Little House on the Prairie S06E11 Author! Author!

Ow! Oh, never mind the new plow. I'll show you what I got. Telegram for your mom. For me? Mm-hmm. Well, open it, Ma. Oh, I don't believe it. What is it? Mom Parker, man from Wisconsin. They want to see their first fragrance, huh? How's that for news, huh? Oh, I gotta go tell Mary and Adam. What about the laundry? Throw it in the basket and don't let any of it fall in the dirt. Never stopped growing. I was thinking of considering the names Titan or Goliath. They're both. Uncle Theodore had twins, you know. Twins? Yeah, I even heard of an aunt on my mother's side had twits. Are you sure? I guess she could have miscounted. You're teasing me. Mary! Adam! Mom, what's wrong? Oh, not a thing. Guess who's coming to visit? The Stork. No, that's the right reason, but the wrong name. Grandpa and Grandma Holbrook. Really? Oh, Adam, we haven't seen them since we left the big woods. And we were just babies then ourselves. And now they're coming to see your baby. When are they coming? They'll be here Thursday. Oh, Adam, you'll love them. I just can't believe they're going to be here to see your baby. Babies, remember? Many, many babies. Many babies? Don't worry. He's just joking. I hope. So quiet. I can't believe she'll be here tomorrow. Are you saying your mother's noisy? She never was one to tolerate idleness. Even in church, she'd be tapping her feet to the music. She's going to keep you hopping, that's for sure. Oh, I know. I can't wait. I've got so much to talk about. Father. Dear sweet paw. I don't know how your dear sweet paw keeps up with her. He doesn't try to. He just sits back and enjoys her. I've never seen two people more in love. I can't wait for the knockout. I'll make a walnut cake. Mother always loved my walnut cake. That's really very romantic. I give you a kiss and you talk about a walnut cake. Oh, Charles. It's all right, it's all right. Charles. Tell me. I roast. Are you a relative? Yeah. I'm sorry. Mrs. Holbrook died en route. We put Mr. Holbrook in the private compartment, last car. What do you want done with the body? Wagons around the corner. Earth to earth. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Sure and certain hope for the resurrection into eternal life. Mr. Holbrook. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For thou art with me. In the weeks that followed, Grandpa stayed in the soddy. He grew more depressed and frightened. He seemed to be just waiting to die. No, please, I... Let me go. I told Laura I wasn't hungry. He didn't eat any breakfast this morning either. Please. If you keep this up, we'll lose you too. What, Lois? Life will go on, same as it has for a thousand years. What are you saying? Why are you talking like this? We're born, we live, we die. Just a memory. Pretty soon that's forgotten. That is true. Nothing changes, Carolyn. I leave no mark. No proof of my existence, and I'm the last Holbrook. Not even the name continues. Father, I don't want to hear you talking like this. Then don't listen! I told you, Carolyn, please, please leave me alone. I was only trying to help. Your mother's gone, she was all I had, and pretty soon I'll be gone too. Nothing matters. Please. Carolyn. Please. Go back to your family. Ma, can I ride into town with you and Pop? Did you finish your chores? Yep, all done. What about that book? What book? The Sleeping Potion. Can't read Tom Sawyer all your life. Why not? Because it's a school assignment, you'll have to finish it. Ma. What? Oh, no. I read the same book when I was in school. Maybe you could tell me the story so I wouldn't have to finish it. Albert, go read the book. Yes, ma'am. Did he eat any breakfast? None to speak of. He doesn't want to come with us. It's been almost three weeks. It's hard to come out of there. Takes a little time. Grandpa? Yeah? I hate to bother you, but I need some help and you're the only one left to ask. I don't see what I can do, but you're free to make a request. Have you ever read Silas Marner? No, can't say I ever did. Guess you got lucky. They must have written it just to make school kids miserable. Sure wish I could have gone to school when you did. Oh, now, we had our share of dull reading. Times were different, but the effect was the same. Did you ever get through? Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you this. Oh, please, Grandpa, you can trust me. We had a boy in our class named Cornelius T. Sherwood. Cornelius? As I recall, he read all of Plato's Republic in less than three days. So whenever we got assigned a book like Silas Marner, we'd pitch in a penny apiece and Corny would read the book while we went fishing. Then he'd recite the story to us and we'd show up in class with smiles on our faces and an unopened book in our hands. What a great idea. Now, don't you go getting any notions of your own, young man. Oh, no point. We haven't got a Cornelius T. Sherwood in our class. If I had the brains, I'd go into business for myself and get rich. Well, Corny never got rich. He had brains, but he had a weakness. What? Girls. Spent all his money on candy and flowers. There was one girl in particular, a cute little redhead. Samantha was her name. Now, wait a minute here. I'm talking a blue streak and you've got work to do. Oh, I can finish that dumb old book any time. I promise. Go on about Corny and his girlfriend. Samantha? Samantha. Yeah. Well, Samantha could wrap Corny around her little finger with a wink and a smile. Samantha, as I told you, was a redhead. She was kind of beautiful. Willoway, I suppose, would be the right word. Hi, Ma. Hi, Pa. Hi. Help me with the packages, will you, dear? Sure. Is your brother reading his book? No, ma'am. Charles. I'll talk to him right now. He's not in the house. Oh, if he's gone fishing. Oh, no, he hasn't. He went for a walk with Grandpa. What? With Grandpa? Yep. He was telling Albert all kinds of stories about when you were little. Oh, yeah. He told me to tell you to set a place for him at the table tonight. I told you he'd be fine. Marcy Dayton and I went picking blackberries. I remember that. I was seven years old. Six. Seven. Six. With one front tooth missing. I remember everything. Including the fact that she got enough blackberries for six jars of preserves, while I had barely enough for a single pie. And you pretended she'd found all the best bushes. Didn't say a word. You couldn't afford a pie. I knew you'd eaten more than you picked. You never let on. I didn't have to. Your purple tongue did. That's funny. I think I'm going to write that down. Well, you better get some more paper, then. Your grandpa's got a whole lifetime of stories to tell. Well, then maybe you should do the writing, Grandpa. Don't be so quick to laugh. Don't you have more than enough stories to fill a book? Hey, that's a great idea. It's got to be better than Silas Marner. Something to read to your grandchildren. And your great-grandchildren. I'll remember it. I don't like that, huh? Oh, Grandpa, write it, please. A remembrance book. Yes, I think I might do that. Yes, indeed, I think I might just do that. But right now, I'm hungry. I'm starving. Let's eat. Want a sandwich? Thank you, Laura. Looks good. I like that, huh? It's wonderful. It'll all happen just that way. Read it. Bessie. Oh, how I remember that cow. She and Pa never did get along. Here. Read this part. Right here? This is good. Of course it is. I mean, this is really good. You know, I bet if we got this to the right people, they'd just snap it up like that and post it. You mean a real book? Printed pages? Sure, why not? We're enjoying it. I think a lot of people are. You know, I got a mind to just take this to the printers, have a copy made, and send it off. Oh, Charles, that's exciting. But let's not tell Papa, though. If it works out, it'll be a surprise. If not, he won't be disappointed. All right, Charles? Charles? All right? Yeah, fine, yeah. Who the heck is Herman Otis? Who? Ooh, what are you, an owl? Herman Otis, it says right here. I caught Herman Otis kissing Carolyn. Let me see that. Right there. Charles, I was ten years old. It doesn't say here in the book you were ten years old. Well, I think I can remember how old I was. Well, why? Couldn't you forget that night? Oh, Charles. How do you know you were ten years old? You didn't even remember how old you were, and you were picking berries with her. Well, what's her face, that girl? What was her name? Charles, I don't think there's any need to be jealous of something that happened when I was ten. I didn't say that I was jealous. I was asking you a question. I'll take it off tomorrow and have a copy made soon. All right. I'm tired. I'd sure like to know why a ten-year-old girl was kissing a fellow in the first place. I'm so excited. I ran almost over him. There's a lot of excitement down here. This should have been addressed to you. Why would anyone want to write me a letter? Why don't you read it and find out? What is this? Carolyn, I sent your book to a publisher. That's the answer. We recognize the quality and exceptional talent in this demonstration of your authorship, and would be profoundly honored to accept your manuscript for publication. Procedural details and contracts to follow and further correspondence. My book. The publisher of my book. Bob. I'm sorry. I'm just so happy. I'm so proud. I'll be remembered. I'm an author. I'm an author! Okay. Saturday. No, no, right now. Right here. Just... I must be dreaming. I thought I heard you ask to have a picnic. Right now in the middle of the night. No, you weren't dreaming. I did. Mary, there's a time for picnics and a time for joking. And neither one is this late at night. Adam, I'm starving. The chicken downstairs is just calling me. Well, you can have it for breakfast in a couple of hours. Oh, but Adam, my stomach's growling so loud I can't go to sleep. Wait. I must be crazy. Cold chicken in the middle of the night. Should I serve formal style or should we just dig in? Hey, Mary. Mary, whose idea was this anyway? Oh, here's one. That's it. That's what I've been waiting for. Mr. Holbrook's contracts. The whole town's buzzing knowing there's an author right here. And Mrs. Olsen is so jealous she could spit. Not bad news, I hope. No, no, I don't think so. I'm just not used to reading these fancy contracts, that's all. Oh, good. Thank you, Miss Foster. Good day, Charles. I just don't understand. It says right here they want us to pay them $32 to publish the book. I always thought the idea was that they would pay us. I wish you'd come to me before you sent it. I just didn't see any harm in it. Well, there isn't if you know who you're dealing with. You see, companies like this one profit by appealing to hopeful authors. They will publish your father-in-law's book. Yeah. $32. I'm afraid so. They probably never even read the manuscript. Well, at least you're not obligated in any way. I just wish it was that easy. Thank you very much, Lisa. I believed in it. He is a good writer. I just think the reason we thought it was all so important was because the story's meant so much to us. What's wrong with that? Nothing, but how much meaning are they gonna have for a storekeeper in Wyoming who's got a family of his own and children of his own and stories of his own? I suppose you're right. If only we hadn't said anything. If only I hadn't said anything. I'm gonna have to tell him. It might come better from his daughter. No, that wouldn't be fair to you. This was my idea. I'll tell him in the morning. I'm gonna go for a walk. Come in. Good morning, Charles. Beautiful morning, isn't it? Breakfast ready? It will be in a few minutes. I've been up for hours. Couldn't sleep. Got up early to write a letter to Wendell about my new book. First thing you know, I was writing letters to half the people in Big Woods. Promised them all a copy. Oh, I know it seems a little bit like showing off, but at my age, a man doesn't usually have too much to show off about. Something on your mind you wanted to talk about, Charles? No, no, I just wanted to know breakfast would be ready in a few minutes. I'll be right down. You know, I think I might walk into town after breakfast, see if those contracts have come in. Well, look, I have to pick up some supplies at the Olsen's. I'd be happy to stop by and check with Mrs. Foster. I'd appreciate that. Charles, since you're going to the post office anyway, maybe you could drop those letters for me? Yeah, no problem at all. And Charles, I want to thank you for all you've done for me. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be sending those letters. I'll see you at breakfast. Be right down. My father gave me a whole bunch of letters to mail back to his friends. You, uh, didn't tell him, did you? I couldn't. Caroline, he's so happy, I just couldn't disappoint him again. Well, what are we going to do? We'll just have to raise them. Thirty-two dollars? I have the plow out. There's brand new, never been used. It's worth about $25. We'll just have to raise the cost. I couldn't tell him. It shouldn't take too long. Can we walk around some? All right, but don't wander off. Okay, let's go. I don't want to. Come on, Laura. Okay. You're up to something, aren't you? We've got to raise some money to help her out. And I suppose you know just how to do it. Follow me. I'm telling you, the plow is brand new. It's never been used. If you just come outside and take a look at it... Look, mister, I told you. If it's used, it's used. It's secondhand. And I'll only offer you $12.50. That's it. Now, excuse me. $12.50 is just half price. That's my best offer. Well, this isn't the only hardware store in town. Suit yourself. We close at 6 if you change your mind. Lady? Could you just... Just spare a penny or two? Where is your home, child? It was a fire, ma'am. It took everything it did. And your parents? It took them, too. Please, ma'am. We're awful hungry. Are you all right, dear? She's dead? It was just a fire. Oh, how terrible. Positively tragic. If there's anything else I can do... Oh, bless you, ma'am. You've done more than enough. Bless you. Jillian! She's not dead yet. Uh, morning. Good morning, Carolyn. What are you doing here? You only work weekends. Uh... Well, I was hoping that I might, uh, work every day for a while. Well, that would be wonderful. I don't know, Father. I hate to disappoint my regular customers. Disappoint them? I set a very high culinary standard here during the week. My cuisine has made a name for itself as far away as Mankato. Yes, it's a name I can't repeat in front of Mrs. Ingalls. My customers swear by my cooking. That's what I just said. Well, when can you start? Uh, as soon as possible. There's no time like the present. Well, I expected you sooner. The town ain't that big. Well, I kept it real nice. I'll say that for you. It's there to keep up. I told you I never even used it. Well, I can see that. Tell you what, uh, I feel real generous today. Are you gonna raise the price? I'll give you an even 13. Two, three, seven. $29.68. We made it. Well, not unless ciphering's changed an awful lot since I went to school. Laura's right, Pop. Should be $2.88. Where'd you get that money? Where, where did we get the money? Yeah, where did you get the money? Uh, people. What people? People in Mankato. They just seemed to want to give it to us. Yeah. Kind of like a miracle, isn't it, Pop? I guess it isn't up to us to question the ways of the Lord, is it? I should say not. Especially when the miracle puts us 56 cents over. I'll order the books tomorrow. Half-pint! The books are here, Grandpa! Hey! Come on, the books are here! Ah! You got them? You bet I got them, look at them. Oh, hi, Charles! Carolyn, I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying. There we go. That's what I see today. Oh, look, Pop. My Book of Memories by Frederick Holbrook. Congratulations, Mr. Arthur. Thank you. Thank you all. I wonder if anybody will buy it. Well, sure they're gonna buy it. Albert and I are gonna bring some into the mercantile. Pop, maybe you should autograph them. Autograph them? Golly, I think I will. I'll go get my pen. They sell very well. We could have a second printing. Second printing? What do we sell now? Ah, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm afraid not, Mr. Ingalls. Mrs. Olsen, you're the only store in town that sells books. I can't stock these to feed the seed. I said I'm sorry. I have to consider the kind of merchandise that I stock, and I don't think this is really going to be very interesting for our community. Harriet, two or three copies, just to see how they go. I said no. I'm sorry, but I really have very limited shelf space. Excuse me. Is there anything else? No, there's nothing else. Thank you. Charles, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. It's all right, Nils, I understand. She's jealous, because your father-in-law is famous. Pa, I'll be back in a second. All right, son. Mrs. Olsen? Yes? Albert, if you come back here to try again, you're just wasting your time, and mine. No, ma'am, I came back to thank you. To thank me for what? Well, Pa's been real busy lately. He hasn't actually read the book himself, so I'm hoping he never finds out what's in it. Bye. Wait a minute. What do you mean, what's in it? Well, stuff about my mom. I can't believe that my own grandfather would write such things down for the whole world to see. Really? Like what? I'm too ashamed to repeat them, ma'am. Oh, Albert, you can tell me. After all, your mother and I are old friends. There isn't anything that you could tell me that would change my opinion about her. Well, there was this one part where my mom was in a public place, and she, she didn't do anything. What? She wasn't wearing anything either. Oh. You mean she... Naked. Oh. So you see why I didn't want folks to be reading that book? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thanks again, Miss Olsen. I knew I could trust you. Yeah. Charles! Charles, how many books do you have? How many of these books can I have? I mean, I'll take all of them if I can. Mrs. Olsen, you just said... Well, I know. It was just a matter of shelf space, Charles, and I cleared a shelf. I'll pay cash in advance. You mean for all of the books? Yes, all of them. I'll get the money. You bring the men. How early are you making out? I haven't the slightest idea. Women. Who can figure them out? Harriet, I'm surprised that you're taking such an interest in the Ingalls family. Oh. Why not? After all, they're our neighbors. Oh, here it is. Caroline stood in front of the church naked as a jaybird. Caroline? Why? Listen. Naked as a jaybird. Her diaper was... Her diaper? Good grief. Oh, that scrawny little devil. Oh, Caroline? No, Albert. He told me that Caroline ran around stark naked in this book. Oh, well, who cares? She was only a baby. Oh. Oh, shut up. You awful child. Adam? Adam? We've picked out a name and there's nothing to eat. What do you want this time? Dr. Baker. Dr. Baker? Why? Because I really don't want to have this baby all by myself. Baby? Are... Are you sure? Adam, don't ask questions. You're wasting time. Right. Now what? I really think you should put your pants on. Right. Give it! Get him! Jane, it's a boy. It's a boy! Come to me, Mary. Adam? All righty, you two. I'm going to meet your new grandfather. Well... Charles Holbrook. Holbrook? You're his family, too, Grandpa. Better get a closer look, Ray Grandfather. Come here, my little friend. Could I hold him just for a second? Grandpa. When Grandma went, I thought my life was over. But now I'm an author. And a great grandfather. You've made an old man very happy. I'll miss you, Grandpa. I'll miss you, too. Whenever you think of me, you just read my book and I will be right here. I'll be right here. Yeah, I'm counting on you. Bye, Grandpa. Bye. You better go, Pa. Have a good trip. I'll miss you. Take good care of my great-grandchild. He's a Holbrook. My future. You all are. After we said goodbye at the station, Grandpa Holbrook passed on. His tombstone read simply, Frederick Holbrook. Author. He will always be remembered.