Niall Horan Takes the Jonas Brothers Golfing

Hey guys, welcome to the Niall Horan and Jonas Brothers inaugural, and one and only, golf day. Since we're such good golfers, we thought it'd be only fair if we were to play a golf we would handicap ourselves. So in the wheel of stupidity here, we've got some balls with handicaps on them, and we've got to do what it says. You ready boys? Ready. Let's get it. Other way, Kev. Wheel of stupidity. Alright. Yeah, it is called the wheel of stupidity. Alright. Your opponents get to blow air horns while you shoot. Fantastic. Come on. There it is. Spin around ten times with your forehead on your club grip, and then swing while dizzy. On my back, also, my lucky numbers are 7, 16, and 25. Wow. Let's see what we got. You have to play in a kilt with a full set of bagpipes. Right at home. Your club is covered in lube before every shot, making it very slippery. Oh. Wonderful. Well, I brought my own. I'll let you borrow it. Alright boys, we've got our handicaps. I look ridiculous. He's got lube. Yep. Let's go. Let's do it. Oh, God. This is going to suck. Welcome to beautiful Tarzana, California, for the inaugural Niall Horan Jonas Brothers Invitational. A one-hole winner-take-all debacle. Teeing off first is Kevin Jonas, a gentle breeze at his back, and three very loud air horns. Let's see if he can focus with all this distraction. No, he cannot. Great shot. You did better than I thought you would. Will you count me off? Yeah. Now Jonas. One. Two. Still tipsy from last night, Joe's been celebrating his birthday week, and Dizzy Club could spell disaster. Eight. Nine. Ten. A running start, and birthday Joe makes contact into the foliage. Did you see that? Awful, awful, awful, awful. There it is. Now Nick Jonas addresses the ball, fully lubricated. I feel, like, warm. Slick. It's pretty lubed up here. Niall adds a few last-minute splats of emotional lotion. Oh, God. The sound. Slick Nick attempts his first tee shot. It looks like your arms just stopped working at the bottom. Nick, I thought you played this game. Lube it or lose it, Nick. Hey! Oh, you hit the car. You're in play. My turn. Niall, why don't you play us a tune before you swing? All right. Here we go. Oh. Wow. That is a sight to see. You would think by my accent this is what I look like when I play golf generally. I'm not sure I can do this. Oh. We're in play. He's sitting pretty. Shall we, boys? Let's get it. Let's do it. No. It's Kevin and Niall versus Nick and Joe in a best ball scramble, so Joe will play Nick's tee shot where it lies, atop a sprinkler head. I don't believe it. That's a free drop, right? Or a free kick, it looks like. Let's try that again. There we go. We'll make that two free kicks. Okay. There you go. One big toss onto the fairway. Two strokes in, and they are already making a mockery of this dignified sport. All right. Lube me up. Thank you. It's a putter from 180 yards out. That's a bold choice. Here. Smart play. Hey! You're getting good at this lube golf. No, I'm okay, thanks. Sure? Yeah. Now it's up to you, Kev. I'm going to give you a little reading. Kevin will play the tee shot made by his teammate, Nile Horn. Oh, what a shot. And just like that, Kevin and Nile on the green, too. That's the best golf shot you've ever hit. You are so horny. Here I am. Come on, Joseph. Nine, ten. All right, good job. Ten more spins, and a surprisingly good shot from Joe. You've done well, considering. Yes, it's Dizzy Gillespie and Libby Armstrong. Do you think we're safe over here? Oh, you're safe, all right. Getting pretty used to this lube life. Yeah! Oh, wow. Oh, the sand. And we're taking a trip to the beach. Sand and lube. Not the greatest combination of all time. A little grip. A little friction. A little, yeah. Joe Jonas, quietly retching in the background. Joe's a veteran golfer. He knows to always do a sick up in a sand trap. It's nature's litter box. There we go. Nice out. Good out. There it is. Look how good that was. Now that we're on the green, the wheels are completely off. How far up, Kev? Sir, the bagpipes must be in the front. You know the rules here. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Nile with a putt for Birdie. Oh. And it's a bit short. Almost. Ten more spins, and here comes Joe. All right, come on. Up the hill. Nice putt. And he sends his putt into next week. Proud of you. Just ugly golf. Proud of you. Here to put us out of our misery is Kevin Jonas for par. Loser! Like I said. Loser! Just tap it in. We just won. Come on! And there you have it, folks. Not sure what it was, but it's over. I want to shake your hand. Leave him alone. Since you're losers, you can wash our balls. Oh, wow. Let's hit the showers. And now for the ceremonial washing of the balls. Look at that technique. We apologize to all those we've offended, and may God have mercy on our souls.