottie. We like to party. Respect yourself. Love yourself. Appreciate yourself. And write down your favorite qualities in a person. And make sure you have all of those. I'm not saying don't write them down if you don't have them. I'm saying write down the things you like about people. What you would like in a person. What you would like in a partner. In a friend. And be all of those things. Work on it. One by one. Don't overwhelm yourself. Alright. I love y'all. I already know what the deal is. I love y'all. I appreciate y'all. Shout out to y'all. And. Let's move with love in this world. Man. There's too much hate out here. Let's move with some love. And some. Some vibrations. And some. Some good music. And some soul. You feel me? Some peace. Some joy. Some. Happiness. Some groove. Let's move with a little. Epilogue stuff. You dig? Can you dig it? Yes you shall. But yeah. It's that guy. Once again. Jermond Davis. I. Am. O. You. Jermond Stanley.