MARCUS RASHFORD ENDED RUBEN AMORIM! (FTW)

So then I said, yo mum, I don't care if I've had too many e-numbers. I want my f***ing sherbet, man. Oh, that's so crazy. You don't care about what your parents think. Of course not. Bunderfeds, man. Oh, no. Aye, we're in trouble. Alright, lads. This ball's stolen, isn't it? Let's play. Oh, that goal was crazy. No, but genuinely, this is stolen. You're going to jail for six years. Yo, guys. It is your boy Niren here and you are watching FTW. This, of course, is the series where I bring to you the best and more frequently the worst of what football has to offer during the last seven days. But what has been kicking off in the world this week? Well, there's the news that two teens have been charged with a cyber attack that affected transport across the country. That one wasn't even us. Tell it to the judge, man. Legitimately, I think if you hacked the train system in this country, it would run better than it does normally. What do you mean the next train's next Wednesday? Marcus Rashford was back home speeding through the streets of Manchester when all the green lights had been hacked to the on position. He was doing that anyway. Let's be 100% honest. Now, onto the football, and it's been a massive, massive week. We'll come to Europe in a second, but like a man who's married to his own cousin, we're keeping it English on the streets today. They're taking our houses. They're taking the lot. And they took your teeth as well. There was still the same threat of violence for Manchester United, but this time not in their own homes. They faced an away trip to their city rivals. So Jim Ratcliffe appalled seeing the price of a tram to the Etihad. It was United v Man City. And since Sir Alex Ferguson called them the noisy neighbours, they bought the entire estate, posted fireworks through United's letterbox, and then got them evicted. We're back from international break for this week, and clearly Pep Guardiola had spent the entirety of it sexually frustrated with some stiff praise for new signing Gianluigi Donnarumma. Just going back to Donnarumma, what does he give you that you didn't have? He's so tall. That gig is so huge. Beg your pardon? A wink is a madness. Him saying that he's tall and huge, they're separate quotes, mate. They mean different things. That must have been absolutely astounded when he saw the Italian in the shower for the first time. This is big. This huge. Massive. Guardiola though was horny for something else, and that was Derby Day victory. Would his Manchester City side be able to pull off a dramatic victory against the Reds? Yeah, of course. These lot lost to Grimsby. I don't actually know what you're expecting them to do anymore. The opener in this one came from Phil Foden Bruno was at least happy that Phil could put United a step closer to sacking Ruben Amorim. Thanks, Phil. Now, sorry. But I do think that his celebration was a little bit insensitive given recent events. Luke Shaw must have got information that the Glazers are on the Epstein files because how this man still plays for this football club is beyond me. He quite literally disappears when it's time to do anything in a big match. Haaland then made it two, and it was already looking peak for United supporters. Things were also not looking great for Seshko Mobile over here. Benjamin might genuinely be a supermarket worker based on current evidence. Another job he might be better off doing is being a barman. The barman at the Etihad, however, had a big shot coming. Clearly a United supporter, he decided as a joke to wear a United kit whilst pouring pints. That didn't go too well with one City fan who snitched on him and got him sacked according to the club. And he may have actually picked the wrong club. United's easiest PR stunt here would be to offer him a job and like do a full video on it the next time they win, which knowing them will be in about four months from now. He's peaked to be sacked for this reason, and I don't think he should have been to be honest with you. But people are acting like this is the greatest job of all time. He will probably be fine. It's probably like a summer job we'll say. But the guy who's done this is an absolute grass and you should be ashamed of yourself. Erling Haaland would catch Seshko Syndrome somehow missing from this position, but would grab his second and Man City's third thanks to Ruben Amrum conducting the world's first ever onside trap. He could be seen putting all of his United defenders circles in the opposition's half on his chessboard. I wonder what the hell's going on through this guy's mind genuinely because the version of Ruben Amrum that United got compared to Sporting is crazy. He's literally just attempting to aura farm his way through the optics. Looking good can only get you so far at this stage. The United players have given up on him. Ahmad Diallo was asking where the Shisha bar was by the 70th minute. I think he was on the Shisha mid-match to be honest with you, posting a picture of him doing a bicycle kick on his Insta story, leaving out the fact that he managed to send that bicycle kick into the stratosphere. These lot aren't winning a game again, let alone two in a row, let alone five in a row. Rosehair's going to be poking out of the stadium come 2028. An alarming statistic if you're a Manchester United supporter or coach or player or groundsman is that Patrick Dorgoo had the most touches of any United player in the opposition's box. That's a fundamental tactical issue. I'm going to make a full video on the situation of United soon and Ruben Amrum's tactics, but they don't even use aggression for ****'s sake. It's a Manchester derby. There was discussion going on on Twitter in the spaces at full time and Ruben Amrum clearly decided to dust off the old Berner account because one man entered the space and it sounded exactly like the Portuguese gaffer. That's the big issue. We had these big ideas for Ineos, but the moment I stopped believing is when Amrum stops believing. There's no way you're not him, man. I'm telling you right now, man. I wish I was as sexy as him. Him saying to himself that he's sexy is absolutely crazy. This account hadn't tweeted in four years, by the way. The city result pushed him over the edge. Bruno Fernandes was probably in the replies asking for a 4-2-3-1. Meanwhile, I know Sean Dyche is waiting for this job to become available. You know how long I've been waiting for this? I'm about to make a name for myself here. On socials after though, and Januishi Donnarumma tweeted that Manchester is blue. The guy's been there for about 20 minutes. Erling Haaland was getting his meat out. Meanwhile, at the other end of the pitch, and Benjamin Seshka Fender has now gone 007. It's a drastic state of affairs for United. Since Ruben Amrum took charge, no other club ever present in the Premier League has scored less points than them. 31 points in 31 games is ab-wow. Man, United fans, just lower your expectations, man. Now to midweek, and United's players, just like us, will be sitting down to watch the Champions League on their TV sets. A competition for big matches, massive moments, Thierry Henry longing for the sweet embrace of Kate Scott, and probably a Real Madrid penalty. Hello, it's me from the future here, and yes. Liverpool will be facing off against Diego Simeone's Atletico Madrid at Anfield, otherwise known as Diego Simeone's Harambal Atletico Madrid at Anfield. They were getting ready to play the most disgusting 8-1-1 formation, but we had a new attack in our arsenal. Alexander Isak was ready to make his debut. It was a chance for the Reds to provide revenge after the generational hate watch of 2021. Thankfully, with Adrian being put down medically years ago, we had a better chance in this one. And when we were 2-0 up inside six minutes, things were looking good. Mo Salah managed to score despite being surrounded. And honestly, I was having a great time watching Alexander Isak so much as exhale within a 14-metre radius of the football. However, Atletico Madrid midfielder Marcos Llorente caused a comeback in 2021, and he scored again in this game just before half-time, before equalising with five minutes to go. This man will genuinely appear in my nightmares till the end of time. This man might be the greatest footballer in the world if Liverpool was located in the country of Spain. We saw what happened last time. Why didn't we confiscate his passport at border control? Who even is my man? It's not even the real Llorente. After his exploits and knocking Liverpool out of the Champions League four years ago, he actually has a dog that he's named Anfield. He's taken the piss, mate. But thankfully for us, Added Time FC would strike again. It's a good header, actually! Virgil van Dijk would leap from a corner in the 92nd minute to headers three to a head, and these were the live scenes of me to Marcos Llorente's dog as soon as the ball hit the back of the net. How many Added Time winners are we actually going to get during the course of this season? Probably around 95, 96, was it? 94, 95, 96. It was dramatic once more, and Diego Simeone had a severe head loss. Clashing with Liverpool fans at the end of the game and getting red-carded, Virgil van Dijk had a clear message for the Argentine manager. And I've seen people talking about luck. We've been lucky during the course of the season, to be honest with you, but not in this game. You can't base games solely on xG, but generally speaking, we had the better of Atletico. We were just massively wasteful. I think it would have been more of a crime if we didn't win the match overall. In Germany, and in the first-ever custody match where the winner doesn't get custody, it was the Nicholas Jackson derby. Now, this was a tough start to Champions League proceedings for Enzo Maresca's men, and it showed. Bayern deservedly running out as 3-1 victors here. A brace from Harry Kane being the difference. You just got KAAA-ed! Now, I believe firmly that Trevor Schalleber must have studied GCSE German in this one, because he was practically egging the Bundesliga side on to win. Don't pass to him. On my life, he's playing for the other team. Another defender struggling in this one was Marc Kukerea, who was getting put in a split by Michael Alise. Paul Palmer did at least get himself on the score sheet, though brought out his customary cold celebration. Despite still losing the game at the time, he then scored again to make the scoreline 3-2, did his celebration, and then it was called as offside. And genuinely, that is appalling behaviour all round. That is- that's not cold. That's lukewarm temperature. Meanwhile, Nicholas Jackson had a clear message for Enzo Maresca as he drove past his former manager on the team bus. Now, as for Real Madrid versus HMP Marseille, and I was sitting down getting ready for a Trent Alexander-Arnold hate watch, only to be forced to leave the hatersphere after four minutes. Trent going off with a hamstring injury for Los Blancos. Let's be honest, he just doesn't want to play Liverpool at Anfield. He doesn't want that return. He doesn't want that smoke from our supporters. Trust me, he's faking it. He'll be stepping out of that wheelchair six minutes after full-time at Anfield. Dani Carvajal, however, said, Nah, G, you're not getting away with it that easily. The fellow right back getting himself sent off in this match for headbutting Marseille's goalkeeper. Things got even worse for Real when Timothy Weah scored at the Bernabeu 31 years after his dad did the same. However, Divine Intervention would step in for Los Blancos. And by Divine Intervention, I mean VAR's intervention. I'm not sure how one handball here isn't given, but the other is. Either way, Real Madrid absolutely peppered Marseille all game and did deserve the victory. Another for Barcelona fans, and Marcus Rashford made sure they were eating good. The Catalan side travelled to St. James' Park to face off against Newcastle, and despite a good start with the Magpies, a Marcus Rashford brace ensured a 2-1 victory for Barcelona. But he's not good enough for Manchester United. All right, Ruben, mate. He'll be dancing on United's grave come the end of the season. He has the same amount of goals in England as United do, and he lives in Spain, mate. Ruben Amirim, I'm sure, will be realising that he's the problem soon enough. Let's be honest, he was probably getting aggressive whilst watching his performance on his TV at home. The first goal was an excellent header, diverting it into the far corner. But his second was your first goal of the week. An absolute screamer, picking the ball up, making some space from Sandro Tonali, and absolutely thundering it in off the crossbar. He genuinely hit it like the ball owed him money. His former United teammates were happy for him on Insta, most of them leaving comments. And it's crazy to me that he's got back-to-back goals in a game for a different team before Amirim's even got back-to-back wins. The Portuguese gaffer probably just looked at Joshua Xherxey and sighed. Barca, I'm sure, will be rubbing Rashford in United's faces. They depicted him as Superman as they prepared to get back into Champions League action. Maybe the admin was on to something here. Arsenal got the better of athletic club Bilbao, defeating the La Liga side at 2-0. This one was a, honestly, was a playground scrap that just happened to have a football in the middle of it. Victor Iocrez, the victim of a clash of heads, his bandage preventing his increase in expected hair flicks. This Mosquera ute they got from Valencia is ******* mad, mate. The fact they got in for £10 million is the craziest bargain of the season so far. He, genuinely, you wouldn't even know that William Saliba's out. I mean, Arsenal as a defensive unit are absolutely incredible anyway. That's one thing I admire so much about them and their defensive depth is incredible as well. I mean, they've only conceded one goal all season, for ****'s sake, and it was a screamer of a free kick. Either way, all that praise being said, they were in their rightful place in the league phase after this victory. It's a disgrace. The reigning Champions League victors were, of course, in action as well, and they absolutely pummeled Atalanta with a 4-0 win. Could have been any scoreline, this one. Kavica, Kovac, Shkelia scored an absolute screamer. Atalanta pretty lacklustre with the loss of their former manager, Gasparini. This is the Atalanta that actually turned up. There was something quite unique about this game, though, for PSG, and that's that Luis Enrique was sat in the stands. He's apparently taken some inspiration from rugby, where managers actually sit in the stands and have, like, a little earpiece. They can watch the whole match unfold in front of them. Rosen at Xbox Live Party with his assistant manager. This is utter woke nonsense. Manchester City were in action as they faced off against Napoli, and saw a chance for a return to the Etihad for Kevin De Bruyne, their former iconic midfielder who left in the summer. Goal, 23rd minute, Kevin De Bruyne. To be fair, bolder me to assume that he'd even make it that far. An early red card for Napoli making this game easy for Man City, while simultaneously seeing Kevin De Bruyne substituted off early. He would instead be celebrating when Man City's players at full-time. He's got some vitamin D in him, and now look. Unfortunate he had to come off after 25 minutes. That coincidentally, the same amount of time he's allowed to be in the sun without getting heatstroke. For Monaco, and they had a bit of a disaster before they even arrived for their Champions League game, an aircon fault leading to their plane turning basically into a sauna. Every player having to strip down basically half-naked and take to the runway instead. That's a different type of runway that these lot are doing. An underwear shoot at Heathrow Airport is absolutely ******* mental, by the way. Meanwhile, I know Pep Guardiola will be breaking Manchester City's aircon immediately, so he can see Gianluigi Donnarumma's throbber. What even is this series anymore? As a Bayerni side, Carabao pulled off an unbelievable comeback as they came back from 2-0 down to defeat Benfica 3-2. An absolutely momentous result for them. Given the comparisons here between the values of how much each team is supposed to be worth, this was a complete mismatch, you know? Winning at all, let alone coming back from 2-0 down, is incredible for them. Team up with Borussia Dortmund, and their favourite dessert? A crumble. They went from 4-2 up to drawing 4-1 in stoppage time. Call an ambulance! But not from me! Zohu Karassi, meanwhile, has some serious dedication to his football club. So much so that he's changed his entire surname to Dortmund. But it couldn't stop Dortmund from throwing this one. The unlikely source of former Bournemouth defender Lloyd Kelly grabbing the equaliser for Juventus in the 96th minute. Juventus ultras will be wondering how exactly Lloyd ended up in that position. What are you doing here? And not in a racist way. And, I mean, where does it end for Dortmund, man? These guys crumble at every possible opportunity in Europe. They'll always let you down. They've got a longer criminal rap sheet in Europe than Conor McGregor. Speaking of criminals, and Villarreal were in action. They faced off against Tottenham, the North London side, winning 1-0 thanks to an early own goal. Their home fans brought out a sensational display for this one. In comparison to Arsenal's Tifo, really shows what winning a European trophy will do to a man. Back in the Premier League, and Tottenham were victorious there as well under Thomas Frank. Albeit against charity case and part-time football club West Ham United. This was a 3-0 demolition. West Ham, I mean, they're just finished, aren't they? I've said it in a video before. Tottenham were getting techy over on social media, commenting on what a great player Mohamed Kudus was, as he played against his former club. It's a -----housery award for their admin. But even more criminal than that for the Hammers was Cricencio Somerville wearing gloves in September. More like Cricencio made it summer still. Am I right? It's ******* warm outside. A turf war, and as I alluded to earlier, Liverpool did a madness once again. This one had been 0-0 thanks to some haramble from Burnley. I mean, in fairness, they were a defensive wall, and we weren't able to break them down. Milos Kerkes, despite that, still managed to have a complete stinker as a defender that shouldn't have needed to do anything, and was hooked after 38 minutes. The kid is struggling at the moment when it's time to do anything one-on-one. Thankfully for us though, Hannibal would become handible in what can only be described as a possible example of match-fixing, allowing Mo Salah to score a penalty late on. Brentford scored late on as well, this time to ruin Chelsea's day in a West London clash. Boise's Caicedo had looked like he would give the Blues the victory, but Alejandro Garnacho lost his man at the back post, and Fabio Carvalho was able to equalise, the Argentinian once again doing the thinkable. His highlights were poor in this one, though if we zoom in a little bit closer, and you realise that Chelsea were actually robbed a little bit in this one, an incorrect offside call being given here. Look, I said the PGMOL are just incompetent all round, I've been saying that, but it didn't stop Brentford manager Keith Andrews from getting confident over on Twitter. He is the manager now. What do you think, Keir? At Newcastle, and they were victorious against bottom of the table Wolves What did you call me? There was controversial reffing in this one, as this Wolves defender somehow wasn't given a straight red card, for this last man challenge. I mean, like, what are we even doing here? Either way here, defeat for Wolves. Their manager Vitor Pereira having to get defensive, when Eddie Howe tried to put Strand Larsson in the back of the Newcastle coach. Strand Larsson, whoo. If you're Newcastle, you ain't have him. You're not gonna buy him off it, no. Elsewhere in the West Midlands though, and things are looking bleak for Aston Villa. They haven't scored in the Premier League yet this season. They're only points coming from two nil-nil draws. They then crashed out of the Carabao Cup at the hands of Brentford. Their keeper commenting on the fact that he lost his contact lenses during the penalty shootout. You've lost on pens to a Don who hasn't even got depth perception. Honestly, there's a few things going wrong at Villa, tactically speaking. Realistically, the starting 11 they need in order to win some games is very different indeed. Things not really starting too well for Ange Bostacoglou at Nottingham Forest either. After being defeated in his first game in the league versus Arsenal, he was also knocked out of the Carabao Cup at the hands of Championship side Swansea. Jesus might have scored two goals for Forest here, but he couldn't save Ange's managerial resurrection. And we talk about Ruben Amrim not being flexible or adaptable as a manager. Ange has got some stern words for any supporters that don't like his defensive set-up. F*** you, Nine Nose. Do you think it's gonna look good on the news carrying on like a title war? I don't give a f***. I didn't do s***. The guy's already looking down at the floor in interviews. It might be game over. Yeah, well, mate. Already wanna f***ing kill myself. In Spain, now at Barcelona, things are going positively for them. Unfortunately, in this situation, that meant an STI test, as Luminor was ruled out of action thanks to discomfort in the pubic area. What is going on here? Luminor Milf back at it again. Did we really need to know this information? Like, they could have just said that he's not fit to play. Like, we didn't actually need to know. I just know that he's burning right now at Missing Games. Well, I mean, in more ways than one. This, I've got to say, I would not expect to see booting up FIFA career mode. And the official graphic that the club made for it, even worse. Sevilla's admin has us covered, though. Letting us know that they don't have any pain in that area. That's good to know, I suppose. Luminor's younger brother, however, was hanging out with what I believe is Jamal's girlfriend. I can't keep up at this point. Was this kid born with a Barcelona shirt on? Like, every single time. And it's always this one as well. It was that kit, pre-release, even before it came out. On the pitch, though, for Barca, and things are going well, as they slapped up Valencia 6-0 in La Liga. These lot were one goal away from getting Gary Nevilled again. He was left confused seeing he was getting the blame for this again on Monday Night Football. Real talk, we might have to get Valencia's owners deported. Like, how did they actually fall from grace this badly? You know, I know it's been a long time since they were in Champions League finals with Rafa Benitez, but this is an absolute disgrace for a club like them. Gavi, meanwhile, was getting his anger out playing a different sport altogether. Over at Real Madrid, meanwhile, and they had a difficult time as Dean Hoysen saw himself getting a red card. They're calling him Sadam Hoysen, by the way. This is absolutely crazy. This is second red card for the football club already. He's going band for band with Sergio Ramos at this point. But they did still manage to beat Real Sociedad, even with 10 men. Kylian Mbappe even inventing a new tears celebration that I'm gonna break my controller over on FC 26. There's joy and whimsy, though, for their Madrid rivals, Nico Gonzalez treating this mic in an interview like karaoke. In Italy, there was an absolutely mental derby, the Italia, between Juventus and Inter. Juve earning the three points in the end, thanks to a 91st minute winner from a 19-year-old. Hakan Chaldunoglu's two bangers were not enough, but incredibly, both Turan brothers scored in the same game. Lillian will be delighted knowing that his sperm is now worth 183 million. Both brothers could be seen on rev-cam. I'm using this image for many things, in any case. It's actually crazy that two ballers have been produced from two balls. I don't know what's got into Juventus recently, by the way. The team that could only draw every single game last season have pulled out two absolute classics back-to-back. The cholesterol levels of their supporters are in the mud. At Milan, Anluca Modric became the oldest player to ever score in Serie A history, at the age of 40 in a 1-0 victory. You know you're old when you're the oldest Serie A anything. To be fair to him, unbelievable longevity. As he said over on Twitter, age is just a number. Check his hard drive. At Fiorentina, and shout-out to Moise Keane, becoming one of a very small and illustrious list of people who have got a song on the FIFA soundtrack and, of course, are a footballer on FIFA as well. He's definitely the most high-profile. The only others, both being from England, Kamikaze, the first, who was a youth player at Leicester and then had a tune in the game, and Kiyokiz, who was like a youth player for Fleetwood Town. Now, over the summer, Jonathan Rowe and Adrian Rabiot were most known for their clash at Marseille. They had a scrap on a training ground and apparently left one of them laid out, sparked out on the floor. Both of them, unsurprisingly, were sold, given their conduct. Even despite Marseille's employment record, they both joined Serie A clubs. That, of course, meant they would clash this season, though hopefully not physically. And when Jonathan Rowe was substituted, the cameraman decided to pan directly to Adrian Rabiot in their game. They, let's be honest, they were beating each other up 12 seconds in. Meanwhile in France, it's been a great week for the Mbappes. Ethan grabbing his first goal for Lille, the 18-year-old doing it in the form of a 98th-minute winner against Toulouse, and over in Germany, Wolfsburg pulled out an incredible display ahead of their game against Cologne. Now, though, time for your Goals of the Week. And first of all, we head to Algeria, where we've got an absolutely beautiful team goal being scored. This one is passed fluidly from back to front, and it's just beautiful cohesion. Lovely, lovely team goal. We don't really get to see many of those in Goals of the Week. A piece of personal and solo brilliance, though, comes from Poland. As with the ball in, headed back across, Alex Lovniczak pulled out this spectacular bicycle kick into the top corner. But if you thought that was beautiful acrobatics, then you've seen nothing yet, as we head to America for Atalanta's second team, where a free kick has been converted with a ridiculous scorpion kick. Hello, all, and welcome to The Beautiful Game, the segment where we take a look at the poetic and brilliant side of the game that we love. We are back by popular demand for yet more glorious beauty. Not his own teammate, but fancy. And that concludes The Beautiful Game. Over in Turkey, and Andrei Anana completed his move to Trabzonspor from Manchester United. The Cameroonian, of course, fell out of favour after multiple mistakes at Old Trafford. This man won't survive Turkish fans, bro. It's a wrap. He probably dropped his passport on the way in. And incredibly, in his first game, he'd be facing off against Edison, who'd just made the move to Fenerbahce. Manchester City fans probably had heart attacks seeing that he was in the starting XI, this being the Manchester derby that we've got at home. To be honest, though, Anana had a really good game. Like, statistically, made a lot of saves, got a really good rating. Though, to be honest, I've never even seen some of these stats before. What the **** do you mean a diving save got recorded? Either way, him and Rasmus Hoylen both got great ratings the first day after leaving Manchester United. And Andrei even provided some passion in the dressing room. Let's be honest, he didn't need to do all of that ----, man. The guy who's actually doing the speech just wanted to jam. End it all! A Legends game packed to the brim of some of the most iconic names in world football took place in South Korea this week, for some reason being Portugal's Legends versus, like, a team of world legends. And somehow, one country came out victorious here. Some of the scorers, though, incredible in this game, the likes of Figo and Michael Owen. We even saw Ronaldinho reunited with Wayne Rooney on the same team after the FIFA 06 cover, as well as Gareth Bale and Ronaldinho standing over a free kick. What do these guys even chat about? Let's be honest, he probably had some explaining to do, when letting them know you're there resulted in him right-hooking Ricardo Quaresma. As I said, Portugal were victorious. Incredible to think Cristiano Ronaldo's probably older than half of the invite list here, and he's actually still playing. Speaking of the GOAT debate, and, well, Lionel Messi not had the greatest of weeks. Failing this chipped Ferenca absolutely horribly. Not gonna lie, it's probably the first time he's ever been embarrassed. The next up, and we've got some brilliant link-up play, and it's set this attacker through on goal. He's left the defenders behind him, but unfortunately, he's got a pair of heelies on. That is a selection of the worst touches I've ever seen, bro. Let go of the right trigger, it's okay. Over in Brazil, there's tension between Neymar and any defender that he's now rinsing these days. We're at Cruzeiro, and how big is this guy if he's leaning over Hulk? Which superhero is this, for ****'s sake? There were disgusting scenes in Singapore, unlike I've never seen before, actually, where a free kick's been taken, and in the middle of it, a guy's just jumped and then stamped on the back of a guy that was in the wall. There wasn't even any need for this, mate. A side in the Moroccan 1st Division managed to do the unthinkable, getting three red cards during the course of the match, only to still somehow score an equaliser late in the day. Other teams got out of a word with themselves. I think they had a red card as well. What the **** happened in this match? They need to chill out, take a second, and experience the finer things in life, like building real-life table football and playing it with your mates. This is incredible, and I would like to now play this. Thank you very much. I just wanted to make that known. Now that it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for, because over in Romania, with the season back now in full swing, Romania's antics firmly are as well. They're always looking to be innovators. Pioneers are the Romanians in the world of football. And so that's why they've created a new hospitality section, a VIP box at the Clunceni Stadium, I think I'm saying that wrong, which has an open-view toilet. Yep, even when you need to go for a ----, you can still see all of the optics. Closer to home, and during a speech, the director of the FBI was wearing a Liverpool tie. He's defending Epstein in this video as well, for ****'s sake, Robbo's on the list, isn't he? You're telling me that the head of the FBI had emotional investment in this football club, and nobody arrested Darwin Nunez? It's been a great start to life at Everton for Jack Grealish. He earned the Premier League's Player of the Month for August, a lovely surprise that he received from Kinn and Dewsbury Hall. Well-deserved, mate. Premier League Player of the Month. Congratulations. Thank you, mate. There you go. First one, mate, yeah, first one. I actually thought that you were winding me up as well. At Portsmouth, and there's the revelation that both of their goalkeepers are, in fact, twins. Bam, it's the same guy. The guys in their youth academy are all the same as well. The infamous Southampton dancing fan has got himself a new shirt, and I'm not sure if I approve of it, to be honest with you. Meanwhile, down at Weldstone, they grabbed a goal this week in the Vanarama National League, thanks to their opponent's goalkeeper thinking he'd already made save of the season, getting distracted and then being beaten on the rebound. In Croatia, an Ed Sheeran was pictured with a Hajduk split shirt. What the **** is this man doing over there? In Bhutan now, some serious violence on the football pitch. A push and a shove resulting in a volley in the back and a brawl afterwards. Shout-out to Kerry in Ireland, currently eighth in the second division. They pulled off an incredible comeback win to win 4-3 against one of the biggest clubs in the country, in the Irish Cup. In Cameroon, and this linesman is taking no prisoners when some fans weren't happy with his officiating. Meanwhile, we probably had the biggest population mismatch in footballing history last week, when the Northern Mariana Islands faced off against China's under-23 side. That's a population of 44,000 compared to 1.4 billion. Better say, China came out on top. Now though, it's time for Still 0-0, and you guys know the score by now. It's in a segment of the show where I bring to you the best of Sunday League and amateur football. Now we're kind of cheating a little bit here, because we've actually got a five-a-side clip. But you can't tell me it's professional, ladies and gentlemen. This is still very much amateur. And I know this defender's not going to get himself a professional contract anytime soon, because he's managed to get nutmegged three separate times by the same footballer, in the space of about 16 seconds. That is absolutely, you can't show your face on the AstroTurf ever again. It's time to go home, wrap it up, and play badminton instead. On to the weird stuff though now. First of all, we've got not just news on one team, not just one player, but an entire league. The Andorian League right now is having to be paused at the moment. They've delayed the start of the season. It was supposed to start in September, but they haven't been able to play the first few game weeks, because of a country-wide problem that's causing delays to visas for foreign players. Like, they're not actually being able to hand out visas quick enough to people that need them, which of course is affecting players who are coming from different countries, and therefore legally can't play. And now everyone's just waiting around doing nothing. But finally, one man who's not waiting around whatsoever, is the owner of Luxembourg's side, Titus Pétange. Now, these guys are actually owned by a German singer called Ado Kojo, and he's not a passive owner, let's say. Yeah, he wants to get firmly involved. He's decided, so early on in the season, to sack the current manager, and instead of going on a search for a new coach, you know, someone with a bit of experience, he's decided to install himself as the manager on an interim basis. Things didn't go too well for him, though, in his first game, because he was defeated 3-0. That, though, is gonna wrap up Football This Week, and I hope you have enjoyed it. If you have, then feel free to slap a like on the video, and of course, subscribe if you're new to the channel. You can also follow me on social media, it is at TheOfficialFNG on Twitter and on Insta. It was been a pleasure ranting at you guys today. Have a wonderful day, enjoy yourselves, and goodbye. Can't get you out of my head