life unfiltered | Our timeline for kids (& why it's complicated)

All that to say. They'll be coming soon. So Kevin and I are not on the same page about having kids. Hello guys, welcome back to the vlog. It has been a second since we have last catch up, catched up, caught up. I bought this adorable kissing booth for her from Target and it's actually a cat scratcher. Speaking of cats, cats out of the bag because in our last video we revealed where we are moving next. Kevin and I have known for a couple months now. It really hasn't been very long but we've known for a little bit longer than you guys have and it's gonna be a really big change. 2025 a lot of really big amazing wonderful things happened. We got married, we went on our honeymoon, jewelry collections launch, I went to Paris for the first time. I think 2025 was a really big year for us and for me and I think 2026 is gonna be a really big year for us and for Kevin. Last year was a little bit more of my personal stuff and I think this year we're doing a lot of Kevin's personal stuff which is really exciting. As most of you guys know he has been in surgical residency for six years now um which is a very very very long time. Before Seattle we were living in California. The way that the match system works for residency you rank a bunch of different programs and then you open a letter and whatever it says is where you go. For us that letter said Seattle so that's where we have been. Kevin grew up in Seattle so we're kind of back in his hometown. In the first couple years that we moved here granted it was the pandemic and everything I really really wanted to leave. I wanted to go back to where my friends my family were. California has year-round good weather so that was something that I really missed though I do really really appreciate coming to the Pacific Northwest and knowing that it is a privilege to have sunshine every day because when you live there every day it's hard to appreciate what you have. The last couple years we have been able to find our groove and we found things that made us really happy like snowboarding on the mountains. We have a little bit more of a community here and obviously having been here for six years we know the lay of the land. I know all of my favorite food spots. I have a hair person. I have a spa I like to go to. For us it was kind of a toss-up and we didn't know where we were going to end up. For me I wanted Kevin to make the best decision for his career and I was okay with wherever that would take us or not take us. Life's not that simple right there's so many things that we have to consider. Ultimately the universe kind of decided for us and sent us a lot of signs that it was time for us to go back to California which I'm really just beyond excited for but it also is bittersweet because I think we've spent our most highly prized years of our 20s here in Seattle so it will forever hold a very very special place in our hearts. I think hindsight is 20-20 and everything did happen the way that it needed to right Lily Okay be free. I don't think Kevin or myself have really allowed ourselves to fully be excited about the idea yet and there's also logistically a lot of things we need to figure out like where are we going to move to? How are we going to rent out the house that we have here? But that is all exciting fun stuff you know. I also turned 29 in December. Isn't it crazy that when you turn an age that's actually the year of life that you're completing? So when you turn one you've already lived your first year of life right? So that's actually your second year of life. So technically I'm already in my 30th year of life which is kind of terrifying to think about. I don't think 30 by any means is old. It definitely feels like a new era and ever since we've gotten married we've been getting so many questions from everybody about kids and I know some people get really offended by the idea. This is one of my favorite shades the cherry blossom cake from Huda Beauty. I don't think it's offensive at all. I don't mind you guys asking. The same way that people in my personal life are asking I totally understand you guys wanting to know because because why wouldn't you? We're friends. I've also been getting a lot of comments about my body people commenting that like oh my god she has a baby bump. Honestly I'm really thankful to be at a point in my life to not be offended by that whatsoever. I honestly think it's hilarious. Any baby bump that you've seen has been my lunch, my dinner, my all-inclusive resort from Cancun, you know all of the above. I do think it's really funny though that these comments are coming at a time in my life where I'm pretty sure my core is tighter than it's been in years because I've been consistently working out for two and a half months now so you know what I feel good. Now the question really is to have kids or to not have kids and in my 20s I feel like I've gone really back and forth about this. There's times where I didn't want kids at all and then there are times where I wanted a huge family. Kevin and I both come from small families. We've seen other families where it's so nice to have so many people that you can hang out with, depend on, travel with. Got a new carry-on for our next trip. I've tried so many suitcases this is by far the best one and now that I'm 29 almost 30 your life does not end at 30 and you are not too old at 30 but I do think it's also naive to not consider fertility rates and how it does get more difficult as you age. We know what the data shows, we know what the science says. Logically if we were to want multiple kids then I actually already feel sort of behind which is crazy right? The weird thing about it is that I simultaneously feel like I'm way too young to have a kid and that I'm deeply behind. Your prefrontal cortex finishes developing at 25. I would say 28-29 is when I started to feel that late 20s peace. There's very little drama in my life. I have very good core relationships, friendships. I don't entertain things that I don't want to anymore. Not that I couldn't have learned these lessons if I had a kid. I think it would have just been significantly more difficult and there are also so many things that I wanted to do. I wanted to travel. I wanted to launch my own jewelry collection. I felt like selfishly I had so many goals that I was looking forward to that I would feel really sad if I had a kid and then wasn't able to do these things. If you are already a mom I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments about when you had kids and whether you felt like it was the right timing for you or if you would have wished that you would have done it earlier or later. From asking my friends the general consensus is that there is never a right time to have kids because there will always be something that you could be working on and it's just something that you have to make a priority at some point in time. Putting Kevin's little luggage tag in here. I am a type A person. I like to plan everything down to the day, down to the hour. I want to know exactly when something is happening and how to prepare for it and I want to have all the resources that I can. You guys probably already know this about me from the way that I film TikToks at my wedding, how I plan my content, but having children and raising children is not really something that you can control that much. I also love to have my independence and do my own thing, have my own schedule, and of course it scares me that life is never going to be the same and I have to give up parts of my life. My career is also in a really good spot and having to take a bit of a gap or a break is scary. Although as a content creator maybe having a baby would do the opposite intended effect, I have no idea. Body changes? Of course I'm going to look different because I will have housed a baby in my belly for 10 months and there's still quite a lot of things I want to do before I have kids. For example, I want to take my parents on a luxurious all expenses paid for trip. We have to move from Seattle to California so the idea of moving while I'm pregnant or with a newborn both sound a little bit scary to me but not impossible. My mind just it's racing at a thousand miles because there's so many things that I have to consider. Compared to me, Kevin is a lot more simple-minded. He just kind of takes everything one thing at a time, but I think if it were entirely up to him we would have already had kids by now. But don't hear from me, let's hear from the man himself, okay? Babe, can you come here? It is a weekday but Kevin got home early from W-O-R-K. Yes. Lucky, come sit here. Come sit on mommy's lap. I was telling them how we're not on the same page about having kids. You're not on anyone's page. If it were up to you, do you think we would have already had kids by now? I don't know, maybe just let it be. In your dream life, how many kids would we have? Five. Okay, so you know like that's, I do agree that we both came from small families and it would be nice if we had more family members, do you agree? So we had a conversation a couple of days ago, can you tell us about it? I have to be the more healthy, don't get fat and then we can consider it. I'm not talking about that conversation but sure we can talk about that first. We both agreed, so a lot of how the quality of the pregnancy goes is actually related to male fertility and male habits before conception. Are you saying I have bad habits? No, I'm saying that we both need to lock in and be healthy, right? So that was one thing that we discussed. The second thing that we discussed was I feel like I don't have all the resources I need. Like before I have this baby, in my ideal world, I would have enough money to pay for a night nurse, I would know exactly the babysitting situation, I need to know that I can still continue to work, I need to have a house, we need to move. For me, I was like there are 35,000 things I need to do before I'm ready to have a kid. I said that's a good plan but that's not what you said. That's a good plan but it's not realistic. Nobody has all of those things before they have a kid. I mean it's good to try to plan for as many things. I would be very lucky to have a kid to be in that situation but it's not like that. You didn't have that when you were born and I didn't have that when I was born. When we both were growing up, our parents had none of those things and we both turned out okay and we will figure it out. I felt really reassured because you're right, our parents didn't have any of those things and they figured it out. In a lot of ways, we're really lucky to be in the position that we are because of the sacrifices that our parents made for us. To me, I want to be able to afford the best house in the best school district for this child and I don't want to. It's not for the child. The kid's not going to be worried about the kind of house. That's your, that's our worry. You're right. Those are my worries, not the kid's worries. It feels stupid but that didn't occur to me until you said it to me. You can be the kid. You can regrow your childhood. You can live vicariously through the kid for all the things you didn't experience. I don't want that. I'm going to traumatize them for that. You're going to live through your child's experiences for the things you did not live through when you were growing up. You mean you? The way you want to build Legos every day and say it's for the kids and go to Disneyland for the kids. I also think there's a lot of beauty and imperfection in making mistakes, you know? Really? Like some of my core memories are from things not being the way that they should have been, right? And having to be creative and smart and figure things out. We even have nice suitcases like this nowadays. What does that have anything to do with you? I don't know. Why is it on the screen? You are doing better than the previous generation and the previous generation before. Exponential growth. You should probably add something in there about how you respect my body, my choice. Well, it's true, right? Well, timeline is based on you, right? I am ready whenever, but if you are ready and you want to do a couple other things, you have plans for this year. You're still very young. I'm getting old, but it's okay. We're literally two years apart. You called me in my 30s before I was even 30. You know what the good news is? That you'll always be older than me, so therefore you are older. I appreciate that you haven't given me the pressure in the sense that you know that I get to choose. Yes, you have given yourself enough pressure already and now you have your own special timeline that you can go by. Do you think that if it were up to us and we can choose who got pregnant, we would choose you? What? But I have all the pains and all the bad habits and the work stress and the sleep. You can sleep as much as you want. Okay, do you think if we could choose, we would choose you or me? You would not trust me. So you think I would still do this? Yes. You wouldn't make me do one and you do one and fight them each other. But honestly, it's funny because the less pressure you give me, the more pressure I put on myself. Should I pressure you then? Pressure. The way that my personality is, I don't need external pressure because I promise you whatever you're going to pressure me about, I've already given myself 10 times the amount of pressure. Have I pressured you about anything? No, because you know my personality and you know that I'm already stressed out about it. I promise you I've already thought about it. All the hateful things people say about me, I promise I've already thought about it, you know? That's why. Speaking of planning, I cut Kevin a deal, right? What? I started. In alignment with my planning, I promised him that he needs to eat clean and exercise for three months straight and lock in and so do I. We both need to lock in and after three months, then we would be ready to think about it. Okay. Right? It has been a month. It has not been a month. Yes. Almost a month. December 15th. That was not the date that you started. Yes. December 15th. You remember it so well. Yes. There are multiple things I have to do next year. There's a wedding I have to attend, a bachelorette, and so there are some not good times for a baby. There's never a good time. All that to say. Baby coming soon. Thanks. You're welcome for the great hook. What he said. Babe, you can't go. You have to stay here. We have to go to the gym. No. All that to say, I think this will be an exciting year for us on many fronts, including maybe kids. I can't decide if 2026 is the year that I'm going to be insanely hot or very pregnant. Or both. Or a little bit pregnant. Or both. You know? And um. Why can't you be hot and pregnant? And just so you guys know, it does not bother me if you are guessing if I'm pregnant or not pregnant. Get someone to keep posting that stuff. They're like, announcement. Are you pregnant? I see the little baby bump. That was so rude. Whoever wrote that. No, it genuinely does not bother me. I will 100% drop hints to you guys before we get pregnant. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. If you DM me, I might even tell you before I announce it. We could get pregnant as early as two months from now, I guess. Okay. So yeah, that's the update. I think we're going to take it as it goes. And um. Choo-roo. If you have questions, concerns, advice, please leave it for me in the comments. I am scared, excited, and everything in between. You can do it. It's a big year.