The Wedding Of Will & Shannon

I'm gonna love you like no one's loved you. Come rain or come shine, high as a mountain, deep as a river, come shine. I guess when you met me, it was just one of those things, cause I'm gonna be true. Well, if you let me, you're gonna love me. I don't need a mic, hopefully. After 27 years of teaching theater, I do. So, um, I have a couple of toasts I want to make. And the first one, um, I'm not a very spiritual person, but I guess I am in my own way. But meeting this guy, like, was so weird and like coincidental and so many weird things that lined up. I was like, this can't be an accident. And I gotta think that someone was behind it. And his name is William Clark Lovell III. And, uh, he's my late boyfriend who passed away in 2013. And I gotta, I gotta acknowledge him, cause I really think he sent me this guy. William Clark Lovell and Ross Butler III. Like, I mean, I guess the middle names are different, but you get the idea. I mean, it's just too amazing to be an accident to the Lovells and to William Clark Lovell. And then to this guy, I love you so much. I never thought I would find love twice. I have bad luck, but that's not you. Man, you're the best luck I've ever had. Um, so, as one of my friends said, it's almost like all of my good karma is coming back to me at once. I got divorced, moved cross country, I now have my dream job and my dream wife. So I just wanted to toast my dream wife, Shannon. Alright, I've been on a diet for months. Let's cut this cake early. I did have a toast prepared, but let me come over here for a second. As I look around this room, I see motherfuckers who are coming from Virginia, a bunch of people over here came from California. Maybe you've heard of it. The one thing that I was thinking about earlier today when I was thinking about these two, and this whole ceremony was stolen bits from movies from their childhoods. Which is ******* awesome. And there's one thing that I personally love to say in front of strangers that is also stolen. It doesn't matter who you are, who you love, what you do to live and thrive and survive. You just gotta get out there and find that special someone. Even if it's not the first time, you can still figure it out. When you do find that special someone, you gotta hold him, you gotta squeeze him, you gotta tease him and please him. And then, and then, you gotta carefully negotiate a way to put that thing you want inside of their bodies. And sometimes, that means integrating some really amazing qualities. Taking on some skills, like speaking with your entire body. And also, somehow, my brother is gonna make Shannon more nerdy than she already was. And boy howdy, I saw her art when I met her for the first time. Y'all have done a great job, especially you two. So, I just wanna say, we're so grateful to have the opportunity to be here with all of you who are now our new family. So, can we just together acknowledge how these two are together? Can we get some cat paws? I'm not just saying that because they are both perverts, obviously, and they love it. That's it, I guess. Have some booze now? I don't know.