Family Is Coming After Me For Money I Just Inherited

In today's digital world, you need ID theft protection that actually works. Protect yourself at xander.com. >> My mom recently passed. >> Oh, and how recently? >> Thank you. Um, about two months ago. >> Wow, >> dude. O, >> yes. And she worked for the state and I inherited $340,000. Um, and at that time everything is very disorganized. She doesn't have she didn't have a will. So I ended up becoming the volunteer administrator because she doesn't have a lot of assets. So the only thing that's getting distributed is life insurance. And now we found out there's a pension as well. And when I came to the $340,000 I was being pressured to divide it up between my two younger sisters. So, my mom had me when she was a teenager, got the state job, signed up this uh paperwork for the life insurance back in 2000, and probably forgot about it, and she has the pension that she's divvied up between my my siblings, uh my two sisters, and myself. So, now I'm being pressured to divvy up this money, and I was on board for that. >> Who's pressuring? >> Um, my grandfather and my mother's ex-boyfriend. Hi. >> Your grandfather, >> um, >> which is presumably your mom's dad. >> Yes. >> And then the ex-boyfriend. >> Yes. So, my mom originally wanted my youngest sister, the 16-year-old, to go and live with him instead of her father because he's not that great of a man. He ended up abusing me and her um when we were younger. >> Oh, man. >> So, and he financially abused me. So that was the other thing is she doesn't want him having access to my sister's money. >> Okay. I I interrupted you. Sorry. So you were saying I'm feeling pressure, but >> Well, I'm feeling pressure, but I I did want to give them money. Um and then I we were taking care of my mom's dog and the dog attacked me and my two-year-old son. We had to go to the hospital. It was a really traumatic event. Like honestly worst experience of my life. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. and I wasn't met with any humility or even care for my son. They were making accusations that I instigated the dog attack um after it was proven that I didn't make it up. >> The sisters at first >> the sisters were >> Yes, the sisters >> and and I'm sorry. >> Did you say a moment ago I didn't want to give them money or I did want to? >> I did. >> You did want to. >> I >> Okay. >> Yes. >> And then the dog the dog incident happens. They treat you like crap. Yeah. And then it just like is a mirroring of my entire childhood where I'm treated like crap by everyone. And I just I don't want to give someone hundred plus thousand dollars to treat me like crap the rest of my life. Especially when like literally weeks ago I was trying to figure out how I'm put going to put food on the table. Like I run a small business. Um and it's it's really tough this year. You know, I run a service-based industry. It's a luxury service to be honest with you, washing windows. So, not many people have that money in their pocket this year. So, kind of struggling. And then we we come into this money and I'm going to divvy it up. And then I get attacked and they're they're treating me very poorly. Not not even caring about my 2-year-old son. And then once they find out that there's money involved, one of my sisters has changed her tune and she's now nice. And my mom always said that she was two-faced. And my 16-year-old sister that I was really trying to like set trust up for has gone like no contact with me and everyone says that she hates me. >> Well, that that decision got real easy. >> So, let's walk through the options here. Number one, you don't give them any money and they continue to not like you, right? >> Mhm. Option number two, you give them the money and then you end whatever is left of these relationships. Correct? >> Yeah. >> Because nothing's going to salvage the relationship. There's no world where we're all happy now and they're good people. And so you just option one, it's going to weigh on you probably to not give them any money and it might make your life more difficult as they continue to make your life a living hell. Or you give them the money and say, "Listen, this is all you're getting. We're done here. Don't don't contact me if that's what you want. If you want to go no contact because they're they no longer are serving you in any capacity. This is no longer even family. This is a business transaction to them. >> Yeah. >> So you give them each what? 113 grand and call it a day. >> Yeah. That's what they're looking for. >> I mean, what would you do, George? Let's answer this. >> I might do it for the peace of mind >> cuz it's going to weigh on your conscience. And again, in reality, they're never going to stop and they're going to just try to trash you, your reputation, your life, come after you. I don't know what these people are capable of. Truthfully, you know them better than I do. But for me, I'm going, you know what? This is worth it. I'm writing a check to give me peace of mind that I did what I thought was the best I could do. And because there was no will, we don't know what mom would have done, right? >> Yeah. Well, and that's the thing is I tried to I I had like a chat GPT write up a mock will and just try to really specify what her wishes were around my 16-year-old sister. And that was met with extreme hostility. Um, and they were trying to make me out to be the bad guy in the hospital. And I was like, "Guys, like, I'm going to have to handle this stuff u with family court and probate and all that. So, I'm just trying to figure out what mom's wishes are." and they didn't want to hear it. >> Well, AI is never going to figure out what your mom's wishes would be. >> Bad decision there. >> Well, no, no, no, no. I I meant uh write up a will for me to fill in. So, like the will was already written up. We could have the notary come up from the hospital. >> This is when she was still alive. You're saying >> this is when she was still alive. Like we had probably >> um so she was still coherent and things like that. And I asked the nurse if she was to have a will wrote up and she wanted to sign it, would it be legal? And they said, "Yeah, as long as his notary was there." And when I brought that up to the other family members, and it wasn't to go through all the assets, it was really to focus on my 16-year-old sister, what her wishes were around her. And >> how old are the siblings now? >> 16 and 21. >> Okay. Because I wouldn't be giving a 16-year-old $113,000. or >> I'm not given either one of them. Uh >> so I might do this later on when they're adults and say, "Hey, here's" and have it in a written contract of here's how much you'll get and when. >> Well, that is the other thing is do I put this in a mutual fund and set up a trust for them with conditions? Um you know, because like like I I don't want to give a 21-year-old $100,000 and I don't have a steward assigned. >> I'm going to tell you something, Nick. Here's the deal, George. I'll give George a final word on it. I He's already given his opinion. George is way nicer than me. >> Uh about to drop the hammer >> probably because he's slightly more neurotic than me. He doesn't want to have to deal with it. >> Um I I think the trust idea would normally make sense. It doesn't make sense in this case, George and Nick, in my opinion, because the minute you say to them, to the 16 and 21 year old, one's two-faced, the other one has cut you out of their life, and you're going to say to them, you'll get this your 100,000 your share, uh, at this age, and if you meet these moral conditions, they're going to freaking lose their mind, and they're never going to get it anyway. Um, and I think your gut is the one you go with here. And I think you were thinking at first I'll give him something and now I don't think that makes any sense. And I'm going to go extreme. I think it's extreme, but I think in this case it calls for that. I cut them both out. There's no way you're going to be able to ever figure out what mom wanted. She didn't take care of it. She made it your problem. You stepped up like a good son. You're a good man. You're going to make the best use of that money. Uh I just I'd be okay, George. I'd sleep very well at night not giving him a nickel. And you're sure, Nick, there's no legal obligation here to give them anything because there was no will. >> No, >> the courts decided it should all go to you. >> That 340,000 is all uh life insurance money from her work. >> And you were the sole beneficiary? >> Beneficiary. >> And why was that? Why did she do that? Because of your age? >> Uh when she I was her only child when she first got the job. >> Okay. So she just kind of never got around to changing it. Might be the real reason. >> Yes. versus if she was able to today, would she add beneficiaries? >> We don't know. We can't play that game. >> That's the question mark. So, I don't know, man. This is a real tough personal decision. You got two options. I don't think either one is wrong. I wouldn't fault you for either one, >> but I don't know. Peace of mind is worth something. So, I would just think about that. You know these people better than I do. >> The best ID theft protection comes from Xander. Real monitoring, full restoration, no fluff. Learn more at xander.com.