Selena Gomez & Jay Shetty on CONFIDENCE, OVERCOMING Negative Narratives & Finding PURPOSE ❤️

I would probably say I started beginning to gain that confidence when I went through a breakup, and that's something that was super public. But all of those things that I'd felt so bad about myself and just so terrible every day, I wanted to debunk those feelings. I wanted to take control over that narrative because I did feel that way. But the greatest gift I got from all of that was me actually being honest with people, sharing my story and gaining the confidence to know I am enough. And I actually work really hard at being a good person. And I know I'm a great person. And when people paint these unnecessary stories, it actually gives me pleasure to to just combat it with love, like you said, or kindness. You know, I think it's it's actually fun for me because it's it is who I am. I don't I don't I can't waste my time if I'm to be honest with everyone in this room. I don't want to waste my time being upset or taking in all of the negative things that I hear online. And I don't even hear it. It's just what it gets really bad. Other people tell me and then I see inhumane things happening and people talking negatively about other women. And it just drives me absolutely crazy. And I think I'll just always be that kind of person. And I would say I'm grateful for my past because it's made me a lot stronger. Yeah. Well, I want you to know that, you know, we see you for that. Like it is. It is. Whenever you do that, I am completely mind blown because it requires so much self-assurance. It requires so much commitment to your truth and then also for for everyone else. So thank you so much for leading the way, even in that other thing. Like, no, it's so hard to do. It's so easy to it's so easy to be defensive. And you've found because it's your truth, you found a way of sharing your truth without making it defensive. Of course. I mean, thank you. I don't know if I intentionally do it, but it works really well. So I'm sticking to it. Yeah. Stick to it. Don't don't change it. Teach it. Yeah, exactly. Teach it. The new masterclass. Yeah, no, I genuinely mean that, genuinely mean that. One of the things that comes through in the documentary is we're just getting full access. Like, that's what it feels like, like full access at all times. And we get to see all of your relationships and you get to see the relationships that are long term. You get newer relationships. You get all these different people who are interacting with you and they're interacting with you in every element. Like, we get to see you straight after an interview, straight before an interview. And and I could tell there was a time when you feel a bit of angst because you get asked poor questions or like, you know, and I could see that in you. And that really hit me, because the reason we set up this conversation, this this podcast in the first place was I was hoping that it would be a place where people like yourself could share your true purpose. Right. And seeing you share on screen just how hard it can be to deal with just does it minimize the work you're trying to do? What what happens? Tell me what what happens when you're asked. I actually just feel like insulted sometimes. And my I sit in what I worked. I mean, I work so hard. I love what I do. I love my job. I love talking about my job. There's different facets of my job that I love talking about for different reasons. And when I sit down and I have to do press from, you know, starting at eight a.m. until, you know, whenever the night ends, it's it's frustrating. You want to spend that time talking about meaningful, meaningful moments. And I just I wanted that to be in the documentary because I felt like I know that a lot of artists, maybe not everyone, but I know a lot of artists and people in my position feel that way. And I hope that it will only, you know, maybe shift that a bit and maybe stop asking people what word you associate with marshmallow and maybe ask them how they're doing, you know, maybe just having a bit of an inspiration to do more and be better. And and yeah, it actually is pretty crazy because that that happens. It's weird. Yeah, it is really weird. And it's it's interesting because I feel like there's such a trend that's been created about asking people clickbaity, buzzy, you know, moment questions. And then you think, well, this is a human totally with emotions and ideas and views. And and I think often people think, oh, well, I've only got them for ten minutes. So I better just ask them all this stuff. But you forget that that there's a whole person behind that. The documentary really humanizes you. What parts of you did you really want people to understand better or see more that you think they haven't been able to see over time? Just, I guess, where I was meant to be. I in the beginning, it really made me kind of sad. I wanted it to be a documentary that was really fun and about me doing this big tour. And instead, I felt so bad because we were filming these really intense moments. And then I had to stop filming. And I think I really ultimately wanted people to realize that I'm not really that put together. I can be and I feel much better now, but I don't want people to ever look at me and think she has it all and she's figured it out and she is, you know, perfect or whatever. I hope no one thinks that. But I I just don't ever want to be that kind of public figure. I want to be someone that hopefully could be a friend that could just disarm you from the celebrity-esque part of it. I just want to be someone that people can genuinely walk up to and say, hey, I kind of I understand what you walked through. I did, too. And have a conversation with. Yeah. Why is why is that important? Why do you think it's important that I guess for a long time your people did consider celebrity to be perfect or maybe it was portrayed that way? Sometimes maybe it wasn't. But why do you think it's important for people to see that no one in the world, including me, anyone we're talking about, there's no one who's perfect? But why is that so important? It's important to me because I felt like I had to be when I was, you know, when I was going through relationships, I felt like I had to be a certain way. That's why in 2016, I was talking about my body and talking about my appearance and talking about how, oh, everyone's going to see me as this Disney kid. No one's going to take me seriously. All of those moments. That's kind of where. Yeah, that's where all the confusion came from for me. Yeah. Yeah. No, that does make sense. That's that's a really fascinating answer, because, yeah, it's almost like you've had to live that way. Yeah. And then you're kind of unpacking it for everyone and breaking down that image that's created. And I think that definitely comes across. One of the things that stood out to me in that unpacking of the perfection element that you're talking about, we're so scared of imperfection because it reveals there's parts of us that are not ideal by some external comparison.